Chapter 9
Confession
I was as happy as ever to see my dorm room again. It was a great feeling being 'home' again at my home away from home. It felt so refreshing being in my room with a nice heating system now that it was winter, Thanksgiving break would be upon us within a few days, and a laptop but most of all I was happy about being near Alice … alone again. I didn't want to be alone with her in the sense that I wanted ravage her no … it was more a need to tell her what I knew I had been feeling for a long while. The feelings I had been having since we first met.
I was glad to have some kind of support even if it was from another bed. I wasn't sure how I wanted to say what I wanted to though … it wasn't an easy thing to do … confessing. It takes a lot of courage that I most definitely do not have.
"So you have to take it easy today okay Bella? I know that you don't want to laze around all day in bed and that you really didn't want to have Angela and me hovering on either side of you while you walked but still … you have to do what you have to do. Think of it this way you have the rest of today and tomorrow to relax and Thanksgiving break is coming up soon! We have a three day weekend and you can relax and unwind today and tomorrow."
I had to give it to Alice for at least attempting to make me feel better even if I really did feel like shit. Then again Alice's presence alone made me feel infinitely better.
"Yeah I know … I just um … well I erm … c-could w-we go … um you know, eat something?" I felt embarrassed that I couldn't say what was on my mind at all. Even Alice seemed to get the sense that I wanted to say something else.
She shot me a worried look before nodding slowly and asking me hesitantly, "is that all you want to ask me?"
I thought about it for a moment and felt myself sink into guilt ridden feelings. I shook my head slowly and found her eyes on me. I couldn't figure out how to go about this so I chose to stick with what I originally said.
"Well I am a bit … you know hungry but uh … it's not the only thing on my mind. I um … I would rather get something to eat first before I tell you the other thing I want to say. I mean that is if you don't mind? I'm sure I can walk on my own without any trouble." Alice gave me a look that clearly said she wasn't happy with my persistence in being independent but also that she couldn't exactly argue with it either.
"All right but you know my dad's a doctor and you know what they say about doctor's orders! You have to listen to them even if you don't like them because they're there to help you get better." Alice was serious despite the fact that she was joking around with me.
I nodded in acceptance and stood slowly to save myself from the pain of ripping my stitches out by accident. I had to admit that it was very difficult to get around while my right side was stitched up and my stomach bandaged for good measure. "I promise not to strain myself too much and if I know or have the feeling that I am I will tell you Alice. I … I know it's for my best even if I dislike it." Alice seemed satisfied by my answer and we left our room, card keys and ID's hanging around our necks, and Alice held my hand gently in hers.
I was shocked by her actions but I left it alone feeling the warmth her touch caused me and the butterflies that flew around my stomach in droves. My heartbeat sped up just a bit more as she walked with me hand in hand. Before I could think much about it we had reached the cafeteria, in record time in my opinion, and Alice asked me what I wanted to eat. I was hardly paying attention until she tugged on my hand insistently.
"Bella? Are you okay? Why are you so spaced out?" She finally got my attention and I shook my head to clear my thoughts before I looked at her again. "Are you okay?" She asked me again. I nodded before giving her an apologetic smile.
"Yeah sorry I was just spaced out. Anyways what do you feel like eating? You're a vegetarian so you would probably eat some salad, fruit, pasta, or something like that right?" I, myself, felt hungry for some fruits.
Alice nodded to me slowly and we made our way to the fruit bar, similar to a salad bar but with fruits instead. We both got platefuls of our favorite fruits and grabbed forks before getting our meal cards out and letting the cafeteria worker punch our cards respectively.
I felt drained for some reason … perhaps more like I was tired of every little thing going wrong these past two months. I wanted some peace, any bit of peace from these painful encounters. It seemed like it was one thing after another and it was becoming too tiresome, just so cumbersome and irritating that I never got a break from all of the drama.
Before I knew it I had nothing left on my plate and Alice was just finishing up as well. I looked down at my plate in surprise and saw that it was indeed as empty as it sounded when my fork fell against the plate and grasped nothing but air and plate.
"Hey Bella are you really okay? You've never been this spaced out before. You're worrying me Bella." Alice truly sounded concerned and I couldn't help the sigh that escaped me.
