The Uncanny Spider-Man

Chapter 9: Uncanny Spider-Friends

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel.


Shout Outs-

Needles- Correct guesses on Spidey, MJ and She-Hulk staying in the Tower. No Black Cat, Daredevil or Black Widow though. Black Cat is living in the Baxter Building with the rest of Deadpool Inc. while DD and the Widow are living together in Hell's Kitchen.

Doza- I'm glad you liked this fic so far and I hope you'll like what I have planned in future chapters too.

Agent-G- I'm sorry that you didn't like this. I don't force people to read my stuff. If people don't like my stories, they don't have to read my stuff. And I do try to put lots of description into my work for people that don't know but apparently this isn't enough. I'm sorry but I can only do so much. And as for needlessly stretching my chapters out…Need I remind anybody how much of a farce recent issues of Ultimate Spider-Man was? Bendis needlessly stretched the plot out when he could have done it in half the time if he cut down on half the waffle. Also, I kind alike the old 'Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends' show. Yes, it was cheesy and kinda lame but that was part of the charm.

Thanks to- LordLanceahlot.


Manhattan-

A chauffeur-driven limousine pulled up outside one of Manhattan's many skyscrapers and four figures stepped out. A nondescript man with brown hair, an attractive redheaded woman with a pregnant belly, a sweet little grey-haired woman and a very tall, muscular green-skinned woman. They were Peter, Mary Jane and May Parker and Jennifer Walters: She-Hulk. They had arrived at their new home.

'Oh my…' May's jaw dropped as she looked up at the colossal structure before them. 'Are you sure you can afford this?'

'I pulled a few strings and got you guys an apartment for free.' Jen replied. 'It seemed that Tony Stark owed you a favour.'

'Not that I don't appreciate this or anything…' Mary Jane said. 'But… what was wrong with our old place?'

'It wasn't very well-protected from any one of Peter's Rogues for one.' Jen answered. 'Stark Towers has one of the most sophisticated security systems in the country. Second only to Avengers Mansion, the Baxter Building and the Whitehouse.'

'What about the Xavier Institute?' Peter asked.

Jen opened her mouth to retort but thought better of it.

'Let's move along, shall we?'


Inside-

After a quick elevator right upwards, Peter and the others reached their swanky new apartment. The actual apartment was understandably sparse, seeing that the furniture hadn't arrived yet but the huge windows that ran around the apartment's perimeter gave one hell of a view of Manhattan.

'Are you sure that all these windows are safe?' May wondered as she cautiously peered outside. 'What if that horrid Green Goblin attacks?'

'I doubt he will even get within pumpkin bomb distance.' Jen smirked. 'But if ol' Gobby does, he'll find out that this place is harder to get into than Cyclops' wallet.'

As if to illustrate her point, Jen punched the window. A rather loud 'BOOM!' reverberated around the room.

'Did you have to do that?' Peter winced as he removed his hands from his ears. 'Ow.'

'Just a handle little invention that Reed Richards came up with.' Jen explained. 'Kind of a cross between regular glass and adamantium. You'd need a Death Star to get through these babies! Add to that, retinal scans, voice recognition, fingerprints, yadda, yadda, yadda…'

'Wow.' Mary Jane breathed. 'Mister Stark sure knows how to be thorough.'

'It's all a little… overwhelming.' May added. 'But if the baby is to be safe… It will make do.'

'That's the spirit!' Jen grinned. 'Now, I'll leave you guys to get acquainted with your new home, okay? I'll give you a shout when the furniture arrives.'

And with that, Jen left the Parkers to get to know their new home.

Mary Jane was the first to speak.

'Wow. This is just… Wow.'

'And how.' Peter nodded. 'But I can't help but feel a little guilty getting a free apartment. I feel like a freeloader or something.'

'There's really no way to feel that way. It's the least I could do…'

Mary Jane gasped in surprise at the new arrival. It was Tony Stark in all his immaculately dressed Armani-suited glory.

'Okay, the least that I could have done was nothing at all…' Tony continued. 'But enough babbling, I am here to welcome you to Stark Towers. Welcome!'

Mary Jane just stood there agape.

'Does your wife usually act like a crazed fangirl?' Tony asked in a hushed whisper.

'You should have seen her when she met Captain America.' (1) Peter whispered back. 'She was like a kid in a star-spangled candy store.'

Tony just chuckled at that and turned to May.

'And who is this? I didn't know you had a younger sister, Mary Jane.'

May tried to hide her girlish giggle.

'Oh Peter, I had no idea your friends were so charming.'

'Anything for a pretty lady.' Tony smiled charmingly. 'Now, if there is anything you need, don't hesitate to call.'

'Will do.' Peter nodded. 'Are you sure that there isn't anything we could do in return? I feel kinda crappy just mooching off you.'

'Some decent press coverage wouldn't go amiss.' Tony thought out loud. 'Iron Man could do with some official photos. You know, to send out to the fans.'

'Consider it done.' Peter nodded.

'Well, I'd better get going.' Tony said apologetically. 'Cap's wants to introduce the new Captain Britain to us soon.'

