Disclaimer: I own too much stuff but unfortunately HaH isn't one of those things
Author's Note: Thank you all so much for your lovely comments. And thanks to my awesome betas Sones and Rahel. This was chapter was actually only supposed to be the first half of one but it just kept going so please be patient for the next one. It's all important stuff. Oh and I may have changed Jenny's parents' names.
This one's for Alexa.
I waited, anxiously, legs swinging absent-mindedly just above the water beneath me. My fingers gripped my phone tightly, ready to respond at the slightest hint of a vibration. A text meant she was home, a text meant she was finallyhome. She had called just before her connecting flight from Istanbul had left Frankfurt, and that had given me time to prepare. Trying to busy myself, I'd showered, ironed my clothes, and tidied my room. I'd even given myself a haircut! It had gotten to the point where I was struggling to navigate my way down the corridors at school for all the hair in my face, so I'd decided action needed to be taken. And glancing at my reflection in the water below, it didn't look too bad. It didn't look great but hey, it looked grungy. It was ironic and shit. She'd like it, as long as she could ruffle it, she'd like it.
So I was ready. Ready to get my girlfriend back.
My phoned buzzed in my hand and I rushed to flip it open to read the text hidden inside. My heart sank a little when I read the message. Watching the football this weekend? Get two pizzas for the price of one, this weekend only at Domino's. Code X7Z90EU. Fuck you Domino's! Fuck you! I sighed, deleted the message and closed my phone back up, looking out onto the river. Swans hovered on the water and the insistent yapping of geese on the other bank had increased in volume as a set of tourists decided to empty, what looked like, an entire lorry full of bread crusts onto the steps that led into the water. I shook my head, I hope it wasat leastbrown bread.
I swung my legs some more and anxiously delved into my shirt pocket in search of some spearmint gum. Smiling in relief, I found myself rewarded for my efforts with a final stick of Wrigley's. I peeled back the foil and folded it on my tongue and into my mouth. Fresh breath was always key and chewing gum kept me from grinding my teeth, which was one of the big symptoms of my anxiety - and I was certainlygrinding my teeth now. I hardly ever noticed I was doing it so my psychiatrist convinced my father to buy me a year's supply of gum to keep in my pocket for whenever I was feeling anxious, stressed or worried.
I closed my eyes and gripped my phone harder, willing it to buzz. I needed her back. School had become intolerable. Life without her had become even greyer than it had the last time. I exhaled and closed my eyes, desperately trying to relinquish my anxiety to the wind, but it wouldn't acquiesce my request. Instead, I reluctantly placed my phone back into my trouser pocket and sighed. I took a cigarette from behind my ear and rolled it between my thumb and forefinger. She wouldn't be happy I'd started again. Even though she knew she was the reason. I broke the little white stick in two and flicked it into the river. Till next time!
I was jolted by a buzz against my leg. Was it just me, or do you always get the text you've been waiting with baited breath for the instant you decided to put your phone away? I wrestled the phone out and flipped it open once more.
Be at mine in 30mins? Usual way. I have something for you.
I grinned. Hopped off the crumbling brick wall and dashed up through the long grass to the fence that separated the public footpath from my parent's land. I ducked under and practically skipped across freshly cut grass. Eventually I came to the house and made my way in through the back door. "Mum?" I called, my voice ringing through the empty halls and high ceilings. "Dad?" Silence. I waited. "Mum?" I tried once more.
After another moment's silence, a distant, "Erika?" echoed down the halls towards me. My father, he must have been in his study – as usual. I quickly bounded through the house until I reached a large oak door. Sticking my head around it, I took in the familiar sight of my Father sat at his desk with papers scattered over its surface and stacks piled high, book upon book, journal upon journal, an organised chaos that only he understood. My father's sandy blonde hair, which normally adorned his head so perfectly, was tousled. At the sound of my approach he turned round, red cheeked and tired eyed. He looked awful. He looked frustrated. He looked tired. Amazingly though, he still found it in him to smile at his daughter, and I loved him for it. It didn't seem to matter how stressful things got with work or how short on time he might be, he alwayshad a smile for me, whatever the weather. I grinned at him from ear to ear and his eyes lit up. "I'm going out," I told him.
"You weren't out already?" He asked me, his eyebrow raised, and his tone jovial.
I smirked, "In the most basic sense of the word, yes I suppose I was. But I'm going outout." He nodded in understanding.
"Ah, outout. Of course. Should I tell your mother to prepare you some dinner?"
