Chapter Nine

"Do you need a minute?" The qualified therapist asked before he was willing to continue. Dante reached to grab a tissue from the box the man was offering, and looked to Lulu who could no longer find the energy to wipe her tears. They just kept coming.

"Lulu…" he whispered and gently started to caress his wife's shoulder and she turned toward him without lifting her head to meet his eyes. He sat the tissue in his lap and pulled her completely against him. Her head rested on his shoulder and melded against his neck. His arms were tightly secure and his hands rubbed the areas they could reach. "Can I have a minute with my wife, please." It was less of a question than it was a demand.

"Mr. Falconeri, this is my office, and we're making progress here…" Kevin cautioned.

"Let's just go home," Lulu mumbled into what was the space between her husband's neck and chest. It sounded nearly incoherent to the rest of the natural world, but was as clear as day to him.

"You're right," he said to neither of them in particularly. "I think we're done for today, but thank you. We'll still pay for the entire allotted time."

"I'm not so sure that is a good idea…" Dr. Collin's stood up from his chair just as Dante was pulling Lulu off the couch while still holding her close to him.

"We've made our decision, together… that should be a good sign. We'll see you next week," Dante quickly interrupted the professional, and then embarked on what felt like an endless journey home even though they were only a few blocks away. They could have just as easily walked back to their loft and had more reasons to talk as little. The only sound that filled the car was Lulu's struggle to regain a normal breathing pattern. Each quickened huff from her lips felt to him like the air had been taken from his body instead, and worse than the physical reaction was the acknowledgement that he could not say anything to change what had happened.

"Lulu… we need to talk about this," he said the moment they entered the loft and sat down on the couch. "We're home, and we're alone… let's just have this out."

"I have no idea what to say. I have no words!" she yelled and winced when her voice echoed against the walls.

"Maybe… maybe I wasn't explaining myself properly… or just said the wrong…"

"You asked for a divorce!" He could see her entire body shake from where she was sitting on the edge of the chair adjacent to the couch. Her newly harnessed anger pushed her tears back and she continued, "I asked you if you wanted a divorce! You said no!"

"I don't want a divorce," he replied as calmly as he could.

"Then why ask for one!" The sharpness of her voice reminded him of when he had said the fateful words in the first place.

"It just came out. There was no thought behind it… it was the heat of the moment and you were so angry… I was getting angry… we were really getting into it and then it just happened. I wanted to take it back the instant I said it, because I do not want to end our marriage. I am fighting for our marriage."

"Maybe you're fighting yourself," she said weakly as the anger left her body limp. Her voice cracked, "maybe instinctually you want this all to be over, and that's why you said it."

He fell off the couch and onto his knees right next to her feet. His wide eyes full of terror and his hands clinging to hers. "I do not want this to be over. I do not care how long or what it takes to make everything right…" He searched for more words, but his body quaked beneath him.

"No divorce," she put simply wiping her soggy cheeks. It was a loaded statement begging the question.

"No divorce," he confirmed as he stood to his feet. She got up and folded themselves together on the couch. Her legs spread across his lap with her back against the armrest. One of his hands was firmly locked with hers on top of her stomach while his other hand rubbed the thigh. He wanted to tell her how much he missed them being casual like this, but feared putting a curse on the moment.

"Maybe we're going about this all wrong," she interrupted his thoughts.

"What do you mean?"

"We're doing this the responsible way that healthy adults would do it. We're going to marriage counseling, and doing a checkless of steps… we're putting off having sex… I'm putting off having sex. On paper we're doing everything we're supposed to be doing." He nodded in agreement, but his eyes looked confused. "When have we ever been responsible healthy adults! I'm crazy," she admitted as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and caused him to chuckle in agreement. "When we got married we weren't responsible healthy adults…"

"Isn't that the problem though? How we ended up this way?"

"Maybe. Maybe not, but do you really think that this way is working?"

"Kind of… I don't know. We're talking."

"We're talking at home. Right now in this moment, we are paying $500 an hour that we cannot necessarily afford ourselves for someone else not to listen to our problems." He followed her logic. "We're seeing a marriage counselor not because we need him, but because that's what we're supposedly should to be doing. Maybe it has already served its purpose and the rest is up to us?"

"We've only had a couple of sessions and you want to quit?"

"I want to lock us in our home and just hash everything out all at once, really see if we can truly forgive each other, and then move forward. It's the quick and dirty way of solving marital problems."

"And what if it doesn't work? What if we go through all that all at once and we don't forgive each other?"

"Then we're probably never going to forgive each other in the first place," her voice was remorseful until she forced a smile on her lips. "We know the worse parts already and we're still here. So… I like our chances."

"I don't know… I want to believe it would be that easy, but there's a reason people like Dr. Collin's are trained in his area."

"I don't think it's going to be easy. I think it will be the single most terrifying and painful moment in my entire life… but I think it is what makes the most sense for us. We've both been through counseling before and it has its moments. I understand it's purpose, but I think we need to do this. And… just think of it this way… If we do this my way you could laid this month."

Author's Note:
Thank you so much for reading and all your reviews. They are truly inspiring. Please continue. : ).