'What happened to the old one?' Mary Jane asked.

'Meggan Braddock dropped a car on her.' (2) Tony shrugged.

'I see…' Mary Jane blinked. 'Ask a silly question…'

'I'll see you later, okay?' Tony asked as he politely kissed Mary Jane's hand. 'And you behave yourself, young lady.' Tony told May. 'I don't allow shenanigans in my building.'

Peter and Mary Jane just rolled their eyes at that.


Later-

After the furniture had arrived, been unloaded (Jen was vital for that part) and put away in their appropriate places, Peter and Mary Jane decided to take a look at the view from the roof. May would have gone too, but the excitement of the big move had quite tired her out, so she decided to retire to the bedroom for a nap.

Peter and Mary Jane stepped out of the elevator and gasped at the sight that greeted them. The whole roof was decorated with bunting and balloons. There was even a banner with 'Welcome Parkers' emblazoned on it.

'Enjoy your surprise?' Jen asked as she walked up to the pair. 'This was all Tony's idea by the way.'

'Wow.' Mary Jane nodded. 'Look at all these people… There's Johnny Storm. Matt Murdock. That scary Canadian guy… What's his name? Pine Marten…'

'Wolverine.' Logan corrected as he finished the last of his beer. 'Congrats on yer new home.'

'Geez…' Mary Jane whispered. 'The way you told me, it seemed like the guy could fit in your pocket…'

'MJ…' Peter hissed. 'He can hear you. Shush…'

'Oopsie.' Mary Jane winced. 'Oh look, it's Felicia. I'll go say hi…'

Peter sighed in relief as his wife went to say high to Felicia Hardy, the former cat burglar known as the Black Cat. The fact that Felicia was Peter's ex-girlfriend didn't seem to stop Mary Jane form building a string friendship with her though. Heck, Felicia was one of the baby's godparents so Mary Jane have trusted her.

'That's a nice lady ya got there, Pete.' Logan nodded. 'Yer real lucky.'

'Yeah, I know.' Peter grinned. 'Wait, you're not doing what I think you're doing, are you? Didn't you learn enough from Jean Grey?'

'Pete. I'm over her.' Logan replied. 'Really. I've only got eyes for one woman now.'

'Oh yeah.' Peter nodded. 'Storm. And just where is the fair Ms Monroe?'

'Gone shoppin' with Sage an' Jean.' Logan replied.

'How convenient for you…' Peter said. 'Oh well, enough jibber-jabber, I'd better go schmooze. Ta…'

Logan scratched his head as he watched Peter walk off.

'That is one crazy Spider-Dude…'

Over with Mary Jane and Felicia-

'And then I said, these claws aren't for show so you'd better watch your mouth, and the rest was history.'

'I really don't know why they even bother letting guys like the Shocker out of prison.' Mary Jane chuckled. 'Everybody knows that he'll go straight back in again.'

'And how.' Felicia nodded. 'Enough about me, how's my little goddaughter doing?' Felicia asked as she knelt in front of Mary Jane's bump and began to babble in baby talk. 'Who's a lovely little foetus? You are. Yes, you're a lovely little foetus. Have you thought of a name yet?'

'Can you believe that Peter wanted to call the baby Anakin?' Mary Jane asked. 'I swear, he's become nigh-obsessed after seeing that darn movie.'

'Look at it this way…' Felicia chuckled. 'He could have wanted to call the baby Yoda.'

'Yeah, I guess I'd better think myself lucky.' Mary Jane nodded. 'So, how's this new boyfriend of yours?'

'Felicia has a new boyfriend?' Peter asked as he walked up behind the pair. 'Oooh. Who is it?'

'Simon Williams.' Felicia revealed.

'The Wonder Man, Simon Williams?' Peter asked.

'No, the Herald of Galactus, Simon Williams.' Mary Jane quipped with a roll of her eyes.

'Wonder Man is one of Galactus's Heralds?' Peter blinked in mock disbelief. 'Man, it's always the ones you least suspect.'

'Tiger, I love you but you really have to stop speaking now.' Mary Jane explained. 'The big move has made you all hyper. Why don't you go and sit down?'

'Yes dear…' Peter replied obediently.

'Man, you really have him whipped.' Felicia grinned.

'Only if he's been naughty.' Mary Jane replied with an evil grin. 'Oh wait, you didn't mean that kind of whipped…'

'And just what kind of whipped did you think I meant?' Felicia asked.

'Oh look, there's Captain America…' Mary Jane said, quickly changing the subject. 'Better go say hi…'

TBC…


Next: We're Back!

Venom's back but this time he needs Spider-Man's help. What could possibly make one of Spidey's most feared villains ask for his help? The Hellfire Club, that's who.


Notes-

(1)- Mary Jane met Captain America in Amazing Spider-Man Vol 2 #50. Peter and Cap stopped a bunch of Latverian terrorists from killing Dr Doom in the airport.

(2)- Meggan Braddock dropped a car on Kelsey Leigh in 'Uncanny Excalibur' after Kelsey went nuts and tried to kill Baby Betsy.