Jolly Holly Chapter 9
Year 7
Severus had made an excuse as to why he didn't want to go with Mulciber and Avery on their mission to harass Gryffindors on the first Hogsmeade weekend of December. He didn't want them to know he was on a mission of a different kind. After the complete non-Lily Christmas of last year, the young man was determined to make a grand gesture to regain her friendship for the thousandth time. Again he didn't realize their was only one gesture that would do that. Thinking a gift of extreme sentiment would do it, Severus went looking for just that gift.
It was difficult to do that while also trying not to be seen by any of his friends, her friends, and especially the Marauders. All he needed was for those four to see him looking at 'girly' things.
"Young man, if you tell me what you are looking for," the shopkeeper said impatiently. "I could help you find it."
"I'm just looking," the boy insisted.
"Yes, but for what exactly?"
"I'll know when I see it."
It was not until several stores later that he saw it. He was right, the minute he saw it, he knew it was for her. Delicate holly leaves of shinny green lacquer surrounded by gold were linked together by red berries in a strand that made the bracelet. This Severus felt was the perfect peace offering. He could never quite believe all of her protests that she wanted nothing more to do with him. The fact that the Hogwarts grapevine had not linked Lily with the name of any boy, yet, bolstered Severus ambitions as well. What did put a damper on his plan was the price of the jewelry. Ten Galleons; for a wizard his age, that was a fortune.
"Look," Severus spoke to the sales woman. "I have eight. If I give that to you now, I can get the other two before Christmas."
The shopkeeper looked down her nose at the boy. He didn't look like the kinds of youngsters who usually bought things at her store. His clothes were all frayed at the edges. "And what if you don't get it? I might be able to sell that to someone else."
"I'll get it." Severus seemed so confident that the woman agreed.
"I know you Hogwarts students are due for another visit in two weeks. If I don't see you then, I can't hold it any longer than that."
"Fair enough."
With that taken care of, Snape went to find his friends. He couldn't let them have all the fun of hexing Gryffindors.
In the two weeks that passed, Severus had been working overtime to write seventeen potion papers at two Sickles a piece to make up his needed two Galleons. He wasn't getting much sleep, but the excitement of getting the bracelet kept him wide awake. When the day came he made sure no one knew where he was going.
The boy was beaming as he handed the shopkeeper the rest of the money. It belonged to him now. Now he could give it to Lily. He felt confident he could get her to agree to a meeting at least. Seeing the boy's house scarf around his neck, the shop woman placed the bracelet in a sliver box and tied a green ribbon around it. Severus wasn't sure what Lily would think of that. "Uhh," he let slip out. "Could you change that to Gryffindor colors?"
"So, your lady is a Gryffindor is she?" The woman had a glint in her eye. Severus nodded in a shy manner. The woman took out her wand, and changed the colors to gold for the box, and red for the ribbon. "She'll like that then." She handed the boy the box. "Merry Christmas."
A real smile of happiness grew on Severus' face. Before exiting the shop, he chirped back, "Merry Christmas."
The box was easily hid inside Severus' jeans pocket. These were still a size bigger than he was. In there the box would never be crushed. The same could not be said of the young man's heart.
Not wanting his Slytherin friends to know he was buying something for a girl, let alone Lily, this had been a solo mission. Severus was not going to linger in town. The young man had outgrown his old habit of not looking where he was going. Not walking into people he didn't want to run into had become an obsession. He knew how to keep form being seen before he saw whoever was around. Stealth had become his middle name.
This day was no exception, but Sev almost let himself be seen because he was day dreaming about how he would give Lily the holly bracelet. He was about to round the corner of one of the village's ally like streets when something told him to stop. Muffled voices could be heard from around the bend. Even without hearing what was being said, Snape knew one of those voices was Lily's. Curiosity made Severus take a peek to see what she was doing there. He wished he had never looked. Ignorance would be blissful. This was torturous.
'No,' Sev thought. He couldn't believe his eyes. 'I'm hallucinating.'
Several blinks did not change what he saw. Lily was not alone. James was with her. Potter was holding up a box similar to the one now hidden in the other boy's pocket. Lily opened it and looked admiringly at something within. "My birthstone," Lily said with glee. "Red like Gryffindor. It's beautiful." She flung her arms around James' neck then they kissed.
"Guess this makes it official," James said when Lily released him. Then he slipped the Garnet ring on her finger.
'No. No. No.' This was the only word that rang in Severus' head. He was sure he would have heard about something like this through Hogwarts' extensive rumor mill if Lily had been seeing Potter. The way they were carrying on, there was no mistake. Every bit of confidence Severus had gained in the last two years melted away. 'How could she?'
The Slytherin boy did not move for a good while after he saw the person he loved the most walk away hand in hand with the person he hated the most. In the opposite direction Severus walked back to the school in a complete daze. The lowered head and slouch in his body were back.
Just outside of the village, on the road back to the castle, something wet and cold hit Snape in the back of the head. Snow slid down his neck and anger rose in his veins.
