Robin stared at the steel lance in his hands. The weapon was twisted beyond recognition, the once smooth and straight pole now looked like a wringed hankerchief. It was just one of the things that he had discovered since awakening in that field for a second time.
He set one end of the lance between his arm and side and proceeded to try to bend it. He pulled with all his strength for a while, then it came. The moment when he reached the extent of his human strength, a foreign force seemed to take hold of his arms. The metal bent as easily as a green twig, settling into the shape of the letter L. Robin didn't know whether he should be mortified or delighted at his new found skill.
His magic had increased exponentially, spells that he had never knew existed were appearing in his memory. Skills that no human should've been able to aquire were inserting themselves into his muscle memory. His dreams have not stopped, though they were less like volitant memories and more like actual dreams. Thoughts no longer elbowed their way into prominence, but the flood of new information still felt unnatural.
Robin simply did not feel assimilated with his recovered memories. At least when the memories had presented themselves in dreams, he had been able to watch. Now, they had resettled into his mind as if they had never left. It was the oddest feeling to have to question himself on subjects he was supposed to have known.
He had never felt more in control of his body, yet he had never felt more out of place.
A part of him wanted to remain in Ylisse. Despite the talk with his future self having only been a few minutes, apparantly an entire month had passed before he reappeared in the field. His war time friends had hailed his return as a miracle. Robin had set to work aiding in Ylisse's restoration immediately. For the first few days, he had pratically interrogated Chrom on what had happened during his leave. Chrom was taking the role of exalt in stride, even if he felt the need to complain about paper work daily. Robin grinned to himself, it must've been a rough transition to go from bashing in walls for training to an office job. In times of peace, the land pratically governed itself. A king's job was to be competent in the times when peace ended.
"Hey there, Robin. You alright?"
The exalt in question came up from behind. Chrom looked towards the bent lance with a mixture of surprise and amusement.
"Maybe I should set you up as manual labor." he suggested.
"Sure thing, and you can be left with a mountain of paper work and no help." Robin teased as he set the twisted metal pole aside.
"Let's not be hasty now." Chrom heaved a sigh, "I can't stand being holed up inside all day. One of these days I'll snap and end up destroying my office in a fit of rage."
"Come now, Chrom. Those old timers in your cabinet are already blowing steam out of their ears. You'll end up giving them strokes."
"They'll get worse than that if they try to force me into those peacock clothes again."
"You'd be amazed what appearances can do."
The image of his monstrous dragon form flashed through Robin's mind. He didn't want to remember the spell that had twisted him in such a way. It didn't matter anymore, he would never be able to transform again. And in a way, he didn't mind it all that much.
"Alright, out with it." Chrom had sat down in the grass while Robin had been locked in his thoughts, "Sit down and tell me what's on your mind."
Robin lowered himself onto the grass, "I don't think you'll like what I have to say."
"Just because the war is over doesn't mean that I'll allow you to stew in bad memories alone." Chrom insisted.
Robin paused for a while, when Chrom continued to look at him expectantly he relented, "In truth, I feel like an intruder. I want to stay here with you but..."
"You feel alienated." Chrom answered for him.
"Something like that. I want to stay yet...how do I put this? I've never lived in Ylisse. The day after you found me for the first time, we left for Regna Ferox. And now I'm remembering a place called Altea."
"The home of King Marth."
"Right. I don't care what the scholars say, you know your history, Chrom." Robin said, "It's unwarranted, insane even. All my friends are in Ylisse, you offered me a place in your household. If anything, I feel like I'm being ungrateful."
"Is there some place that you still feel attatched to?" Chrom laid down with his hands behind his head, "Where did you grow up?"
"I grew up in Doluna, but that place is gone now." Robin replied, "I remember my grandfather. Ever heard of a dragon named Medeus?"
"Medeus?"
"Perhaps you know him better as the Shadow Dragon."
"No way!" Chrom lifted his head and stared at Robin, "I didn't know...I can't imagine how... Robin, surely you don't feel guilty about his actions."
"It was a long time ago. To be honest, my memories are still foggy." Robin shrugged, "Ironic, isn't it? I come from a legacy of 'evil dragons'."
"Nonsense." Chrom said seriously, "You're still with us, helping us to recover. That alone proves more than any prophetic past ever could."
The pair fell silent for a few minutes. It reminded Robin of that night he had spent at Mori's village. Ylisse still looked beautiful, most of the fighting had taken place else where.
"Would you rather be in Plegia?" Chrom asked. There was a reluctant edge to his voice, as if he had to drag the question out of his throat.
Robin didn't answer.
He hated to say it, but something kept pestering him whenever he contemplated staying in Ylisse permanently. But if he left, where would he go? It wasn't as if he had a place to return to. He hadn't had a home in thousands of years. He wanted to stay, he had often heard home defined as the place where people cared for you. If that were true, then he most definetly should remain in Ylisse. There was nothing for him in Plegia.
