Loki glances at Thor, whispering quickly. "Say nothing about us. We will never be granted passage if she knows our true identities."
"Why?" I whisper back.
Loki rolls his eyes. "Hel is not exactly a fan of the Asgardians..." He says nothing more to me, and we all stand still as Modgud frowns at us and waits for our answer. We keep quiet, the sound of the roaring river is the only noise heard.
"Every day I accept fallen men and women into this realm. Everyday. Yesterday five troops of dead men came this way," says Modgud. "They rode over this bridge like you. But you make as much noise as they all made together. You four are peculiar."
Her tiny eyes land on me, I bite my tongue.
"I can't say you look like those who have died."
Still we say nothing. I can feel her patience wearing thin. She lowers the lantern, pulling back. "Alright, since you do not wish to identify yourself then you shall leave now, and never cross this bridge."
We don't move. I look to Loki for guidance, but he stands smirking at Modgud instead - apparently he's more confident in this plan than the rest of us. The maiden sighs, the sound like a creaking wind, and she moves towards us in a few quick strides. Her face is inches from mine, so close that I can smell the rotten stench of her mouth and see the pale skin that hangs pitifully from her bones.
"Who are you?"
She turns to Jane, who's brown eyes are big and scared, and spits the question again. Neither of us give an answer. Angry, she whips around to Loki and shoves the lantern in his face so the deep greens of his eyes become pale and glittery against the light.
"Tell me your name," She rasps.
Loki sneers at her, his pupils constricting. "In time you will know my name. You will say my name, and you will worship my name. But not this day - today you will grant me and my companions passage into this realm and speak nothing of it to anyone. Do you understand?"
Her tiny black eyes study him, and finally she pulls away and steps to the side.
"You may pass."
Loki shoots me a mischievous grin before we finally cross the bridge, our mouths smirking in a silent victory. Then Modgud speaks one last time:
"Be warned. Those who seek out Hel never return."
The road to hell is laid out before us by a path of bones that wind down a shaded valley until it stops at a massive set of black gates. Behind the gates lies a castle dripping with blood. The sight of it sends a shiver crawling down my spine, and my feet don't want to move. Loki's hand touches the small of my back and his breath tickles my ear.
"Fear not, Auz. I will let no harm come to you in this place of death."
I look up at his face, and through the hardened shards of hate that line his features I see true sincerity.
"I trust you," I say.
He pushes me forward and the four of us begin the trek down the road of skeletons. Every once in a while a bones snaps under our feet - usually Thor's - and the sound is like the snapping of a whip. When we finally arrive at the gates we are met by a threatening growl.
Jane tenses. Thor grips Mjolnir. Loki freezes. I grip his arm.
The soft clicking of claws against stone announce the arrival of this growling beast and it snarls as soon as it's ruby eyes spot us. It's a wolf who's as tall as me and ten times as ferocious. It's body is drenched and stained in blood but in certain places I can see the glistening white that the fur once was. The wolf howls at me and I jump back into Loki.
"At ease, Garm," Loki croons. "We have not come to disrupt anything, only to talk with Hel. Propose a deal."
Garm growls, then snorts and dips his head, but keeps his scarlet orbs locked on us as he backs away into the shadows.
"How did you.."
Loki places a finger on my lips, his eyes searching the darkness around me. "This is not the first time I've encountered the wolf and his master. Now come, we must make haste and finish this task quickly."
The massive gates open with an ear splitting groan.
"Loki," Says Thor. "I trust you will behave yourself before Hel. I recall the last time did not end so well."
"What happened last time?" Jane asks.
Thor snorts. "Last time, they nearly killed each other."
We enter a dark hall adorned with torches burning with red fire. Loki glances at me and nods in reassurance. The walls smell of rotting flesh, and the ground is wet with a dark liquid. I lift the hem of my dress to keep it from dragging in whatever splashes at our feet - I'm terrified to know if it's blood or not. The tension in the air causes my shoulder to ache, perhaps in warning or in fear. Jane's breathing is short and shallow, her body tense with caution. I grab her hand, squeezing it for support. She smiles back.
The hall opens up into a large cavern and a voice stops us in our tracks, silky like honey yet clipped and cold.
