"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." – Alfred Lord Tennyson
(Makoto's POV)
Oh my god, calm down! Makoto screamed in his head. He always sat next to Haru in school and didn't think much of it; however, now that Makoto realized his feelings, he felt like he was going to explode. Every time their elbows bumped, shock waves shot up Makoto's arm. Every knee touch and every finger graze sent the same addicting waves straight to Makoto's heart, making it beat fast. He knew he just had to move his arm over a bit so that it wouldn't come into contact with Haru, yet he couldn't stop himself from needing that electrifying feeling to flood his body.
Makoto let his eyes drift to Haru's notebook and noticed a rough sketch of what looked like two figures. He chuckled under his breath, then on the corner of his own notebook, he wrote: "Haru~ have you taken any notes?" He pushed the paper towards Haru, whose eyes seemed to have to un-faze first before focusing. He wrote back.
"I can just copy yours."
"Haruuuuu~! ."
Makoto was slightly annoyed, yet overjoyed at the same time. He was glad that Haru needed him and only him. He felt lips curl up into a bright smile.
Haru's eyes shifted upwards and seemed to glaze over Makoto's chest and arms. Makoto felt his face grow really red. What is Haru doing?! Is he checking me out or something? No way, not possible, right? We're just friends, right? But, then, what was all that earlier? Makoto rubbed his eyes. His brain was hurting from all his racing thoughts. His actions were interrupted by a small nudge. His green eyes fluttered open and he looked towards Haru, who was tapping a pencil expectantly on their note paper.
"Are you okay?" Makoto read the words slowly. Oh god, am I acting strangely? No no no no noooooo…
"Yeah, I'm fine! ^u^" Makoto scribbled down quickly. "Why?" The smaller teen glanced up and scrutinized Makoto's face, which once again rushed red. Haru turned back to the paper.
"You haven't written any notes…"
"OH NO!" Haru jumped back in his seat.
"Is everything alright, Tachibana-san?" Makoto felt his body go cold as the words reached his ears. Oh no, did I shout that outloud…?
"S-s-s-sorry S-sensei! I-I'm f-f-fine now! Ahahaha~" The whole class joined in with Makoto's laughter after seeing how flustered he was. He even saw Haru stifle a smile behind his hand, which was pretty rare.
"Well, alright then. So here, x would equal…" Class resumed as normal. Well, at least I have an excuse as to why I'm blushing now… Makoto thought with a sheepish smile. Thankfully, the day went on without any more interruptions – that is, until lunchtime.
(Haru's POV)
Haru was worried about Makoto. At Haru's place, Makoto seemed nervous, which was really cute, but now he appeared to be completely out of it. It was completely unlike the boy to not take notes during class. Not only that, but he started dozing off as well. If I didn't nudge him, would he have fallen asleep? Is he feeling okay? Haru's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bell. It was lunchtime.
Haru turned in his seat and opened his mouth to speak to Makoto, but before he could say anything, he spotted burgundy hair at the doorway.
"H…Haruka-senpai!" a female voice called out. Both Makoto and Haru jumped in their seats. It was Kou.
Haru hesitated. He wanted to talk to Kou about Makoto, but at the same time, he wanted to stay with the brunette, especially since he didn't seem well. If he stayed with Makoto, would he indirectly be declaring war on Kou? Wait, why is she calling ME out though? Why not Makoto? Haru felt uncomfortable stares from all of his classmates. They're probably wondering the same thing as me…if I stay here, I'll just attract attention to the three of us. Without saying a word, Haru stood up and walked over to Kou. As he left his seat, he glanced over at Makoto, who had confusion written all over his face.
Don't worry, Makoto, Haru thought. I'll be coming for you soon.
(Makoto's POV)
Makoto sat in complete shock. What just happened?
"Tachibana-san!" Makoto turned when his name was called. It was Hikaru Suzuki again. "Why did your girlfriend call out Nanase-san?"
Right. That's what happened.
Makoto forced a smile. "Kou isn't my girlfriend anymore."
Hikaru gaped. "Wait…WHAT? Since when?"
"Since yesterday," he stated, trying his hardest to keep a grin on his face. Everyone in the class stirred. They began to mumble things to each other.
"And she's calling out another guy already?" Makoto heard a girl whisper. "What a slut."
"It's not like that." The words etched their way through his gritted teeth as he turned towards the girl. "Kou-chan isn't like that. Besides, she's not calling out "another guy," she's calling out Haru."
"Nanase-san is still a guy though…" Hikaru commented, trying to help the girl, who was tearing up because of the attention she drew. Makoto tightened his hands into fists. What do they know? They don't know him like I do.
