Riku; You Make Me Feel Out of My Element

It was a mistake. Sending that text was a mistake. A big mistake, and I was sorry for it… But then, would I be talking to Sora like this now if I hadn't sent it? Would we be at this point right now? Maybe. Maybe not. I really didn't know. Some people believed in this thing called fate or destiny. I never have. But I didn't know. I really didn't know.

All I knew was, when Sora started telling me what was on his mind—what was really on his mind—I was in awe. I listened so carefully to each and every word, took in the soft inflections of his voice. The look on his face. The look of someone who was almost at their limit, who was fighting hard not to get swept up in the tide of emotions. He spoke his mind and I think I started understanding what it was he'd been holding in for so long.

"I'm a girl, you know. I've always been. I'm a girl and that's not gonna change."

"Okay." Because I didn't know what else to say.

"And I'm tired of people not getting that. You know? I'm tired of people being ignorant or treating me any kind of way because I'm who I am."

"Okay." Because I was sorry, truly, about what I did. About being so petty, about focusing on the wrong thing. Because this whole situation had taken a turn I hadn't expected, a turn I didn't quite like. Because I still didn't know what else to say.

"So if you have a problem with that—"

"I don't." I looked to him—her—and carefully reached out a hand to steady the swing. And it stopped with a slight creak as I stared into those blue eyes, truly stared into them, trying to get him…her to feel the seriousness with which I felt her words. My throat felt dry. "I swear, Sora, I don't. If that's what you do…"

"And you're not going to make fun of me for it. If we're going to be friends, you're not going to make fun of me for being who I am behind my back, Riku. Because I'm tired of people doing that to me. I'm tired of people hurting me behind my back. I'm tired of not realizing it until it's too late. I'm tired, and I am not going to get hurt again. I refuse. So I'm telling you now, Riku, if whatever this is—whatever this is supposed to be—is going to work then I need you to accept that. I need you to accept it and get it. That's all I'm asking."

"I can do that." I honestly believed I could. Because I was getting it. The way she was speaking with me, the things she was saying, the way all of this was playing out. I was starting to get it. And I wanted her to understand that I hadn't done it to make fun—not of her; that was the last thing I'd wanted to do. I wanted her to understand just how I'd felt the first night I had seen her, how smitten I had been when I laid eyes on her. I wanted her to realize that it was the girl I had seen first and the girl I kept seeing now, even if she didn't think I did…

"Then prove it to me."

And I paused, frowned. Because I wasn't quite sure what she meant by that. "How?"

"I don't know, but you need to figure it out."

"I don't know how."

"Figure it out."

And I paused once more, eyed the boy carefully. No, girl. Girl, I would call her. I would, from this point on. I watched the brunette's face, watched how her eyes were staring blankly at the damp grass in front of her feet. Watched the slight curve of her lips as they formed a pout, the way her eyes seemed to sigh on their own. Still bright and vibrant, but sighing and sad. I watched the tips of her hair rise and fall gently as the breeze picked up again.

I watched her and thought about how I understood better than I had before. How I knew that she meant what she'd said, how I was sorry about sending that text. Sorry about it all. I watched her and thought how beautiful she looked right then, because she really was a beautiful person. Innocent in spite of what she'd been through and honest. Even though she was a girl in a boy's body, she really made a beautiful boy as well.

"Hey, Sora."

"Yeah."

"I think I like you."

"…I think I like you too."

And it was out of the way. I think… No, I'm sure. A sense of relief and release had washed over us and I could see most of the tension from before disappear from Sora's face. We had an unspoken truce now, and I felt like we could speak more openly. Without the anger, without the bitterness. Without the hurt.

I let go of Sora's swing, watched her rock her legs back and forth once more like before. Found myself doing the same, causing my swing to move in the opposite direction from hers. She brought the text back up again, less bothered by topic. "Why did you send it anyway?"

"I guess…" I let out a breath, shot a brief glance at my messenger bag that was sitting by its lonesome just feet from the swing set. "I can be a sadistic son of a bitch sometimes."

"No objections there."

"Gee, thanks."

"I gotta get my quips in," she said with a small grin. "I deserve it, don't you think?"

"If you say so." I thought for a moment. Stared up at the sky. Cloudy. Looked like rain. Shit… "I guess I sent it just to get a rise out of your brother."

"Well, it worked."

"Yeah. That was the main reason at first."

"At first?"

"Getting close to you. I mean, before I found out you guys were related—"

"Don't call me a guy."

"Before I found out you two were related, I had just wanted to get a picture of you."

She shot me a curious expression. "A picture?"

"That's how I make sense of things. That's how I make sense of life."

She thought about it for a bit, tried to make sense of it as she continued to swing forward. The creak of the chains grew louder with each movement and eventually we were both swinging at full force in opposite directions. I felt the wind licking at my hair, whipping it back wildly. I could feel Sora's eyes on me whenever she looked over, could see the lazy smile on her lips that made me smile back. And we were swinging for so long without really saying anything that everything just felt right.