"Visitors... how splendid. Tell me, what reason has made you descend into my realm and risk your pathetic little lives. Is it to mock? I've no doubt that is why the mighty Thor is present."
"Enough, Hel." Thor barks, stepping in front of me and Jane. I cannot see where the voice comes from. "Loki and I have come to discuss the most urgent of matters with you. Your cooperation would be most appreciated."
The voice doesn't speak for a few seconds, and then suddenly a fire blazes on the ceiling and illuminates the room with an orange hue. A woman dressed in black sits on a tall throne, half of her face masked by the shadows but the part of her I can see is flawless and beyond perfection. Milky white skin with raven-black hair and eyes that swirl with a green mist. I am taken by her beauty and suddenly become very self conscious. Behind her were rows and rows of faces without number, all turned towards us — the faces of the newly dead, faces green and black and rotting, faces less flesh than bone. Faces that speak silently of horrors beyond imagining, faces pitiful and hopeless. Many are scowling or leering or treacherous or murderous and in complete and utter agony. All of them with eyes only for us. And then I see one face among the rest that stops my heart:
Balder.
He stares daggers at me and Loki and I swear I can feel them stabbing into my skin. I have to force myself to look away before I crumple to the floor.
"Come forward Loki," Hel sings. "Let me look upon your face."
Loki exchanges a look with me before stepping forward beside Thor. His fingers rub together at his sides, the knuckles growing white.
"Hello, Hel."
"Oh," She exclaims. "You haven't aged a day... daddy."
"Ew," I blurt. "Don't call him daddy."
As soon as the words escape my lips my eyes grow wide. I slap my hands over my mouth as Loki whips around and glares at me. Really, what better way to make a deal with the Queen of the Dead than to insult her?
"Come out, little dear," She orders. "That's it, right where I can see you."
Slowly, I inch out from behind Loki's tall form and swallow a lump that's formed in my throat. Hel stares at me with her one green eye that's not hidden from the shadows, eyebrow narrowing. "What is your name?"
"She's with me," Loki snaps, roughly pulling me closer and jerking my sore shoulder. I cry out in pain.
"Oh father, what's this? Getting a little young with the girlfriends now, are we?"
Wait. Father? I stare between the two of them. "Am I missing something here?"
Thor steps forward, "Auzreha..."
"You mean she doesn't know?" Hel asks, grinning in mere amusement. "You brought her all the way here without telling her once who I really am? Who my true father is? Or who banished me to this place of death?"
I feel like vomiting.
"No," Hel drawls. "I suppose you would never do such a truthful thing, would you father?"
"Hel, that's enough." He growls, tightening his grip on my wrist. I bite my lip, doing all I can to wrench my arm from Loki's grasp. I can see him falling back into a hole of bitterness and resentment once more. A fractured man emerging from his body. He notices me struggling and looks down at me in disbelief.
"What are you doing?"
"Let go of me," I whisper. "Please."
For a split second I don't think he will, but then he does and I scramble back to Jane, breathing heavy. She shares a wide-eyed glance with me.
"Did you know?" I ask.
She shakes her head, "No."
"So." Hel's honeyed voice booms throughout the hall. "Tell me, why is it you have come, for it is certainly not to show off your lover."
Thor's burning blue eyes stare up at her with no emotion. "The nine realms need your assistance. Balder has died, his death being the catalyst of Ragnarok and if we do not salvage his soul than all realms are doomed to death."
Hel laughs, slick and haughty. "I suppose there's no need for me to ask who is responsible for Balder's death." Her eyes flick over to Loki. "Why should I help you. After all you've done for me?"
She lifts herself off of her throne and emerges from the shadows. It is now that I am able to see her full figure: half dead and half alive. Part of her face is mottled and rotten, the second eye red with blood. Though most of her is the image of a woman so flawless, half of her is that of a corpse, gray and peeling and slowly dying. The side of her figure that drips with death is so repulsive, I feel bile rising in my throat. The image of her body putrid and scarred forever burned in my memory. She creeps towards the two brothers, grim and bitter. I can see the resemblance to Loki now; her pallid skin and inky black hair, slim figure and prominent cheekbones. I never knew that a father's anger can still be found in a daughter's eyes.