"No," Makoto said loudly. "Haru isn't just "another guy". Haru is different. Haru is special. Haru is…" Makoto looked around and noticed the shock on his classmates' faces. He placed a hand over his mouth. His smile was gone. He was losing his calm. This is not good, Makoto, not good. Makoto slowly slid his hand off his face and revealed a new, bigger, faker smile. He forced a laugh.
"Sorry about that, I'm not feeling very well today. Hahaha…"
"Want me to bring you to the nurse?" Asked Suzuki, genuinely concerned.
"No, it's alright, I can go by myself," Makoto replied politely, then walked out the room.
As soon as the door shut behind him, Makoto's smile fell. Why did Haru go off with Kou? Why don't I know anything about this? Why didn't he tell me anything? Makoto felt something painful in his chest. His brain was throbbing as well. Though he knew he would feel guilty afterwards, Makoto followed his instincts.
Now, where did they go?
(Kou's POV)
Kou followed silently behind Haruka-senpai. After she called him out, he told her to follow him, but since then he hadn't said a word. He seemed pretty calm. Then again, this is Haruka-senpai, so you can never really tell what he's thinking.
Haruka pulled a door open. Kou snapped out of her daze and looked around – they were at his art studio. She felt her heart skip a beat. I'm going to be alone with Haruka-senpai?! In his art studio? Her face flushed red as she imagined a slew of situations that could (but would probably never) happen. But…wait. Why did he choose a private spot? Kou felt her body go cold as the thought hit her. What if he knows what I…
"Kou-chan."
Kou froze. Haruka's voice pierced through the jumbling thoughts in her mind. She looked up at his face and saw his deep blue eyes staring intently at her. She blushed.
"Um, well, I called you out because…" She started softly, twirling her hair around her finger.
"Is it about my secret?" Haruka interrupted.
"Huh?" Kou knitted her brows in confusion. Oh, is he talking about what happened on the roof a while ago…?
...
"Haruka-sempai, what's wrong? You've been glaring for a long time." She tilted her head slightly and pouted.
"It's nothing…" He replied, inching back a little. Kou moved forward.
"Haruka-sempai… do you not like me?" Her eyes started to water. She didn't know what she would do if Haruka hated her. The mere thought made her want to cry.
"No…it's not that… it's not you…" He muttered and inched further back. Kou brightened up a bit. She was glad to know that she wasn't hated, yet she was still curious as to why he was glaring. Then, an idea hit her. Kou leaned forward.
"Are you…jealous?"
Haruka froze. His face was expressionless, but his eyes flickered for a moment. Kou's mind was racing. He was jealous of her (and Makoto, but still!)! For once in her life, she managed to capture his attention. Who would have thought that Haruka wanted a girlfriend of his own? Kou started giggling as she imagined the two of them together.
"Don't worry, I won't tell Makoto-kun. You can trust me."
...
That must be the secret, Kou thought. But why would I want to talk about that? It's nothing major…
"Well, no, it's not about your secret," Kou started. She noticed Haruka's eyes flicker. Is he losing interest?
"Don't worry though!" She exclaimed quickly, trying to keep his attention. "I haven't told Makoto-kun anything! Though there really isn't any reason to be jealous anymore, since…"
"Since what?" Haruka-senpai interjected, suddenly alert.
"Since we broke up." Kou finished.
"When was this?" Wow, I've never seen him this animated before about something other than water.
"Yesterday."
"Is that why Makoto's acting weird?" Haruka asked.
"Huh? I don't think so…? I mean, it wasn't an emotional break up or anything. We didn't even li…" Kou stopped midsentence. She was getting off track. "I don't really want to get into this right now."
"Why did you call me out then?" Haruka-senpai asked. Though he was as expressionless as ever, Kou sensed a hint of confusion.
"Well, because… Makoto and I only went out because he was nice enough to try and help me forget about my long time crush, but it didn't really work out and he didn't like me either and…" Kou rambled on, unsure of what she was even saying.
"And…?" The blue-eyed boy interrupted, staring intently at her face. She could feel her palms start to sweat. Her heart was beating fast. She gulped down some air and tightened her hands into fists.
"I like you, Haruka-senpai!"
(Haru's POV)
What? Haru's eyes widened in surprise. Why? Since when?
"I've liked you ever since we were little, ever since you and Rin first became friends. When Rin left, I no longer had any way or reason to see you, and I was heartbroken. I thought about you all the time, wondered how you were doing, if you still loved water, how you were coping without Rin… I thought I finally moved on when I entered high school, but then I met you again. I saw everything you went through, created good memories with you, and watched as you helped bring Nii-chan back to his old self. I experienced all this and… and I fell in love all over again."
Haru was silent. She answered all his questions as though she read his mind. Now, Haru was just trying to process everything.
