Nobody said it was easy.


Ash's eyes shot open and sat up quickly, panicking right there and then. Last night was over already? He couldn't have been home already. 'No. No. No…' He repeated in his head as his heart sped up. His eyesight was still adjusting to the darkness, so he couldn't recognize the room he was in yet.

But then he felt a warm presence wrap itself around his arm and heard a hushed sound. He looked to the direction of the noise and his eyes settled in more to see Gary.

"It's okay. You're still here."

Ash couldn't stop himself. The sobs escaped his throat and tears freely fell from his brown eyes. Without delay, Ash reached out for Gary's embrace, falling back into the mattress and crying into his chest, desperately clutching his shirt, his hands starting to shake. He felt the other's fingers lace themselves into his hair and his lips kiss the top of his head.

Still here. Still here. Why couldn't he stay here forever?

XX

An hour passed, and all the way through the crying never ceased. Words were never exchanged, aside from Gary's shushes to try and calm the boy's sobbing.

The room got a little brighter, the sunrise peaking through the blinds. It was almost time. Ash tried to blacken out the brightness by shutting his eyes tighter, burying his face into Gary's cinnamon scented shirt. He didn't want to forget this scent, nor leave it. He didn't want to leave the brunette's warmth that helped him sleep better every night. He didn't want to leave the brunette's kisses full of love.

He didn't want to leave any of it.

An alarm from Gary's phone set off, making Ash's eyes widen in surprise, then immediately closing them again because he knew he would have to move soon.

"Ash…" The taller boy tried to continue, but he trailed off, not knowing what to say to not make the situation worse. Instead he bit his lip before kissing the boy's forehead. But then he braved it out and said, "It's time."

Ash tried his best not to whine, tried his best to hold back the new tears. "What time is it?"

"It's 5:15. It's a twenty minute drive to the dock."

Finally, the raven-haired boy sighed and started moving away from the embrace. With every move away from Gary, his heart started hurting more and more.

For the next five minutes, Ash and Gary changed into fresh clothes, and Ash put the rest of everything else into his suitcase.

When Ash was seemingly finished, the brunette walked up to him and brought his hand up to his cheek, stroking it with his thumb. He leaned in to give Ash a kiss, one that he'll never forget. It was a long one, but when Ash clutched his shirt and stifled back a sob, he pulled away, resting his forehead against his.

"It'll be okay."

XX

When Ash had to say goodbye to Crystal and Dora, the little sister was probably just as worst as Ash in terms of sadness.

"I-It's been really nice…meeting you," the purple haired girl sniffed, curling her hands into fists as she tried terribly hard to hold back the glassy tears.

Ash bent down to Crystal's level, trying to stay strong for her sake. "Hey, you too…but don't worry, we'll see each other again! I guarantee it."

She could only nod as she stepped forward and gave Ash a tight hug, letting her tears fall then. Dora couldn't look, or else she would cry just as hard. She has never seen her sister so sad before.

When it was Dora's turn, she gave him a hug as well, saying with a sad smile, "It was such a pleasure having you around, Ash. We all needed your support and happiness for a while."

Ash smiled back, "Thanks for everything, Dora. It was nice to meet you both."

They pulled away, but not before Dora told him, "I can't wait to see you again."

Ash let out shaky breaths before picking up his suitcase and then walking outside with Gary to the car, giving the two sisters and the lab one last look. The suitcase was put in the trunk, and Pikachu and Umbreon were placed in the back seat, looking solemn, not liking how this was going.

The car started up and soon enough, they were driving to the dock.

All the while, Ash looked out the window, staring at the dark, gray skies. Within those skies, Ash recollected all of his memories from the past week, from the time he first entered Sinnoh all the way to last night. He remembered the passion him and Gary shared last night as if it was their last time together forever. He couldn't believe how fast the week went by, like a Metapod evolving into a Butterfree. He came here with a purpose, to distract Gary from any work, and it worked, but not without a few more benefits. Ash never imagined getting together with Gary – he didn't think it was even possible.

But it happened, and he was grateful for it. He just wished leaving didn't hurt so much. He wished Gary could go back to Kanto with him.

But wishes don't always come true. Especially the ones you wish for the most. But nobody said to stop trying.

Gary was clutching the wheel as he drove, as if he was holding onto his sanity. As calm as he looked on the outside, he was a complete wreck on the inside. He didn't want to break down in front of Ash like last time. He despised breaking down in front of people. He believed it showed nothing but weakness and Gary didn't go for weak. Also, he felt that he had to keep his composure so Ash wouldn't cry anymore or feel bad about anything. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

He honestly couldn't bare the fact that Ash had to leave. He never realized until this week how Ash made him forget all of his troubles. He realized that Ash made him feel that way ever since they became friends. With every obstacle he faced, Ash was there right beside him to support him. He was afraid that if Ash left, those obstacles would come back and overshadow him; that it would make him return to those suicidal thoughts.

