I woke up this morning very grateful that I had fallen asleep with my FanFic notebook close to my bed, cos when I opened my eyes I found I'd written several pages worth of notes and quotes for chapter 9 (at this point chapter 8 was still unfixnished). Most of which I liked (though it was so jumbled it was hard to make sense of) The main reason I was glad that I slept with my note book was the singular thought- What would I have written on if the book WASN'T there?

Oh yeah, beware naughty language, emo-ness, torture and a self destructive Kanda. Maybe my choice of theme is saying something about me?

I don't not own D Gray Man, though Fran is still mine. Enjoy the chapter!


Chapter 9- Loss of faith

-----------------------------------------Flashback-----------------------------------------

Lenalee hung up the phone, her face worried. "Kanda's vanished. Since we're closest to his last known location, Komui wants us to go and search for him."

Lavi nodded grimly. Just what could have happened?

Francesca looked between the two exorcists, anxiety all over her face. "What's going on?"

Lavi grinned at her reassuringly, before turning his attention to his bag, yanking it closed. "Just a detour. One of our friends nearby has gone missing and we have…to...uh…"

Lenalee turned in time to see Lavi hit the floor, his eyes half-closed and his mouth slack. A trickle of blood ran from under his hairline.

"Wh...What's going on" She looked up at the older girl and her heart froze. The girl's tanned olive skin had darkened to grey, and a line of black crosses ran along her forehead beneath her black hair.

"You're a Noah?" Lenalee took a step backwards, too frightened to do anything else.

"Yup." The Noah stepped closer, her grin stretching across her face, displaying those perfect teeth. "Silly of you not to notice."

------------------------------------------End Flashback-------------------------------------------


"Yuu-chaaaan."

"…"

"Yuuuuuu-chaaaaaaaaaaan"

"Lavi, shut up, you'll bring that Noah back."

"I'm just trying to make sure he's ok. YUU-CHA-"

"Shut the fuck up, Baka."

"Oh, you are awake. I was getting worried there."

"I was tying to block out the sound of your voice."

"If you'd answered earlier, I'd have stopped talking to you sooner."

"Tch. I doubt that."

"Guys, shut up!"

Kanda's eye twitched, but he complied. Lenalee looked scary when she was angry.

Lavi on the other hand…

"So, Yuu-chan, how'd you get captured so easily?"

Kanda flushed and muttered something about dodgy architecture.

Lavi's eye widened. "A building fell on you?"

"Well I didn't collapse it on purpose Baka."

Had Lavi not been firmly tied down he'd have rolled on the floor laughing. "The great Kanda Yuu, finally defeated by falling masonry!"

Kanda felt the need to defend his already battered pride. "I was fighting a Noah, and she pulled the building down on me. When I came to, I was already here."

"A female Noah?" Lenalee picked up. "What did she look like?"

Kanda frowned. "Grey skin, black hair, crosses…she looked like a Noah."

Lenalee wished her arms were free so she could throttle him.

"She looked like me." A new voice joined them from darkness behind Kanda, who could only judge from watching his friend's faces that it was someone they knew.

"A friend of yours?"

"Francesca?" Lavi looked utterly confused.

Lenalee looked at him sadly. Of course, he'd already been unconscious by the time Francesca had changed into her Noah form.

"I did mean to tell you Lavi, but I wasn't quite sure what to say."

"Please" the Noah scoffed. "Some bookman you'll turn out to be if you can't spot a Noah from that close."

Ouch. Lavi flinched, finding that the seemingly off hand comment actually hurt him.

"Not that you would have anyway. I can see into your soul, Lavi. I know exactly what you feel." She moved in front of him, straddling his lap and leaning into him, her mouth at his ear. Lenalee could see her lips moving but couldn't catch any of the words. Whatever the girl was whispering, it couldn't be good. Lavi's eye dulled and he hung his head.

"You're right." He whispered into the silence of the room, and nobody struggled to hear it.

"What did you say to him?"

