When he returned to the shed, he didn't go inside quite yet. And he wouldn't for quite a while. No, for as long as he could hear their fucking moaning, he wasn't going in there. Castiel instead remained outside, walking out to his usual sitting spot for when he had bad headaches. He sat down, resting his head against the wall of the shed and closing his eyes. If the radio was out here-Oh, shit, it was!
Castiel quickly stood, ignoring the slight dizziness caused by it and instead dashing around to the other side of the shed, grabbing the radio and going back over to the side to sit down again. He'd brought it outside the day before yesterday, because he'd wanted to sit outside but listen to music as well, you know? Dean had ended up coming outside too, and the two of them had sang along to any song that came on, whether they knew the lyrics or just had to mumble their way through it.
He loved those times, when Dean was here and they could just sit outside together and sing along with the radio. Or when they got to build fires and talk, though those times were getting more spread out and well, considering it hadn't happened anytime recently, he figured that tradition was over. He was out all the time-spending time with Lilith, as he'd revealed. He once again ignored the now-familiar feeling of his eyes stinging with the need to cry. He didn't cry, it wasn't like him to and he wasn't going to start now.
He figured the two inside would probably hear it, but Castiel turned on the radio anyway, turning up the volume until he couldn't hear them inside. It would have been better for him to just go back out to the city and maybe wait at the park for a bit then come back, but no. He lived here, and he wanted to be here. So he immersed his thoughts in the sound coming through the radio, and after a bit raised his voice to sing along.
He ended up falling asleep, actually, the radio still playing on while he slumped over and slept, head on the ground while he lay on his side. If he was awake he'd probably be pissed, considering he could be getting his hair dirty again and he'd just washed it, but he wasn't. No, he was asleep, and peacefully, at that, so he didn't even notice when Dean and Lilith walked out of the shed and through the woods, back towards the city. And when he awoke, and the sky was darkened again, though the radio had been turned off he was alone once more.
And alone he remained until two days later, when the door opened and he was met with both Dean and Lilith again. Castiel had scowled inwardly, his hatred for this girlfriend of Dean's blooming with every second his eyes were upon her. She had no right to do this, to take his best friend from him like this and have said friend ask him to stay somewhere else. This was his home. The first place that he'd ever really felt comfortable in, where he knew he could go when he was feeling down and he knew that he would be safe when he awoke in the mornings. He might not have a shower, but he had four little walls around him and a radio. He had a blanket and fruits, and along with Dean, those were the only things he needed. But Lilith was taking all of that away from him. The question became more and more familiar as the months went on-
"Would you mind staying somewhere else? Just for the night."
And every time Castiel would leave without a protest, because that's what friends did. They let their friends have their time with their girlfriends or boyfriends and they helped them out. Dean might not spend much time with him anymore, he might not build fires and talk about his family or do karaoke with him anymore, and he might not ever eat the fruit he cut up for him anymore. But he was still his friend and he couldn't let Dean down.
He didn't go to that man's house every time. He liked him well enough, but Castiel had a feeling that he.. well, that he wanted a relationship. And that was out of Castiel's comfort zone. He could do sex, he could do anything really besides an actual relationship with someone. He was only with people to stay at their houses, anyway. So really, it was pretty much how it was before he'd met Dean. Except now, he had an emptiness in his heart that had once been filled with closeness. Closeness to Dean, who was becoming closer to Lilith day by day, night by night. They spent all of their fucking time with each other, sucking face and having sex and whatever the fuck else they did. Lilith probably cut up fruit for Dean, and that fucker probably ate it and thanked her for it like he never did anymore with Castiel.
His drug addiction got worse, he supposed. He was always high now, when before, it had only been in the afternoons, really. He spent more money on the drugs, yes, but he was also out more working, considering Dean was always hogging the shed. So the money wasn't the problem-however, the increasing number and intensity of headaches and dizziness was. But he was okay. Like he always fucking was.
