HAKU
"I'm so glad you finally came!" Satako sighed, "I wasn't going to be able to see you anymore because they took the mass out."
Still standing in the doorway Haku stared at the human child.
Not a word that came from her mouth made sense.
Pressing a button on the railing, Satako continued to beam as the back to the bed lifted her up with a slow mechanical whir. She laughed with weak exuberance and her dark eyes studied them intently as if she could not look enough.
"But I can see you! I can still see you!"
Although again and again her gaze circled back to fix on him with such unnerving acuity that Haku could not help but take a step back, which was difficult because Cinna was crouched in his shadow. With bristled tail, pricked and swiveling ears, every hair on the cat's body as standing up. She cat was peering around the back of his knees, looking askance at the child with dilated red eyes.
"You're Haku, aren't you?" She pronounced his name with awe.
The fact that she knew him stunned Haku to silence. As he gaped inelegantly the girl giggled, clicking on a light and reaching for something on the tray beside her only to make a disappointed moue as she found it missing.
"Rats… Mom took my pencils again." Satako heaved a persevering sigh, "She keeps doin' that."
"H-how do you know me?" Haku stammered once he remembered his voice, because he was quite sure they had never before met. And he went perfectly still as Satako frowned, peering at him critically.
"You look a lot like the way Miyazaki drew you just older and maybe a little less, um… girly. I dunno why he makes all his guys so girly. Howl was pretty girly too and so was the Navel Wizard from Ponyo… I can't remember his name…"
Haku frowned indignantly, "Girly!?"
The cat snickered, stepping around him into the room before he could purposefully step on her tail. Already she was snooping about.
"You're Cinna," Satako struggled to look over the railing, "Onsen told me all about you. Maybe someday I can see you dance?"
Again she laughed as the cat went bolt still, nervously glancing from the corner of her eyes as she crept backwards behind the curtain, craning her neck to see around the beeping equipment taped and tacked to the little girl's arm and chest.
"Um…?" Here Satako looked back at Tomoe. Her brow furrowed, "You look really familiar but I don't think I've ever met you. I really hope I didn't forget you. I forget all kinds of important things because of this."
She lifted her hand to motion at the scar.
"You… You see me?" Tomoe was shocked because he was barely visible.
"Of course I can see you," she laughed happily, "And I'm so glad I can!"
At a loss for what else to go, Haku reached inside his robes and withdrew the sketchbook. He shivered upon crossing the threshold. The smell of pain intensified as he approached the child's bed.
"This belongs to you."
"Where's you get that!?" Her face lit up as she took the book from his hands, "I let Chihiro borrow it. Look, I drew her right before I went, see?"
She flipped through the pages to the picture of Chihiro wearing the phoenix mask, turning it to the side so Cinna could see as she curiously surfaced on the opposite side of the human child's bed. Haku glanced with an obliging nod as she turned the image on him. It was a shock and he did not look long. Looking brought a painful lump to the top of his throat. Hastily he turned away, blinking rapidly as he struggled to hold back the tears. He failed and was forced to hastily wipe them on his sleeves.
"I'm sorry." Haku glanced back only to find Satako was staring at him with such an openly apologetic expression, "I didn't mean to make you sad."
Hastily he was forced to find the chair beside her bed before the weight of sorrow pressing on his shoulder sent him to a seat on the floor.
"There is no need to apologize," he answered quietly.
"Cun aye see?" Cinna asked hopefully, reaching for the book.
Satako gave it to the cat with an eager nod, watching with rapt attention as the kami retreated back to Tomoe. She and the ghost flipped through the pages together with eye-widened awe. All too quickly the human girl's eyes returned to him and Haku could not meet her gaze. She was the same age as Chihiro had been when she wandered between the worlds and back into his life. It was no wonder Onsen had formed such an attachment to the girl. She looked in the same way as Chihiro: deeply. Already Haku found himself under the spell of her sincerity. It exerted a pull he could not ignore.