I shook my head. "I don't think I'll be home in time," I told him, "Come to think of it, I don't think I'll be home at all this evening."
My father nodded. "I'll let her know. Have a good night honey. And give them all our love will you?"
I nodded. "I will. See you tomorrow Dad. Love you."
"Love you too, now get going! Unless you're any good with algorithmic trading, thenyou can stay!"
I laughed, flipped him off and made a break for it. I could hear his echoing laughter, chasing me down the hall and out the front door.
When I made it to the road I turned left and a little further on I came upon the bridal path which would lead me all the way to the field that boarded the Hartmann estate. Walking at a hurried pace I didn't stop at all my usual places.
In the last few months I'd often made this walk. When Jenny had left she had given me her window key, telling me that when I needed some time alone or some time with her, as she put it, I should walk down this path, stopping along the way at all our familiar places until I made it to her house, up the tree in her garden and into her room. My route to the Hartmann's took me past the tree with our initials carved in its bark. Nothing romantic or anything like that, but a simple, 'LH and BF Woz Here 2005'. Little Heart and Big Foot. At the time, for someone of my age and stature, I had possessed remarkably big feet. I only glanced this time at the burned out bomb shelter, sunken into and now part of the field to my right, away from the river. I didn't lay any offerings at the throne of the Fairy King, an old tree just off the path which had grown hollow over the years. When we were young, children of the town would whisper stories of a great battle between the fairies of the wood and the fairies of the river. This was their Throne, the item of contention, and to appease both sides humans would leave small offerings of flowers, leaves and berries so not to be drawn into the centuries old battle.
This time though, I didn't need to stop at all the places that reminded me of her, gathering memories to take to her room. This time, I wouldn't need these things to remind me of her touch, her taste, or her laughter, because she'd be there when I climbed the tree and unlocked her window. I could hold her, kiss her, taste her. God, how I'd missed her!
I came to the fence of the Hartmann estate and hopped it with ease as I had done many times before. I quickly jogged over to the old oak tree that loomed over the back left hand corner of the grand Edwardian house. Oak trees weren't typically known for their climbable build but as kids we had notched little holes into its sides so that we may clamber up into its branches. As I was older now and at a push, taller, I scaled the tree with ease. My hands and feet found the little grooves as if it were second nature. When I reached the desired branch that came almost level with Jenny's window I placed my hands firmly and heaved myself up onto it. I brushed off some debris from my shirt as I glanced towards the window. She was there, perched on the end of her bed with her back to the window, waiting. I smiled to myself. She always liked me to surprise her. Even if she did hear the window unlocking or creaking as I raised it open. Even if she could hear my padded footfalls across the carpet. Evenif she knew I was coming.
I scampered across the branch and easily negotiated the small gap between the tree and Jenny's windowsill. From there I could see her properly now. Her hair was longer than before and a little bleached by the sun which had brought out its natural highlights. Her shoulders were tanned even more so than usual, and her posture seemed just as rigid as ever. A few suitcases were piled up to her right, ready to be unpacked into her cupboards, which were already overflowing with clothes. No doubt my girlfriend had bought many more clothes to which she was going to try and stuff into the groaning piece of oak furniture. I smiled to myself and withdrew the window key from my pocket. With one last look at her, I turned the key in the lock, eased the bay window up and ducked bringing my feet round to drop down onto the carpet softly.
If she knew of my presence she didn't let on as I moved quietly across the room and came to a stop, inches from where she was sat, and took a seat gently next to her. Jenny's room had always smelled like Jenny. The smell of her shampoo or body wash, a combination of the perfumes or body sprays she used, the herbal teas she drank, scented candles and incense she insisted on buying to cleanse her chi. Everything came together and when Jenny was absent I found comfort in that, but it was nothing compared to having the real thing sat next to you. I was almost giddy.
I heard her inhale and then she spoke. "You don't hang around do you," it wasn't a question. She turned to me, her blue azure eyes met mine, and I couldn't help but grin when I saw a wide smile on her face.
I raised an eyebrow, "Why, should I have?"
She giggled, grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me forward, mumbling a quiet "Shut the fuck up," before our lips crashed together. Her hands were in my hair, her nails grazing my scalp. Before I knew it Jenny's head was resting on her pillow, my hands inching her skirt up causing it to bunch round her hips and she fumbled for the zip on my trousers. I trailed hot kisses down her neck and nipped at the soft, sensitive skin there causing Jenny's hips to buck into mine. I gave in a little and gave her the contact her body was begging for as I began to rock slowly against her. She gripped my hips hard, as she tried to bury her head in pillow in an attempt to mute a small moan that escaped her lips. "I've missed you so much," I whispered, breathlessly whilst placing kisses along her collarbone.
