Notes: "Absobloodylutely" IS, in fact, real British slang. I made up Lily's own ideal "utopia": it was never really mentioned in the Harry Potter books. I really enjoyed writing the little fine details of this chapter. I really hope you enjoy it too!
Chapter #9: Utopia
"The what?"
Severus sighed in exasperation at Lily's anticlimactic response. "Have you not heard any rumors about the one room that is only available to those who are in need?"
Lily shook her head. "No, I haven't. What kind of room is that?"
"I've heard kids talking before about some sort of theory about a hidden room. Nobody knows where it is or how it got there. Those who even know of it just know that it's a hidden room in the castle and, if the right person passes by at the right time, it will appear only for that person."
"What do you mean the 'right person'?"
"'In theory,' the room only opens to witches and wizards who are desperately in need for something."
"Okay…"
"Well, nobody really thinks much about it since there's, like, a thousand theories and secrets about Hogwarts. I didn't either until I actually found the room."
"How did you get in?" Lily's voice couldn't suppress the obvious excitement that matched Severus's now. He beamed.
"It was all luck, really, but I still remember it so well. That day, I got really frustrated about getting lost and stopped to think. I walked passed this wall three times, all the while wishing to know how to get to Trelawney's room and…this door appeared."
"Wicked," Lily whispered.
"I know, right," Severus grinned. He practically shoved his strands of long, black hair out of the way as he continued, "Anyway, I didn't want anyone else seeing me walk into a wall, so I only opened the door when the hall was empty. And I found a room with a gigantic map of Hogwarts pinned up to a wall. Trelawney's classroom was circled that seemed to have been written with the same ink that was used to draw the rest of the map. Beside the map was a piece of parchment pinned up as well with specific instructions on how to get there from the Room of Requirement. It was absobloodylutely wicked!"
"I'll bet." Lily giggled. "So how did you find it again, Sev? And what could you possibly have been working on for two months regarding this…this Room of Requisite?"
"Requirement," Severus corrected. "On your surprise, of course."
"But what IS the surprise?" Lily begged as if she was a child again. "Come on, Sevvy, just tell me."
Severus let out a slippery chuckle. "Sure, sure. Well, Lily, I am hoping I know you well enough to know exactly what you love most." And suddenly, he was nervous. Worried that he'd gotten this whole thing wrong.
"Love most?" Lily repeated blankly. "Well, you know I love the art of potion-making. And…and my favorite food is shepherd's pie. You mean stuff like that?"
"Yeah…kind of." How was he supposed to describe this…surprise? "Well, Lily Evans," he continued after clearing his throat, "as your best friend, I feel it was only right for me to use this room to give you everything you've ever wanted. I, uh, hope I did this right." A wave of nervousness washed over him as he told Lily, "come. Follow me."
Lily took Severus's outstretched hand, unsure of what to expect. Everything her friend was saying seemed bizarre, yet she could not help but believe him. The way he was talking about this room with such excitement as well as fear and the fact that his story that would've been impossible to make up in just moments confirmed her belief.
Nobody was currently occupying the hallway but them, which seemed to satisfy Severus. He took a deep breath.
"Okay, Lil', I'm not quite sure how this is supposed to work. I've never tried this with another wizard before, but I really hope it'll work. If it won't, I'll hex myself."
"You will not," Lily said firmly. "Don't worry, I have faith in you." She grinned at her best friend.
Severus took another deep breath and began walking slowly in a circle with Lily following close behind. He bent his head down and seemed to be concentrating very hard on something. After three revolutions, Lily looked up with Severus and both of their hearts seemed to sink and arch along with their backs.
"Damn," Severus said. "It didn't work." He paused for a moment. Then, "okay, Lily, you're going to have to work with me here."
Lily consented and, after another two revolutions, wished she hadn't. Severus had her follow him again, twice, and think "hard" on two different thoughts each time: the first was whatever Severus Snape is thinking, and the second was my utopia. Both resulted in no avail, and Severus was fuming.
"Oh, Sev, you know I believe you, but maybe it just won't work with both of us," Lily told him. This was true, but she was also tired of walking so much; and, if she was being honest with herself, a part of her thought that maybe this was only a part of Severus. That, maybe, it was but a dream of his.
"No!" Severus growled, getting back in position. "Once more. I think this will work. This time, think Lily Evans' utopia: blood pops, potions, fountain. Over and over again. Okay?" Lily almost burst out giggling; what a funny trio of items for such a funny mission. "Okay. Last time, Sev."
"Cross my heart." And the witch and wizard followed each other in another set of 3 circles, both looking down and thinking deep and hard about one subject, one thought.
At the end of the last revolution, Severus was the first to speak. "I can't bear this; I just know this time didn't work either. I'm—"
"Look!" Lily said breathlessly. The statue of Barnabus hesitated in his attempt to portray a perfect ballet jete to the trolls and peered to see what Lily was referring to. His forehead scrunched up, for he saw nothing; apparently, however, he was blind because Severus Snape looked up and gasped and said, "Yes!"