"It wasn't an earthquake," Satako found the truth in his face as if he could be read, "Hide didn't really die, did he?"
Haku could only nod, swallowing with difficulty. He did not like to hear that name! The male's sacrifice was a weight that hung around his neck like a mountain. Haku could never repay what the male had given him. Once again he stared at the white tiled floor bracing his elbows on weak human knees feeling like he might pitch forward. And again he missed his tail and the balance it offered. Without it and the strength of his long lost four legs it was no wonder he did not fell more often than he already did.
"What happened?"
Until this moment Satako had given the impression of boundless strength. Indeed, she seemed to glow with a vitality that was at odds with her obvious ill health. Haku stared at her from the corners of his eyes, for it was as if someone had poured into her a well of endless life. But she dampened in this moment genuinely afraid. He glanced away as it was his turn to explain.
"Chihiro has been cursed with sleep. She remembers nothing of us."
"Oh… Kinda like sleeping beauty, huh?" Satako's eyes were startlingly familiar as they lifted, pinning him in place, "You can wake her up, right?"
Haku nodded, hoping that was not a lie.
"But first I must find her."
"Oh, that's easy," Again she was beaming, "I can tell you right where she is."
Blinking rapidly, he was so utterly stunned by the child's pronouncement Haku once again forgot how to speak. Much to his relief she launched into an unprompted explanation that seemed to stretch on into forever.
"Chihiro's working on a new version of her book. It's a special illustrated edition. She wants us kids to draw the illustrations," Satako pointed at the drawings plastered on the inside of he curtain. Only now did he see and recognize the images from her story, "I saw her yesterday when dad brought her through our wing on a tour. She didn't recognize me at all. I was really worried because I read on the net about the earthquake and how Hidé died. I cried so hard when I found out that mom called the doctors and they made me sleep a bunch. So I wasn't all that surprised when Chihiro didn't recognize me because the tabloids mom reads won't stop talking about her amnesia. But I didn't know she forgot you too."
Sorting through all the rushing words, Haku held fast to one thing.
"Satako, you know where Chihiro is?"
"You can call me Saka-chan, everyone else does even though I don't like it." She reached up to scratch the shaved side of her head only to stop and put down her hand, "I don't have the exact address but she lives in Aoyama, which is pretty much right next door. I bet we could get it from my Dad. He's helping coordinate the project."
Haku was on his feet, startling the child. "What did you say?!"
"That my dad probably has her address," she was gaping up at him, "Wow, you're really tall."
"No," He hushed, "You said that Chihiro is next door…"
"Kinda," Satako grinned, "The Ginza Ward is right next to the Aoyama Ward."
Haku stared blankly. "Ginza?"
"You know…" She circled her hands, "In Tokyo?"
At once he was at the windows forcing the blinds open. Stumbling back, Haku almost fell. He was forced to cling to the end of Satako's bed as the wind of his disquiet blew through the room, making the curtains waft and clink on their runner. And the rail beneath his hands creaked and shuddered as he squeezed within inches of crushing it; because what he saw beyond the glass was pure madness.
"Whoa!" The human laughed, managing to sit up and clap her hands as her face lit up with delight, "You're crazy fast! You even made it windy! That's so cool!"
Haku jumped as Cinna appeared at his elbow handing the sketchbook back to the Satako. The cat pressed her cold body against his side and the contact was comforting. It helped still the panic chasing through the room in gentle eddying gusts.
"I did not believe you until just now," Haku choked hoarsely, "I did not know such a world was possible."
He clenched his eyes, trying to blot from his memory the blinding miles of harsh gray metal and concrete that covered every inch of green and brown earth until the towering monstrous structures blocked out the sky and swallow the sea. As dawn touched the cold synthetic world outside he found it held no color, only rushing cars, roaring trains, and whining plans that glared into the dark with the caustic light of their glowing electric eyes. At once his heart was thundering inside his tiny chest so swiftly he went light headed with dread.
"Um… Y-you okay?"
