dedicated to: rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)
prompt: fmylife(dot)com
rating: M
story: drabble nine. third person.
FML oo9: Today, I went back to my car after a day at the mall and saw that someone wrote "I wish my girlfriend was this dirty" on the back of my dirty car. I don't have a girlfriend. FML.

note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.

summary: Sasuke hadn't washed his freakin' car in WEEKS. So as he went to buy chocolate for his menstruating girlfriend, he saw that someone wrote "I wish my girlfriend was this dirty." And he growled. Because Sakura wasn't "ready to give up her virginity." FML. //SasuSaku//


.oo9.
by
SasuSaku Forever and Ever
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)

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Car Wash

-

"You suck," he growled as he stared at the pinkette, who was brushing her hair on his bed.

"I know I do, Sasu-cakes," she smiled as the brush ran through her silky locks.

He sighed, and sat next to her.

"But why?"

She formed her lips into a small 'o.' "Because I'm not ready to give up my virginity, Sasuke-kun. I promise I'd save it for the man I married."

Sasuke growled.

"That's obviously me."

She laughed. "Mm...maybe."

"No maybes. It's a definite yes."

Sakura giggled, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "Aa. You and your jealous self."

"Hn."

She placed a hand on his thigh, resting her head in the crook of his neck, placing the brush down.

"I like you a lot, Sasuke-kun."

"Hn." I love you too.

He stroked her soft hair, placing gentle butterfly kisses over her body.

"Bye-bye and good-night, Sasuke-kun," she muttered as she fell asleep on his shoulder.

-

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12 Hours Later

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-

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"SHIT!" Sakura screamed, waking up her boyfriend. She squealed, her legs seperated as far as she could.

"What?" Sasuke groaned, being woken up after a long night.

Sakura panted. "I-It's here again! UGH! I absolutely hate when it's here!"

"When what's here?" Sasuke asked, rubbing his eyes.

"My period!" she cried as she felt the uncomfortable wetness between her legs. "And I forgot to prepare a pad...and oh, Sasuke-kun...my stomach hurts! I need chocolate, now!"

"You know I don't carry chocolate here."

She screeched at him. "Go buy some! And some tampons, Sasuke-kun. Hurry up!"

He sighed. "My car is dirty. I haven't washed it in weeks, Sakura."

"WHO CARES?! Get a car wash later!"

Sasuke hated her time of the month.

For example.

-She was bitchy. Like, not "SASUKE-KUN. GO GET ME A BANANA. NO, I SAID I WANTED AN APPLE, RETARD." But worse.

-She just laid there. And did nothing but moan and complain all the time. And ate chocolate.

-No romance. At all. Nada.

-Shopping for tampons and pads was horrible. Especially since he's a guy.

-Did he mention that she was bitchy during her period?

"Fine."

As he grabbed the keys from his countertop, he sighed inwardly as he unlocked the door to his car.

-

-

-

"Do you think Sakura would get mad if I bought her super-plus?" Sasuke muttered to Naruto through the phone, looking at the heavy tampons and the light ones.

"I don't know!" Naruto shrieked back, giggling.

"Shut up, your voice is so loud, it's like you're right...behind...me..."

Needless to say, the whole store was staring at the two, the handsome boy carrying tampons in both hands with his idiotic blonde best friend behind him.

Kill him now.

Just...just kill him.

-

-

-

After many embarrassing moments, Sasuke and Naruto walked out to his car.

"How'd you even get here, anyway?" Sasuke muttered, trying to forget that experience.

"I dunno."

Sasuke twitched, taking his car keys out.

"Hey, teme, look!"

On his car, yes, his filthy car, someone had written, "I wish my girlfriend was this dirty."

And Sasuke growled, dropping the bag.

"Fuck them," he cursed.

-

-

-

Sakura was pacing around the room, wearing fresh panties and placing toilet paper as a quick substitute. She was dressed only in her boyfriend's long shirt.

She heard the small "click!" of the key inserted into the hole, and she quickly opened the door, embracing Sasuke.

"Aah, arigatou Sasuke-kun! I was cramping like crazy!" she screeched. "And hi, Naruto."

She then took the bag from him.

"Yeah, I might need normal tampons..." she muttered. Opening the package, she lifted up her shirt and held it with her mouth, the shirt showing parts of her covered bosom. Using one hand, she stretched her panties out in front of her, and with the other, inserted the tampon.

Sasuke began to feel a little, no...large bulge forming.

And Naruto was feeling.

Well.

Naruto-ish.

She then threw away the applicator and released her lips from the shirt.

"W-Why did you do that in front of us, Sakura-chan?" Naruto stuttered.

She laughed.

"You and Sasuke-kun haven't seen me naked before, I know that. But since I'm only in his shirt, a bra, and panties, it's like the same as wearing a bikini. So no biggie."

Sasuke growled, the bulge becoming more and more uncomfortable.

There was silence.