"I missed you too," she managed, "I missed you too". I snuck my fingers under the hem of her vest, and began to remove it slowly, pulling it up and ove-
"Girls!" Rolf, Jenny's father, and my Godfather, called through the door. Frozen, I heard Jenny sigh in frustration beneath me, but my eyes were rivited firmly on the door.
"Yes Dad," Jenny called, impatience in her voice.
"Is it alright to come in?"
"No, Dad!" Jenny snapped, irritation evident in her voice. I started to climb off of her but she captured my arm and shook her head, giving me a pointed look.
"Hello Mr Hartmann," I attempted, earning me another not so pleased look from my girlfriend, but I pulled my arm away and quickly sat up on my haunches.
"Erika, how wonderful it is to hear your voice again after such a long time! Perhaps you'll do me the honour of gracing me with your presence at dinner so I can look upon that heavenly face of yours once more. If you're not too pre-occupied with my daughter that is," I knew that Rolf's last comment was meant in jest, it was evident in his voice, but I couldn't help feeling instantly ill at ease.
"Of course, Mr Hartmann," I swallowed. "Dinner would be great. Thanks."
"It won't be that great. We're ordering out. Jenny, pizza okay with you?" She mumbled a response and with that he was gone.
After a moment's silence we heard his footfalls on the stairs and I let myself breath. "Fuck me," I sighed with relief.
Jenny laughed a little, "I was trying to. Come here," she pulled at my shirt that I had only just started to re-button up.
I hesitated. "Jenny," I warned.
"What?" she asked impatiently, moving her hands to my hunched shoulders and gently rubbing, trying to ease some of the tension there.
I screwed up my eyes for a moment, irritated with myself for feeling so self-conscious all of a sudden. I was being an idiot. He was downstairs, it didn't matter. Rolf was cool, always had been. He'd always supported our relationship even when others hadn't. He was just winding me up.
I opened my eyes and saw that Jenny had come closer; the irritation had left her eyes. "You alright?"
I nodded. "Yeah, just… I'm fine." I let myself smile, but unconvinced, Jenny frowned and sat up a little.
"You've been getting worse again haven't you?" I shrugged. "I'll take that as a yes." She cocked her head to one side and flashed a telling smile. "I might have something," she said. "I got it from some backpackers I met in Istanbul. They said they'd found it in Syria but had found places to get it in Turkey too. It'll relax you."
I raised my eyebrows, "Relax me? I have CBT for that."
"It's just good for when you want to chill out you know, and you feel you can't?" She pressed her lips to mine and spoke a little quieter, "Good for sex too." I laughed now; Jenny had often had a one-track mind as of late. No phone conversation was complete without her insisting on knowing what colour underwear I was wearing.
We had agreed that when she left that we could see other people until she returned. She knew that I wouldn't, but I knew that she would. We were different. I kept everything inside; Jenny always needed to let it all out. But that's why we worked, and I had to accept that if I wanted to keep her. Besides, I knew I had her heart, and that's all I really cared about.
I smiled and kissed her back. "I don't know babe, there's a reason I've not been put on medication."
Jenny pouted. "Erika, I love you, I would never do anything to hurt you. Trust me. You'll feel better. And it's nothing serious okay?" My brow furrowed. "Just try it, once, for me?" She pleaded. I found myself not being able to say no as she pulled me back down on top of her and proceeded to unbutton my shirt.
Three quarters of an hour later we heard the sound of the doorbell and Rolf called up to us to tell us the pizza had arrived. We straightened our clothes, flattened our hair and made our way downstairs to the dining room. Although the food on offer that evening at the Hartmann's was takeaway pizza, it was still customary to eat at the dinner table. Knife, fork and all.
"Emma, Mighty Meaty or Texas BBQ?" Rolf asked. Emma looked over to Jenny who shrugged. Her girlfriend was being no help. The absurdity of her parents serving Domino's Pizza at the dinner table was clearly getting to her, and the significance wasn't lost on Jenny either. "Mighty Meaty?" Emma shrugged.
Rolf smiled widely and practically bellowed from the top of the table to his wife, "Christine dear, could you pass that one down to Emma? Thank you!" Emma smiled her thanks. Dinner with the Hartmanns take two… the blonde hoped she'd have a better time of it this time round.
TBC
Hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading!