He opened his eyes only to find the human girl regarding him with such worry he could not help but reach to reassure her, touching one of her feet. It was ever so tiny beneath his hand. And how this precious little flower had come to bloom in such a terrible place he would never know.
"I am fine," he lied for her sake, "I… I have never before seen Tokyo."
"It's a little overwhelming, huh? You get used to it," Casting her eyes to Tomoe, she beckoned to the ghost, "Its okay, you can come in. On your way could you bring me that can of pencils? I'd really like to draw you if that's okay?"
"As you wish, Satako…"
Haku once again found the seat beside her bed and not so she could sketch.
Suddenly he could no longer stand.
For it was not fine. Nothing was going to be fine ever again.
LIN
Lin opened her eyes not long after closing them.
It was raining again and the gentle precipitation drummed on the side of the wall with a persistence that was soothingly familiar in the dark. Exhausted from the days work and Lin could barely move. But as if dreaming her mind turned forward through the tides of time. Because in another month the rain would become snow; their children would be born into a world covered by white.
Though he hadn't made a sound she knew he was there.
In a smooth motion Suzume slid beneath the covers beside her. She opened her arms and he pillowed his head on her bicep, at once burrowing into her chest. Lin breathed in the spicy camphor smell permeating his hair, the same delicious smell rose from Suzume's silky bare skin. Tucking his head under her chin, she wrapped her only arm around his shoulders with a contented sigh as he placed his hands on her growing stomach as he always did. But the peace of being in bed with her mate proved short lived; because the fox did not sleep. She could feel his thoughts rattling as Suzume wandered his mind like a blind man trapped in a furniture store. In spite of his even breathing his body was rigid with whatever worries kept him from rest.
"You think hard for so late an hour." She nuzzled the crown of his head.
"I was in town," Suzume murmured, turning his cheek against the bare skin exposed at the front of her robe, "There was an article about her."
By her he meant Sen. He never used Sen's name. It was something else that baffled Lin.
"She is healthy. Her project goes well," he continued clinically, "The children draw beautiful pictures. They printed one in color and it was good. They draw the Gods as if they have truly seen them. I shall ask Amano to find the paper so I may show you."
As he spoke his handsome soaked with sorrow. The distance weighted on him just as did not knowing weighed on her. Quickly Suzume changed the subject, trying to outrun the catch in his voice.
"I also spoke at length with Keiichi."
There was no use trying to divine any outcome involving the priest.
"And?"
"Slowly he reconsiders himself," Suzume produced a gusty sigh that left him heavier against her arm, "I am confident Keiichi will soon allow Ikiri home."
"He had better," Lin grumbled, "Kiri's pretty much put everything on hold until that idiot comes around. I have it in my minds to pay the priest a visit."
"He does not respond to female pressure, beloved."
"Oh, he doesn't, does he?" Lin squirmed irritably, "Between me and Nani I think we can help him make up his mind."
"That would not be prudent," Here the fox grew quiet, "The twins have been at odds since birth. Though Keiichi loves his sister, he also envies Ikiri the freedom she has taken for herself. In many ways he wishes to be more like her, but principle prevents him from doing so."
"He has no right to punish his sister for being who she is." Lin gritted between her teeth. "I have no sympathy for him."
"Neither is blameless," Suzume interjected, struggling to keep his words even, "I do not advocate for either as both have committed grave and selfish transgressions."
Lin very much wanted to argue. Unfortunately he was right and that made her even more disagreeable. But the fox caught her off guard with his next words, making her fall silent.
"May I divulge a secret that will perhaps temper your judgment of the priest?"
She frowned, mastering her irritation as curiosity got the better of her, "Fine."
"Keiichi has loved Naniko since they were children."
Lin jerked back so she could look Suzume in the face.
"W-what?!"
Regarding her for a moment with solemn gold eyes the fox rolled onto his back. Suzume's reflective eyes gazed through the ceiling; as if piercing the rain, they seemed to see through the clouds all the way up to the stars.
