Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K Rowling!
Hey guys, so, thanks for everyone who reviewed and just to let you know, I'm going to do the sequel in Lily's perspective so we can have Lily's opinion of things. Anyway, here's chapter nine.
Read and review and constructive criticisms are appreciated. (I edited this chapter :D)
-imsonotagirl93 ;)
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Chapter 9: Jealous Much?
It was their Christmas vacation and James was still staring at nothing in particular… again. Honestly, without his parents, he would be all alone in the Manor and he didn't want to spend his Christmas holidays alone so the rest of the Marauder's (except for Peter, for the boy always spends his holidays with his mum) decided to remain at the school for the Holidays. Only a week to go and the new term will begin. What he said the night before term ended kept on running through his mind, as if the whole scene was on tape and the more often it played inside his mind the more stupid he looks and sounds.
He honestly can't believe that he had a sudden outburst like that. He sounded pathetic, even in his own ears. And for the first time, he was glad that Lily Evans was away for the holidays. But seriously, has the world gone mad? Because almost everything was odd this year: Sirius was not acting like a tactless prat, his friends were hiding something for him and he's the one avoiding Lily Evans now. Last thing he needs is a Severus Snape hanging out with the Marauders.
The three Marauders were sitting in their dormitory. Remus and Sirius were playing exploding snap and James was paying no attention to them. They knew better than to disturb him in a state like this, Sirius knew that he still couldn't let the thing he heard go.
As he watched the snow fall, he remembered something he heard as he eavesdropped with Mary and Lily's conversation.
Remus and Mary's relationship status.
"Hey, Moony!" he said, trying his hardest to steer his thoughts away, he could use some distraction at the moment.
"What?" asked Remus after a moment as Sirius won the game.
"What's up with you and Mary?" As he said it, Sirius let out a whoop of interest and said,
"Yeah, you went to Hogsmeade together, right?" asked Sirius and anticipation was clear in his voice and James' eyebrows were rising. Remus rolled his eyes exasperatedly but didn't answer them. When the silence from Remus lengthened, James sighed and said,
"Oh come on, Moony! Are you dating or not?"
"No," answered Remus simply. James and Sirius sighed and shook their heads.
"Yeah, right. You went to Hogsmeade together!" said Sirius as James nodded his agreement.
Remus chuckled softly. "We're just friends, I'm tutoring her actually and it was Hogsmeade weekend, so, I figured that we could do the tutoring in the village so we couldn't miss the fun," he said as he opened a book and began reading it.
"What? You liked her!" said James. Remus looked up from his book, looking irritated because of disturbing him while reading.
"Yes I did, but it was nothing, it was just a little crush," said Remus as a faint flush crept up
"What? What do you mean?" asked Sirius and James could only look at Remus, bewildered. Just a crush? But that was for first years.
"That's for first years!" said Sirius as Remus rolled his eyes.
"It is nothing more than a crush. And she really needs tutoring in her Potions work," said Remus, his tone making it clear that he should not be disturbed while he cheek and he quickly looked back down his book.
So, James was back to his same boring day. With his distraction gone, he thoughts went back to Lily. The day passed by, with Remus reading as Sirius and James stared at everything inside their dormitory.
The whole week passed, with the three Marauders occasionally sneaking out to the kitchens or roaming around the castle. Lily came back before term started but James made no effort to approach or talk to her and he was glad that she, too, was avoiding him. Occasionally, their eyes would meet but the two would quickly look away.
During breakfast, as term started, James was interrupted by a nudge in the ribs. He looked up to see Sirius pointing down the Gryffindor table, towards Lily Evans and Mary Macdonald's seat. He wondered what was he supposed to look at and he turned to Sirius with raised eyebrows. Is this some kind of plot to get him to talk to Lily again? Because Sirius has been bugging him about it for ages.
Only it wasn't a plot because he saw a tall boy, with blond hair and blue eyes, making his way towards Lily's seat from the Ravenclaw table. Ethan Sparks, a seventh-year prefect and Quidditch captain. He was quite handsome and a nice bloke.