Ignoring Kanda's demanding question, she stood up, brushing the creases from her clothes. "I am the Noah of Faith" she announced to the room at large. "I have a wonderful ability that creates feelings of trust in other people towards me, or anyone else that I happen to choose. However…" she gestured to Lavi, who hung limply in his bonds. "I can take that trust away." She gave a wild laugh, clutching her ribs and wiping a tear from her eye. "I have the power to destroy the trust people have in each other and in themselves!"

"What!?" Lenalee stared at the Noah in horror.

"Lavi! Lavi, snap out of it dammit!" Kanda snarled, rocking forwards on the chair he was bound to.

Francesca looked at Kanda thoughtfully. "If you don't stop cursing, I'll have to gag you."

"Fuck off."

The Noah lifted an eyebrow. "It was your choice." She pulled a length of material from her sleeve and bound it around Kanda's mouth. He glared at her. "Tut, tut. Looking at me like that isn't going to help you is it?"

"What do you want?" Lenalee's pleading voice made the Noah turn. She looked like she was giving the question serious thought.

"To destroy you, from the feelings out."


"No!" Lenalee mumbled. The fight had almost completely gone from her. "I am useful. I can fight!"

"Sure you can…" Francesca soothed in a low voice, running her hand across Lenalee's forehead. "But you can't help anyone really, can you? You can't stop this…"

She placed a sharp heel over Lavi's right foot, pressing down firmly. Lavi didn't stir but the crunching sound of breaking bones made Lenalee feel sick. "See, you can't help anyone."

"I'm no use to anyone" Lenalee agreed, her chin dropping to her chest, her eyes deadening. "I always need rescuing."

Kanda made a small sound, which drew the Noah's attention away from the girl.

"Now then, what makes you tick, Kanda Yuu? What is it that you believe in?"


Allen drummed his fingers impatiently. "Yes, I realise they've gone, I was just asking whether you had any idea where they might have gone from here."

Despite the usefulness of the Ark, for some reason the closest exit to the known location of Lavi's team was still three day's travel from the inn, so it had taken him some time to reach the destination. Allen was tired of the evasiveness of the owner and slammed his fidgeting hand on the table. "Look, if you don't know, that's fine, but please sir, don't waste my time."

The inn keeper shrugged and moved away. Allen considered his options. 1- Bang his head repeatedly against the table at which he sat. Hmmm…probably not the most productive… 2- Wrap his hand around the inn keeper's scrawny neck and bang his head repeatedly against the table. Now that one had merit… Allen slumped in defeat. What should I do now?


"Oh, this is interesting!" Francesca breathed against Kanda's ear, both her hands pressed on his chest. "What happened to make you so dead inside?"

Kanda glared at her over the gag. She laughed at him. "I don't need you to speak to me to tell me. I can feel what you're thinking."

Kanda tried to jerk her off him, struggling against the bonds that clasped his hands behind his back.

"Now now" she chided him, wagging a finger in front of his face. "That won't do at all." She laughed softly. "Ooooh, who's this?" She paused as though savouring the thoughts. "Is he the one that did this to you?"

Kanda froze very suddenly.

"You're a very interesting person Kanda Yuu, letting one small boy destroy your faith in the world. What did he do to you?" She plunged into his mind further, picking her way along the threads of his thoughts.

Kanda growled a warning, as though daring her to go further.

The Noah laughed. This was too good of an opportunity to miss. She was actually glad she hadn't completely destroyed the female exorcist now- she could feel the girl pulling herself back to consciousness. Kanda was completely unaware, all his attention focused on the Noah who was sitting on him. What fun!

"Awww, did he break your heart?" Kanda stared at her. "He took your heart and gave it back in pieces. What a horrible person." The Noah grinned evilly. "He was your first wasn't he? I wonder if you were his…Oh, you don't think so?" She looked round at the other exorcists. "Which one do you think he did first?" she asked in a clandestine whisper.

Kanda's glare softened and he lowered his eyes. The Noah looked satisfied. "Ah, there was still some fight in you after all." She reached for the gag, yanking it away none too gently. "I'll take this off, and you can ask them. You want to know don't you? Whether he touched them the same way as he touched you?" She removed herself from him and walked to the door.