"Naniko was maiden at the village temple alongside Ikiri. She and Keiichi were together almost every day of their lives. The temple appointment is hereditary so priests must marry in order to produce heirs. Keiichi hoped to marry Naniko. He applied himself to his studies ardently that he might obtain priesthood sooner so his offer would be more agreeable to Naniko's parents. Unfortunately he never shared his feelings with Naniko. Unaware of his feelings, while he was at work she chose another."
"Loss has stripped Keiichi of belief. Bitterness causes him to turn a blind eye on the worlds just as it is bitterness that causes him to turn Ikiri away. Strange that he fears to loose his sister as he lost Naniko; and yet he is the one whom has abandoned Ikiri. I hear him, Hayashimi, but I do not understand him. This makes it difficult for me to help him. And so I must ask you to be patient, beloved. I strive similarly."
Stunned, Lin could only stare as again Suzume sighed heavily. Rolling onto her back beside him, she looked overhead, trying to see stars and only succeeding in seeing ceiling.
"What a mess," she muttered, finding herself at a loss.
"Indeed," Suzume laced roughly scarred fingers through hers, "How is Ikiri?"
Lin went perfectly still. It was the first time she could ever recall the fox asking about the former temple maiden. She could give a simple answer but it would not have been the whole truth. The shadow remained inside Kiri. Lin did not understand why she could see it and not the others, for no one else mentioned it. Regardless of how many times she'd sent the human to the camphor baths it did not darken nor did it fade.
"What is it?" Suzume had turned on his side, regarding her with a furrowed brow.
Shit! Turning away Lin put her hand to her mouth and chewed her thumbnail. She'd already betrayed herself with silence.
"Tell me what is wrong, Hayashimi."
Sitting up over her Suzume gently turned her face with his hands, pinning her in place with his gold gaze. It was hard to think about anything when he was bent over her bare chested and beautiful as he was. But she could not lie as Suzume took her hand from her mouth. He was trying to be patient but he was also growing more and more apprehensive until she panicked and blurted an entirely different truth.
"I'm afraid of what you'll do," She admitted nervously, "You're… difficult to reason with when angry."
Suzume blinked, sitting back as if stunned. Through the gloom Lin clearly saw the storm clouds turn his gold eyes dark with melancholy. Turning away he hid his deeply furrow face in a fall of ebony hair.
"This I know," here he hesitated, "But, I… I knew not that it troubled you so, nor did I know it gave you cause to fear."
Regret seared her insides; because it was more than clear that her hasty words had hurt him deeply. Sitting up with difficulty because her belly was getting quite big these days, she pulled Suzume toward her. The fox resisted, but she succeeded in wrapping her arm around his waist until her cheek was resting between his bunched shoulders. He remained tense even as she buried her face in his silky hair.
"M'not afraid of you," Lin leaned on him heavily.
"And the others?" He pressed in a troubled hush.
"I… I can't lie to you, Suzume: fire warms but it also burns," Lin returned as gently as she could, "The others are getting used to you, but Amano and Kiri are pretty much terrified of you."
She could feel him coiling tighter and tighter beneath her hands. Oh, she was making an absolute mess out of this one!
"I…" His voice broke, "I do not know how to be anything other than what I am, Hiyashimi…"
"I know. Anger comes quick because it is easy. I'm just as guilty of this. But for you and those we keep I am trying to learn otherwise. There are fragile things under this roof, Suzume. It's hard, but we must learn to tend them gently as much for them as for ourselves, especially if there are to be children in this house."
"You are right," He shook himself, sounding more center, "I will try, beloved."
"Don't try, Suzume. I need you to start now because I have to tell you something. Listen and be calm," Lin took a deep breath, "There is a shadow inside Kiri."
He jerked violently, but this she had been expecting. Once again she proved herself stronger as she yanked him backwards and pinned him onto the futon.
"I have failed!" He choked.
Again with the failure!?
