Hey y'all thank you so much for the reviews, you guys are the best! And as usual all the props go out to my Bestest Beta Bud.
I'll let y'all in on a little secret. I've spent many an hour driving myself and others to near madness the last few days with the recent spate of spoilers! Suffice it to say that I've decided to really get into the nitty gritty of these two's relationship while advancing the plot as of Chapter 10 which I won't be able to write until after I've seen this week's episode.
Chapter 9 - Disarm
Kate punched the pillow in a fit of frustration, she couldn't get comfortable and it was driving her crazy.
Sighing angrily she flipped on her back and glared at the canopy roof of her bed. The sounds of laughter as the kids ran around in the hallway aggravating their father who was trying to get them to sleep weren't helping either.
Pulling a pillow over her head she screamed into it, kicking her legs in a real temper tantrum.
"Why's Kate sleepin' so early Papa? Is she sick?" David asked his father, his dark blue eyes searching his father's face.
"Yeah DC she's kinda sick. She needs to get some rest so y'all gotta quit wailin' and get into bed." James warned them, as he ushered the wayward children into their bedroom.
Ali already in her Mulan pajamas was jumping up and down on her bed then leaping onto Tristan's while her brother jumped onto hers.
"Look at us Papa! Tree an' I are like Trapeasy artists!" Ali exclaimed as she leapt back onto her bed and together with Tristan they bounced over onto his bed.
"Ali, Tristan, quit it, you'll fall an' bust your heads open!" James called out as he held onto a fidgeting David who was trying to avoid the thorough rubdown James was giving his wet hair.
"No!" Ali yelled as she hopped onto David's bed, jumping up and down with wild abandon. Tristan gave his father an apologetic shrug and followed his sister's lead, leaping onto Drew's bed and they continued their unified gymnastic act.
"Hey stupid get off my bed!" Drew protested when Ali started jumping on his bed, he came in from Mel's room at a run.
James caught him by the collar with one hand while he still held onto David who had tried to use the confusion to escape.
"Not so fast!" James chided with a grim smile.
"Ha ha, I'm jumpin' on your bed an' there's nothin' you can do about it!" Ali taunted Drew, her cheeks flushed as her pigtail braids bounced in the air.
"Ali I said that's enough. You've proven your point now stop it 'fore I spank you." James warned as he held on tenaciously to the two wriggling boys.
Tristan, recognizing his father's tone, stopped jumping and climbed off the bed to go and sit on his own bed.
Ali who was preparing to make a scene lost her footing and falling sideways banged her head on the foot of the bed. Sitting up as soon as she felt the impact of her fall she automatically brought her hand up to her ear and rubbed it frantically, tears forming in her large hazel eyes.
Tristan and Drew instantaneously went to their sister, one child patting her shoulder while the other one looked for blood. They were both shushing her in order to prevent their father lecturing her.
James keeping an eagle eye on the trio knelt and turned David to face him. The little boy smiled at his father mischievously and James smiled right back at him; he was the only one of the children with freckles and James rubbed at them vigorously eliciting a laughing protest from the little boy.
"Okay, Fords you've got to the count of three to get into your beds! One! Two! Three!" James called out as Melanie and Vivienne stepped into the room. The children all scampered into their beds, burrowing under the covers they looked at the three adults with expectation.
Vivienne who had changed into black silk pajamas and a matching robe approached the four beds and pulled the rocking chair next to Tristan's bed which was on the end.
"Kiss Mel and Papa goodnight kids, I've got an extra special bedtime story for y'all tonight."
"Which one Nana?" Ali enquired in a slightly subdued voice, there were still unshed tears in her eyes but otherwise she seemed fine.
James leaned down and kissed them all goodnight; lingering to plant a soft kiss on Ali's injured ear she hugged her father fiercely, not taking her eyes off her great-grandmother.
"I am going to tell you about the legend of Melusine I haven't told you that one yet, have I darlings?"
"No." The children breathed unanimously.
Melanie went over to kiss and hug the children as James made to leave the room.
"Why isn't Kate kissin' us goodnight Papa?" Tristan called out to his father.
James turned to look at the four upturned faces that resembled their mother's to varying degrees. James nervously brought his thumb up to his forehead and rubbed away at a non-existent frown.
"She's sleepin' already Tree you want me to go wake her up?"
"Yes." Tristan answered bluntly.
"Uh-"
"Babylove I'm an old bag o' bones you going to shave a year off my life by keeping me up longer because you want to terrorize your Daddy an' that poor sleeping woman?" Vivienne interrupted, staring at her great-grandson sternly.
"No Nana! I want you to live forever!" Tristan protested, his green eyes widening with fear.
"Yeah Nana, we all do!" Chimed the triplets, clambering out of their beds they snuggled into Tristan's to be closer to their great-grandmother.
