Chapter 9:

Clarke stood in front of the gate of camp Jaha. She took a deep breath, knowing the stress and pain she is about to face. She walked through the camps open gates and a few guards pointed their guns at her, but didn't stop her. They did if for safety reasons because they didn't know the kind of stunts Clarke would pull. She kept walking and spotted Bellamy and Octavia sitting next to a tree on the far side of the camp.

"Shit." Clarke whispered to herself as she stopped in her tracks staring at Octavia. Neither Bellamy nor Octavia spotted Clarke, so all that left her with to do was just stand, stare, and contemplate her next move. The last person Clarke wanted to run into was Octavia, and yet she is sitting next to the only person that Clarke wants to see. Clarke's breathing got heavier as she decided to take a leap of faith and just walk over to the tree. Octavia was the first to notice her and she alertly stood up. Clarke stopped a few feet away from her and showed her hands in surrender.

"I just want to talk to Bellamy." Clarke said. Octavia lunged at Clarke, but didn't hit her.

"He doesn't want to see you." Octavia answered for Bellamy. Bellamy then stood up and pushed Octavia out of the way.

"I can speak for myself, Octavia." Bellamy said and Octavia turned her full attention towards him.

"You're not actually telling me that you want to speak to her, are you?" Octavia judgmentally questioned. Bellamy looked at Clarke then at Octavia.

"Just for a moment." Bellamy answered and Clarke was completely shocked that it was that easy to be able to at least talk to him. But, Clarke was not as shocked at Octavia.

"Bell! This bitch broke your heart and cheated on you. Why the hell do you still want to speak to her!?" Octavia yelled at Bellamy.

"O, you need to leave. Trust me, I'm fine. I got this." Bellamy sternly assured Octavia and she left after giving Clarke a nasty scowl.

"What do you want, Clarke?" Bellamy questioned, folding his arms.

"Um," Clarke began, but suddenly found herself speechless, "I don't know. I just wanted to make amends, I guess." Clarke said, her voice cracking in a few places.

"Amends?!," Bellamy laughed, "You want to make amends with me. Clarke, do you remember what you did to me? You're lucky that I even agreed to speak with you." Clarke looked down at the ground.

"I know. I just wanted to let you know that my actions had nothing to do with you. You did nothing to make me want to do that. I did it out of my own desire." Clarke spoke.

"I sort of figured when you decided to cheat on me with a woman." Bellamy said.

"It's not that I was bored with you or wanted to try something new. But, I am going to be completely honest even though it might make you feel worse. I have never been attracted to anyone like I was to her, am to her."

"You're right, Clarke, that didn't help at all."

"Just let me finish. I love Lexa. I'm in love with Lexa. But, I still love you. I am not sure what that means yet, but I do. And even though I love you, I want to let you go. To do that, I need to explain myself to you. And I know that you are still in love with me even after what I've done. So, we need to move on, Bellamy." Clarke said looking into Bellamy's wet eyes.

"You're right. I'm still in love with you and still want to be with you. But I also hate you. So let me ask you this, if you could go back in time and fix it, would you?"

"No, I wouldn't." Clarke answered without thinking. She needs to be true to herself, not say what would make Bellamy happy.

"If you could go back in time and not date me, would you?" Bellamy asked as tears began to spill from his eyes.

"Nope. I would never change what happened between us. It was amazing and beautiful. But people change and people grow. Things come to an end. That is what happened with us. And I know that cheating on you was wrong, I know that. But I would have broken up with you either way." Clarke said as tear spilled from her eyes. Bellamy nodded understandingly. "Take care of our people, Bell." Clarke added, taking the last opportunity to call him that. Clarke gave him a meaningful nod before she began to walk away.

"May we meet again." Bellamy added which only made Clarke's tears fall faster. She looked back at him and nodded again because she wasn't going to be able to say anything with the lump in her throat. When Clarke left camp Jaha, she decided to stay in the forest again. Clarke lay down under a tree and looked up at the stars. She remembered the time before the war when her and Lexa did this. It felt like no one else was there because no one else mattered. As Clarke thought some more, she felt a huge weight lift off her chest. Finally, she had let Bellamy go. Finally, she can be with Lexa and just Lexa. Finally, she can be guilt free and happy. Finally, she can love the person that she is supposed to love. As she was walking off the camp that she used to lead, her mother saw her.

"Clarke, what were you thinking?" Abby asked but Clarke just ignored her. "Clarke answer me right now."

"Why should I? I don't need to explain myself to you. You kicked me out and you know what, I don't want to be here anyways."

"Clarke, I'm sorry but you shouldn't have done what you did."

"Yea, mom, I've heard that before. But your my mother, the one person who is supposed to stand by me no matter what. But look at you, you're nothing but a coward."

*Here's chapter 9! Thank you all for being so patient! My life has been really crazy lately. Feel free to comment! :)*