The Ninja Who Loved Me
Chapter 9: Stories Of Pain
Author's note: 2 reviews? PLEASE! I'm begging for more!
The assassin and the avenger finally meet up again after being apart for almost a month!
Also, the main couple in this story of mine is Sasuke and my OC, Hitomi, if you get confused with what she looks like, here it is.
Hitomi and Sasuke in this story are both around 12 or 13.
Hair color: Black, long, and pulled back in a ponytail, kind of like Kikyo's hairstyle if you've ever seen Inuyasha because I love that hairstyle.
Eye color: Green.
Of The Hidden Sun and Moon Village
Outfit: Red shirt with a black jacket with black belt and black pants like Tsunade's. Her shirt is long sleeved and sort of baggy without the jacket. Her jacket is with a Silver symbol of the Sun and Moon Clan, which is Half Sun and Half Moon together on the back., and on her sleeves Japanese writing that I would say "Sukashi" My assassin team that Hitomi is apart of. Her jacket is lined with red, And the Headband of the Sun and Moon, which she wears occasionally to hide her identity. And black sandals like every Ninja wears.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, (cries hysterically) but I do own Hitomi, who tells the story.
For weeks I watched Sasuke, trying to learn more about him. The boy who knew my pain, but I didn't even know why. He often went on his team for missions and so I didn't seem him that often. After missions were over, he would always go around town looking for something. That something I believe was me, even though I couldn't even ask to hope for that. It always broke my heart when I would look up at the sky and think about the Sukashi and my home. They were probably so worried about me, and more importantly, they were probably wondering why I hadn't come back to report the outcome of the mission. And we all know that I can't even face them now after what's happened. I was a disgrace, to myself and the Sukashi. Ninja weren't supposed to fall in love or ever show their emotions to anyone. I had shown my emotions to Sasuke, and worse was in love with him, and in doing this, I single handedly betrayed them. I was so ashamed at myself. I cried whenever I thought about that. I hadn't dared leave the Village, I had almost gotten caught by people several times, and that's because I hadn't slept much or eaten much for that matter. I had stolen and thankfully it got taken out on other people, but as usual with me, they could never find the culprit. And I had slept on Sasuke's floor whenever he wasn't home, but thankfully, I had gotten sleep instead of none at all. I wanted to go home so badly, but the only thing standing in my way of that is Sasuke. I have to bring myself to kill him, these feelings I had for him, they couldn't matter to me, and yet they did. They stung my heart even more than my homesickness and the desire to leave this place forever. I wished I had never met him at all. If I ever went back home, my reputation would be completely destroyed.
That night instead of waiting for him to come home, I decided to walk around the Village. I had heard after following him and his team that he would be out for quite awhile so I had really nothing to worry about. I walked to a nearby bridge that had lit torches, but if I heard anyone coming I would've heard them. I leaned against the bridge, looked at my reflection in the water, and thought of Aoi, Akio, and Rei, and how much disappointment would be in them when they found out what I had done and what I couldn't even bring myself to do. How could I do this to the most important people in my life! Urgh! But on the other hand, Sasuke had made me feel something that I hadn't felt in years: love. Not the love and happiness that I had when my family was still alive, but a love that I could feel for one other person, and that person, sadly, was him. The Boy that would destroy the Hidden Leaf Village, the boy that kissed me, the boy that said he felt something with him that he never felt before, and the boy who knew the pain that I had felt. I had been following him to find out what exactly this pain was, but I had never found anything out through just following him alone. I needed to know why exactly he would destroy this Village before I make my choice. I wasn't even thinking about anything at all about how to stay hidden anymore. So I started to speak out. No one could hear me, but I had held this in for so long, I felt like I was going to explode. He would be back soon, and I would have to hide again. I looked at my reflection in the water, and then spoke out.
"Sasuke Uchiha," I said. "The name that I dread so much, belongs to the boy that I just don't even understand. Why are you in pain? How do you know the pain that I have been carrying in all of these years? In my years of being apart of the Sukashi, none of my assignments have ever known the pain that I have felt. I don't even understand why I've fallen in love with you, and since I have, I cannot even do the duty that I have sworn to do. You will be a threat to us all, be a murderer and a traitor to your people and the problem is that you don't even know it yet. And yet, out of all of those things, I don't care. I have watched you and you seem like none of these things that they have fore seen. Why did it have to be you? Why did I have to fall for you? The person who made me feel like I had another purpose for living other than doing what I have been doing for all of these years? And yet I don't regret meeting you, even though I should. I don't regret that night at all, the only thing that I think I do regret is learning who you are and knowing that I can never be with you the way I want to. What should I do? I know one thing, I can never see you again."