"Okay then so no more talk of waking people up. The story about the green-eyed enchantress that left her children, drove her husband crazy and spawned many kings isn't going to tell itself." Viv said her tone brooking no further discussion.
Mel got into bed with the children, seating Tristan on her lap; the triplets pushed and shoved each other vying for a comfortable position too. James looked at his children one last time and left the room, closing the door silently behind him. He winced inwardly at Viv's story choice; but he didn't dare say anything to the battle-ax.
A few hours later
Kate sighed in agitation. The rest of the house had gone quiet; she'd heard Viv and Mel laughing softly as they had gone to bed. And she had noted that James after Tristan's question that she had heard clearly through the walls; must have disappeared to his own bedroom. Kate frowned into the dark wondering why she even cared that James had sounded oddly devastated by his son's innocent question.
'Why do I care about him and his storybook life?' Kate asked herself irritably. She had her own incredibly screwed up and unhappy life to worry about. Thankfully the physical effects of the withdrawal she'd been going through appeared to be finally over.
She could positively identify and remember most of the things that had happened up until the day she had argued about feeling guilty with James. The rest was a jumble interspersed with screams and the images of needles and tubes. Kate brought her hands up to cover her eyes but there was no escape from the unnerving hum of the mixed up pictures and sounds chugging through her brain like an express train. She gritted her teeth and let out a sharp cry of pain. Tears trickled down her face silently, she didn't know if she could bear this or if the memories that lay just out of her reach were going to be worth it. James was holding out on her and she didn't know if she should be here trusting him as much as she was; when she couldn't trust Jack or Juliet.
She saw her door push open silently and sat up in bed, fear making her heart race she wiped at her eyes quickly. James shut the door behind him, and approached the bed where Kate watched him warily. Peeking through the wispy canopy curtains he saw her green eyes gleaming in the moonlight. She visibly relaxed when she saw him drag a chair over to the side of the bed.
She watched him with interest when he sat down in the chair and looked up at her with a sympathetic look on his face. 'Oh how the roles have reversed!' Kate thought sarcastically.
"You left the dinner table like the hounds of hell were after you." James said at last.
"Who says they weren't." Kate replied evasively.
James made a face and brought his hand up to rest on the coverlet, staring at the appendage that was a mere inch from Kate's thigh. She squirmed slightly; turning over onto her side so she was facing him she used one hand to draw the cover up to her chest while she propped her head up with her left hand.
They stared at each other in the semi-darkness, neither one of them willing to break the silence in fear of what would come out next.
"You know one thing about you and me? We don't have to talk. You always seem to know exactly what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling. Sometimes even before I do." Kate observed.
"I hear you Freckles. But it would be nice if you just said it anyway sometimes." James said finally.
Kate tilted her head a little to look at him before she looked away; then sighing looked back at him.
"I feel awkward around them… like I'm on an invisible trial for a crime I don't know about and I'm in the witness stands trying to plead not guilty even though I am not sure if I am or not but they can see right through me."
"That's a mighty weird way to feel 'round a few four year olds." James remarked.
"Welcome to my world." Kate half-joked.
James didn't say anything; Kate relinquished her hold on the coverlet and brought her right hand down to intertwine with his.
"When I am here I feel scared but safe and welcome all at the same time."
James looked at their interlinked fingers and brought his expressive blue eyes up to meet hers. Their mutual contact was stirring embers that were still smoldering from earlier on. Kate smiled at him in silent understanding.
"So we had sex."
"Yep."
"Good to see we got all that sexual tension out of the way then." Kate dead-panned
James let out a snort of amusement, "Yep."
"How do you think things ended between us? Why do you think things ended?"
"Well seeing that you live with Jack-o now, things between you an' me must've ended real peachy, Peaches."
"Very funny Cowboy."
"I probably did somethin' stupid. Like refuse to let you call me Jack or shave my head an' cry like a girl." James finished off with a smirk.
"There is nothing wrong with being in touch with your feminine side!"
"Only way Jackass could be more in touch with his feminine side is if he started bleedin' every month." James snorted derisively.
Kate squeezed his hand as hard as she could.
"So Aunt Cassidy huh? Have you two been together long?" Kate asked archly. She smiled evilly at the death of James' snide grin; now that she had turned the tables.
"Hmm… Drew's got a big mouth, is that what you two were talkin' 'bout earlier?"
"He's sweet and talkative, but somehow a little more reserved than the other three." Kate defended the boy.
"Yeah that's my first born a master at disguising his own feelings… at such a young age too." James said with a combination of pride and concern.
"So how did they end up in the same kindergarten? Isn't Tristan younger than the triplets?" Kate asked conversationally.
"Yeah he is, but he's my little genius… I didn't want him to be left behind when the other three went to school so Viv an' I came up with somethin' to make sure they developed 'round the same age. Hell there's only 9 months between 'em anyway." James explained.
