A/N: Welcome back! Chapter eight is now ready for your enjoyment (and I'm feeling particularly goofy…), oh, and uh, yes Orihime will be OOC again…I'm doing it on purpose. Don't hate me. Anyway, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I am a fangirl. They call us 'fangirls' because, though we dream, we do not own. This is me, dreaming.
After Life
Chapter 8: Suffering in Silence
Yoruichi popped her head into Ichigo's office late one afternoon, grinning broadly. "You're not doing anything fun, are you?"
Ichigo, currently alone in the office and attempting to finish up his paperwork, lifted his head quickly at the unexpected intrusion. Brown eyes wide, he exclaimed, "Yoruichi! Uh, no, not even close."
Chuckling, Yoruichi stepped fully in and crossed to the desk, trailing her fingers along the edge. "Oooh, this is a nice desk you have here. Guess they really wanted to impress you, huh?"
"It's just a desk," Ichigo said with a shrug, gladly setting down the paper he'd been looking over. "What're you doing in Soul Society?"
"What, no 'hi, how are you? Good to see you's?" Yoruichi teased with a smirk, walking around and looking out the window behind his desk.
Ichigo sighed, knowing she would answer the question at her own speed, and relented. "Hey, Yoruichi. It's great to see you, how've you been?" It was said with not a little sarcasm.
"I've been pretty good," Yoruichi replied, pretending his question had been genuine. "And it's nice to see you, too, Ichigo. Thanks for asking."
Spinning around in his chair to face her, Ichigo began subconsciously drumming his fingers along one arm – a habit he swore he'd never had before his death. "So you came to chat?" he asked, knowing Yoruichi Shihouin would never do such a thing, but feeling impatient.
Yoruichi scoffed and turned to lean against the window, arms crossed comfortably across her chest. "You know me better than that." At Ichigo's pointed look, she relented slightly and added, "I had some things to talk to Yamamoto about, and I figured while I was here, I'd pop in on old friends."
Ichigo's scowl deepened. "What kind of things?" he asked, immediately assuming they were things he'd want to know about.
Rolling her eyes, Yoruichi said, "You know, Ichigo, it is possible I'd come to Soul Society for reasons that don't concern you."
Scoffing, Ichigo replied, "Sure. But humor me."
"But watching you squirm and get all worked up is so much more fun," Yoruichi teased with a grin.
"I do not squirm!" Ichigo defended immediately, shooting to his feet as if it would help him win the argument.
Yoruichi said nothing as she stood there, continuing to smirk at him.
Ichigo sighed again and grumbled, "At least tell me everyone's okay."
"Everyone's okay," Yoruichi repeated calmly. No signs of the lie showed on her face, even though it did eat at her a little to have to tell it.
"That was convincing," Ichigo commented.
It was Yoruichi's turn to sigh as she pointed out, "That's what you asked, isn't it?" Before he could reply (and probably ask for details), she added thoughtfully, "Oh, I met the new Soul Reaper you sent. Nice guy, I think he'll do alright."
Dropping heavily into his chair, Ichigo leaned his head back to stare at the ceiling as he said, "I damn sure hope so."
The humor fled again from Yoruichi's voice as she asked, "Seriously, Ichigo, how are you doing?"
"I've been better," Ichigo replied honestly. Shrugging and removing his gaze from the ceiling, he added, "I suppose I've been worse, too, though. I guess I'm adjusting."
"You always have been rather good at that," Yoruichi commented with a faint smile. "And I hear rumor you're tackling kidou now. Are you any good?"
"I'm decent," Ichigo said. After a moment, he added, "I think. At any rate, Izuru says I'm at least better than Renji, so that's something."
Yoruichi laughed at the comment. "You would turn learning kidou into a competition. I don't know why I hadn't thought of that."
Looking less than amused, Ichigo said, "Ha-ha."
Curiously, Yoruichi asked, "So is it alright with you if I tell your friends about your fancy new coat?"
Ichigo lifted a brow in confusion. "I thought they knew," he said slowly. When Yoruichi gave him a look that clearly asked 'why would they know that?' he added, "I thought Rukia told them."
As understanding dawned, Yoruichi laughed softly and shook her head. "Nope. I thought maybe you'd asked her not to, since she only told your dad and Kisuke, but maybe she just forgot."