That song was getting so old it no longer held tune!
It pissed her off to no end!
At once furious, Lin forgot her own advice.
"What will it take to get you to forgive yourself, you stupid, stupid fox?!" Lin threw at him in frustration, "You did all you could and that is better than enough! O-Inari-sama sees this, I know she does!"
"You know nothing, Hiyashimi!" He bit back furiously, "You know nothing of the burdens of guilt I carry!"
Lin was taken aback by the fear and fury burning in his eyes. The fire had always been there since the moment she first met him. How the avatar of O-Inari-sama, Goddess of healing and abundance, could harbor such blind wrath was beyond Lin. It was an incongruity she couldn't ignore anymore.
"Then explain to me, Suzume!" Once again she threw him back against the floor as the fox fought to free himself, "Because I don't understand you!"
"I am a God!" He snarled back furiously, "Yet I do not see, just as I do not hear! What good am I?! What good am I if in all my meagerness those I am bound to serve are stolen away or killed!?"
Utterly stricken the fox slumped against the floor, staring through her. But now he gripped her wrist to the point of pain, clinging now instead of struggling, pulling her down to him as if afraid she might run.
"Why does my Goddess no longer hear me?" He hushed in a small terrified voice, searching her face as if desperate to find an answer, "Am I so wicked that she has forsaken me and those I love?"
Stunned, Lin could only stare as the room darkened beneath the weight of his sorrow. Thunder boomed overhead as the rain intensified, hammering on the side of the house as flashes of light cut the gloom like knives. She flinched as things moved in the gloom, suddenly finding herself perched on the edge of panic. Because if this continued the fox was going to loose himself to the suffering he was letting run rampant inside himself. It would devour him whole and make him forget himself, turning him into something else entirely, something unspeakable.
Lin wouldn't let it have him. He belonged to her and no one else.
Running her hand beneath his neck Lin hauled the God up into a kiss. Rough, fierce; his lips burned against hers with a heat that could have set fire to anything else. But a stone could easily sit in the midst of flame. She might char a bit around the edges, but she could not burn. Suzume's hands surged into her hair, pulling so hard it brought tears to her eyes. But there was passion in him now, a hot kind of fervor that transformed his vehemence into something else entirely.
Shocked sent her sprawling as her back hit the futon; because he was on top of her, pinning her down. Lin gasped as Suzume buried his face in her neck, mouthing the exposed skin. Sensuously the fox growled low in his throat as his hands roved inside her kimono, kneading and squeezing before slowly dragging sharp claws down her sides. Then he bit her neck. Her second gasp transformed to a moan, sending her arching up against him as his burning mouth moved, find her breast. Lin cried out as he bit her again, hard enough to send firecrackers of deliciously pleasurable pain exploding behind her eyes.
She gasped again as he ripped her robe open only to grind against her naked body with raw animalistic intensity. In the times before Suzume has never been like this. Usually reticent and prim in their lovemaking, this was a side of her mate she'd never before seen. Oh, and how she wanted him! Suzume was perhaps worried about injuring her and the kits so it had been a long time since they had mated. Too long! Not since the time she'd left him to answer the telephone. And no such taboo need be observed.
Lust surged through Lin's veins; touching a primal chord deep in her instincts that had not been touched in centuries. He yipped as she sank her teeth into the meat of his bicep, making her chuckle huskily. Growling and humming as they rolled and grappled with each other, leaving the futon behind until he once again had her pinned. Lin planted her feet firmly on the floor and pushed with her long legs until the boards creaked, throwing herself up against him.
Thunder boomed, charging the air as the foxfires appeared.
They pulsed red and ruddy as static hummed in every inch of her skin.
And she went absolutely rigid with pleasure as his burning hands delved deeply between them. Suzume claimed her mouth, catching her shout of pleasure as his. And she let him have all that she was; because she belonged to him just as he belonged to her. As his hands gripped her flanks so firmly his nails bit through her skin he sank deep inside her. In that moment they were one: mind and soul. There was no hiding in the blinding light of union. There was no such thing as loneliness or suffering.