"I … I have been thinking about something and well … I promised to tell you and I will. I … after we get back to our room, I um … I'll tell you about what I've been thinking about. The um … the thing I've been thinking about … it's hard to talk about … probably even harder than talking about my mom Alice." Alice looked worried but I shook my head at her and smiled. "Just because it's something that is harder to talk about … it doesn't mean that it per se is a cause for concern. Don't worry about it too much Alice. You'll know soon enough." The worried look on her face decreased but it was still ever present in her eyes and I knew that I would have to clear things up soon.
It had been at least five minutes since we got back to the dorms but … I didn't know how to start what I wanted to say at all … I wasn't sure how to start this conversation. I mean what was I supposed to start with? 'Hey Alice remember that time I told you, you looked hot?' No way was I saying that … or even mentioning it again. Alice sat on my bed with me, facing me, and that alone just made this so much harder for me to even start.
"So … what is it you wanted to talk about Bella? I mean you did say once we got back you would talk to me but … you're kind of being quiet … and not talking." Alice was trying to be patient, and she was a very patient person, but that didn't mean she was going to sit here and wait for an hour. Her talking at all was the push I needed to start off with the words I wanted to say to her.
"Uh well I … uh …" I cleared my throat and took a deep breath and started again. "Okay well what I uh, what I wanted to talk to you about is something that I have been having problems accepting for the longest time … well for the past few months really. I well … I remember how we first met and well I was kind of shocked by a few things then." I paused … unsure how to proceed from there.
Alice took my hand in hers and squeezed comfortingly, encouragingly. "You know you can tell me anything Bella, anything at all." Alice's voice was so tender and I couldn't help the words that I blurted out right then.
"IlikeyouAlice!" I realized then that the confusion on her face and evident in her eyes was due to the fact that I had said it too quickly for her to process. "Er um … I uh … like you a-a lot A-Alice. You're a great friend and I … I've never felt this way about anyone before."
Alice sat silently next to me as if she was repeating the words slowly, turning them over in her head and processing them. "You … wait I'm not sure if I misheard you or not … did you just say that you like me?" And here was the moment of truth, my moment to confess. I nodded slowly and felt my heart pound wildly in my chest, like never before, my stomach was in knots with butterflies just bouncing everywhere. I felt like I couldn't breathe as I waited for her response to my confession with trepidation and anticipation.
"I … yes I like you Alice … a lot." I repeated the words in a slightly different order and waited for her to either politely decline or ask for me to just … give her some time to process this.
"Y-you like me Bella? Really? This isn't some kind of joke? I mean I know you aren't the kind of person to joke about this kind of thi—" I cut off her rambling with the cheesiest of clichés and it worked heavenly for me. I pressed my lips to hers softly, allowing her the opportunity to push me away if she didn't want me. Instead to my pleasant surprise … she responded in kind after a few moments of her sitting still probably due to her shock.
I pulled back with a wide smile on my face. And Alice smiled back just as a brightly. "I've liked you since the first time I saw you and because of how kind you were to me. I fell in love with your personality from day one and since then I couldn't stop thinking about you no matter where I was. I didn't realize how I felt until … well until the night that whack job beat me up. It was when you had fallen asleep in my bed … I leaned down and kissed you on the forehead before I left and then everything just went downhill from there. So um er … you uh … do you like me too?"
Instead of answering with words she leaned in and gave me a real kiss, not just the light press I had done earlier. She pressed her lips firmly against mine and pulled away with a smack and I felt like headed and deliriously happy. I'm sure we were both wearing matching grins.
"I've liked you since well the beginning as well but … I first realized it when you were with Angela … watching your interaction made me … jealous. I knew you were just best friends but still I … couldn't help feeling jealous because of how close you two were. Sometimes I wanted to just tell you how I felt but then I thought about how the timing was bad since I had to take care of you foremost before my feelings. I wouldn't, couldn't risk you finding out about my feelings while you still needed care."
I was beyond touched by how sweet Alice was and I leaned in for another peck and smiled at what I was about to say next. "I think I know what you mean … if you had confessed while I was still healing I would have been too tempted to kiss you and that would probably lead to a lot of bloody bandages and a lot of explaining on our part. I would not have been able to control myself around you … I would not have been able to keep my lips from yours because they are sweet and addicting."
