A/N: Ohmygodyouguys I'm feeling a little defensive of Delly right now! And I didn't know that was possible. I totally get what you're saying, I do. But Delly is not a bad person. At all. She feels just as bad for Katniss as she does for Peeta, sure. And her indomitable positivity can get kind of annoying sometimes, I agree, but nobody's perfect, right? Honestly when I read Mockingjay I thought Delly might make a move for Peeta (my best beta Pippi Blondestockings thought the same thing, I know) or that he would get over-attached to her due to some kind of misguided Florence Nightingale syndrome, but A) Delly might be a lesbian. I read that somewhere (The List by silvercistern) and I love it. B) She is a huge Peeniss/Everlark shipper. She watched them in the Games and the Quell and knows they are OTP, mmk? And C) Whether Peeta loves or hates Katniss it's always gonna be about her. No one else. ENDO STORY. Also I don't think Katniss is a bitch on purpose. I think once she realizes she is being one via Haymitch reality check, she cools her shit. I guess the summary of this note is just to say again: nobody's perfect, right? Delly is an unrelenting optimist, Katniss can be a real bitch, and Peeta can be singleminded to a fault. I like to avoid reality by writing fanfic. We all have our thing.


Delly comes by the next day as promised.

"Hi Peeta. What are you working on?" He's busy sketching something, and she peeks over his shoulder before he can stop her.

She's not speechless often, but she is now. She sees his face and snaps her jaw shut tight. He flips the sketch over.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were coming in right then…I would have…" Peeta says.

She shakes herself and tries to wipe the shock off of her face. "No, I'm sorry Peeta. I know you…I know you've been through so much. Do you want to talk about it?" She asks, but she clearly does not want to talk about what's on the paper.

"No, Delly. I have plenty of other people to talk to about that." He says. "Lets talk about something else. How is your brother?"

"He's doing better!" She brightens. "He misses our parents, of course, but he's making friends now and he loves school."

"I'm glad." He says. Delly's younger brother is a sensitive little boy who had been having a hard time adjusting to life underground without his parents. Back in Twelve he was always outside, always had some kind of dirt on his face. "I remember he used to always come into the bakery to say hi. My father always gave him stale cookies if he had any. But only if my mother wasn't around, of course."

Delly laughs. "Of course. He talks about how nice your dad was to him. He was always nice to all of us kids."

"He was." Peeta says. He pauses before asking her. "When did you see him last? My father?"

"Oh, let me see." She says, her eyes look up absently while she searches her brain. "The last time I saw him was…my mother and I were running errands. We went into the bakery to get some bread. Your father was there, behind the counter. My mother asked him how he was doing with you going back into the arena. I wanted to kick her! She never thought before she asked those kind of questions." She puts her hand up and whispers, "She was kind of a busy body!" Her voice returns to its normal volume. "Your dad just shrugged and said he knew you'd do your best to do the right thing. He looked so sad. Like he thought you wouldn't come back." She looks down. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you that. It was too sad."

"No. No, it's the truth. I appreciate it." He says, wiping a tear from his cheek. "I just miss him."

"I know. I miss my mom, too. Even though she could be…you know. And my dad too."

"I know." He squeezes her hand. "Well, we're like family now. You can tell people I'm your brother again, like you used to."

She smiles. "You remember!" She says. "We had lots of fun together, didn't we?"

"We did, Delly."

The doctors decide that he is not enough of a threat to others (of course when they say "others" they mean her) to be confined to his room. He doesn't know if he feels safe enough, but he hasn't had a complete meltdown in about a week and he's stopped making people cry when they visit. He can tell them what year it is, where they are and all the major details of his life.

They start him out with a large public setting. Lunch in the dining hall. He thinks about sitting by himself, but as if he can read Peeta's thoughts his guard points him to a table across the room. "Docs said you should see if they'd let you sit with them. Can't hurt to ask. They say no, you can sit by yourself. You know the rules though. We'll be right here." The guard nods towards the shackles on his wrists.

He's become fond of his guards, they're the people he sees the most often. They're good people, a little uptight, but they're nice and they try really hard to not give him flashbacks. His medical team picked them specifically for their good naturedness and unflappability, but especially for the fact that they don't remind him of anyone he knows. These two are his favorite, Mike and Gabe. They're barrel-chested family men, and they are quite gregarious when they're not on duty. The other two guards he doesn't know as well. They're on the night shift, and that usually means putting up with his night terrors and irrational demands.

"Come on, kiddo. It'll be okay." Mike says.

The people at the table are eating enthusiastically and laughing at something Finnick is saying when he walks up. She's sitting right in front of him but she doesn't see him. She looks very different than the last time he saw her. Happy. Relaxed. Gale is next to her. Naturally. Between her amusement at Finnick and her choice of seats he's filled with something sudden and inexplicable. It feels like jealousy. But it can't be. He writes it off. She really does seem to have them all fooled. Even Delly, who has spent the last few weeks trying to tell him how much she has been suffering. As if she feels his thoughts, Katniss looks up. The blood drains from her face, and the table falls silent. It's Delly who speaks first.