"Well, I think you're going to have a problem with that," a familiar voice said.
My eyes widened and I turned around to see the boy I hadn't stopped thinking about since the first day I saw Sasuke, staring right at me, panting really hard, as if he had been running after something. One hand was on the bridge, holding him up. I started to back away from him, what the hell was I thinking coming out here? OK, I'm completely out of my mind, the next thing you know, I will be going up to the first Jonin I see and tell him my life story. He knows that I'm here, and who knows what he will do now? That's it. I have to leave this place before anything more gets out of hand. I don't care if my reputation is completely ruined, I've had enough of this Village, and I needed to get away from him before he learns anything about me. Even though I was relieved to see him, even though I wanted to know the truth about him and how he knew my pain, I didn't care. I can't be in love with a murderer and a traitor, and now I won't let him have his way. I backed up slightly, letting only one tear fall from my face, and started to run for my life.
"Wait!" he cried.
I didn't even get ten feet away from where I was when he grabbed my hand again like he did that night. He then pulled me close to him and held me hard in his arms, and the worst part was that I wasn't even resisting. I went as stiff as a board. I was trying to reach for my Kunai knife to get him away from me, or even kill him even though it would kill me. My hand was so close to reaching my Kunai while my other hand was trying really hard to get him off me. I was resisting but he wasn't letting go, instead he held me harder.
"Let me go!" I hissed, trying to force myself to push him away from me.
"After looking for you for almost a month with nothing until now? No way."
"I'm warning you!" I hissed again.
And then as I fought him, he leaned forward and before I could even react, I felt his warm and soft lips against mine and instead of before, I didn't kiss him back, rather I went as stiff as a board again and didn't even know what to do. Part of me really wanted to give into him, the other knew the right thing to do and that was get as far away from him as possible. My arms fell down by my sides and I didn't know what to do. He stayed that way a long time, and it terrified me that I couldn't even do anything to fight him. This simple Genin whom if I so desired, could slit his throat before he could even knew what that pain was that would send him to his death. Why couldn't I do it? Am I just weak, or am I just too taken over by silly emotions that I can't? Or is it because, that I vowed never to kill again save this one man that got away? That doesn't give me any excuse. Being in the Sukashi fully didn't matter now, because I wouldn't stoop to that level and I had to bring Sasuke back to Headquarters and make sure he never destroys this village. I tried reaching for my Kunai but he just pressed me up against him and I couldn't resist anymore and I kissed him back, tears running down my face. I wrapped my arms around as I once again could not control myself, and in doing so, I once again betrayed the Sukashi. Whether I knew why Sasuke would become a murderer and a traitor couldn't be my reason for not killing him. This wasn't about me, it was about this Village. I cried because I was kissing him back, and I wasn't sure he realized it.
When we broke apart, our arms were still around each other, and he was smiling. And then he looked at me fully and then his smile disappeared.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry, I can't," I said. "This is wrong, we can't... we can't do this."
"Look, about that night. I don't know why you reacted like that, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since," Sasuke said. He then smiled. "And also, we're at a disadvantage. You know my name, but I don't know yours."
"And you never will," I said, piercing my heart with my words. "For I am just another girl that you know, and you will never see me again. After a day or two, you will forget me, like I will forget you. You mean nothing to me."
I pushed myself out of his arms, and started to leave the bridge. Let the Sukashi take care of this one, I'm going home.
"I'd like to point out a few things on what you just said." He grabbed my hand again like he did that night. I didn't resist, I truly gave up. "If I mean nothing to you, then why are you crying? And I haven't forgotten about you, I can't. You're different from other girls, and clearly I have seen you again, which means that you haven't left the Village since the party. I can tell by your clothes, because they're the same from that night."
I still kept looking forward.
"And also, I clearly mean something to you, you felt something. Your tears tell me that."