Ichigo sputtered. "She forgot? How the hell did she do that?"
Yoruichi shrugged. "How should I know?" With barely a pause, she repeated, "So it's okay, then?"
"Yeah, of course," Ichigo replied, leaning back again in his chair. "It's not some secret. And, if you're gonna talk to everyone…could you tell them I said hi?"
"Sure," Yoruichi said. She moved beside him and dropped a hand on his shoulder for a moment. "You're doing well, Ichigo. We're proud of you. I'll see you around, alright?"
"Yeah, thanks," Ichigo said, nodding at his former mentor as she let herself out.
"Orihime," Tatsuki began as they sat in Tatsuki's bedroom doing homework, "have you figured out what classes you're going to take yet?"
The auburn-haired girl looked up at the question and tapped her pencil against her chin. "What do you mean?"
Tatsuki frowned. What does she think I mean? "For you first semester at Tokyo University. You have filled out the forms, haven't you? I remember you said you'd been accepted."
"Oh," Orihime said, dropping her gaze to the paper in front of her. "Actually, I've been so busy lately with work that I forgot."
"But, Orihime, you're the one who's been cramming in all those extra shifts," Tatsuki argued. "I'm sure you could just not take one, and use the time to finish up your college paperwork. If you don't get it done, you won't be able to get the classes you want."
"I'm not worried about it," Orihime replied without looking up. "Have you finished problem twelve yet?"
Frustrated, Tatsuki slammed her hands down on the papers and textbook in front of her. "Orihime! Listen to yourself! Forget the stupid math homework for a minute, this is more important!"
Orihime didn't even flinch at the sudden noise. She looked up calmly as Tatsuki shouted, and when the karate champion was done, she said, "Not technically. If we do poorly then we don't graduate."
Tatsuki's left eye began twitching as she forced herself to take a deep breath and keep calm. She didn't want to upset Orihime – although lately, even that would be an improvement over this shell of her best friend. "Even if we don't do this assignment, neither of us will have to worry about graduating, and you know it. Now tell me the real reason you haven't finished your college papers."
"I told you," Orihime said. "I'm sorry if you don't believe me."
"I don't believe you!" Tatsuki insisted, managing to keep from yelling. Tears – of frustration as much as pain – pooled in her eyes and she continued, "What's going on with you, Orihime? You haven't been yourself in over a month now! We're graduating in three weeks and you don't even seem to care anymore! I've been trying to get you to talk to me – I know you're hurting – but you shut me down every time! Everyone's worried about you, Orihime. We want you back."
Orihime's lips curved down slightly, but as always, the expression was just for show. "I've been here the whole time, Tatsuki. You don't need to worry about me, I'm fine now."
The worst thing about this new Orihime, Tatsuki decided, was that she could lie. The part of her that had always felt guilty about lying was gone, or buried so far down that it might as well be. But Tatsuki knew Orihime was lying.
Her voice softer than it had been before, Tatsuki asked, "When was the last time you even said Ichigo's name?"
She regretted the question immediately. She, and everyone else, had noticed after a while that there was one exception to this 'no emotion' mask Orihime wore. And that one exception was when she heard Ichigo's name. A shot of pain would shoot through her lifeless gray eyes, and her whole face would cringe just slightly – you could see it if you knew what to look for.
Instead of answering Tatsuki's question, Orihime turned away and began gathering her things. "I should go. I still have to work on our final art project. See you tomorrow, Tatsuki."
"Wait, Orihime," Tatsuki called as Orihime shoved her things into her book bag haphazardly and stood. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Let's just go back to our homework…Orihime!"
"It's okay," Orihime said without turning around. "I'll see you tomorrow." And then she walked out of the room, never once looking back.
Tatsuki's heart broke a little more. It had taken her a while to admit it, mostly because she was incredibly good at denial, but she couldn't ignore it any longer. She was pretty sure it would just be mean to even try.
Though one of them was still walking around Karakura, going to school and talking to her, Tatsuki had lost both of her best friends the night that car hit Ichigo.
But just because they were both, for all intents and purposes, dead, it didn't mean that they both had to suffer. If there was one thing Tatsuki hated, it was seeing her friends suffer – especially if one of the friends in question was Orihime.