"Wow I'm surprised she let you anywhere near her so soon after you had three in one sitting. You know triplets run in my family? Do they run in yours?"
"Not triplets, my great-grandmother had quads an' she was a twin." James said a little irritably.
"Hmm, so it could have been worse. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off… so what did you come up with?" Kate asked a little sheepishly.
"Activities. Kept them out of trouble, an' helped stimulate their brains from an early age. Stuff like swimmin', fishin', games, arts an' crafts, not talkin' baby talk… It was exactly what they needed. Doctors recommend folks do that for kids with Downs an' all."
"You were worried he had Downs Syndrome?"
'No I was worried that they all had gotten brain damage when the sky turned purple.' James thought to himself.
"Hey, I'm a father, I worry 'bout everythin'." James shrugged defensively.
Kate ran a hand through her hair, not letting go of their intertwined hands she edged closer to him.
"I'm jealous."
"What the hell for?"
"Well… I chose Jack thinking I'd have this amazing and glamorous life with him. And the one that I turned down is the one with the things I never even realized I wanted so badly."
"What makes you think you turned me down? Maybe fate intervened an' we never got the chance to fall apart." James argued matter-of-factly.
"Maybe… or maybe you lied to me like you're doing now. You knew we slept together, you remembered the bear cages and how we left Jack behind with Them and you didn't say anything to me." Kate pressed an unspoken question in her voice.
He was silent for a long time and she wondered if he would make her beg him to tell her what he knew had happened to them. Now that she remembered it, she could not accept that they had just had the one day in the cages and that had been it. Neither could she accept that they would have just left Jack with the Others and not gone back to get him.
"I don't owe you any explanations an' if you feel like you can't trust me or that I have some kind of ulterior motive. Whatcha still doin' here?"
"Is that how it's going to be?" Kate asked in mounting anger.
"I have sketches of the bear cages 'cause Viv said it would help to put the things that were hauntin' me on paper. An' I certainly can't write poetry or anythin' like it to save my life." James revealed grudgingly.
He hated the gratitude in her eyes for his disclosure, and he turned his face away from hers slightly, studying their hands.
"I wonder why Juliet never suggested I draw some of the things I kept seeing." Kate mused out-loud.
"What's that now?"
"Juliet, as in Dr. Juliet Burke; she's my therapist, she suggested a diary but that's not a lot of help because everything is so mixed up. I wonder why she never thought of sketching."
James was silent but Kate could feel a violent anger radiating off him in waves.
"You know her before she started… treatin' you?"
"No. It's actually weird but when Jack first took me to her, I was so scared of her. Yet by the end of our first session I felt like I had known her forever and she was a friendly familiar face."
"You tell her 'bout me?" James asked
"Yes. I told her about my attraction to you in the boardroom in New York and I told her I saw you again last week."
"You tell her where I was?"
"Texas. Why are you so interested in what I told Juliet?"
"Is she blonde with blue eyes? Speak with a soft voice?" James pressed anxiously.
"Yes. Do you know her?"
"You'd never seen her before the rescue?" James asked her.
"No. Why?"
James didn't know what to think. She remembered the bear cages, Pickett, their escape and she couldn't remember Juliet? And what the hell was a fertility doctor doing pretending to be a therapist?
"Do me a favor. Don't tell her anythin' 'bout me or mine in your couch sessions." James said grimly.
"Why? What's going on? What happened between you and Juliet?"
"What happens between me an' most women Kate?" James asked sarcastically.
"She was a mark of yours." Kate concluded.
James didn't deny it, smiling at her tightly, he tried to pull his hand out of hers; Kate held on refusing to let him. He saw the disapproval in her eyes but he also saw something he had never seen before, acceptance.
"Okay we won't talk about it. Why don't you tell me what else you remember?"
"You want to tell me what else you remember?" James threw back at her.
Her green eyes which were identical to Tristan's; widened with hurt and she looked away from him still holding on to him. She finally forced herself to meet his eyes again and she saw that the intimacy they had shared earlier was gone, the same old walls were up and secure in his blue eyes. She was tired, her head was starting to ache and there were too many things she just was not sure of that were niggling at the back of her brain.
Kate smiled at him like he was naïve, "We don't need a chance to tear each other apart James. Just one look will do it."
James cocked an eyebrow at her, "Is that a fact?"
Kate tugged his hand and holding it to her chest burrowed into the covers, suddenly feeling the up until this moment elusive sleep making her eyelids very heavy.
"Yes it is." She said with a drowsy smile.
James looked down at her head with a fatigued smirk.
"Now shut up. And stay with me until I fall asleep." Kate ordered him, not even bothering to open her eyes.
James grunted in weak protest but found himself edging closer to the bed in order to relieve his arm a little. He brought a shaking hand up to run through her hair as she sighed softly.
'This woman is goin' to be the death of me.' James thought to himself with resignation.