"Peeta! It's so nice to see you out…and about." Nice cover, Delly. He thinks, amused. Very smooth.

"What's with the fancy bracelets?" Johanna asks. She's in one of those moods, he can tell. Up to no good. Just like old times, except without the torture and death and stuff.

"I'm not quite trustworthy yet," he says. "I can't even sit here without your permission." He glances back at his guards. One nods, the other tips his chin up at him encouragingly.

"Sure he can sit here. We're old friends." Johanna to his rescue. He'll have to remember to talk to her later. He misses her, in a funny kind of way. He understands why she hasn't come to see him though, she's been in the hospital and she's not one to relive unpleasant experiences if she doesn't have to. He doesn't blame her. He's part of that now. His doctor suggested that they get involved in some kind of group therapy, but she wasn't ready for it yet. And she doesn't want to risk triggering one of his episodes. She pats the space beside her.

He looks at his guards and they nod again, giving him permission. "Peeta and I had adjoining cells in the Capitol. We're very familiar with each other's screams." This makes Annie cover her ears. She gets that look in her eyes, the one that indicates a hasty retreat to the hiding place in her head. Finnick shoots a glare at Johanna. He wraps his arm around her protectively. This rubs Peeta the wrong way. He doesn't know why. Maybe because he felt so protective of her during their Theater days. But Finnick is the only one who can really ever protect her and draw her back out at the same time. Katniss looks at Annie and frowns at Peeta. This is really not going to go well, is it? He thinks. His anger is starting to give him a headache. He can feel his pulse pounding in his temples. Finnick whispers to Annie and she uncovers her ears.

"What?" Johanna says. "My head doctor says I'm not supposed to censor my thoughts. It's part of my therapy."

Everyone ducks their heads and pretends to eat. Finally Delly pipes up, "Annie, did you know it was Peeta who decorated your wedding cake? Back home, his family ran the bakery and he did all the icing." He knows she's trying to be helpful, but he's not sure if there's any salvaging the situation. It's like an inevitable train wreck.

Annie looks across Johanna like she might bite. "Thank you, Peeta. It was beautiful." He feels his anger ebb and gratification buoy his heart. For a minute he feels right. Like this is who he is. Someone who likes to make people happy.

"My pleasure, Annie," he says, and gives her a tentative smile.

Finnick decides it's time to extricate Annie before she gets overloaded or Johanna decides to be helpful again. "Good seeing you, Peeta."

"You be nice to her, Finnick. Or I might try and take her away from you." He's not sure why he feels like he needs Finnick to know that he sees Annie as a person, as a woman. He feels like he needs someone to know that he could be a viable partner and protector, even though he doesn't think of Annie in that way at all. Not after what he's seen her go through. Katniss is out. Johanna wouldn't want him. And Delly is as close to a sister as he'll ever have.

"Oh Peeta, Don't make me sorry I restarted your heart." Finnick says. He doesn't seem to take him very seriously.

Delly scolds him after they leave. "He did save your life, Peeta. More than once."

"For her." He nods dismissively at Katniss, who is glaring daggers at him over her stew. "For the rebellion. Not for me. I don't owe him anything." He is regaining all the anger he felt earlier plus some bitterness. He feels unimportant, minimized. No one takes him seriously, no one chooses him over anyone else, he's nothing but damaged goods and a giant fucking problem to solve. He hopes that his words tweak Katniss exactly the wrong way. They do.

"Maybe not. But Mags is dead and you're still here. That should count for something." Mags. Mags who walked into the fog without a single hesitation to save him. For her. He feels a stab of fresh anger open up like a new wound.

"Yeah, a lot of things should count for something that don't seem to, Katniss. I've got some memories I can't make sense of, and I don't think the Capitol touched them. A lot of nights on the train, for instance." The look on her face is satisfying. She doesn't like everyone knowing their business, does she? He can't help himself. Throwing it at her in front of Gale twists something in his gut in a way that hurts terribly good. "So, are you two officially a couple now, or are they still dragging out the star-crossed lover thing?" There were countless ways he'd been used. They'd taken his feelings, his ambitions, any chance at a normal life. But none was more painful than the corruption of the one thing he had that was true. But he can't admit that, now. Not even to himself.

"Still dragging." Johanna says faceciously.

He can't believe that after everything, they'd still be expected to put on a good show. Anger threatens to overwhelm him. He can feel his fingernails digging into his palms. He forces himself to calm down, he opens his hands and stretches them so that they can't spasm out of control or puncture his skin with his nails. It occurs to him that this in and of itself might be considered unusual behavior. That only angers him more. He feels abnormal and out of control. He can feel his fragile hold slipping.

"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself." Gale says.

"What's that?" Peeta asks.