"Sasuke and I are going to wash his really dirty car...do you want to see the message someone wrote?" Naruto said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Sasuke = facepalm.

-

-

-

"What does it say?" Sakura said, led by Naruto, who held her wrist.

"You'll see," he giggled, Sasuke trudging behind his still-nearly-naked girlfriend.

Fuck masturbation.

He was going to do her, whether she liked it or not.

-

-

-

"I wish my girlfriend was this dirty?" Sakura read, her mouth in an 'o' shape.

Sasuke was about to kill himself.

As in, have Sakura take his keys, drive the car, and then run him over.

And then cry.

Then, he heard her laughing.

"That is so funny!" she said, catching her breath. He could see a glimpse of her pink panties.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, smirking, and apparently, Naruto noticed it too.

He didn't mind his best friend hitting on her. Because she would never go to Naruto. And who could resist Sakura's beauty?

Mm.

-

-

-

Naruto removed his shirt, along with Sasuke. Using hoses, sponges, and buckets, they began scrub-a-dub-dubbing.

"I'm going to go inside and eat chocolate. Bye-bye, Sasuke-kun, Naruto!" she waved, Sasuke's shirt a bit tucked in to her panties.

Sasuke stared at his girlfriend, while Naruto blasted him with the hose.

"Gotcha!" he squealed, as Sasuke smirked and poured a bucket of water on him.

-

-

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"Tootsie Rolls, Milk Duds, Milky Way, Hershey Chocolates...ooh! Lindt! My favorite!" Sakura squealed as she opened the package and tasted the sweetness.

She lied down on the couch, her stomach cramping less.

Her period lasted about three days, at the most, unlike other girls.

...Mm...

-

-

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"That's the last of it, teme!" Naruto said, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

"Hn," he smirked back, using the hose to blast water at him.

Naruto shrieked. "HEY! Teme! Back off! Garble garble."

Sasuke chuckled, and marveled his clean car.

The two friends walked back to the Uchiha's apartment together, only to find out that a flock of geese were traveling and had done their "business" there.

Along with the sudden dirt pouring on it. Again.

And then fangirls rubbing up against it, inhaling Sasuke's scent.

Fuck.

-

-

-

"We'll do it later," Naruto said, grabbing his friend's wrist and pulling him inside.

They saw Sakura, still in a shirt.

"Hi, boys. Do you want anything to eat?" she asked, taking out one of her boyfriend's frying pans.

"Ramen!" Naruto exclaimed, jumping up and down like a little kid. (Which, in fact, he was.)

"Tomatoes."

Sakura smiled. "Coming right up!"

And as the two men stared at her backside, Naruto whispered, "You know, she would be really hot in a Kiss the Cook apron."

"Hn."

-

-

-

"Yummy, Sakura-chan! That was the best ramen ever!" Naruto said as he wiped his mouth. She giggled.

"Thanks, Naruto."

Sasuke hned, taking a bite out of his third tomato. Sakura kissed him on the cheek, then took Naruto's empty bowl to clean.

"Well, I've got to get going. Bye-bye teme! Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, waving as he left.

Sakura smiled until she heard a scream. And then multiple thumps.

"Did he fall down the stairs again?" she asked.

"He sure did, Sakura. He sure did."

-

-

-

"I'm gonna go take a nap," Sasuke yawned, taking one of his blankets and resting himself on the couch.

"Good night," Sakura smiled, kissing his forehead, her pink locks tickling his cheeks.

He smirked, eyes closed. "Hn."

Sakura then took a quick look at her charming boyfriend, then walked over to his room to change clothes.

-

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2 Hours Later

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-

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Sasuke rubbed his eyes, fully awake. "Sakura?" he called out.

No response.

"Sakura?" he said again, pushing the blanket off of him.

Silence.

Sasuke's brain turned on the switch: PANIC MODE.

"Sakura!" he screamed.

He then rushed to the countertop and began dialing her phone number.

Then he saw it.

A note.

Come outside when you're awake.

Love always,

Sakura xoxo

He sighed in relief, knowing that she was okay. Taking his keys, he sped out the door and into the driveway.

-

-

-

Sasuke's eyes widened, and he dropped his keys.

She was on top of his once again filthy, filthy car, wearing only her lacy red bra and matching g-string.

Holding a hose, she pretended to "cover" herself with her arm, blushing, acting embarrassed.

Her legs were pushed together, so that he could see that tiny bit of red covering her womanhood.

"I--Sakura?! What the hell?!" Sasuke nearly screamed.

She simply smiled, her index finger on her chin.

"Car wash, Sasuke-kun?"


blahhhh.

anyway. school sucks. i hate my gym teachers. and DUDES. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 114 REVIEWS. ILY. ILY, ILY, ILY.

oh, and there's another FML story copying my idea. kinda. it's called FML by vicki the mermaid princess. and, well. yeah.

so. r&r, plawks?

I LOVE YOU GUYS.

-ohh, &&xena