It felt like his blood was boiling in anger as jealousy crept up inside him. He saw Sparks take a seat beside Lily. They seemed to be having a conversation. He grinned at her and James was bewildered to see Lily grinning back. He clenched his fist and glared at the sight, jealousy was already filling him. Unable to take it anymore, he stood up and walked towards them. Sparks was about to say something to Lily when he stopped in front of them and coughed pointedly.
Sparks and Lily looked up at him. He chanced a glance at Lily and saw something in her expression that he couldn't put a finger on. He willed his eyes away from her and stared at Sparks who greeted him.
"Hey James-" but his greeting was soon cut off by James.
"Oi, Sparks," and Sparks winced at the toughness in his voice, "You're a Ravenclaw, right? Not a Gryffindor, so if I were you, I'd go back to my House Table right now, unless you want detention," he said, trying to put as much authority that he could muster. He could feel the other Gryffindors staring at him but he didn't look at them to see their expression, though he guessed they were shocked, for this was the first time that James acted like an authority figure.
Sparks glared at him and gave him a curt nod as he stood up and made his way to the Ravenclaw table. And without a glance or a word to Lily he went out of the Great Hall, scowling. He needed to keep a close watch on him or he might ask Lily out, and he couldn't risk that happening. Yes, you can say that he's a bit possessive, but he, James avoiding Lily doesn't necessarily mean that he stopped liking her.
He made his way towards the Transfiguration classroom and sat on the back of the room. The rest of the class arrived after a few minutes and he saw Sirius sit beside him. He watched Lily as she entered the room and took her usual seat in the front of the class.
Avoiding her seemed to be much harder now, what with Sparks going after her, the urge to talk to her and be her friend again was becoming stronger and stronger. The class soon started and James paid no attention at all as his mind formed some kind of argument between two things.
Be friends with Lily again and live with the fact that they'll only be friends or continue avoiding her and watch her go out with Sparks.
Both would be bad for him. If he stayed friends with Lily he'll have to live with the fact that they'll only be friends but if he avoided her, he'll have to endure the fact that Sparks would eventually ask her out and Lily would be likely to accept it. Sparks was a nice bloke and James was nice to him… until he decided to like Lily Evans. In Lily's standards, she'll probably think that Sparks was way better than him.
He was in Ravenclaw, which only means that he, too, was smart, though James was smart too. He was Quidditch Captain and was as good as James. He was a lot nicer than James and he couldn't help but think that Lily would agree to go out with him.
He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he didn't even understand the stuff that Sirius was telling him and he made no effort to ask Sirius to clarify them either. After a few minutes, Sirius finally gave up on the idea of talking to him and stayed unusually quiet throughout the whole class.
Transfiguration and Charms passed by in a dash as James was still preoccupied by his thoughts. So, as everybody went down to the Great Hall for lunch, he made a quick stop at his dormitory and grabbed the Marauder's Map from his trunk to look for Ethan Sparks' dot.
To his delight, he was nowhere near Lily, who was in the Great Hall. He found Sparks' dot in the Library. He muttered, "Mischief Managed," and tapped the parchment with his wand as the ink began to fade. He tossed it in his trunk and ran out of his dormitory.
He ran to the Library, ignoring the portraits' shouts and complaints of loud footsteps. When he entered the Library, he spotted him immediately. He was sitting at a table near bookshelves reading their Transfiguration book, "Transfiguration through the Ages." James didn't know why many people have trouble in this subject, but like flying, his talent in transfiguration came naturally to him.
He walked slowly towards Sparks, pulled the chair beside him, and sat down. Sparks gave him a questioning look before returning back to reading his book.
"Hey," he said to catch Sparks' attention again.
"Hey?" answered Sparks, his tone making it clear that he still haven't forgotten what he did a while ago, during breakfast.
"Listen… can I talk to you?"
Sparks nodded curtly. James took a deep breath; he couldn't see how he could explain to him to stay away from Lily nicely.
