Hi everyone! I don't own anything twilight or i like big butts, those belong to SM and SIR MIX A LOT. Enjoy!
Flashback:
"It's ok, you look exhausted I don't blame you" as I say this I turn to him and I don't know what comes over to me but I reach out to him with my hand and rub his dark circles under his right eye with my thumb.
He leans his head into my hand and closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. I sit there frozen I don't want to move I don't want this moment to end. I really want to kiss him, I just have this unbridled urge to just do it.
I guess I sat there a little too long because all of a sudden Edward grabs my waist and moves me closer to him. I am stunned out of my thoughts and into what is really happening. Edward is going to kiss me.
Edward is leaning into me, in my head I'm freaking out. I haven't kissed a man in a long time. Is it like riding a bike do you just hop back on and remember how to do it? What if I suck? Haha suck, no time for jokes Bella you have to concentrate. He's licking his lips, so I lick mine as well. Closer, closer, I close my eyes and wait for it. It's taking forever might I add, just kiss me already!
I like big butts and I can not lie, all you other brothers can't deny. When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get SPRUNG!..
I instantly pull away from Edward.
"Um..What the hell?" I ask totally dumbfounded by what's happening.
Edward just looks at me with embarrassed eyes and then looks down at his pocket and then back at me, all the while Sir Mix A Lot is still singing.
"I can ignore it, I'm sorry. It's Emmett." He's rambling as he pulls his phone out and silences it.
"Why is Emmett calling you this late?" I am still just sitting there, Edward was about to kiss me and Emmett of all freaking people has to call and ruin the damn moment!
"I don't know, probably about Sunday, can we just continue what we were about to do?" he has all this hope in his eyes.
Continue.. what we were about to do? He makes it sound like a game of freeze tag.
Sorry buddy, but the moment is dead and I am really just confused. What's wrong with you Bella? He obviously wants to kiss you; he wants to continue, why won't you continue with him? That is a good question, and I just don't have the answer to it.
"It's getting late, I think I should go to bed, plus you look like you could use a good nights rest." I say with hesitation. I really want that kiss.
"Uhmm, yeah. Sounds, good." Edward said as he scratched the back of his neck while almost silently cursing Emmett and stood up.
I walk him to the door and we just stand there looking at each other for a minute.
"So will I see you Sunday at Rose and Emmett's? You know Sunday...fun day...all day long whatever you call it?" Edward asked again with hope in his eyes. I feel so bad; I don't know what's wrong with me. I answer and just flat out lie.
"I have plans that day, so yeah probably not, thanks for coming over and bringing the movie to watch." I swear I could of prepared for sepukku at that moment.
"Ok, sweet dreams Bella" Edward smiles at me and leans in again. This time it was only a hug. At least I got something tonight.
"Good night Edward" and with that I close the door.
I turn around and lean up against the door and slowly slide down. What is wrong with You, stupid? You have been crushing on this man forever. Finally you get a chance to see what it would be like to kiss him and you go and ruin it. Well actually that would be Emmett ruining the moment. Why did he pick that song for Emmett? Knowing Emmett he probably picked it out for him, like he does on all of our phones. Mine for him is Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby. Don't ask.
I slowly get up and turn out all the lights. Ill clean up my mess tomorrow, I have no energy to do it now. I get ready for bed and slide in. I just lay there going over again and again in my head of our almost kiss.
Maybe it's a good thing that Emmett interrupted us. What if I was a horrible kisser and Edward would be so disgusted. Thinking he could do so much better then myself and find a model to date. Someone who knew what they were doing. No, no that can't be it. He wouldn't have come over and did what he almost did if he didn't want to.
It's been hours I have been lying in this bed, and my mind has been buzzing of all different kinds of solutions or excuses. When it comes down to it, I am just scared. I'm scared of rejection. My whole life I have been this way, I just don't go out and do it. Always too afraid that I will be rejected and then made a fool out of. I really can't see Edward doing that to me though. I wish I could just let go and just be carefree and not care about those things. Maybe I can work on them. I mean I did change my life. I have been overweight my whole life, and the whole being scared is a part of being overweight. I kept to myself, was super self-conscience. But now I am changing my life. I'm not that overweight insecure little kid anymore. I am a grown woman and I look good, I feel good, I just wish I could act on those feelings. This is something I am going to have to work on by myself and hopefully Edwards's feelings for me haven't washed away from my stupid lameness tonight. After my revelations I finally fell into a nice peaceful sleep.
This weekend went by fast; I stayed away from Rose and Emmett's house for Sunday fun day. I couldn't face him just yet. I got ten million phone calls from Rose and Alice, I lied and told them I had to go into work and do some things. I feel terrible for lying but I'm not ready to face him yet.
Instead I went up to Port Angeles and walked by the water and strolled down the shops, had lunch sitting out on the patio of my favorite Italian restaurant. All by myself and I have to say it was liberating. I didn't constantly think people were looking at me and pitying me for being alone. I enjoyed it. I like this new outlook on life.
Monday came about and back to work I go. It's been getting a little slower, which is nice. Time to enjoy the little break. Maybe I'll take some vacation time, I know Alice has some kind of fall break coming up. We can all get away for a few days. I have so much time saved up I could probably take a year off.