I had no idea I had this smooth side to myself … I honestly had never said something so embarrassing with such a straight face. I normally would have been so embarrassed by what I was saying that I would have turned red by now.
"Wow I had no idea there was such a suave side to you Bella! Oh how you steal my heart with your flowery words and your lips." To make her point Alice moved in again but there was nothing sweet about this kiss there was no gentleness, only hunger, desire and I loved every second of the dominating kiss she left on my lips. I pulled her into my lap and secured an arm around her waist and the other tangled in her short hair.
She opened her mouth and I felt her tongue dart and lick my bottom lip and I felt fire burn through my body with the extended contact with Alice. A moan ripped free from my throat and vibrated right into her lips. This was the most sensual kiss I had ever experienced in my life. My fingers curled into her hair with every swipe of her tongue against my lips.
She was asking for entrance and I granted it almost immediately and I was glad for it because her tongue tasted even sweeter, if possible, than her lips. I had found an addiction and it was in the form of Alice and her amazing tongue. Alice's hands were wrapped around my neck, pulling me even closer if possible.
When the need for air finally became too much we pulled apart for air and panted into each other's mouths for but a moment before we reconnected our lips and continued our make out session. I was so wet, so turned on and we were still only kissing, with a lot of tongue but still only kissing. And oh fuck that tongue of hers rubbing against mine was so erotic.
"Fuck!" I let out in a muffled hiss as she sucked my tongue into her mouth and continued to suck on said appendage. I had to say Alice was an amazing kisser and boy did she have a talented tongue! I couldn't help but moan at the incredible feeling of her tongue probing mine and her lips sucking on my tongue, keeping it in her mouth.
"Do you … feel … really … by our need … to breath too?" She asked me in between pants and kisses. I could only groan in response to her and I could feel her smirk against my mouth as she continued to give me amazing kisses.
That's when Angela decided to knock on the door and demand entrance into our room … which really was interrupting the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. Angela just had to come barging on my happy parade and pulled back with a pout through my panting. Alice looked reluctant to leave my lips and lap but she stood anyways and tried to fix her hair to make it look like my fingers weren't just tangled in them moments before. I was already missing those breathtaking, heated kisses.
She sighed as she looked over at the door before yelling out loud enough for Angela to hear, "just a minute!" She looked back at me with a soft, tender smile and brought her hand up to stroke my cheek gently, lovingly and I melted at her smile and actions, I swooned where I sat. By the look on Alice's face she was happy to see my reaction to her, ecstatic that we had finally confessed our feelings to each other. It truly did feel like a heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders and I couldn't be any happier with the results of finally telling Alice how I had been feeling ever since we first met.
"Geez what took you so long?" Angela let out in exasperation. I was glad that I was facing away from Angela because otherwise Angela would have seen the look on my face and instantly known what had transpired between me and Alice … in part at least. I would have given us away with my goofy smile. "Are you guys ready to eat? It's been about an hour since we came back so you guys should be ready to eat right?"
I felt bad that I hadn't thought of waiting for Angela or even asking her beforehand because of what I had been thinking of doing. I mentally slapped myself for being so inconsiderate toward Angela because of my self-absorbed thoughts about Alice. "I'm so sorry Angela … I kind of already ate with Alice earlier because I was hungry and well I … I didn't think to invite you … I'm really sorry Angela!"
I had turned to face her in the middle of my speech, my face apologetic and truly I was. I hadn't thought of Angela and while I was a tiny bit hungry it did not excuse me to forget about asking Angela to come eat with me as well. She had stayed at the hospital with me and then I forgot about her. I am a horrible friend in short, at least I felt like I was.
"Bella … it's okay, you don't have to freak out over it. I mean I'm sure you just had a lot on your mind and you didn't think to invite me. It's okay, really." Angela looked at me with understanding and I felt just a little bit better to have her as my best friend.
"Thanks for understanding Angela. I mean if you're hungry I can go and sit with you, hang out while you eat so you don't have to be alone." I really wanted to make it up to Angela for being inconsiderate earlier however unintentional.
"If you're up for and if Dr. Cullen here is okay with you moving around again then we can by all means go and allow me to eat and hang out." Angela said with a serious joke that was just so Angela.
