Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight, if SOME STUPID MORON has not realized even though I have written this in EVERY FREAKING CHAPTER!

Author's Note: sorry for the wait! I couldn't decide on which one of the wolves I should do. This is why I encourage you to tell me which I should do. Anyway, after picking a name out of a hat…drum roll please…the chosen one is…Jared!

PS: thoughts are written in Italics.

PSS: I am trying out a new story, seeing as we only have Paul, Embry, Seth, Collin and Brady left in this story and maybe five or six chapters left in my Glee story. The category is Twilight. Please review on it and tell me if you think I should continue! The first chapter was meant to kind of fill readers in on who's who, just incase you thought it would be that boring. If you want to read another chapter to see what the actual story is going to be like before you want to tell me to continue or not, feel free.

Review!

"JARED!" Sam yelled, walking in Jared's direction. "I've been shouting at you for ten minutes straight! Are you deaf?"

"No, I was seeing how many times you would call me before you decided to get your lazy ass over here and speak to me at a normal volume." Jared laughed. Sam growled and rolled his eyes.

"Come with me." he sighed.

"No can do, Sammy. I'm going to Paul's then we are going to Jacob's then we are going to Quil's then we are going to Embry's then we are going to Leah's friend Stacey's house to get Leah then we are going to Collin's then we are going to Brady's so we can all go to the Clearwater's house so Collin and Leah can read Fashion magazines and gossip and the rest of us can play Black Ops on Seth's new Xbox!" he finished punching the air.

"You aren't going to fit that into one day." Sam sighed rolling his eyes.

"Uh, do you have brain damage? We're only going to their houses to get them to come with us, not to actually go into their houses…idiot…" Jared laughed.

"Was that long explanation really necessary?" Sam demanded.

"No not really, but it really annoyed you that I wasted the last forty-six seconds of your soon to be over life and you can never take them back." Jared grinned.

"Actually I am about to waste the next ten minutes of your life away, so I think we are even." Sam smirked smugly. Jared glared at him.

.:Back At Sam and Emily's House:.

"Here you go." Emily gave Jared a sheet. Sam and Emily's eyes watched him, waiting for him to complain make Sam scream and kick him out.

1. You are not allowed to keep bugging the rest of the pack to gamble with you. When they don't want to gamble, they don't want to gamble. Believe it or not, they might not have any money left from gambling with you the day before.

2. You are not allowed to bring Kim cliff diving to impress her. Her parents don't want her to die when YOU encourage her to try it.

3. You're NOT NOT NOT allowed to dye Seth, Leah or Embry's hair red, no matter how 'cool' it looks on Embry or how 'hot' it looks on Leah or how 'funny' it looks on Seth. Unless you want them to kill you in a slow and painful way, of course.

4. Quil is NOT a pedophile. You are NOT allowed to call him one.

5. You are NOT allowed to suggest that the pack plays strip poker. Or make chicken noises when Leah says she won't play. It doesn't make you funny, it makes you a total pervert.

6. You are not allowed to play truth or dare with the rest of the pack. Just…no.

7. You are not allowed to organize blind dates for Seth. Especially one with a twenty year old stripper. You WILL face Leah's wrath.

8. You are not allowed to make a fan site for the pack. It is vain and it could give away our secret, if you were too stupid to figure that out.

9. You are not allowed to buy birthday presents, Christmas presents or any other type of present on EBay. It's not a very good idea.

10. You are not allowed to try to break the world record for the most amount of muffins you can fit in your mouth at once. It's gross.

"What?" Jared exclaimed. "I was training to break the record! I'm up to five! Five the size of Emily's ones, not the mini ones like Jason Walker who is the current record holder, so I am going to win."

"How will you win? He can fit more small ones in than you could fit big ones. You do know the distinction between big and small, right?" Emily asked worriedly. Is Jared really that stupid?

"Not if I tell the world record people that each of the muffins I use are ten times bigger than Jason's." Jared chuckled evilly. Jason Walker is going down!

"They wouldn't believe you unless they were blind." Sam snapped, not in the mood to listen to Jared and his record dreams.

"Are we really here to argue over muffins?" Emily sighed, glancing from Sam to Jared.

"I'd love to." Jared smiled cheerfully.

"No, we are not." Sam growled glaring at Jared, annoyed.

"Well if Mr. ChubbyCheeks here says we're not then I guess we're not." Jared sighed.

"Excuse me Jared? DID YOU JUST CALL ME MR. CHUBBYCHEEKS?" Sam yelled, angry. He should know how insecure I am about my fat cheeks…

"Yes, why yes I did, SammyChubbyAssCheeks!" Jared grinned enjoying winding the fat cheeked alpha up.

"Oh, you were referring to my butt?" Sam said calming down. "Well girls like big butts."

"No, I was referring to the ass on your face. Y'know, these flabby ass cheeks." he lauged, squeezing Sam's cheeks (the ones on his face).

"GET OUT! NOW!" Sam exploded. Jared cowered away raising his hands as a sign of peace.

"Fine then. But just to let you know, I go in peace." Jared assured, running out the door as Sam growled after him.

"Em honey, my cheeks aren't that…overweight are they?" Sam asked leaning on her shoulder pouting. He resembled a five year old trying to be cute. He failed. Miserably.

"Sam, don't make me answer that…" Emily groaned.

Poor sam…

Well? How was it? Review please! Remember to check out my new story!

TwilightGal99