The door slid open a full minute after Tatsuki had pounded on it, and Jinta raised a brow at her curiously. He obviously recognized her, but still he asked, "What do you want?"
"I want to talk to hat-and-clogs," Tatsuki said.
A deep voice called out from behind the boy. "Jinta, who's at the door?"
Looking over his shoulder, the small red-head replied, "It's Orihime's friend. She wants to talk to the boss."
"Well let her in already!" Kisuke Urahara called from somewhere in the back.
Opening the door wider, Jinta grumbled, "C'mon in, then. He's in back."
"Thanks," Tatsuki said with a nod as she walked confidently down the hall. It had been a couple of hours since Orihime had left her house, and she had used the time to think. Every scenario she thought of seemed to end in failure, except for one. And for Orihime's sake, Tatsuki would give it a try.
Kisuke was sitting at a round table, his fan spread and held in front of his face, obscuring all but his eyes, which almost seemed to glow from beneath the shadow of his hat. "Hello, Miss Arisawa, it's a pleasure to see you. What brings you to my shop at this hour?"
Taking a seat opposite him, Tatsuki said, "Cut the creepy act, alright? I'm here because of Orihime. I'm…worried about her."
"Ah, so you've noticed the change as well?" Kisuke asked in a strangely light-hearted tone. He was obviously smiling behind his fan.
"Of course I have!" Tatsuki exclaimed. She took a deep breath and sighed, sitting back properly, and added, "Look, I made a promise to Ichigo before he left…I promised I'd take care of her. But I don't think I can anymore. What she needs…isn't me."
"Don't take it personally," Kisuke said. "There comes a time in every child's life where they leave home and make a life for themselves. You know, fall in love, get a job, start a family of their own, that sort of thing."
Tatsuki felt her eye twitch again. "What does that even mean?"
Sighing as though he were being asked to explain why ice-cream was cold, he replied, "You're Orihime's best friend. The closest thing she has to a real family. So it's natural that, as she matures, she would need to make a choice between staying close to family – in this case, you – or following her heart – in this case, Ichigo. Does that help?"
Rubbing one temple warily, Tatsuki said, "A little…I think. At the very least, it sounds like we're sort of on the same page. I've come to the conclusion that Orihime is simply incapable of really living without Ichigo."
"Hmm," Kisuke hummed thoughtfully. "In that case, I'd say I'm about a chapter ahead of you. But that's to be expected, I suppose!"
"It's no wonder Ichigo was always frustrated with you," Tatsuki growled, glaring at the man in the hat sitting across from her.
Eyes widening dramatically, Kisuke spoke in a tone of (feigned) astonishment. "Was he?"
Barely resisting the urge to slam her hands down on the table, she ignored his ridiculous question and snapped, "Would you please just tell me if there's some way to help Orihime?"
A chuckling female voice diverted their attention as Yoruichi entered and took a seat beside Kisuke. "Better be careful, Kisuke," she remarked with a grin. "Ichigo tells me this one's a real fighter. Oh, that's right." She paused and turned to Tatsuki before adding, "Ichigo says hi."
"Wh-what?" Tatsuki stuttered before she could stop herself.
"Yoruichi here went to Soul Society earlier to look into some things," Kisuke explained. Turning to Yoruichi then, he asked, "And, speaking of, how'd it go?"
The flash-master leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table and staring off into the distance. "About as well as you thought it would. But Yamamoto did seem willing to negotiate, at least."
"I'm sorry," Tatsuki interrupted. "But are we still talking about Orihime here, or are you not going to help me?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Kisuke asked with a laugh. When it was obvious the girl was about to blow, he waved his fan at her and said, "Calm down, calm down, of course we're going to help! That's what we were talking about, wasn't it?"
"And what does Orihime's situation have to do with Yama-whoever?" Tatsuki returned.
"Everything," Kisuke replied mysteriously.
Before Tatsuki could lunge across the table and strangle him – which looked like a high possibility – Yoruichi spoke up. "Yamamoto is the Head Captain of Soul Society. He's one of the highest levels of authority, and he's the man the Soul Reapers answer to."
Calming, slightly, at finally getting at least one straight answer, Tatsuki looked to Yoruichi and asked, "Okay, but I still don't see why he has anything to do with this."