There was only love.
Panting and exhausted, Lin returned to physicality only to find herself boneless with satisfaction. It was dark as the foxfires had extinguished. And her foot was propped on the edge of the table, which she had shoved against the wall so firmly she'd snapped off the corner. Lin hummed happily, massaging her hand across Suzume's bare shoulders. The fox was collapsed on top of her. His naked skin was slick and smooth against her belly. And she could feel the quick tempo of his heart through her ribs. Their long hair was a tangled mess, pinned between the both of them as if they'd tried to cocoon each other only to fail.
"I am sorry!" Suzume gasped as he stirred but had no more luck moving than she, "I… I do not know what came over me!"
Remorselessly Lin thumped him on the back of his head.
"Ow!"
Suzume's head jerked up as his gold eyes flashed angrily. But the look faded to surprise as lithely Lin rolled him onto his back, following, tossing back her hair as she was at once straddling him.
"Don't apologize," she commanded smolderingly, sinking low over him as she drew her fingers across his open mouth, "And don't you dare hold back anymore. I want you, do you hear me fox? I want all of you!"
Then he was staring at her, looking up at her with that expression of boundless affection that made the stone within her turn weak. For a moment the storm inside him passed. Determined to try and send it away forever she lowered herself father still, ready to take his lips for hers once more.
Then one of the kits kicked.
Suzume went stock still as his gold eye flew wide. At once his blackened hands were on her rounded belly as she sat back, trying to make room for them as they struggled inside her bent body.
"Oooff!" Lin laughed moving his palm to the other side as the second began kicking, "I think they are angry with us for waking them."
Suzume's elation lit up the entire room as one of the younglings kicked right where his hand was pressed. He laughed exuberantly.
"Do you feel that?" The fox hushed in awe.
Lin snorted, pulling on his arm as she stood, pushing him towards the shambles of the futon, "I do… And like the kits I also want to sleep."
Climbing beneath the covers, Suzume held his arms open for her this time. After long moments of holding her close the kits ceased to kick. Breathing in his spicy musk, Lin tried not to think about how she would wake to find him gone. Closing her eyes, she tried to forget that there was such a thing as morning. Instead she listened to the sound of his heart as he stroked her hair, lulling her closer and closer to the edge of sleep until she drifted over the edge into dreams of snow.
Lin jerked awake as the floor beneath the futon shuddered and quaked. Onsen had flooded the tiny room with such cries of alarm that the entire God Wing shook beneath the power of her disquiet. At once the house flooded her groggy head with the reason for her alarm.
Something had crossed!
There was a stranger was in Sen's room!
Unfortunately Onsen told Suzume the exact same thing.
Foxfires erupted to life, filling her room with furiously burning light.
"Suzume, no!" Lin shouted, struggling to hold him.
But he ripped away, throwing himself from the bed.
Her door shattered as the slider ripped from its ruts.
And there was no time to hide, no time to change.
Lin was out into the common room shouting orders at the bath house kami as the Yuna spilled from Natsumi's room and the frogs came thundering up the stairs. In the fraction of a second she saw their blank looks of surprise as they took in her pronounced belly. It showed quite clearly from beneath the loose obi holding her sleeping kimono closed. But there was no time to explain.
"Stay here!" She commanded sharply.
Then she ran. Blurring across the covered bridge onto the second floor of the original house, Lin came up short behind Reika. Disheveled with sleep the old woman was in the doorway to Sen's room, hovering uncertainly on the threshold.
"Give me your name stranger!?" Suzume snarled from inside.
"Don't shout! You'll wake the guests!" Mrs. Nikkou hissed angrily before taking notice of her, "Lin! Thank O-Inari-sama you're here! He won't obey me anymore! Get that idiot off the poor thing before he does something stupid!"