"I know this is sudden, and I know it's strange to say this all now, especially right after Makoto-kun and I broke up, but I couldn't hold it in any longer. I was ready to give up, but then the incident on the roof happened, and it brought my hopes up again." After saying the last sentence, Kou laughed softly. Haru could tell she was really nervous, yet she seemed calmer and relieved now that she confessed. But it didn't make sense.
"Why would that bring your hopes up?" Haru asked. Kou paused.
"You were jealous of Makoto and I, right? Because we were always doing couple-y things and were really close? Didn't that make you want a girlfriend of your own?"
…no way. She misunderstood? She never actually knew about my feelings? What? Haru brought his hand to his face and began to rub his eyes. He felt stupid for misunderstanding Kou, guilty for not realizing she liked him, and horrible for the way he acted towards her these past couple of months. She mustered up all her strength to confess to him, something he couldn't manage to do. She must have been nervous and scared. She must have experienced so much pain because of him, the same kind of pain he had felt because of Makoto. How did this happen…
The two of them stood in an uncomfortable silence. Haru had no idea what to say, yet he knew what she was feeling and what she experienced. What would I want if I were in her place?
"…I'm sorry," Haru said softly, finally breaking the intense air. He gulped, tightened his hands into fists, and took a step towards Kou. He saw her tense up. Haru closed his eyes, lifted his arms, and wrapped them around Kou. He felt her body tighten up, then relax in his arms. Haru was never big on physical contact, but he knew that if it were him, he would want Makoto to hug him, to assure him that everything would be okay.
"I…I can't return your feelings, Kou-chan. Thank you for liking me though."
He felt something wet fall onto his shirt. Haru closed his eyes. What would Makoto do? He brought one of his hands up and patted her head softly.
"It's okay… you're a nice person, Kou-chan, you'll find someone better."
Kou brought her hands to her face and wiped her eyes, then stepped out of Haru's embrace. She looked up at him with teary eyes, yet she was smiling.
"Thank you, Haruka-senpai." Haru thought heard a small click echo through the room. He turned his head to look around, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Kou started giggling.
"You're being so…unlike yourself right now," she said as she wiped her eye again. "It's a little weird, but it isn't bad." She smiled again.
"Oh…" Haru felt a light blush coming on. "Well, I was trying to do what I would want the person I like to do if I confessed…"
"Oh…" Kou said as she glanced to the floor. "You like someone already…"
"Uh…yeah…I mean…I actually thought you knew before, but then you actually misunderstood, and…" Haru started fiddling with his hands, trying to hide his embarrassment.
"What did I misunderstand….?"
"…." Haru stood quietly for a moment, then turned his head away from Kou and muttered something.
"What?" She asked.
"…I'm gay."
The room was silent. Haru peeked over at Kou. At first, her eyes widened in shock, then she knitted her eyebrows as she thought, then her eyes widened again.
"Oh…" was all she managed to let out. "…you're in love with Makoto-kun."
(Makoto's POV)
Makoto saw it.
They were in the art studio.
They were alone in Haru's art studio.
Makoto heard voices, but he couldn't make out the words. The door was slightly ajar when he got there, so he took a peek.
He saw Haru walk over and hug Kou.
Haruka Nanase hugged a girl.
That was the last thing he could ever imagine Haru doing. And Haru was the last person he could imagine Kou loving. It wasn't that Haru was bad or anything, it's just that Makoto couldn't imagine Haru being in a relationship with anyone.
That is, he couldn't imagine Haru being with anyone but himself.
Haru's always with me, Haru does everything with me, Haru tells everything to me. So why was he hugging Kou? Why didn't Makoto hear anything about that? And why was their goddamn hug lasting so long?
As soon as the embrace ended, he shut the door and ran.
Makoto ran away, as far as he could. He ran down the hall, down the stairs, out the door. He ran and ran, not thinking about where he was going. When he finally stopped, he took in his surroundings.
He was at the pool.
Water. Haru loves water. Haru…
Makoto fell to his knees. He felt his blood boiling, his head throbbing, his heart aching. He felt betrayed.
Makoto grabbed his head and screamed.
Haru, I thought you were mine.
YES I FINALLY UPDATED! *fireworks shoot off in the background* AHHHH I FEEL SO GREAT. I'm sorry for making you all wait... hope you liked it! please follow/favorite/leave a review!
Also, to anyone taking the time to read this: I'm so happy about Free! Eternal Summer! I'm probably not going to include the second season in this fanfic just for continuity purposes but, STILL. AHHHH SO GREAT! I'm really sad though because I watch it on crunchyroll, but I always have to wait a week after an episode is aired to watch it! Are there any sites that you guys recommend? If so, PM me please! :D I'd greatly appreciate it!
Also, if yall wanna be nice, follow me on tumblr? :3 ehehehehehe love you all
see you next water time! :D