"You said it yourself," Kisuke began casually. "Orihime Inoue, as we knew her, is dead – and will continue to be so – if she continues to 'live' as she is. Which means, of course, that the only real solution is to reunite her with Ichigo."
Tatsuki nodded, finally agreeing with the hat-wearing shop owner.
"Unfortunately," Kisuke continued, "people aren't exactly allowed to travel between the worlds whenever they'd like to. This is absolutely not your usual long-distance relationship scenario."
The pieces finally clicked, and Tatsuki sighed. "So what you're saying," she began slowly, "is that in order to save Orihime, we have to lose her."
"Essentially, yes," Kisuke said.
"But the additional complication," Yoruichi added seriously, sitting up straight again, "is that if Orihime were to die in this world – for example, the way Ichigo did – though she would cross over to Soul Society, she would also forget her human life. There's even a chance she would forget her own name."
"So in order to be successful," Kisuke began, jumping in when Yoruichi stopped, "Orihime has to cross into Soul Society without first dying here. Which isn't as complicated as it sounds, I assure you; she's done it numerous times before."
"Then what's the difference?" Tatsuki asked, confused again.
Kisuke's voice was suddenly, frighteningly, grave as he replied, "This time, she would have to stay. Orihime Inoue would not die in our world – she would simply vanish."
Closing her eyes tightly for a long moment, Tatsuki finally said, "I get it. That goes with what I said earlier, anyway. And, if I'm being selfish, it would be easier for me to deal with that than…than whatever is going on with her right now. I can't stand seeing her this way."
"Then I take it you're in?" Kisuke asked in a strangely conspiratorial voice.
For the first time in hours, Tatsuki grinned ever-so-slightly. "You're damn straight I am. What do I have to do?"
Uryuu and Chad took about as much convincing as Tatsuki had, and after that, they only had to work on a way to force Orihime to have that conversation. She always backed away whenever a conversation turned anywhere near Ichigo, or Ichigo-related topics. They were going to have to corner her somehow.
But they had to do it soon, because they had to know what Orihime would want to do. At the end of the day, they had all agreed, no matter what their feelings were on the subject, they couldn't force her into something like this. It had to be her choice. And once she made her choice, Yoruichi would return to Soul Society to talk to Yamamoto.
However, cornering Orihime was not as easy as they had initially thought it would be.
They had tried pulling her aside at school a few times. First Tatsuki, who had managed alright until (brilliantly) she had tried leading Orihime up to the roof. Uryuu tried next, using handicrafts club as an excuse, but Orihime had been waylaid by Chizuru, claiming it was bad form for Orihime to be going off alone with a guy. When Chad tried the next day, Orihime seemed to be becoming suspicious, and made some excuse before turning and walking away.
After three failed attempts, the trio decided to take a break, hoping Orihime would forget her suspicions. The rest of the week went by, and Tatsuki had gone to Orihime's apartment, so that they could finish their art projects together. It had occurred to her to try and talk to her there, but Chad had work and Uryuu was swamped with last-minute paperwork for his college of choice, so the idea died.
Until Orihime finished her art project.
It wasn't really late, though it was far from early, when Orihime set her final colored pencil down. She didn't say anything, but she nodded slightly in silent approval of her piece.
"Finished already?" Tatsuki asked, looking up from her almost-finished artwork.
Orihime looked up and nodded, another fake-smile curving her lips. "Yes. Would you like to see it?"
"Sure," Tatsuki said, setting down her own project. She hoped Orihime hadn't done another drawing of herself as a robot. The project was a sort of 'part two' of the assignment from their freshman year, asking again where they saw themselves in ten years. At the moment, Tatsuki had no idea what kind of picture Orihime might have thought up. Then again, she reflected, a robot would be better than any number of things…but she was definitely drawing earlier, so at least I know it's not blank.
Taking the drawing from Orihime's outstretched hand, Tatsuki looked down at it and felt her heart lurch. She had to refrain from saying something as she stared, wide-eyed, down at the picture. The background was, unmistakably, a cemetery. She could make out 'Kurosaki' on the nearest, largest, tombstone. But it was the foreground that reinforced Tatsuki's drive to do whatever she had to to help Orihime.
