I do not own The Outsiders. Evie's Pov.

Inspiration- Fuckin Perfect by Pink. Watch music video, so amazing.

Ps- The free verse thing was just something I found in my old journal while going over it. Not your thing? Don't read, it has zero meaning to the story other than relevance.

. . .

Numbers on the scale

turning too far

being too big

for someone to love,

for me to love.

Hatred

flows

down my face

in warm tears,

hatred at myself.

Why

did I let this happen?

Why

does God hate me?

Why

do I hate me?

Why

am I even here?

. . .

Inhale.

My hands were shaking. I could barely breath. 145 pounds. A monster inside me appears, its cruel laugh fills me. When did this happen? I fight to remember the last time I weighed myself but can't. How long have I been like this? How did I not realize until now?

Exhale.

Tears stream down my face. I can't remove my eyes away from the scale. What do other people weigh? How much do I need to lose? The monster snarls and bites me, urging me forwards.

Inhale.

I move my gaze up. I can do this. I can get skinny. I can get Evie back. The monster stiffens inside me, unsure if I my words are trustworthy.

Exhale.

I wipe the tears off my cheeks. How? The monster growls, and slowly tucks itself away in a corner, eyeing me carefully, ready to pounce if the wrong desicion is made, but for now it's just watching.

I dress myself slowly, pulling on my skirt and shirt with the utmost care. I am a porcelain doll, ready to shatter. As I finish I gaze up at the mirror at my reflection with swollen eyes. A deep knot forms in my stomach and tears almost start falling again; the monster leaps forwards and attacks, held back only by the thick iron chain its fastened to.

Never have I felt that deep hate inside me before. The monster twists and turns violently, threatening to rip apart from my body and tear its nemisis apart, tear me apart, from the outside aswell as the inside. The only thing holding me together was the chain around its neck that keeps it far enough away from doing serious harm.

The phone rings suddenly and I get thrusted back into reality and away from my thoughts. I blink a few times and try to clear my vision. How long have I been gone? I dimly notice my eyes return to their normal appearance as I cast one glance back at myself and leave the bathroom and follow the obnoxious ringing noise coming from the kitchen.

I rid my head of all thoughts as I rasied the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hey Evie," It's Steve, I could tell his deep voice from anywhere. "Do you want to catch a movie with me?"

I subconciously twirled the phone cord around my index finger. "I don't think so. . ." It was the truth, the thought of going out made me anxious. I don't think I could last if I caught someone looking at me with disgust, I really would lose it. "I have to watch Sam." I lied easily.

"Oh, okay. See you on Monday then?"

"Yeah, Moday," I echoed. "I gotta go Steve. . ."

"Wait Evie?" He said suddenly. When I stayed quiet he continued. "Are you alright? I mean when you ran out all rushed on Friday I-"

"Steve I do really have to go." I interrupted before he could say too much. I really wanted to forget that night more than anything. Whenever I thought of it too many questions came up and left my mind in a tangled mess. Did I over react? Did he still like me? Did I even see it right? Was he even looking at her?

"Oh, okay." He stayed on a minute and the silence over took the reciever.

"Bye Steve," I finally said right before hanging up, not even waiting for a reply.

Steve's Pov.

I held the reciever to my ear a second longer than necessary and waited to hear the fast paced beeps that confirmed she had ended the call. Within thirty seconds they came. After finally listening to them enough to make me tremble with annoyance I placed the reciever back onto the craddle (I really have no idea what its called) with a little too much force.

"Hey careful with the merchandise," came Soda's joking voice from somewhere behind me. I jumped as I felt a hand on my back a few moments later. "You 'ight?"

I shrugged, both to remove Soda's cold hand and out of indesicion. I prayed he would take that as an 'I'm fine' motion, although a small part of me hoped he'd know something was wrong. I kept my eyes glued to the counter but I could still see him shuffling slightly so he was infront of me and looking at me with careful eyes, the same eyes he used to approach Johnny when he was hurt or Dally when he was in a mood. He knew something was off. "What happened?"

I opened my mouth to tell him but found myself with an empty mouth. I didn't know what to say. What even happened? Evie left rushed one date, which has happened before, and she was too busy to go out with me tonight? I mentally slapped myself for making a big deal out of nothing. Why was I over reacting like this? "I'm fine."

A customer called out from infront for Soda and I waited for him to go. To my surprise he stayed glued to the spot, his eyes watching me carefully. I wondered if he had heard the man. As the man yelled out again Soda took a breath and everything seemed to go into motion again. "If you say so..." he murmured quietly while leaving the shop.

I watched him opened the door and go out, making small talk with the man over the cars roof. Shaking my head I got back to work. "Its nothing," I muttered to myself, hoping that hearing them would make me believe. It didn't.

. . .

Thank you for reading! I'm sorry the chapters are short guys, its just really hard to make them long.

Thank you:
-outsider291
-wishuy
-Believe In Something Bigger
-Independance Undervalued

For reviewing, it means so much :D

If you reading this please do the right thing and review! Please :)