"Ethan, Listen…" but his voice trailed off. How would he tell him to stay away from Lily without picking up a fight, especially in the library?
"What do you want, James? Just this morning you were glaring at me like I was some Slytherin you hate, but now you're talking to me,"
James sighed. "Lily," he stated simply and he felt anger rise inside him when Sparks chuckled humorlessly.
"What about her?" he asked as a hint of a smirk became evident on his face.
"You know, I'm going to be straight: Get away from her," he hissed, no longer holding on to his patience.
Sparks' smirk became more pronounced. "Now, why would I do that?"
"Get away from her," he hissed again, but this time he made sure that his voice was filled with hatred as his hand twitched towards his wand.
"Look, it's your fault. I've been waiting for you to back of for ages and now that you have, do you really think that I'll let that opportunity pass just like that?" he hissed back, with that, he stood up, grabbed his books and left. He grabbed his wrist to prevent him from leaving. If they weren't in the library, James probably would've hexed him right now.
"I'm just going to say this one last time, Sparks," he said, his voice filled with venom as he glared at Sparks. "Get away from her or else."
"Or else- what, Potter? Just because you can't get her to go out with you, doesn't mean that I can't, Potter," he said and wrenched his wrist free from James' grasp. James just stood there, horrified. How could he stop Sparks from asking Lily out? He knows that he's actually acting like an over-protective git but he really couldn't help it. Hell, he's actually acting like Lily's boyfriend but actually he's not, he's just this bloke who's poring over her for ages.
He thought of someone who could help him. Sirius? No, he'll probably make fun of him and convince him to talk to Lily again, not that he wasn't considering that idea now. Remus? No, he's too smart, and he actually can't think that he could take his lectures now, it tends to get boring actually, besides, Remus doesn't know much about girls, he just advices him to drop his attitude.
Then his answer came to him. Mary! Of course, she would be perfect. She's a girl, so obviously she'll know about what he'll do and she's Lily best friend. He's sure that she'll know what to do and help him somehow.
So he rushed back to the Great Hall, hoping that Mary was still there. He searched the Gryffindor table for her; he noticed that the Marauders were nowhere to be seen and James doesn't have the time to ponder where they could've gone. To his delight, he found Mary still there, just leaving her seat.
He grabbed her arm to stop her and Mary, upon seeing his worried expression gave him a questioning look.
"Mary, I need your help," he said.
"My help? For what?" asked Mary.
"Listen, you know Ethan Sparks, right?" he asked and Mary nodded and began to say, "He talked-" but James cut her off. "Good…"
And he told Mary about his dilemma. By the end of his speech, Mary was shaking her head. James was confused by her actions.
"What?" he asked.
"James, if you don't want Ethan to ask her out, why don't you just talk to her?"
"Well… I- I can't tell you… Just- will you help me please?" pleaded James. Mary seemed to be considering something and there was a smile on her face. The smile was confusing because James couldn't see why she was smiling at this time. But before he could voice his confusion, Mary agreed.
"Okay, what do you want me to do?"
The next day, during Charms with Ravenclaws, James saw Lily and Mary seating on a table together and James sat from two seats behind them. He watched Lily reading her book for a while. He glared at Sparks as he entered the classroom and made his way to Lily and Mary's table.
He gave Mary a meaningful look and she nodded. Just as Sparks was a few steps away from their table, Mary grabbed a Ravenclaw girl, with brown hair tied up into a ponytail, randomly and pushed her down to the remaining seat, leaving no space for Sparks.
"Sorry, Ethan. This seat's taken," said Mary at a disgruntled Sparks and James couldn't help but smirk at him as Sparks glared back. This was actually fun.
The whole day passes by so quickly, with Mary still getting Ethan away from Lily during classes, lunch, free period.
James was really satisfied as he sat in his dormitory, reading Quidditch through the Ages. He was alone with Sirius in the dormitory as Remus was helping Mary with her Potions essay in the common room and Peter studied with them.