In the foreground of the picture, covering the majority of the tombstones, and deliberately placed beside the one that was legible, was a giant heart. Or, more specifically, what would have been a heart, if all the pieces were connected. As it was, the outline was discernable enough to be understood, but the shape was in so many pieces that it looked more like a jigsaw.
This isn't how Orihime sees herself in ten years, Tatsuki realized with a heavy heart. This is how she sees herself now.
"Is it bad?" Orihime asked calmly from across the table.
Pulling herself back to reality, Tatsuki forced a small smile and handed the picture back, saying, "No, it's really good, Orihime. Really…powerful. And the colors are great."
"Oh, thank you," Orihime said as she set the picture down.
Tatsuki pushed herself to her feet with feigned calm. "Excuse me a minute, Orihime. I think I had too much to drink; be right back." Quickly, she moved to the bathroom and shut the door.
Knowing she couldn't call anyone without being overheard, she opted to text instead. In too much of a hurry to send an individual text to both Chad and Uryuu, she grouped the message into one and typed out: Get to Orihime's now. We can't wait.
After the message had sent, she flushed the toilet, and then turned on the water to the sink. She let it run until Uryuu's response came in, turning it off as she read: I'm on my way. She knew Chad wouldn't text back, so she stuck the phone in her pocket and stepped out of the bathroom.
Tatsuki managed to play it cool until Uryuu and Chad arrived, having met up somewhere along the way. When they knocked, she let Orihime get the door, knowing if she was eager to answer it that Orihime might suspect something.
"May we come in?" Uryuu asked calmly. "It's important."
"Oh, um," Orihime hedged, but she had no reason to deny them, so she stepped back and nodded. "Of course. Are you both alright?"
"We're fine," Chad assured her as they entered.
Together the three of them moved into Orihime's living room, Chad and Uryuu trying – and failing – to keep their eyes from the double-shrine.
"So, what's the emergency?" Orihime asked as they all sat around the table, Tatsuki silently moving the art supplies out of the way.
"Orihime," Uryuu said after a beat, locking his eyes on the young woman. "I know you don't want to talk about this, but I'm afraid we can't sit back and watch you continue to destroy yourself anymore."
"What do you mean?" Orihime asked. There was no subconscious head-tilt, no widening of the eyes, no inflection in her voice.
Tatsuki could see where this was going to go, but they couldn't let it end that way. Not this time. So she stood and walked from the table determinedly, disappearing into Orihime's bedroom. But she was back almost as quickly as she'd left, clutching something in her hands.
When she returned to the table, she turned the framed photo out for the others to see and solidly met Orihime's gray eyes. There was a flicker of something in their depths when her eyes landed on the picture.
"This is what we mean," Tatsuki said firmly. "Take a good look at this picture, Orihime. But don't…don't focus on him. Look at you."
Orihime reached with slightly-shaky hands for the picture and took it back, holding it reverently. She took Tatsuki's advice, and looked at herself, but she didn't see anything strange.
"I remember when I took that picture," Tatsuki said, sitting again. "You were blushing so much, and you were rambling like you always do…or, rather, like you always used to. I remember being amazed at how thick Ichigo could be, for not getting why you were always like that around him."
Hands tightening around the frame, Orihime asked, "What are you saying…Tatsuki?"
"I'm saying…Orihime, what I'm trying to say is, you're losing yourself. I know you're trying to hide it, you think you have to be strong for us – for Ichigo – but this isn't the answer. Orihime, what you're doing right now…it isn't living," Tatsuki said, her eyes tearing slightly.
Orihime's eyes drifted back to the picture, and for a long moment, no one spoke. Something was struggling to show in her eyes, and so they held their tongues. And then Orihime had pulled the picture against her heart and tears were streaming, without warning, down her face. She looked up, her eyes traveling between each of them.
"B-but…what else can I do? I c-can't…can't-!" She cut herself off, choking up and holding the picture tighter.
Tatsuki slid to her side and pulled the girl into her arms, letting her hold the picture as she cried. Uryuu and Chad remained silent, letting Orihime take her time.
To Be Continued…
A/N: Okay, I'll admit it…I thought this chapter would be a lot different…but, that's okay, because I think I still like how it turned out! So I hope you did, too! And please drop me a review before you read the next one!