"No thugs to watch your back today Snivelly?" Sirius was joined in laughter by Remus and Peter. They stopped when they saw the look in Severus' eyes when he rounded on them. Quicker than that look Snape's wand was out and like a shifting wind it only took a second for the jinx to hit them. "Winterumrollium!"
Before they had time to react the three Marauders found themselves being pulled into a vortex with spinning snow. When the spell was complete they were encased in a giant snow ball. Only their extremities were sticking out of it. Hands, feet, and faces wiggled to break free, but they couldn't. There was no possible way to reach their wands either. Severus was making his way over to the huge ball of Gryffindors. "What a pleasant day for a little roll in the woods," Snape hissed out.
"Severus, don't do it," Lupin pleaded. He knew it was useless. After all the things they'd done to Snape, and the fact that they would have done the same to him, made what happened next was inevitable. With all of his might Severus pushed the giant snow ball with the trapped boys over the path, down a steep hill making it roll into the forest.
"Should be a good while before anyone finds you," Severus gloated from forty feet above where the snow entombed boys eventually came to rest. "Most take the other path back to the castle. Ta ta."
This was true. That path was not the most direct way back from Hogsmeade to the school. Until his triumph over the Marauders, Severus had not realized why he had come back this way. Despite what he'd seen in the village, he couldn't stop himself from going to the spot he had hoped to give the bracelet to Lily. Even if it was a useless gesture, he felt as if he had to make it anyway. Closer to the school, but still along the edge of the forbidden forest still stood, their tree. The little pine tree that had been only four feet tall in their first year was now a good fifteen feet high. It's only decoration was snow, and a few abandoned bird nests. When he had let Professor Flitwick transform the construction paper star into a real silver ornament two years before, he could not get it back as Professor McGonagall thought it one of the Hogwarts ornaments. He still knew which one it was. Severus had planned to swipe it back before leaving for Regulus' house last year. This never happened.
Now as Severus stood knee deep in snow staring at the tree, it didn't even matter that this was the last Christmas he might be able to take the ornament back. Still in a daze, his hand gripped the small box in his pocket. 'Lily? Potter? Impossible.' The image of Lily kissing James played over and over in Severus' mind. He cursed his eyes for ever seeing it. He had no idea what to do next; What to do now that the only thing that held him to hope was destroyed. The box was pulled out of the pocket, the ribbon ripped off and thrown to the ground. The box was opened and its two halves joined the ribbon. The bracelet of holly now gripped in his hand, the edges of the leaves dug into his skin, Severus wanted to fling it away, but he couldn't. No matter what she had done, even if she didn't love him, if she loved Potter, Severus still loved Lily. This love did not fill him with the joy it used to, now it was a knife that sank deep into his heart. As much as he didn't want to fling the row of holly leaves away, he didn't want to keep it either. What came to his mind was that he should leave the bracelet in the tree. For what ever reason, Severus slid the bracelet around one of the tree's branches.
After doing this, Snape went back to the place he had been staring at the tree for a good while, to stare at it some more. In a bit he sat back on his heels in the snow. He couldn't make himself leave. He sat there muttering, "Lily, why?"
The news that Lily Evans and James Potter were going steady had made the rounds of the castle by the time all of the students had returned from Hogsmeade. The other story that had made the rounds was that of how the two love birds had discovered James' friends encased in a giant snowball while on a walk along the less used path back from Hogsmeade, and that none other than the greasy Slytherin, Snape had done it to them. While those three were sent to the hospital wing, James poured over the Marauder's Map, this was a secret he had shared with Lily, looking for where Snape was now. "When I find him . . ."
A hand on James' arm stopped him mid-sentence.
"James please, leave Severus alone."
Potter looked at Evans as if she'd grown a second head. She continued, "You heard Sirius admit they had started it."
"That doesn't mean . . ." James saw the pleading in Lily's eyes and acquiesced. "All right, I'll leave Snivellus alone."
Lily sighed before saying, "Don't make me regret taking this." She showed the ring to him. "If you can't call him by his proper first name, call him Snape, not Snivellus, or Snivelly."
"You're too nice."
"It's Christmas James. Remember. Good will towards all men."
"But Sniv . . ." again James stopped himself.
"Even Slytherins," Lily admonished.
"Okay, even Slytherins. Unless they're about to hex someone."
"That I'll give you."
"I wish you'd give me something else." The boy's eyebrows rose hinting towards the mistletoe they were standing under.
"Like this?" Lily took the hint, and moved in for a kiss. This made Potter forget all about finding where Snape was.
As a matter of fact, it was not until curfew that night that anyone remembered Severus. Mulciber and Avery told their other dorm mates they had not seen Severus in Hogsmeade, though they had all heard about the wonderful hex he had put on the three Gryffindors they all despised.
"Where do you think he is?" Regulus asked fearing his brother had gotten even with his friend. "It's not like Sev to break curfew. I have a bad feeling about this."
"If you're that worried about Snape," Wilkes said from his toasty blankets. "Go tell Slughorn about it."