Lin took one look over the old woman's head and shoved her way inside because this was serious. A rabbit was supplicating on the floor at Suzume's feet. How the kami had gotten into the house was beyond Lin. Though she wore her mask and held a flashing silver knife a single glance was all it took to realize the poor creature was harmless. A second glance was all Lin needed to understand why the rabbit couldn't answer; she didn't have a name to give the fox.
But Suzume didn't see that. No more than a few hours after chasing it away the storm was back and blowing inside him. The fox loomed over the creature in all his blazing fury with foxfires orbiting his head in a wild sizzling mess. He had backed her into a corner and the rabbits eyes were all whites, unseeing with terror. Lin recoiled with a gasp a one of the foxfires clipped her shoulder. She slapped at the curling tongue that lifted from blackening the fabric, extinguishing the fire before dodging another burning globe as it grazed the top of her head.
Thunder boomed as the fox shouted at the rabbit, "You will answer me!"
"Suzume!" Lin shouted, recoiling from another orb, "Suzume!"
But he didn't hear her. He didn't see her.
Panic coiled around her heart like threads of ice as he reached for the rabbit. Suzume had hurt her once when he was all worked up like this. She was not about to see him hurt another. Stepping between seconds Lin careened through the orbiting foxfires and grabbed the fox's arm, hauling him back before he could reach the intruding kami.
She didn't expect him to react as he did.
Lin caught air as he threw her off. Her back hit the wall so hard it shattered inward. Momentarily pain robbed her of sight. But wrath returned it just as swiftly making the world sharp and bright. And the world snapped into focus with such clarity Lin moved without thinking, moved so quickly her body outran her ability to think.
Lin backhanded Suzume with her only fist. Hit him so hard she sent him sprawling to the floor.
At once the foxfires went still, frozen throughout the room. Blind with rage she reached for her sword only to find it wasn't there. Instead she lifted her hand to hit him again, coming up short as he flinched back. His face wiped with horror as he saw her for the first time and realized what he had just done.
Lin stopped herself short of hitting him again. But barely, just barely. Because there was blood on his face.
Lin stared at the red. There was blood the mouth she had kissed less than hours ago. It was his blood, spilled by her hand. Her heart shattered into a thousand pieces as she stared down at him. He had not seen her. He had not heard her. He had not meant to hurt her. But she had intentionally made him bleed! But she was still so very angry. It poisoned her, turning shards of her heart turned to stone, making her cruel.
"Now you have failed!"
She spat the words into his Suzume's face without a shred of mercy. Whirling away, plucking the knife from the sobbing rabbit's hands, Lin bit the blade between her teeth and hauled the compliant creature off the floor. Shoving by Mrs. Nikkou, she half carried the rabbit from the room and down the back stairs into the kitchen. Rain was pouring down outside so violently it vibrated the floors. And Lin didn't care if the guests had heard their row, she was sick of pleasing humans. Like the never had fights!
Onsen filled the hearth with bright white fire, sending the shadows shifting eerily as she jittered round the rafters nervously. The house was still unsure of what to make of the still sobbing rabbit. The kami tucked up her knees and curled into a ball the moment Lin sat her in the nook. Her soft fur was a creamy brown and her long ears were tied back under a sensible orange head scarf that was out of character with her tacky scandalously short red kimono. It showed off way too much of her shapely long legs and tiny feet. Lin wrinkled her nose because the bunny stank of terror and stale beer.
Taking the blade from her teeth, she stared at the rabbit and envied her.
This was exactly what Lin wanted to do: curl into a ball and sob her eyes out. Because what she said to Suzume was only now beginning to sink in. She might as well have stabbed him in the heart. And for a moment there didn't seem to be enough air in the room. She couldn't breathe for all the terrible regret that swelled inside her heart until there wasn't anything else inside her. Onsen jerked a bench away from the table, sliding it right under her as she sat down, otherwise she would have ended up on the floor.
Staring overhead, her eyes filled to the point where she couldn't see.
Tears poured down her cheeks all the same.
And it was a waste! All of this was such a waste!