"Speaking of Plegia, you'll have to head there soon." Robin reminded, "The country's probably a mess. They are leaderless, their army is in shambles. The chain of succession is cut, there is no heir to the throne and no hierophant to step in."
If he were being honest with himself, technically Robin should've been tasked with the responsibility of fixing Plegia. Validar had been his father, he had served a term as the hierophant (even if it wasn't truly him).
"Grimleal is the last thread that is holding war torn Plegia together." he finished his thought aloud.
"Belief is powerful." Chrom replied sympathetically, "It makes no difference to them that you are not a god. I'll bet my sword arm that the Followers of Naga would still worship regardless of whether Naga was a true goddess or otherwise."
Naga. Robin had been careful not to think about her ever since he had regained his memory. He didn't need ghost emotions to start arising again.
Divine witch. That was his name for her. A witch who had constituted a great sacrifice without his consent. It was a step beyond taking his life without his approval, she had taken his reputation. He could still feel the resentment and hatred, but it was dulled, as if his insides had been numbed.
"Khan Flavia had promised to settle the negotiation date soon. Have you thought of who would be left in charge?" Robin asked, "Someone has to keep track of the paperwork in my stead."
"You're coming with me?" Chrom asked in surprise.
"Of course. I can't be an advisor if I'm not there to give advice." Robin replied matter-of-factly, "I can't say that I feel much patriotism towards Plegia but...there was someone who showed me that Plegians were human. She showed me that not all Grimleals looked to me for death and destruction."
Robin had mentally praticed refering to Grima as 'I', but his acceptance level changed daily. Some days he could not bear to associate himself with his former life. Some days the new memories were like a parasite that sapped all of his understanding of the world. But he had a promise to keep. Even though the Mark of Grima was gone from his hand, he still had a promise.
"Your Majesty!"
The call jerked both Chrom and Robin out of their comfortable silence. A messanger kneeled down before Chrom.
"A letter has arrived from Regna Ferox."
"You just had to mention the negotiations, didn't you Robin?" Chrom huffed as he stood up and brushed bits of grass from his pants, "Alright, let's see what Khan Flavia had thought up. I'll see you at lunch, Robin."
"Alright, be sure to tell me what the letter says later." Robin called as Chrom walked off.
Even though he was once again alone, he didn't really want to move from his position. But on the other hand, he didn't fancy being left to his thoughts either. Still, the ground was comfortable and the air carried the smell of spring.
"Hello, Robin." said an airy and serene voice to his left.
Robin turned to see a green haired manakete standing beside him.
"Oh, Tiki. I'm sorry, I didn't hear you." Robin said, "Did you need something?"
"No." she spoke slower than the average person, her words containing an almost dream like quality, "I just wanted to say goodbye."
"You're leaving? So soon?"
"Yes, I am very tired." Tiki explained, "I would like to sleep for a while. Then I would like to learn more."
"About people?"
"Yes, I have been asleep for so long."
He had met Tiki once before, he was sure of it. He couldn't remember the exact events, location, or even her face. But one small detail stood out.
"Did Naga ever tell you who your father is?"
"No, I have not spoken to my mother in many years." despite the sadness in her tone, Tiki smiled a little, perhaps she remembered Robin as well.
"I almost thought that you meant you literally didn't have a father."
"Can that happen?" Tiki asked earnestly.
"Uh...well...I don't think so." Robin replied hastily, "I was just curious. There aren't many manakete left, as far as I know."
Another strike against Naga, though Robin was genuinely curious. Tiki had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Whenever his encounter with her had occured, it must have been brief.
After saying good bye to Tiki, Robin finally decided to get up and see if there was any work left for him to do. He had gone through his share of the paper work already and while he would've liked to ease Chrom's work load more, there were some things that could only be validated by a king's authority.
Money was being carefully divided up and sent to various towns and villages to help repair damages, the army was getting reorganized under his careful guidance. He didn't want to give off an air of martial law but order needed to be maintained. The more supernatural aspects of the war, namely the issue with the Fell Dragon, had momentarily put a stop to Ylisse's bandit problem but Robin wasn't quite idealisitic enough to believe that it wouldn't return.
As he ran through the placements of troops, he had taken his eyes off of his path. Therefore, it came as quite a surprise when he ran into something solid as he turned a corner. Something solid that yelped and dropped something that landed with a loud bang.
A wooden pratice sword clattered to his feet.
"My apologies, Lucina." he said, picking up the weapon and handing it back to her, handle first, "I haven't seen you around lately."
Robin hadn't been occupied enough to miss the fact that Lucina had been avoiding him like the plague. She did not speak or even look at him during meals except for a hushed word or two when prompted by her parents. Whenever they passed each other in the hall, she would speed up her pace or dodge into a different route. She wouldn't even make eye contact with him anymore, she had only looked him once since he had returned and it had not been a pretty moment.