She saunters towards Loki and stares coldly at him. "Why would I ever help you?"
Loki says nothing. Thor does.
"Please," the blonde god begs. "For all the realms' sake. I would not come here if there was another way."
Hel pulls back, thinking. Then she spins around and ambles back to her throne where the dead part of her is concealed in the shadows once again. Her expression does not change.
"I am not so sure," she says at last, "that Balder is as much loved as people say."
She waits for Thor or Loki to object yet no one says anything.
"However," says Hel slowly, "it can be put to the test." Loki walks forward, curious. She speaks so slowly that her words are only like punctuations between her silences. "If everyone in the nine worlds weeps for Balder then I will let him return to Asgard. But if anyone demurs, if even one person will not weep, Balder must remain in with me."
"We accept," Thor bows. "Thank you, for your most gracious offer."
"You may leave," She snaps through gritted teeth. Thor hurries over to me and Jane and begins ushering us out of the fiery chamber. But Loki stays back. I crane my neck and see him standing before Hel.
"Thank you my daughter."
I see her turn her face back to him, eyes cold.
"I didn't do it for you."
"Why the hell didn't you tell me that Hel was your daughter!"
"Brilliant use of words there, really."
"Shut up!"
I pace around outside the gates, my hand against my forehead and willing the bile in my throat to retreat back into my intestines. My stomach feels sick and my knees are weak; weak with fatigue and weak with storming emotion.
"Why would you lie about something like that?"
Loki rolls his eyes, sighing. "I never really lied, Auzreha. I never denied having a daughter - and you never asked."
I have to sit down. The bones crunch under my weight. How could I have been such a fool? To think that there was never anyone before me? Stupid, really. There were probably a myriad of women before he was locked away and forced to manifest me. It would not suprise me if there was.
Loki sits himself next to me. I do not look at him.
"I am truly sorry," He says. His voice is quiet and low, I can hear the rumble in his throat as he talks. "It did not occur to me that this may bother you."
"Of course it bothers me! Why would it not?"
He looks at his hands, long fingers folded together as he waits for me to calm down.
"She hates you."
Loki pulls back, lifting his chin and sucking in a deep breath. "Thank you for that, Auzreha."
"Why does she hate you?"
"Why wouldn't she? I looked away and just stood there when the gods abducted her from her bed and cast her out of Asgard into a realm of darkness - all because she was my child and deemed a monster for her appearance. She bore the curse of my name."
I huff, finding it difficult to stay angry. "How many other children do you have?"
"Four. Odin's horse, Slepnir. As well as Hel, the wolf Fenrir, and the serpent Jormungand."
"You are teasing, aren't you?" I ask. Seriously though, a horse, wolf and snake?
Loki grins mischievously. "It's true."
I want to gag, but I don't for his sake. "Who is their mother?"
He hesitates, his forehead creasing. "A female from Jotunheim."
"Your birthplace."
"Yes."
I sigh, rubbing my eyes and feeling present ache in my chest. My frustration is still there but it's not as violent as before. "Was she beautiful?"
He turns to me suddenly. "Why do you ask these questions?"
My head snaps up at him and I see the twirling shades of green reflecting my image like a kaleidoscope. Millions of brown eyes staring back at me from his green ones. Though I recall the biting touch of his hand against my arm and I shiver. Something happened in that chamber. Something awoke the monster inside of him again.
"I'm just afraid... I... I am not the first you have ever loved."
As soon as I say the word love I wish I hadn't. Loki doesn't love me.
Loki looks at me with such gentleness that I forget there was ever such a dangerous and hateful man inside of him. His eyebrows raise into a shape of pity. I soak in the image of him here; the dark shadows attacking the paleness of his features, his thin lips pressed firmly together, black hair slicked back. Then his lips part and he says,
"No, Auz. You're the only one I've ever loved."
Ah, okay. I got really sappy writing this last part haha. Did you like it! I hope I'm not making Loki too soft...
So what do you guys think? Will the Asgardians be able to get all of the realms to weep for Balder?
Thank you to everyone who's reviewed and favourited so far, I love seeing others enjoy my writing and my fantasies:)