I hit the gym as usual in the afternoon. I walk in and get ready as I usually do before every session by stretching. I'm on the floor with legs spread bending over and stretching my back when I hear a throat clear.
I turn around to see a very upset Garrett and a handsome man next to him. He's tall, like super tall with russet colored skin, and jet black long hair. I don't like long hair on men, but this man is gorgeous. The features on his face are well defined and stand out. I must be sitting there with my mouth open and just starring because Garrett clears his throat again.
"Hi Bella, I would like for you to meet Jacob." He points to Jacob who is standing next to him with a big goofy smile on his face.
"Jacob this is Bella, the one I was telling you about" What exactly have you been telling him about, Garrett?
Jacob reaches his hand out to mine.
"It's nice to meet you Bella." I take his hand and he helps me up.
"Nice to meet you as well Jacob, I hope Garrett has been only telling you the nice things about me, ha-ha." I chuckle.
"Yes he most certainly has, and please call me Jake." Still holding his hand I'm looking between him and Garrett. Why am I meeting him?
"Ok Jake, so Garrett what's up? Why so glum?" I ask, because he looks just so sad and wearied.
"Oh Bella, I have to leave for a few weeks, Kate my wife, her sister Irina has become very, very ill and we are leaving to go spend time with her." He says as he is looking down. My heart breaks for him.
"I'm so sorry to hear that Garrett"
"Yes, well we are headed up to Alaska tomorrow morning and Jake here is my replacement. He will be working with you until I come back."
"Oh ok." I don't know if I like that, Garrett and I understand each other, he knows my hard limits. What if I hit some kind of plateau with this Jake guy?
"So today's session you will be with the both of us. Well Jake mostly, I have already gone over with him all that we do and things like that. Jake is very good at what he does, I have complete faith in him to keep you motivated"
"Sounds great, let's get started shall we?" I look over at Jake and he still has that goofy grin on his face.
Two hours later and I am a heaving sweaty mess. Garrett and Jake are total opposites; I have done things in this session that I have never done before. I am beat. I want to strangle this Jake guy, couldn't he have taken it easy on me? You know break me in first? I didn't show him any weakness though; I took his verbal beatings and sucked it up. I actually feel good; it's nice to sweat out all my aggressions from the last week. After I'm done with my brutal session today Jake does a 360 and is back to his goofy grinning self. Weirdo. I head to the locker room and get ready to leave. On my way out to give Garrett a hug and give him my sympathies toward his sister-in-law. I avoid Jake at all costs. He is not beautiful anymore he is like the anti Christ of working out! It's going to be an interesting couple of weeks.
I get out to my car and I see someone out of the corner of my eye running up to me. Quick get in the car, I should have had my keys in my hands. That way I could have gotten in quicker. I turn around I see its Jake. Oh joy, what does he want.
"Hey Bella, that was a great session today"
"Um, yeah, sure it was...uh huh."
"I'm sorry I was brutal on you, I was wondering if you know you would like to um..would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight? You know as professionals, and you could give me a run down on your likes and dislikes while working out? yeah." He has in his pockets and shuffling his feet from side to side as he is talking to me.
Is he seriously asking me out to dinner? I have been giving him the stink eye the entire time during our workout session! What makes you think I want to go out to dinner with you?
"It's not like a dinner date Bella, I just you know, um ok yeah I would just like to get to know you better"
What is it with men lately and wanting to get to know me better? He looks so nervous and kind of cute. Wait no he's not cute, he's the workout nazi remember! Oh hell, just do it. It's a free dinner and not a night alone waiting on your patio for Edward to show up. Oh Edward, I forgot about him. Well here is to getting rid of my insecurities.
"Sure, dinner sounds nice. I live in Forks though, so"
"That's perfect, I live in La Push, I can pick you up if you'd like, or we can meet up. Up to you"
I don't even think before answering.
"Pick me up at 7" and with that I give him my address and cell number and head out.
I rush home and shower and change, don't have long until he picks me up. I actually haven't thought much of what I am doing tonight. Is this a date? What happened to having feelings for Edward? Is this like cheating or something? No it's not cheating if you aren't dating anyone. Edward and I aren't dating and I like him I really, really like him but I have to keep my options open. Plus this isn't a date, Jake said so himself.
I hear the doorbell ring and am brought out of my thoughts. Ok well it's now or never. I head to the door and there Jake is, he's dressed in dark wash jeans with just a plain gray t-shirt on. The shirt really brings out his broad shoulders and those muscles. Wow those muscles. Snap out of it Bella.
"Hi Bella, you look beautiful." How sweet, I have never had anyone tell me I look beautiful.
"Thanks." I mutter as I am locking the front door, we head out and I can feel his hand on the lower part of my back.
Something just doesn't feel right. I quickly glance over at Edward's place. What a mistake that was, because there's Edward standing outside his front door, all dressed up. Must have just gotten home from work. I go to smile at him but the look on his face tells me not to. His eyes are dark and his mouth is in a tight line. If looks could kill his would. I quickly drop my head down and walk out with Jake. What have I done?
uh-oh jake is thrown into the mix! I hope you all enjoyed, leave me some reviews please i love them :) happy holiday weekend!