"Come on, James," said Sirius. "Let's just go down to the common room with the others."
"No, you go," said James. He knew that Sirius just wanted him to talk to Lily again, because Lily was there in the common room and who knows how awkward it could get?
"Fine," said Sirius. He didn't really want to go anywhere without James because they barely saw each other today. They just sat there for a few minutes, as James started to work on his DADA homework and Sirius looked out from their window.
"Why don't you just talk to Evans?" asked Sirius, looking for something to do.
"I just can't," answered James shortly. He could see Sirius shaking his head.
"Why?" he pressed on.
"I don't know…" actually he knew it was a bit childish, which was one of the factors that Lily hates about him but what else could he do? He just couldn't fool himself that he still had a chance. "I'm too embarrassed, I guess."
"Why?" he asked again.
James sighed exasperatedly. "You know why," he said. Sirius nodded and, to James' delight, said no more on the subject.
"You know what?" said Sirius, his voice full of impatience.
"What?" asked James looking up from his essay.
Sirius sighed and in a dash, pulled out his wand and muttered, "Mobiliarbus!"
"Hey!" he complained as his feet hovered, inches from the floor. "Get me down Sirius!"
"Thinking, thinking…" he said, putting on falsely concentrating expression as he stroked his chin, "No, I don't think I will," said Sirius in a cheery voice.
James glared at him as Sirius led him to the staircase with his wand, down to the common room. It was almost empty, except for the group of people by the fireplace and Sirius led him towards them.
"What're you guys doing?" asked Remus.
"Ah, I'm just getting Prongs to get down here. The more the merrier!" said Sirius as he let James hover in mid-air for a moment.
"Sirius Let me down!" he growled, "I was doing my essay!"
"And there's no better place to do it than here!" remarked Sirius happily.
"But my essay's in the dormitories, you idiot!" said James, glaring at Sirius as the others returned to their work and paid no attention to them. Except for Lily who didn't looked up from her work at all.
Sirius sighed and with a flick of his wand, Sirius dropped James on an armchair across Lily.
"Accio, James' Essay!" Sure enough, James' essay and quill zoomed towards them. The parchment and the quill landed on the table in front of James. He stared at it for a moment as irritation bubbled inside him.
"How would I do my essay? You didn't get me the ink!" he said and Sirius chuckled softly.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" said Sirius and something in his voice made James think that he did it on purpose. He glared at Sirius, who only smiled back. "Here, you can share with Evans," he said. James immediately felt his face heat up as Sirius grabbed the ink bottle from Lily and placed it in front of them, in the middle of the table, so the two could have access with it.
"Hey, give that back!" said Lily as she tried to snatch the ink bottle back but Sirius shoved her hand away. Lily glared menacingly at him though James was surprised to see that her cheeks turned pink.
"What?" said James in a deadly calm voice as he turned a faint shade of pink, but Sirius was not intimidated, instead, he just smirked at him.
"Do you want to finish your essay or not?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
James stared at his half-done essay, which he really needed to finish now. He considered the moment. He was only going to share the ink, right? He didn't have to talk to her, so it wouldn't be awkward at all. He could feel Lily's eyes on him as he considered.
"Fine," he said and dipped his quill in the ink bottle. As he began to write, Remus yawned hugely. James looked up at him.
"I guess I should go to bed," he said to Mary and she nodded, then he turned to Sirius. "Coming, Sirius, Peter?" he asked.
"Sure," said Sirius and Peter nodded. "'Night, Prongs!" and the three stood up and strode off to the staircase.
James began to work silently in his essay. After a few minutes, he heard Mary yawn hugely.
"I think I'm going to bed, See you later," she said to Lily, then she waved at James and walked off to the girls' dormitory. James looked back at Lily and their eyes locked.
"I guess it's only the two of us here," muttered Lily as she looked down.
"Yeah," said James as he got back to work too.