Severus took Lily's hand again, almost as if it were a reflex, and led her with him towards the door. "We did it!" he said excitedly. "I just hope everything's there."
Lily, still puzzled but thoroughly energized now, placed her almost quivering hand on the door and the two went into the Room of Requirement.
It was all there. Right there in front of them. Severus's black eyes sparkled with thrill and he felt a sense of true accomplishment. He, Severus Snape, had succeeded in giving Lily her very own utopia.
"It worked," he kept whispering over and over. "All we had to do was both think the exact same specific things and it worked." Lily Evans was clearly speechless, too shocked and enchanted to say anything. She kept staring ahead at her very own fantastical world. "Oh Severus," she said. "It is so beautiful."
The room was transformed into some sort of outside garden. The ceiling was painted just like a sunny day's sky—or perhaps it was the sky itself—and there were brightly colored phoenixes flying overhead, lounging in trees or plucking lichee fruit from nearby bushes. The very center of the room was being occupied by a gigantic marble fountain through which pinkish-silver water was gushing out from the marble angel statues above. A gigantic library—no, lab—was set up on the left side of the fountain. Mountains of potions books and manuals and recipes were stacked up all around; on a long and wide counter stood several beakers, ingredients and a gigantic black cauldron.
In the right corner there stood a blue trampoline, the very trampoline that Severus and Lily used to play on when they were younger. A cross between a surprised gasp and cry escaped from Lily's lips when she saw it, and she released Severus's hand to approach it.
"This is amazing, Severus!" Lily told him as she sat down on the edge of the trampoline. Severus couldn't help but twist his thin lips into a beaming smile as he came to sit with her. "It brings back so many memories, and it is so lovely here. Phoenixes, oh look!" Lily carefully placed a hand on the graceful creature's head and then stroked its chin. The bird seemed to enjoy the gesture.
At that moment, a large, snowy-white owl lowered itself down to Lily's shoulders. She gasped with surprise at first, but when she realized what it was, she couldn't help but offer her finger to its amazingly strong claws. It wasn't until then that Lily realized the owl had a blood pop pressed in between its beak.
"Oh wow, I've always wanted one of these owls!" she exclaimed with delight, taking the blood pop from the owl.
"I know," Severus said, still grinning from ear to ear. "Now you have your very own 'St. Lucy.'" He scooted a little bit closer to her.
Lily slowly stroked the beautiful creature's feathers. It amazed her that it was much larger than her head, and almost larger than her entire torso. The owl nipped Lily's finger affectionately, then planted itself on her shoulder instead as if it knew that its weight was putting too much pressure on her single finger.
"You…like it?" Severus asked nervously.
"Like it? I love it…I love everything you've given me in this room, if you can still call this place a room." She paused to look at her best friend with fondness and curiosity. "How did you do it, Sev?" Her eyebrows pulled slightly together.
"I already told you," Severus said, cocking his head to one side.
"No, I know—I mean, there must've been more to the process for you to be working on it for so long."
"True. Well, to be honest, I don't think the Room of Requirement is supposed to work this way. I think people usually find it by accident and then don't find it again, and the first time they find it they're in need of something pretty general, you know? The bathroom, food or perhaps more parchment. After I'd memorized its location and I came back with my brilliant surprise idea, it was really difficult getting exactly what I wanted: all this." Severus paused to catch his breath, but Lily nudged him to continue.
"It took a lot of practice. The first time, I just wished for a specific thing—I think the fountain. Each time after that, I wished for something more as well as every other specific thing I'd wished for in the past. It was almost like a memory game. Finally, I thought of Lily's utopia and imagined this entire area very hard with all of its contents in place. Sometimes I'd screw up though. Some things would be missing or some of my other thoughts—like pumpkin juice or…or my last test grade—would be misplaced as items in the room. It was weird.
"I was so relieved when we opened the room today and everything was in place as it should be. I'd been afraid to screw it up." At this, Severus darted his eyes away from Lily's face, embarrassed.
"Wow, Sev," Lily whispered. "Thanks so much. I love everything about my little utopia, but why did you do it?"
"Well…" This was one of Severus's deepest secrets, but not the darkest. On the contrary, it was the lightest part of him and that was why he had to keep it to himself. He couldn't risk a barrier, an obstacle, a problem to form in between him and Lily Evans.
Lily
was waiting. "Well what?"
How could he lie to her?
Severus couldn't, but maybe he could broaden the answer a bit to something much more innocent. Something safe.
He sighed and looked at her and willed himself to plaster a colloquial smile on his face. "Lil,' I don't just want to be your guardian. I've protected you since we were kids, but…but I want to make you happy, too."