I closed my eyes to try to kill my tears, to no avail. I have only been this way in front of Akio Sensei and Aoi Sensei, and the time when my Village was burned to the ground and I watched as everyone I loved die. Now, Sasuke has seen my tears. Why am I just digging myself into a hole that I can't even get out of now?
"You're right."
I admitted the truth.
"Yes, it's true. I did feel something that night, maybe something stronger than what you felt. But sadly, there is nothing that can be done. I'm here for only one reason and one reason alone. Sadly, my feelings for you are standing in the way of that..."
I was cut off, as he spun me around and kissed me again, and I pulled away.
"DO YOU EVER LISTEN?" I hissed.
"I don't care what's standing in your way. I feel something stronger towards you, and I feel like you know something that I know. Pain. I saw it in your eyes that night we met."
"What do you know about pain, Sasuke Uchiha?" I said. "And more importantly, what makes you think you know about me?"
"More than you," he said.
"I highly doubt that!" I roared. "You know nothing about my pain!"
"Like you know nothing about mine," he countered. "But I will if you tell me."
I looked at him fully, and saw behind those eyes pain and suffering. I recognized as he held me, as if he didn't want to lose me again. He'd found me after looking for so long, and now that he found me, he didn't want to ever let go. I felt the same, but this would never happen. He grabbed my hand again, interlacing our fingers.
"So, lets try again without Sakura and Ino ruining the moment for us," he said, leading me away from the bridge, and to the place where he told Sakura that she was annoying. We sat down on the bench and he still held my hand, and I still looked away from him. With his other hand, he grabbed my other hand.
"I'm Sasuke Uchiha," he said. "What's your name?"
"My name is Hitomi Saitou," I said.
"That's a pretty name, I'm glad I know it," he said.
"And you need to know the truth about why I'm here."
He looked at me.
"Sasuke, I'm an assassin and I was sent here to kill you to prevent a horrible tragedy from ever occurring," I said, and he stood up in absolute shock. "I'm sorry, but it's true. That is my true purpose here, but I find that now I can't do it because I fell in love with you from the first time I saw you. As much as I want to be with you, as much as I want to do my job and make sure that you will never do what has been fore seen, but I can't do either."
He just looked at me in shock, maybe now he would know to stay away from me.
"That is why we can never be together, Sasuke," I said. "I'm leaving the Village tonight and I'm never coming back. It will kill me to leave you, but I will manage to survive. After all, I was never supposed to feel something like this for anyone. So, you'll forget me and move on with another girl in your life, but you'll live fully."
We just stared at each other, he seemed the slightest bit confused.
"You're here to kill me?"
"Do you ever listen?" I sighed. "Yes, but I can't bring myself to do it. I tried already, and my feelings for you are preventing that from happening. But I don't want the people here to lose their home and families the way that I did."
He gasped, and my eyes widened as I realized what I had just said.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing, it's nothing."
"Don't lie to me. You said that you lost a family. Tell me what happened."
"And I also believe that this is another reason why I can't kill you."
"Why?"
"That day with Sakura talking about that boy Naruto, you said to her that she has no idea what it means to be alone. Who are you, Sasuke Uchiha, and how do you know what it means to be alone?"
"And I could ask you the same question."
"Well I asked it first, so why don't you just answer it?"
"Because you clearly know something about me doing something in the future, and you're not telling me," he said angrily.
"If I do, who knows what will happen?" I looked down. "I've never had a conversation with a boy like you before."
"So what does that matter?"
I looked at the ground, and then back at him. I needed to learn the truth about him before I did anything else, and since he seemed to know what pain exactly was, I decided he should know the truth about me. I would decide later if I should tell him what he was going to do in the future and destroy the Village.
"My name is Hitomi Saitou, and I'm the last survivor of not only the Saitou Clan but also of the Hidden Village of the Sun and Moon. This pain you say that you have seen behind my eyes is the pain of losing all of that. I am an avenger, driven by the pain of watching every single person in my village die for me. On the day that came and killed everyone, they left me alive. But they gave me this."
I held up my arm, and revealed the scar that almost killed me.
"How old were you?" he asked.