"You know, if you're going to get Ethan Sparks away from me, you'll have to do a better job," stated Lily. James was taken aback, did she mean…? No, of course, she doesn't, right? James looked at her and saw that she was looking straight into his eyes and James couldn't do anything but to look back.
"What do you mean?" asked James, beginning to get nervous.
Lily let out a soft chuckle and James was staring at her incredulously. Why the hell was she chuckling?
"He already asked me, you know-" she said quietly. James' face fell and a small, "Oh," escaped his lips. Of course, she'll say yes-
But his thoughts were interrupted when she continued her sentence, "-and I said 'no',"
James' insides seemed to be screaming with happiness. She said no! That could've been the best sentence in the world, if it's not directed to him, of course.
"Really, why? When?" he tried to keep the happiness from his voice, but didn't quite manage it. He just hoped that Lily didn't notice the happiness in his voice.
Lily shrugged, leaving James to ponder why Lily didn't agree to go out with him. Ethan Sparks was a nice bloke, even he admits it. So, why did she refuse?
"He asked during lunch yesterday…" she said, leaving James confused.
"But… Mary- Why? Huh?" he asked. Why did Mary agreed to help him if she knew that Sparks already asked Lily out, why did she even agree to help him out? Couldn't she just tell him that "Don't worry, Lily turned him down,"?
To his surprise, Lily laughed. "Oh that, she said it was really funny to see you like that," she said and James started laughing, their essays completely forgotten. He actually missed this, having conversations with Lily without shouting at each other. Then suddenly, he remembered with a jolt, who he was talking to: Lily Evans. But surely, this was okay, right? Just one conversation won't hurt, right?
But just to be sure, his let his laughter fade and started on his work again. After a few seconds, Lily's laughter quieting and for a moment, there was a long lapse of silence, where the scratching of their quills were the only sound that was heard. After a few minutes, the sound of Lily's quill stopped and for a second he thought that she was done. She was really fast in these things, after all. He wasn't even finished yet. But then she asked something that made his attention steer away from his essay.
"Can I ask you something?" she said, seriousness was dripping with every word she said as she eyed him.
"What?" he asked as curiosity overwhelmed him.
"Why are you avoiding me?" the question completely caught James off guard. What would he answer? I heard you saying that we were only friends and because of that stupid outburst and because I love you? Yeah, that will be a great answer, except for the fact that Lily might hex him to oblivion if he said that.
Unable to think of something to answer, he just shrugged and returned to his work, though this time, he was finding it hard to concentrate.
"Is that because of that patrol night?" she asked.
James hesitated. Then he finally looked at her and nodded shortly. Lily just raised her eyebrows, as if expecting him to elaborate more. James finally sighed.
"Look, could we just…" James thought of a possible solution. "Forget that it ever happened?" he asked. Now, he just felt stupid, why didn't he think of that before?
"Good, 'cause I don't want to remember it either." Said Lily as she smiled at him and James felt a grin tug on his face.
"Deal?" said James, holding out his hand.
"Deal," said Lily, reaching out to shake his hand. As soon as her hand made contact with his, he felt goosebumps erupt from it. Lily quickly let go of his hand and James could feel that his hand's temperature was a little higher than the other parts of his body.
"I'm finished, you can give me back my ink bottle tomorrow, 'night, James," she said as she stood up, gathered her things and walked away. James looked taken aback for a moment, then his mouth spread into a grin. Lily Evans called him James! James waved at her, still grinning.
"G'Night, Lily," he said and Lily beamed at him.
He couldn't believe this, he was actually friends with Lily again and all it took was a friendly conversation. Now that he though of it, he really was acting like a child. Besides, if they become close friends, she might forget that bloke she likes. Now that he thought of it, maybe that bloke was really the reason why she refused to go out with Sparks. But this time, he didn't care if they were just friends, being friends was still better than nothing, right?
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Sorry for not updating in almost two weeks when many of you requested to update sooner, anyway, did you like it or hate it? Just review please! I'd really appreciate it if you point out some faults, just do it nicely, please! :D