"You," Gale says.

"You'll have to be a little more specific," Peeta says. "What about me?"

Johanna is helpful again. "That they've replaced you with the evil-mutt version of yourself," she says. Thanks, Jo. He gives her a look, but he knows that she's probably howling away with her semi-insane cackle on the inside, laughing at her own jokes. Only her sense of humor is a tiny bit twisted. He remembers back in the dungeon, when she'd laugh and spit on her torturers. Taunting them. Daring them to kill her. It was suicidal then, but now he thinks she just does it to stir things up. Chaos and mayhem make her feel normal.

Gale downs his milk and looks at Katniss. "You done?" he asks her, she nods. They get up and leave abruptly. The guard at the door chastises her for trying to take her bread outside the dining hall but doesn't take her into custody. She looks upset. Good, he thinks. He smiles a little bit. Johanna was onto something with this dragging everyone down to her level. They could all be miserable together.

"PEETA!" Delly's face has gone an alarming shade of red.

"Yes Delly?" he says, a lot too innocently.

"Peeta Mellark!" She is squealing now. "I can't believe you just said that!"

He shrugs. But Tiny Peeta is threatening to make an appearance. He's gotten a little bigger, since the last time he popped up, since Delly forced him into thinking about Katniss. He puffs his little chest and makes himself heard, with his own voice. "You hurt her," Not-as-tiny Peeta says.

"No, you hurt her Peeta!" Delly thinks Not-as-tiny Peeta is talking to her. "That was… that was just mean! You owe her an apology! And Finnick too!"

"She's a mutt, Delly! Can't you see? She killed my family! She killed almost everyone we know!"

"No! She didn't! You know that Peeta." She snaps at him, her voice getting higher with every word. "Snow did!"

Not-as-tiny Peeta raises his voice. "She's right! You know it's true."

"It's not!" Mutt Peeta snaps back. "It's NOT."

"Snow made the decision. Not Katniss. If she had known what would happen she would never have shot that arrow!"

"NO! No! She did it on purpose! She knew what would happen!" He realizes suddenly that everyone can hear what is going on inside his head because it's also coming out of his mouth. Even Johanna was shocked. Delly is beside herself, vacillating between chastising and concern. He thinks she might explode.

"Come on, Peeta." His guards are beside him at once, one on each of his arms. "Time to go back." They lift him carefully and escort him back to his room, where he can argue with himself in private.

Haymitch delivers the request from Plutarch. They need him to train.

"For what?" He asks.

"For the military." Haymitch shrugs. "Everyone has to."

"Are you kidding me? They want me, the person who is under guard twenty-four hours a day, who tried to kill their Mockingjay," he shakes his head as if he's considering the reality of this moment, the idea seems so absurd, "to learn how to fight and kill better?"

"You'll still be under guard. Mike and Gabe get to go everywhere you go." Haymitch assures him.

"Whose idea was this?"

"Coin's. Plutarch agrees. He thinks we need to show Snow that you're recovering and you're ready to fight for us, or against him. Whichever scenario you are more comfortable with. Don't worry, you don't get any live ammo."

"Will Katniss be there?" He asks. It's a question that causes a tightness in his ribs to ask. He's become very good at avoiding her.

"Yep. She'll be around. But she's pushing for some field assignment, so probably not for long."

"Good." He says, retreating into his head. "That's good." He's playing out a thousand scenarios. He hasn't had a flashback recently but that doesn't mean anything. The last one was set off by the buzzing of a new piece of equipment in the room. Sent him hurtling into panic mode. He couldn't blink enough. He couldn't breathe. They were trying hard not to sedate him anymore, because he'd been sedated so often during his stay in the Theater and the Box. They were working on a way to get him to come out of his episodes naturally, to find a focus that helped distract him enough to pull him back to reality. So far the only thing that worked was pain. They'd discovered that by accident when he punched a wall and it brought him back.

They need him to act like he's okay. He doesn't know how well he can pull that off, he still feels like a rubber ball in a concrete room on the inside. He's twitchy, his mood shifts are sometimes dramatic and unprovoked. The only time he feels like himself is when he's painting. Some of the doctors are alarmed at the subjects he chooses. They try not to be, he's told them often enough about it all. But Snow knew when he created The Theater that it's one thing to hear about something, and quite another to see it. And Peeta has a gift for detail.

Haymitch tells him about the Star Squad, Katniss's new field assignment. A gimmick to both keep her busy and get some good promo material. Gale and Finnick are also part of it. Boggs, Coin's second in command, is in charge.

Coin visits him personally to give him the news. The Star Squad lost a soldier and they need him as a replacement. They're lacking some spark, and she's decided that he's the thing to heat things up.

Part of him really wants to go, to do something. Anything. Little Peeta puts in his two cents. He doesn't want to endanger her.

"Well, I don't think we have a choice." He says. To himself. "Besides, nobody asked you."