Hey everyone so before I get into this chapter I just want to take this time to say thank you to everyone that reviewed my story! But there is one person I want to point out and that is "dmann67". Really dude? You're review for ONLY THE FIRST GODDAMN CHAPTER saying that I'm "very fuckin retarded" was… completely pointless! I mean have you nothing better to do? Well I guess not since you spend your time scrolling through M rated stories! My story is like the 6th one down dude if you don't like it skip over it don't review and insult my intelligence you fucking prick! Get a life, get a job, get a hobby, get a girl you low life! And what kind of name is "dmann67"? I mean really how old are you 12? Do you still wear Spiderman boxers? Grow the fuck up and do something with your life dumbass. Anyway sorry about that people that just really pissed me off anyway here's another chapter for all you amazing people!
(If you don't know whose POV it is by now "You are very fuckin retarded" courtesy of "dmann67")
You know a lot of the time I feel you guys judge me. Oh please! Don't 'why Fang we would never do that to you!' me, I see your snickers at my misery and shaking your heads in disapproval. I know you guys think I'm too over protective and over think things and get angry and annoyed at the littlest things. Well like I said before I'm not so sure I'm going to heaven so from the bottom of my heart I want all of you to know that I don't give a fuck! I'm just saying I have too much bullshit going on in my life to worry about if you guys approve about some Goddamn thing. I'll kill myself trying to make all of you ungrateful bitches happy!
You may be wondering where the hell all of this is coming from. Don't deny it I see the dumbfounded and confused looks on your faces. Well the reason there's a stick up my ass is because I'm about to bust an artery over that damn Igiot! No not idiot, igiot. I know spell check says it's wrong but they don't have the language of Fang up there as an option. For all you slower people out there I'm referring to Iggy. The man drives like 'Speed Racer' on crack (or maybe meth something strong I know that)!
We took my and Iggy's car to pick up Gazzy and go to the movies. Iggy's car like mine only sits 4 people he drove himself, Nudge and Ella (against my protest) and I drove myself, Max, Angel, and an open seat for Gazzy for when we get him. Iggy decided to zoom off in front of me on the highway and keeps switching lanes while I'm right behind him, almost causing 17 accidents! Now again I'm not sure I'm going to heaven so sorry but I could care less about the other people's lives. I only car about my Ella in the backseat of that damn bright ass yellow car being driven by someone who is questionable as to how in the hell they even have a damn license!
"Fang calm down that vein in your forehead is about to shoot out again," Max oh so helpfully added.
"If he kills my baby I'm gonna cut off his-"
"Fang! Angel is in the backseat!"
I looked in my review mirror to see my little Angel drawing in her coloring book completely oblivious to my stress.
"I was going to say toes," I grumbled focusing on the road again.
Max rolled her eyes, "Unhuh sure you were,"
"How would you feel if Iggy was driving like this with Gazzy in his car?"
She looked at me like I grew a second head. "I wouldn't trust Iggy to watch my plant; I would never trust him to drive Gazzy anywhere."
"So you trust me?"
"Of course I do look at you, about to have a stroke because Iggy can't drive and Ella, who is 16, is one of his passengers."
I glared staring straight ahead, "I'm not about to have a stroke,"
She giggled holding my hand in hers, "Iggy is dumb when it comes to a lot of things but you know he would never let anything happen to Ella."
I stared at her as we pulled up to a red light. "When Ella was 13 Iggy dropped a bowling ball on her head."
"… Well… at least she's alright now?"
I rolled my eyes driving off as the light turned green, drunk uncle Iggy ladies and gentleman.
We finally got to Max's house in a somewhat orderly conduct Max flew out the car (WHILE IT WAS STILL MOVING!) and into her house to retrieve her brother so we can make the movie on time.
"Fang?"
I turned around to see Angel smiling at me in her creepy wise beyond her years smile. Oh boy.
"Yeah what's up?"
"Do you like Max?"
One thing you need to know about Angel is she is so cute and adorable, she's my baby and I'd never give her up for anything. But don't let her looks and sweet little voice trick you, she's a demon. Every time there is a problem in her school 9 times out of 10 Angel is involved in some way. I personally think she's the ringleader, she a manipulator I think she tells the other kids what to do and then sits back and watch. My baby is gonna be an entrepreneur one day that I'm sure of.
"… Um… she's… well…I-"
"You like her, I'm happy you like her she's pretty and nice and funny."
"You like Max?"
"Yeah I want you to marry her!"
I could never marry Max! Deal with her every single goddamn day? Every day of the week? 365 days a year? I'd rather Dr. Gunther-Hagen tell me I have herpes and cut off my dick.
"That's nice Angel," I turned back around trying to get the terrifying image of Max walking down the aisle in a white dress to meet me. God I think I would have a heart attack if I said 'I do'.