"I was seven when I died, almost eight. It was one day before my eighth birthday. Just a few weeks before I would've started at the academy and would've followed my dream of being Sunakage of the village and become as strong as my Nii-San. Most girls my age would've started the happy life on the path of becoming a Ninja. Not me. I buried my family that day and they told me that if I moved from the Village, I would most likely die from the wound that the leader gave me, and then they left me, alone in my pain and bleeding. I decided that there was no point staying there, and I grabbed what was left of my clan and left the Village, never to return. I was dying, each step I took away from my home killed me as my wound burned me. I collapsed on the side of the road and was prepared to die, when I was found by two men. Those two men took me in as their own, healed my wound, taking away the pain and burning of my wound. Those men taught me everything I know, but in exchange for that, they told me that I had to become a member of the Sukashi. I needed power to avenge my family and my village so I took it. For 6 six years they have trained me and I've become stronger than I ever could imagine. When I was 10, I became a murderer because I found the men that killed my family. But only one was not there, I tortured all of them for information but the only thing I got out of them were that they were from the Hidden Sound Village. They never said anything else, but their cries for mercy. I killed them all, blood everywhere, and I vowed never to kill again after that day with the exception of the one man that got away. For the past three years I've been working fully for the Sukashi, as I owed them everything, including my life. I never killed anyone, and I never stopped looking for the man that got away. I kept my vow, until I got the order to come here, find you, and kill you. You are destined to destroy this Village, I don't why, but that is what has been fore seen. They told me that if I killed you, I would become a full member of the Sukashi. But I met you and fell in love with you, and now I can't do the deed that I've been assigned. Both because of my story of pain, and because of my feelings. Even now I am suffering, pain like that just doesn't leave you."
I looked at him, and he had tears in his eyes.
"Why are you crying?" I asked.
"I just never thought I'd meet someone that knows that same pain that I know," he said. "For so many years, I thought I was alone."
I raised an eyebrow and stood up and started to walk away.
"What are you talking about? Be grateful that you haven't..."
"I know that pain."
I gasped, and he stood up as well.
"I have felt your pain, I know your agony. I know exactly what you're talking about. I know what's like to lose a family, and watch as you feel powerless because you were too weak and young to do anything to stop it. Having to live out your life searching for the person that took all of that away from you."
"What do you mean? How do you know that?"
"I'm Sasuke Uchiha, and I lost my entire clan in one night and I'm one of the only ones left to the Uchiha clan. I was left alive by the person who killed my entire clan in one night without any remorse and only did it for the purpose of testing his own abilities. He butchered my family, my parents, everyone, just for that one reason. I was lonely and was just a kid living only for the sole purpose of avenging his family. The desire for justice, the desire for revenge, the desire to be stronger to achieve that goal. I know that pain and still know it even to this day. You and I, we are the same."
It was true, we were the same. I knew Sasuke understood pain but never did I imagine he understood my pain of being alone after losing a family and everything you ever cared about.
"And hearing your story, I know that I'm not alone anymore," he said, coming closer to me. "Hitomi, I want us to be together."
"So do I, Sasuke," I said, looking away from him. "But we can't. The Sukashi would find out, and I haven't reported back to them in a month. They're going to wonder what I have been doing. When they find out that I fell in love with my target, who knows what they would do to you. I don't... I don't want to lose you."
Sasuke held me close to him, and I just didn't react at all.
"Couldn't we keep it a secret? No one would have to know you're from there. You could stay here with me. I could just say I found you and will look after you. No would have to know your secret..."
"I AM A SECRET! I've been living secrets my whole life and now I have to choose to become apart of another one! People would know, I just know it. I know that something horrible will happen. This could never work Sasuke..."
"Please," he said, grabbing my hands. "At least think about it for me. I know I'm asking you to choose between the people who saved your life and me, but please know that I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. Know that I want you to be with me, Hitomi. And I know you want the same thing."
I looked at him, I did want to be with him, but how could I?
"Alright."
I pressed my lips to his one more time before I walked away from him.
I ran off into the night, leaving him behind for the second time to be alone with my thoughts.
That's it! I hope you enjoyed it!
Next chapter will be Hitomi's hard decision and her answer? What will she do?
You want another chapter? 2 or more reviews! I'll move it up when I get more reviewers! You know the drill! Read and review! Come on guys, I know you can do it! I need motivation!
Thank you until next time!
Signed
Kagomehater4ever