"I'm not that bad … I mean my father's a doctor so these kinds of things are only natural for me to know about. I might be a bit strict but that does not mean that I am restricting. Well anyways we should go feed the hungry child now Bella." I had to fight the grin struggling to break free from my mouth because of how tenderly Alice said my name. At least in Angela's eyes it could be taken as me just smiling and laughing because Alice just made a jab at her.
Angela just rolled her eyes and pulled me up to stand on my feet before proceeding to drag both me and Alice by hand, Alice barely had time to close our door.
The moment I sat down next to Alice I held her hand discreetly under the table and looked at her lovingly. She smiled at me widely and her cheeks tinged pink at the affectionate gesture. I smiled back warmly at her and I could tell from the look on her face that she wanted to kiss me and was barely holding back the urge. I wanted to kiss her because it was so adorable and sexy when she bit her bottom lip like she was right now.
"So uh … Alice I … is it … I mean would it be okay for me to tell Angela? I mean she's my best friend and I never keep secrets from her. I was actually going to ask Angela's opinion on this on Saturday when we were getting something to eat before that … unfortunate event took place." I knew I was rambling and Alice seemed to love it when I rambled based on the look on her face, absolutely adoring and sorely tempted to kiss me.
"No, I don't mind Bella. I think I would be more at ease because well … we would have one more person we can be ourselves around. I mean I'm not sure if you want to just come out to anyone here seeing as I never really considered myself bisexual even until you and you are probably in the same boat right?" I nodded my head in agreement. "And also for most of this semester you've been out because of your injuries and you're going to be out for another few days as well."
"Yeah I barely know anyone on this campus other than you, Angela, and Brunette Barbie … er … what's her name again?" Alice shook her head to indicate she couldn't remember either. "Well anyways you get what I mean. I'm not sure how everyone here views someone who is … erm well attracted to the same gender so yeah. I think I'll have to do some research once I actually start going to classes again … I don't even remember what my schedule is like because I've been bed ridden or otherwise occupied." I let out a sigh.
"Hey cheer up Bella! You still have time to figure these things out. Don't worry about it too much and well it's not really your fault you weren't able to get to know your classmates. Well Angela's coming back this way so now here's your chance if you want to tell her!" Alice looked at me happily and I smiled back.
As Angela sat down across from me I squeezed Alice's hand before bringing it up over the table to show Angela our intertwined hands. I only let it show briefly before dropping it down slowly in my lap so as not to attract attention.
Angela sat quietly for a moment before she whispered in a scandalized voice, "you finally confessed and you're together?" At my nod she looked at me excitedly, happy for us. "I'm so happy for you guys! I just know you guys will be the cutest couple ever!"
All I could manage to do was smile at Angela across from me and then looking at Alice with adoring eyes as she looked at me with the same expression. I wanted to lean in and kiss her right then but I had to refrain and I could see Alice was struggling with the same desire.
"Oh my gosh! You guys are so cute! I want to blush just seeing how adorable you two are! I can't believe you took this long to actually get together! I could see how you two looked at each other months ago! Seriously you were attracted to each other the moment you met and now, three months later, you're finally together and you are the most adorable couple ever!" Angela gushed.
I blushed but I still had not looked away from Alice. Alice looked much the same way and couldn't look away from me either. We were in our own little world. We could hardly bare to look away from each other.
"Well now I feel like a third wheel. I'm going to finish eating now so you two can revel in making googly eyes at each other. You two are so lovey-dovey for being new to this relationship! Then again you have been crushing on each other for months. You seriously aren't paying any attention to me so I'll just shut up now." Angela was rambling and seriously went back to eating but she continued to watch us while she ate with a smile on her face.
Alice and I were speaking with our eyes and smiles. Her eyes would dart down to my lips every so often with a longing and then they would dart up to mine and I did the same thing. The desire in her eyes turned me on, burned a fire in my center and I just wanted to devour her lips. Though I was a virgin I kind of figured I knew what I would have to do when the time came … I had been doing a lot of reading on the internet from having nothing better to do … I was reading fan fiction and it just made things that much more clear. Oh god the things that was written on that site and how I wanted to do those things to Alice.