When we had finished, when we had gotten that out of our systems, we got up and moved to the monkey bars. I climbed to the very top and sat there, legs crossed. Watched as Sora positioned herself on the other end so that she was hanging upside down, peering up at me. "So, through pictures?"

I nodded. Started carefully slipping through the bars so that I was hanging upside down in front of her as well. Let my arms dangle towards the ground, let my jacket fall down and hang from my wrists at the sleeves. This was actually a lot more fun than it needed to be. "Through pictures."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"Why pictures?"

"Some people paint," I replied quietly. "Some paint or draw or sculpt. Some write. Others make movies, documentaries. Some sing or act or build and design. I take pictures. You wanna know why?"

Humor me, the brunette's expression seemed to say as she gave me an interested stare. She folded her hands behind her head. "Why?"

"Because I want to pick and choose what I remember. I want to pick and choose my memories, the ones I want to be the strongest, and I want to arrange them how I want. I want to piece the world together how I see fit, and taking pictures of the moments that matter helps me do that. Some people paint or draw or sculpt those moments. Some write about them or direct movies to portray them or act them out on the big screen or sing about them. I've got my pictures, though."

"What if someone doesn't want to do any of that?" She shifted, practically doing sit ups in mid air. Hooked her legs around the bars tighter as she reached up to fiddle with her shoe. Then she was hanging back down again, hands gripping the bar this time. "How do they arrange the moments that matter to them?"

"It's up to them." And I guess what she was really getting at was how she could arrange her own moments, her own memories. I guess she was trying to figure out how someone like her, someone who didn't know what to do with her life, could make meaning for herself. I really didn't know. "All I know is I've got my pictures, so what the rest of the world wants to do is up to it."

"Huh." Sapphire eyes blinked at me then glanced down at the grass. "I'm getting dizzy."

"Me too."

We didn't move, however, even though the blood was slowly rushing to our heads and giving us a numb feeling. We just continued to hang around (literally) and chat as if this was an everyday occurrence. I know I've said it before, but it really was strange how easily I could just talk to Sora. That was something I was beginning to appreciate.

She looked back up at me and asked, "You wanted a picture of me?"

"Yeah."

"Of me. The real me."

"Yeah."

"If I show you again, you won't laugh." It was a statement, rather than a question. It was the matter-of-fact way she had said it that made me laugh and shake my head.

"No."

"You swear, you won't—"

"I won't, Sora."

"Pinky swear." And she stretched out a hand to my face, held out her pinky, and I couldn't help but laugh harder at how serious she was taking this.

"What?"

"If you mean it, pinky swear."

"What are you, five?"

She wiggled her pinky, grinning. "Do it or I won't dress up for you."

And, highly amused, I lifted one of my hands and crossed my finger with hers, held it tight. Really, this was something else. But I was still smiling and shaking my head in spite of this, excited because this was a big step. "Pinky swear."

"Okay, then. I'll let you take a picture."

"When?"

"Saturday?" We unhooked pinkies as she spoke, as she thought for a brief moment. "If you're free."

"Tomorrow's fine."

"Hey, Riku."

"Yeah?"

"I'm getting really dizzy."

I chuckled at that. Then we were precariously disentangling ourselves from the plum colored monkey bars. (We were lucky not to fall and crack our skulls open on the ground.) Then I was walking over to pick up my bag with Sora trailing behind me. Didn't know where I wanted to go. Not home. But she followed me anyway, a little ways away from the playground. Down the sidewalk leading away from my apartment complex, back towards the bus stop. It was getting a bit late anyway.

The brunette nudged me on the shoulder, catching my attention. "Hey again."

"What?"

And her voice was soft and there was a light smile playing on her lips, and some sort of twinkle in her eyes that made me study her face all the more carefully. Then: "I forgive you. For the time being."

I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until after I let it out, until after the weird feeling that had grown in my chest went away. Before I knew it, I found myself grateful for those words, more than I thought I would be. "Better than not at all."

"And you better not forget your promise, either."

"Not to laugh?"

"To show me that you get it."

"I won't." I paused for a moment, stared at my feet. Tucked my hands in my pockets. Then I looked back at her because she needed to see me say it as well as hear it. "I never officially said it, so I'll tell you now. I'm sorry."

"I know." She gave me a look that told that she truly did know. "Just don't let it happen again."

"Okay, Miss Bossy," I said amusedly.

It was a bumpy start. I wouldn't go as far saying that we completely patched things up—the partial forgiveness was an indicator of that. And even though we hadn't really talked more about him than was necessary, we had a mutual (albeit silent) agreement not to worry about Roxas anymore. Not to think about him, not to talk about him or his little boyfriend. Because there was no need anymore. I realized this. There was no need to worry about that yellow haired brat anymore, and I wanted—needed—to get him out of my head if this was gonna work.