Robin's eyes had changed, he hadn't noticed until Lucina reacted. When Chrom first brought him back to Yisstol, he had attempted to speak with her. The moment she looked at him, her face had paled. Lucina then quickly excused herself from the celebrations, that was the last time they had spoken.
Robin could guess the reason for her behavior even before he had looked into a mirror. But what he saw in his reflection had only hammered home the source of her unnerve.
His eyes were red.
His new irises stood out sharply against his pale skin and white hair. On contemplation, red wasn't a new side effect, it was a return to what he was suppose to have looked like. But even as he was steeped in his own identity issue, he couldn't imagine how it must felt for Lucina. It couldn't have been a pleasant thought to realize that there was no longer a break between Robin and Grima.
Robin had debated whether it was best for him to simply remove himself entirely from her life, to spare her a visual reminder of her original future. But it wasn't an action that he wanted to carry through, even if he was being selfish.
"Could we talk? I feel as if we haven't spoken in ages."
Lucina looked like she wanted to bolt, but Robin was adamant, he wouldn't move until he had his say, even if she chose to ignore him.
"Alright." she said after an awkward pause.
"I'll get right to the point." Robin figured that he sounded a tad harsh, but he knew of no other way he knew of to keep her from avoiding the subject, "You can't stand the sight of me anymore, can you?"
As Lucina opened her mouth to reply, Robin continued, "I don't blame you. You see Grima whenever you look at me, don't you? You see the Fell Dragon that tore your future to shreds, the Fell Dragon that killed your parents. I know the reasons for the actions of my future self. Disillusionment and despair do not not mix well together. I was hated for an act that I did not commit. Over countless years I decided to mold myself into the image that I have been given. I wanted to punish Naga, to punish anyone who accused me of being a dark god in her name."
Lucina had her head bowed and her fists clenched but Robin did not stop.
"I have accepted Grima's memories as my own. I haven't felt the full emotional effect but I know the deeds I have done. In the future, I did not place any value on any life, not a human's, not my own. But these memories are still mine, I cannot refuse them. Suddenly I know things that a human would not have known, suddenly I can perform actions that a human would not be able to perform. Every day I'm becoming a more obvious reminder to the suffering you have endured. You can hate me, Lucina, I will understand."
"Bastard!"
A stinging slap struck the side of Robin's face.
"You saved everyone, alright? We all owe our lives to you. Everyone who's alive a thousand years from now will also owe you their lives. Get use to it!" Lucina shouted, "I thought you were dead, we all thought so. You just had to go off and get yourself killed didn't you? Do you realize that you commited suicide right in front of your friends? Naga said that the chance of you coming back was pratically non existant. I didn't want to believe her, but what else could I believe when I saw you disappear before my eyes?"
Robin flinched, despite being prepared for an angry tirade, he had expected something more along the lines of cold fury.
"You come back and you don't even look the same anymore. You sound the same but you've changed. I don't what to think anymore." Lucina seemed to have started running out of steam, "I guess I just wish that I could see when Grima ends and when you begin."
"I am Grima." Robin knew that his reminder would do nothing to placate her but she needed to understand, "There is no ending or beginning, I can't change that Lucina. You'll just have to see me as an abomination."
"I know, I know. I've tried to accept it but...it's not something that should have ever happened! It's not natural to possess two selves." Lucina said desperately, "If you are Grima then you've destroyed the world, you've killed my parents, you've ruined countless lives. Yet you've also salvaged the future that you would have burned, you've saved nearly everyone that you would have killed. Tell me, how is that suppose to fit together?"
"What about the Lucina of this time? I'm not the only one who has a second existance." Robin said quietly, "Everyone who came with you from the future must be subjected to that reality. But you're right, it wouldn't be the same, none of you would end up commiting the acts that I did. What would you have me do?"
"Tell me who Robin is."
"Robin is...Robin is Grima who has arrived at a different conclusion about the world." Robin sighed, "That's all I can say. I am nothing more than an example of prioritized memory. The Grima of your time remembered his past, his time as the Fell Dragon. His bitterness towards Naga, towards her followers, and even towards Grimleal overwhelmed everything that he had experienced during his time as Robin. But I was able to make a decision while facing my future self, while looking into a mirror that reflected events that would come. It's an unnatural opportunity but one that I am grateful that I had."
"And everything that happened in your past is suddenly null?" Lucina asked.
"No. But it can be set aside." Robin said.
Lucina stared at him, she looked as if she were searching for something. Robin stood rigid, mentally preparing himself for her to storm off.
"If you are trying so hard to set aside the past, then I guess I should do the same."
Stunned by her answer, Robin could find no words for a reply.
"At the moment, it seems as if we are not so different." Lucina said, "My apologies, I should have sympathized more."
"Forget it, Lucina." Robin reassured, "Just please stop acting like I have some contagious disease, alright?"
"Right." For the first time in a long time, Lucina smiled at him, "But I still have an earful for you, don't think you are getting off easy just because your hero gambit suceeded."