Whenever I was reading particularly erotic writing I was so turned on I wanted to touch myself like I read a girl was touching her girlfriend. There were also the times I'd looked up Yuri Manga and Anime, my friend Thao Mi had been a fan of Japanese Manga and Anime. Of course I only started reading and watching such things after I'd figured out that I was truly and genuinely in love with Alice and not fascinated. I wanted to do that to Alice now … I wanted to ravage her body, make love to her. Alice was so beautiful to me and I could hardly ever take my eyes off of her. I wanted to be alone with her right at this moment so I could kiss her.
"Whoa you guys are eye fucking each other right now … I mean seriously Bella you are undressing Alice with your eyes and fucking her with your eyes. Alice you too, you look like you are doing the exact same thing to Bella! I mean you guys are seriously steaming things up without even moving, without even uttering a word to each other." Angela made me break away from our heated staring contest. The lust filled cloud I was in became embarrassment with everything Angela said. Alice was much the same way.
"Angela … please leave us be to continue our staring." Alice's gaze never left mine and she was still giving me a heated look and I could only smile at her in response. That was what it took to break her lustful gaze. She smiled back at me warmly, adoringly.
"Okay now you guys are back to being almost sickeningly sweet. I mean seriously I think I'm getting a cavity just from watching you smile so sweetly at each other. You guys are way too adorable for the public eye!" Angela made me blush again and Alice's adoring smile just seemed to become even more adoring, if possible.
"Are you done eating yet Angela?" I knew Angela could tell that I just wanted some alone time with Alice to do some heavy kissing and maybe a few unmentionable things to her.
I waited for a response and one didn't come I looked at Angela to see that she was smiling at me wickedly and that her plate was not quite empty yet. "I'm almost done Miss Impatient!" She slowly picked up her fork and brought her food up to her mouth in an oh so leisurely manner I wanted to smack her. "I can see the wheels turning in your head and you know, Bella, that, yes, I am purposefully drawing out my meal because I was ignored." I felt a pang of guilt rush through me and Angela's smirk widened in mirth.
My guilt died right there. "Angela I think I will just leave now with Alice if you're going to be … difficult." I knew I struck a nerve in Angela. She hated being called 'difficult' because she believed herself to be 'determined' instead. She was determined all right … to make my life harder and more difficult than necessary.
Angela looked at me with annoyance but she also understood that she was acting in a way I deemed difficult so she kept her mouth closed and ate at her normal pace. I smiled in appreciation in response to her understanding and compliance.
"I don't know what just happened but I think I'll just go with the flow and enjoy the benefits of telling Angela and her understanding of us." Alice was positively beaming and I felt myself fall just the tiniest bit more in love with her though I wasn't sure how that was possible. I had been absolutely smitten since day one with her. I could feel that I would be in love with Alice for a very long time, maybe for the rest of my life.
The moment our door was closed I had Alice pinned against it as I looked her up and down with a hunger, a lust I had never felt before in my life. I was looming over Alice with my impossibly tall frame. I leaned down so that we were face to face and so I could look into her eyes. Alice couldn't take the distance anymore and she leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine roughly in hunger, heatedly with desire.
I couldn't help the moan that left me, "mmmm." Alice was such an excellent kisser that I could only follow her lead and when her tongue came out of her mouth to lick my lips I opened them easily for her to enter. I moaned again in response to her sweet tongue. I felt myself melting with every swipe of her tongue against mine in a fierce fight for dominance. I gave up and let her dominate me before mischievously sucking on her tongue and causing Alice to lose all strength in her legs, her knees gave way and I smirked.
I held her up with my knee and she groaned further. Did I mention that Alice is wearing a short skirt? I have to say that I am never usually one worried about appearances but Alice's short skirt was a huge turn on and the fact that I could feel her panties? Absolutely amazing! Also I can feel how wet she is, how absolutely turned on Alice is by me.
I couldn't think straight anymore when Alice's hands continued to lower from their place on my neck. Her path continued to slide further south down my back to the area just bordering my butt and lower back. My breath hitched when Alice pulled away from my lips to breathe and then kissed around my jaw, leaving butterfly kisses until she reached my neck. I lost all coherent thought as she kissed the juncture around my neck and shoulder.
I groaned loudly as she discovered my weak spot and continued to kiss, bite, lick, and smirk into my neck. "Ooooooh fuck … Alice." She continued her attention but after every few bites and licks she would pant her hot breath against my skin and I shivered in desire in response. I was so lost in everything that when I felt my knees buckle and felt myself land on a soft surface, I was surprised.