"Stop that!" Lin snapped at the creaking roof, angrily wiping her face as Onsen pitched a panic trying to get her attention, "Look, she's harmless!"
Lin flinched and dropped the knife as something invisible tugged on it. It rolled into the middle of the floor then came to a stop. Dropping to her knees, Lin snatched it up as though it was the most precious thing in the world.
It was Ume's knife. It had gone missing the same time Haku disappeared.
"Where did you get this!?" Lin hushed, throwing her eyes at the rabbit.
The kami had pushed back her mask and was staring distantly, rocking slowly but no longer sobbing. She had a sweet face and a pink nose that twitched as she sniffed repeatedly. On hand and knees Lin clambered over, shrinking back and gently extending her hands as the rabbit flinched. Her dark eyes went wide and frantic as she half stood, looking ready to bolt.
"Usagi, I need you to listen to me," Lin began as gently as possible, trying not to rush, "I know you're scared but I won't let anyone hurt you. You are welcome here. We're going to help you. I'm kami so you know I can't lie. Nod if you understand."
Although she was staring blankly the rabbit's ears pricked. She nodded slowly.
"Good," Now Lin held up the knife, "Now can you to tell me where you go this?"
"M-Miss Okesa g-gave it t-to m-me."
The rabbit stammered in the barest hush as her dark eyes turned to on her. As they did Lin's world narrowed to the sound of the stranger's voice.
"You know Okesa?"
Usagi nodded solemnly, "S-she said I c-c-couldn't come. She s-said it was too dangerous. So Mr. Haku asked me t-to bring this to s-someone named Lin."
The rabbit withdrew a folded piece of yellowed paper from her kimono.
Lin choked on a sob, because it smelled like rain.
Her name was printed on the front in the dragon's perfect crisp calligraphy.
"You must be M-miss Lin," Usagi was searching her face as she held out the letter, "H-he said you wouldn't let anyone hurt me."
Putting down the knife Lin took the paper with such gentleness, afraid it was going to disintegrate the moment she touched it.
"Lin?"
Whirling at the sound of Natsumi's voice she found the rest of the Bath House kami clambered and peering through a crack in the slider leading to the back porch. They were soaked through from the blowing rain. Uttering a tiny squeak, Usagi scrambled under the table and hid from view. Rolling her eyes and hastily stuffed the letter into the front of her kimono along with the knife. Then Lin was on her feet and pointing.
"Everyone except Natsumi get back to the God Wing!"
Frogs milled and scattered as the damp yuna squeezed through a crack in slider.
"I heard… shouting."
Her knowing gray eyes were the size of her face as she came forward with anxiously clenched hands. Again the old kami was staring at her stomach. At once heat flooded Lin's face but it did no good to hide anymore.
"When does anyone in this house ever talk?" She muttered in exasperation, throwing her hand at the nook, "There's a rabbit somewhere under this table. Can you clean her up, feed her, and put her to bed? I'll explain everything in the morning."
"Of course," Natsumi was already peering under the bench, beckoning gently, "It's alright, dear. You can come out now."
As she turned away Lin was forced up short as a sharp stab twisted in her back only to spread down through her body until she was bent by the sheer force of it. She caught herself on the edge of the bench as if almost forced her to her knees. At once Natsumi had her by the arm. Her face was utterly pale.
"Lin! You're bleeding!"
Looking down Lin found a blot of red soaking the front of her white kimono.
At once she was shaking as her head swam.
Blood on the snow! Oh, Gods! Oh, Gods! There was blood on the snow!
Suddenly she was back in the forests feel the beating of distant clubs throbbing inside her veins. The light and the ground dissolved and she was sinking into cold. Had she fallen through the ice on Lake Shikaribetsu? She couldn't tell because everything was dark. She was drowning in it and Lin struggled to find the surface but couldn't.
"S-Suzume!"
She gasped, reaching for him in the dark.
And then she was gone, lost to the pulling current of oblivion.