"This boy, you've made me interested in him. I'll be back soon."

"What are you going to do?" Kanda croaked as she began to close the door.

"I'm going to meet him, this Allen Walker." Her laughter mocked him, ringing in his ears long after she had left.


Lavi was muttering under his breath, and it was annoying her. A lot. But no matter what she tried she couldn't get a response out of him.

"Just forget it Lenalee." Kanda's monotone cut through her desperate calling.

"I'm not giving up!" She frowned at him. "It's a shame you have."

"Tch. I haven't given up; it was hopeless to begin with. Nobody knows where we are. We're tied up; Lavi's got a broken foot and has gone nuts, AND I'M FUCKING FED UP!"

"Wh…what?" Lenalee stared at him in disbelief.

"You heard me." He raised dull eyes to her face. "I'm fed up. Everything good I ever believed in has been taken away."

Lenalee didn't pretend to know what Kanda was talking about. She swallowed, not sure how to phrase the question. "Kanda, what…"

She was interrupted by Lavi, who gave a surprised grunt. "What the hell? Why does my foot hurt?"

"Tch. Stopped talking to yourself now, Baka?"

"Eh?" Lavi blinked stupidly.

"Why did he wake up? Is the Noah's ability not permanent?"

"I don't know. I still feel..." Lavi broke off, his chin dropping to his chest, looking utterly defeated.

"Worthless? Useless? Unhelpful? Unworthy?" Kanda supplied harshly. "Because that's got nothing to do with the Noah, it's the truth."

"Kanda!" Lenalee was shocked.

Lavi however offered his friend a small grin. "Thanks Yuu-chan. I needed to hear that."

"Men!" cried Lenalee, now thoroughly confused.


Francesca spotted the boy straight away. He was staring longingly into the bottom of an ice-cream sundae glass, as though mourning its emptiness.

She placed her hand on his shoulder, making him jump.

She read him quickly, using the small contact to gain the information she needed. This would be so easy… She couldn't believe her luck. He was actually here, in the same town, and as fate would have it he was one of the most willing to trust individuals that she had ever come across. She probably wouldn't even need her powers on this one. Hmm…loyal, naive, ooh, injured…nice.

"Um, can I help you?" Allen's polite enquiry broke her away from her plotting.

"You're Allen Walker?" She wanted verbal confirmation. Despite delving into his thoughts, she didn't have time to complete a thorough search. She also found it hard to believe that this boy was capable of the things Kanda had thought he had done.

"Yes. Who are you?"

"Oh thank goodness! My name's Francesca. I was with two exorcists- but there was a terrible accident." She gave his already trusting soul a nudge with her powers. "You have to come quickly!"

Allen didn't hesitate. "Take me there."

Good boy…


Francesca closed the door, plunging the room into utter darkness, save the eerie green glow coming from Allen's left hand.

The girl lit a candle, which despite its small size cast a faint yellow light into all corners of the room. An obviously empty room.

"What's going on?" Allen turned to the her, only to find himself face to face with a Noah.

Oh shit. He watched her cautiously. "Where are my friends?"

"They're here, locked away where no one can see. I'm more interested in you at the moment."

Allen didn't move as she took a step closer. "You see, I was having a little…rummage in someone called Kanda Yuu's head-ah you know him" she noted Allen's small smothered gasp. "And would you believe it, no matter how hard I tried, I found I couldn't use my powers as the Noah of Faith to destroy his trust in…well in anything. Do you know why?"

Allen shook his head.

"Because of you."

"Me?" Allen stopped looking for an exit and stared at the Noah, his eyebrows threatening to disappear into his snowy hair.

"Yes, you. Don't give me that innocent look. I want to know what you did that was so terrible that my job was done by the time I got to him."

Allen finally backed away from the approaching Noah, until his back was flush against the wall.

She put her hand to his face, running a grey finger down his scarred cheek. "Don't worry, it won't hurt. Much."


A/N

Ah. I hate this chapter…it's all…meh. And jumps around all over the place.

I'm sorry, don't hate me. :(

Much Lovage

Aerika-san