My eyes shot open to see that I was sitting on my bed and Alice followed not a moment after, straddling my waist. I moaned at the feel of her barely clothed hot center rubbing against my stomach deliciously, I had never been so turned on before. She lifted her hips up and grinded herself against me again and I moaned out even more loudly, more desire shooting through my boiling blood. My veins were pumping madly with the blood pounding through my body so quickly and all I could feel was its final destination, right to my throbbing in my center.
I could get used to the feeling of Alice grinding her hot center against me, the pleasure was insurmountable to any I'd ever felt before, not that I had much to compare it to. It was all too much for my inexperienced body, hearing her hot breath panting heavily against my ear, seeing her beautiful small form thrust desperately against me, feeling her hot slick panties rub against me so deliciously, tasting her sweet tongue, and inhaling her ever present scent. It became too much and I felt myself cum from the sensory overload. I had never been one to masturbate or ever even seen myself as someone overly sexual in the first place but this definitely made me feel extremely … satisfied and my libido was definitely awakened from this single sensual experience.
From what I could tell Alice came just moments after me and she held me even tighter around the neck as she continued to orgasm. "That … was … amazing. We should … do that … again sometime Bella." Alice said this sentence so sensually, so sexually with her breathy voice and then … oh god the way she said my name had me worked up. I nodded my head in agreement enthusiastically and it caused a giggle to escape Alice though she was far too breathless for it. The way she said my name was dripping with sexual energy and I felt myself grow wet again. In all of my reading never had I encountered someone who actually came without ever being touched in the … er special place. I was still in a daze, painfully aware of the second wave of ache and desire in between my legs that Alice had caused me so deliciously, so wonderfully.
Alice was still holding me tightly but I realized that she had at some point wrapped her legs around my waist, probably to get better leverage and control her thrusts better. That thought made me throb even more so and how I wanted Alice to touch me … or at the very least make me come again just to rid me of that ache still throbbing between my legs. It was definitely a sexy thought, having Alice wrapped around my body so tightly.
"Alice, h-have you … er … uh … h-have y-you … um ever d-done this before?" I was a bit hesitant to ask but I had to know because it seemed like she had done this before with a girl … I couldn't tell though. I understood that even if she had it wasn't like she had known me yet nor would it even be anything close to infidelity.
To my relief and amazement Alice shook her head. I then wondered how she knew what to do then but before I could even ask she opened her mouth with an explanation. Oh Alice how you steal my heart with every breath you take. "Well er … you see the thing is I have never done this before but er … well I kind of … um … I've sort of … well I've researched things like this. Most of what I did though was instinctual!" Alice all but shouted. She was beet red and squirming in my lap with embarrassment and I could not help but find all absolutely adorable and endearing to see her flustered. I leaned forward and gave her a loving peck on the lips.
"You are absolutely adorable Alice!" I let out a sigh of contentment and wrapped my arms around her waist. "I am absolutely enchanted by you Alice. I am so completely smitten to be honest. Why are you so perfect?" I leaned forward and put my forehead against hers tenderly and the adoring smile and blush I received in response made my smile widen. "I love you Alice." I whispered while I stared deeply into her eyes.
"I'm hardly perfect Bella but thank you all the same … I love you too. I love you so much and I have never felt so strongly about someone before. You are so perfect for me Bella … we were made for each other." The look of love in her eyes took my breath away unlike any kiss and that was a feat. We had to be made for each other. The way we interacted with each other was just perfect, so natural.
I knew right then and there that I would never find another love like this and I was willing to fight for our love. We spent the rest of the afternoon curled up against each other on the bed. We were just content to hold each other's hands. Alice lay on my arm, our fingers intertwined and her free hand ran up and down my skin in the way I loved.
We could scarcely detach ourselves for any reason, even food, and when night came Alice was still in my bed and I slept so peacefully. I never had such a pleasant sleep before and I would never spend another night alone in my bed if I could help it. I definitely would not let Alice slip through my fingers.
So are there any takers for reviewing? I might lose my inspiration if no one bothers to review their thoughts, whether positive or critiquing me. Until I write the next chapter, or at least post it! ^^
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