"You two would be perfect together though!" Great now she's in on this! How dare they use my baby against me!
"Unhuh," Don't look back at her don't look back at her.
"But Faaaannnnnggggg!" DON'T DO IT COME ON FANG BE A MAN DON'T LET THIS LITTLE GIRL SUCKER YOU!
I looked at her through the review mirror. SHIT! She got me. Angel was looking dead at me through the review mirror her cursit bambi eyes on full blast.
Damn her.
I sighed, "I'll think about it Angel,"
This of course made her smile. "Ok!"
I rolled my eyes sitting back in my seat. Should I really ask Max out? This irritating, annoying, disturbed, bane of my existence, little 18 year old girl. Is she worth it? Do I really need her in my already crazy hectic life?
I didn't even know Max and her brother got in the car until she poked me. "Hey you alright?" She asked smiling at me.
Just looking at her beautiful smile attached to her beautiful face I knew the answer to my questions.
"Yes,"
Finally! That was the first thing I thought when I was able to jump out of the car. Max started up that damn song '99 bottles of milk on the wall' with Angel and Gazzy in the car, the whole way here! They got all the way down to 7 before I jerked the car into the first parking spot I saw. If I would have stayed in that car any longer I think I would have committed triple homicide. Max knew it was getting on my nerves too; she kept looking over at me as they sang that horribly annoying song. She would have been the first to go on my hit list. Next would have been Gazzy because he decided to release one of his "special skills" as Max puts it. Trust me you don't want to know.
And I don't even want to know what horrific torment Iggy had to face. He sprinted out of his car like it was turning into bumblebee.
"Hey where are you two going?" Max called helping the kids out the car.
I didn't have an answer (that Max would like) so I let Iggy answer. "Uh, we're gonna go get the… tickets! Yes because you know… the line?"
I'll never let Iggy answer for me again.
Ella, Max, and Nudge all rolled their eyes waving us away.
"Wow can't believe that worked," Iggy smiled over at me as we walked to the line.
"It didn't work they just didn't feel like dealing with you." I smacked the back of his head.
"Ow! Will you stop hitting?!"
I rolled my eyes pulling my hood up over my head.
"Dude you look like you're about to rob the ticket people take off the hood will you." Iggy said pulling my hood off my head.
"Why is it bothering you?"
"Yes you're making me hot just looking at you! Take off the damn hoodie it's like 104 out here!"
While Iggy and I wrangle about my hoodie the girls and kids had made it to the line. Standing on the other side of the rope they laughed at us all was fun and games until-
"Excuse me?" Iggy and I turned to see a group of girls all smiling at me in flirty ways.
I cleared my throat already knowing what they wanted. "Yes can I help you?"
"Well we were just wondering are you like the Dark Knight?" A blonde asked me in a low "seductive" voice. She asked me so quietly I doubt Max heard even though she was clearly trying her absolute hardest.
I nodded not liking to just come out and say yes.
They squealed like a bunch of school girls. "OMG can we like take a picture with you?!" Some red head asked.
"Yeah sure," I grumbled knowing that I can't really say no.
"So are you ladies going to the convention this Friday?" Mind as well promote it since they apparently watch this filth.
"OMG yes we are its going to be so exciting!" They squealed again as I signed their boobs.
One by one they all snuggled up next to me kissing my cheeks and doing all sorts of inappropriate things to me. Iggy ushered Ella, Angel and Gazzy inside the movie theater telling Ella to go by some snacks. I felt terrible like the worst parent on the planet! Max and Nudge stared at me confused waiting for some sort of explanation. Max mostly glared at the girls clearly unhappy with their wondering hands. What could I tell them? What could I tell her? 'Oh yeah I'm a porn star and have a lot fans I see at random times they like to grope me because they've seen it all.' That would not fly. Iggy gave me a pity look knowing how uncomfortable I was with all the gropes and slutty girls around me.
"Thank you so much!" They all smiled waving some of them put their phone numbers in my pockets.
"No problem," I waved back forcing a smile on my face. I hate being recognized for porn!
I walked pass Nudge, Max and Iggy throwing open the door and going to stand by my girls and Gazzy as they ordered all kinds of junk food. The worst part about all of this was that Ella and Angel didn't even give me a confused look or question me about the girls.
Because they're use to it. They have seen this plenty of times before. It's normal for them. Yet they have not a clue about what it really means. Why I let the girls do that to me and why they call me the 'Dark Knight'. They don't need to know all I need is for them to be happy. But it's a struggle because my dirty little secret is always hanging over our heads unbeknownst to them. No matter how hard I try they will never have a completely normal life.
The struggle is real man.
Not to happy with this chapter but I just needed to get something up there. Next one will be better promise or you can all kill me. R&R even though this one was pretty crappy.