He wanted to start a new life in Kanto already. He wanted to become a fully fledged pokémon researcher, with a nice house that he and Ash would live in, with maybe a couple kids throughout their future. He just wanted to be happy already.

But nobody said it was easy.

It was just another journey they would both have to overcome.

They reached the dock sooner than usual, unfortunately for them, but it gave them enough time to exchange one last goodbye.

Pikachu and Umbreon exchanged forlorn looks before their goodbye, the two pokémon somewhat giving each other a hug before they separated.

Ash and Gary were fixed into a long embrace, breathing in their scents deeply so they could store it in their minds. The shorter boy gripped Gary's shirt and closed his eyes tightly to prevent the tears from falling. He bit his tongue hard enough so he could stifle back any sobs or whimpers. He didn't realize it would be this difficult.

The ship blew its horn, signaling that it was about to leave soon and that all passengers should go on aboard immediately.

They pulled away, looking at the direction of the horn like it was the most devastating thing ever. Gary gave him one last kiss before saying,

"I love you. Be strong for me, okay?"

Ash couldn't speak. He could only nod.

He picked up the suitcase and gave Gary one last look before walking towards the entrance of the ship. But suddenly he stopped after he felt an immense pain coming from his chest. His heart was practically in his throat. He was shaking soon after and his breath felt like it was going to run out of air.

He couldn't do it.

"Hey," he heard Gary's voice from behind him and quickly ran back to him, hugging him deathly.

"I can't do it…I can't…l-leave. Please. Please," Ash whimpered. He hated sounding so helpless. He tried so hard to be strong for both Gary and himself, but he failed.

"Shh…calm down, Ash. It's going to be alright."

"How c-can you say that…?"

Then, Ash felt a familiar warmth against his lips and long fingers running across his unkempt hair. He returned the kiss as passionate as possible, wrapping his arms around his back, pulling him as close to him as possible. He could feel his panic dwindling down as the kiss continued to get deeper, their lips moving against each other in a fervent fashion.

Together, they felt complete. They felt as if they were the only ones in the world, with nothing to do but love each other.

Gary ended the kiss, his forehead now against the other boy's. "I can say that because it's true. Remember what I said, Ash. It's just another journey. I know it's a difficult one, but you just gotta stay strong, Ashy-boy…"

Ash sniffed, the wind blowing in his eyes and releasing all of his tears. He nodded, a way to show Gary that he understood. He gulped away his final string of panic as the brunette kissed his forehead.

"Come on, I'll walk you to the entrance."

Gary picked up Ash's suitcase and held onto Ash's hand firmly as they walked to the ship dock. Ash showed his ticket to the man and he accepted it. He turned around to face Gary as he grabbed his suitcase and let Pikachu perch itself onto Ash's shoulder.

The brunette wiped away a tear with his thumb as he played a sad smile on his face, "I'll see you, okay?"

"Okay," he nodded, and accepted one last short but chaste kiss from Gary.

Their hands separated, Ash got on the ship, the ship blew its parting horn, and it slowly drifted away to sea.

XX

Gary estimated that he stood on the dock for an extra ten minutes even after the ship was clearly out of sight. He pet Umbreon on the head and they both walked back to the car and drove back to the lab. When he got out of the car, he heard thunder in the distance. He prayed that Ash would make it home safely.

He walked in the lab, smelling breakfast in the air, but the thought of eating right now made him gag. Instead, he walked straight to his room and closed the door, similar to what he used to do before Ash even visited. He didn't want to become a hermit again, but at the moment, it was the only source of comfort he could find.

He grabbed his headphones and his music, turning it all the way up to drown out anything. An hour passed and the thundering became even louder, shaking the house a little. When a certain song came on, Gary couldn't hold it in anymore. He let the tears fall, but he bit his lips to stifle his sobs.

~No one ever said it would be this hard.


By the time Ash reached Vermilion City in Kanto, a rainstorm was occurring. The ship had made it just in time before they could face any troubles in the ocean.

Ash took no time into running, snuggling Pikachu in his vest to protect him from the hard water droplets. His face was already wet with tears, so the rain didn't really bother him much other than worsen his mood.

It took a while to finally reach his hometown, his legs burning and his throat dry and clenched up. He opened the door and dropped Pikachu, the pokémon letting out a shocked cry. But before it can complain about the solid fall, Ash had already ran upstairs to his bedroom.

"Ash? Ash!" Delia tried calling out to him, but Pikachu let out a whine, warning her. This only deepened her worries, but she let it go for now.

When Ash slammed the door behind him, he ripped off his vest and took off his pants so that he was only clad in his black shirt and navy boxers. He plopped on his bed, sobbing in relief because of his legs, but also in despair. It wasn't Gary's bed. It didn't have his scent on it. It was like reality slapped him hard in the face and called him stupid for thinking he could have a happy ever after.

He punched his pillow and then hugged it afterwards, hiding his face in it and away from the world.

~Oh, take me back to the start.