Feeling that Severus was in trouble, and not out of dorm so late on purpose, Regulus did just that. "Funny thing is Sir, I don't think Sev's in the castle at all."
Regulus was right. Only a few minutes before, the gamekeeper had been alerted that something was amiss in the forest by a tiny snow fairy. The silvery white tiny winged being whispered in Hagrid's ear, "Student, student out in the snow."
The large man leapt from his table, almost spilling the hot tea he'd just poured himself. "A student! Out in the snow?"
"Follow."
Hagrid threw on his coat, grabbed a lantern, and followed the little ball of light out into the forest. Reluctantly, the not so little Boarhound puppy, Fang followed it's owner out into the snow. Not too far into the forest Hagrid could see a few other snow fairies hovering around a strange lump in the snow. A beefy hand swept away some of the snow to reveal a half frozen Snape. "Oh no, Sev'rus." He recognized the features of the young man. The only thing that different was instead of the usual pale pallid skin, he was a sickening blue color. Fang licked at the boy's face, but the boy didn't move. "Whatcha doin' out here at this hour?" He knew the boy couldn't answer. "Must have been here a good while ta boot. Good thing these here snow fays found ya." Pulling Severus out of the snow, Hagrid was tempted to bring him back to his cabin. "No, I best get you up to the castle." He slung the skinny boy over his shoulder and marched through the snow, up to the school.
"Goodness gracious," Poppy gasped out when Hagrid carried Severus into the hospital wing. She had been made a full matron the end of last year, and was in charge of the hospital wing now that the old matron had retired. "I had a feeling I'd be seeing this one after the other three were here." She was not prepared for the condition the fourth boy was in. "He's . . . " She couldn't bring herself to say, 'half dead,' while Hagrid lay Snape down on a bed. "How did this happen?"
"D'know. I just found him out in the snow." Hagrid lingered no longer than a few minutes. He knew Severus was in good hands now, and his presence would not help any.
Poppy was loading blankets on top of the frozen boy when Professor Slughorn came through the door. He had a hunch this should be the first place to look for Severus. As the head of Slytherin, Horace wanted to go strait to the headmaster and demand some kind of retribution for whoever was responsible for landing his top seventh year student in such a condition. On the other hand, he couldn't leave Snape alone in that state. The portly professor stood next to the hospital bed looking as furious as the matron had ever seen him.
When Severus stirred a moment later, Slughorn questioned, "Who did this to you lad?"
In no form to answer, Snape in delirium said in a barely audible intonation, "Lily . . ."
Taken completely off guard, Slughorn blinked as he shook his head in a shudder. He knew his hearing wasn't that bad. Had Severus just told him Lily had been the cause of his glacial situation? In a way she was, but not in the way Slughorn was thinking. He was sure Miss. Evans would never do such a thing as hex someone leaving them to be in a snow pile for hours, even Snape. Alternatively, maybe he'd misheard. When the young man said the young lady's name again, the teacher began to wonder.
Poppy had not heard the question Slughorn had been asking her latest charge, but she knew he wouldn't get an answer. "Professor, He's in no condition to answer any questions. The boy's hypothermic." She felt her patient's forehead. "Probably doesn't even hear you." Her attentions now turned to mixing a few potions together. "The other three only needed a cup of hot cocoa, Mr. Snape is going to have to be here for quite a while." She put a cover on the container and shook the potions together. "Might be stuck here the whole Holliday." When the mixture had turned from a blue to a green color, she looked down at the frosty young man. "Professor, could you lend me a hand?"
Slughorn asked in return, "In what capacity?"
"Prop Severus' head up so I can get some of this down his throat with out asphyxiating the boy."
"Of course my good woman." The potions master did as the matron requested. As he watched Poppy try to get Snape to swallow the potion, he mused aloud, "Hardly a boy anymore, he's going to be eighteen in a matter of weeks."
Seems strange I was his age when our young man here was a first year." There was a thoughtful sigh from Poppy. "Seven years, makes quite a difference. I remember all the students here at Hogwarts as the were when they were half as tall as they are now." She paused between gulps. "In the case of some half as wide."
With a chuckle Horace added, "That could be said for a few of us teachers at Hogwarts as well."
As Poppy had predicted, Severus was not out of the hospital wing for a while. It was not for the entire holiday, but a few days after Christmas. Each and every one of those days Dumbledore was trying to get Severus to tell him what had happened. "Why where you out in the forest Severus? Who left you in the snow?"
The answer to question one Severus wouldn't answer because that was none of Dumbledore's damn business as far as he was concerned. The answer to question number two he would not give because the answer was himself. How could he tell the headmaster he left himself out in the snow? He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but he couldn't leave the tree. It got colder and colder, but he didn't care. The snow fell all around him, but he didn't care. The struggle between Severus' feeling of betrayal, which was so strong at that point, and his vast hidden love for Lily made him want to be taken by the cold. In some way a part of Snape was never retrieved from that cold. Sev had left a large chunk of his heart hanging out on a branch of a tree along with that bracelet of holly.
tbc