It was a bumpy start, but it was a start nonetheless.


Roxas was supposed to be out for most of the morning. He had practice for a game next week, so Sora had told me to drop by the house around noon when the blonde would be gone. Her mother would also be gone, most likely at her grandmother's.

"I don't want them to see," she had said over the phone. "Especially not Ma. She's never really seen before… Just a couple of times when I was younger."

And I had wanted to ask more about that, but the tone in her voice discouraged me from doing so. So I just gave a heartfelt goodbye after telling her I'd be right over. A half hour bus ride later, I found myself waiting in the brunette's living room having a staring contest with the cat perched on the back of one of the couches. I took a seat, let the feline eyeball me before she wormed her fuzzy ass into my lap. And I pet her—Sadie, her collar read—to calm my nerves. Sora was upstairs getting ready.

Changing.

I didn't get nervous. That wasn't me. I just wasn't the kind of person that had to deal with nerves, not often. So I really wasn't accustomed to the feeling of restlessness that washed over me at that moment, or the way I was bouncing my feet up and down lightly enough not to disturb the cat. My eyes flitted around the entire room as I waited.

It was a cozy area. One long couch opposite the entertainment system and two smaller sofas on either side of it; a coffee table in front of me, cluttered with unstapled papers, text books, folders with tests and essays. (Was Mrs. Sabota a teacher?) Beyond the living room was a hallway that branched off into two separate rooms, the kitchen and an office area. There was a bathroom by the staircase behind me, by the front door. I didn't know what was upstairs, but it probably looked just as nice. Cream colored walls, matching carpet. Maybe a little bit of clutter here and there. Not necessarily neat, but cozy. Comfortable. It was a nice house.

And I just slumped in my seat, stared back down at Sadie who was making herself way too comfortable in my lap and purring. She blinked at me.

"Does she usually take forever and a day getting ready?" I asked, obviously not expecting an answer. The feline flicked her black tipped tail, twitched an ear. "Just like a girl to make you wait."

"I can hear you," Sora called from upstairs, and I could hear the smile in her voice. "Don't be a weirdo and stop talking to my cat."

"Then stop taking so damn long."

"I need to curl my hair."

"You need to, or you want to?"

"I need to."

Of course you do. Amused, I just shook my head and continued to run my hands over Sadie. I could hear the sound of Sora's feet padding on the carpeted surface upstairs as she walked away, probably to the bathroom. And the nervousness didn't really go away but instead increased as I speculated what she would come down looking like.

Hadn't I told myself this wouldn't happen? Hadn't I thought to myself that I wouldn't get to see something like this again? And here I was waiting… It was something so simple and yet it wasn't. I was excited. My fingers were itching to take a picture, itching to just reach for my bag and grab my camera and start snapping away. And I did, after a minute or two. I stopped petting Sadie long enough to bend down and grab the bag from beside my feet and pull out my new camera—

The front door opened, though, just as I was sitting back up. And of course it would be the blonde twit that met my eyes when I turned back to see who it was.

He didn't notice me until after he closed the door behind him. Froze when he finally did catch sight of me. There was a red towel draped around his shoulders. He still had on his basketball jersey and shorts, a jacket over that. Still sweating from practice. I just eyed him blankly. "You're back early."

That was enough to snap him out of his brief daze and make him frown. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Sorry I took so… Oh." Sora came down then, sporting a simple slate gray T-shirt dress with some kind of dark blue lily print. Came down just above her knees. A black jacket. Black boots that I recognized from the first time I'd seen her, the matching purse. A silver necklace made up of circles. She wasn't wearing her wig this time, had flattened out her natural spikes and then curled them into a wavy bob that made her look like a flapper from the twenties. I didn't think it was possible, but she looked ten times cuter than I'd remembered. She looked like the girl she claimed to be.

Gorgeous.

She stopped at the foot of the stairs, stared at her brother. Roxas stared back, and I couldn't make out his expression but I'm sure it wasn't pleased.

Sora brushed it off, looked to me instead with a small sigh. "You ready?"

"Yeah." And I got up, watched as Sadie hopped from my lap to the floor before prancing off into the kitchen. I grabbed my bag and slipped my camera back inside, hung the bag over my shoulder.

"What is this?" Roxas wasn't having it. He looked from me to Sora, still not moving from where he stood. "What, is he your boyfriend now?"

"What if he is?" Sora snipped.

"You're seriously doing this?"

"We're gonna eat out, so you can go ahead and order dinner while I'm gone."

"Sora."

She wasn't listening. Walked over to me instead, hooked her arm around mine. Then we were pushing past Roxas out the door, ignoring the incredulous stare he was shooting our ways. (I had to admit, it was pretty funny.)

And we were heading down the sidewalk wordlessly. Sora still holding onto my arm, awfully close. I wondered if she could hear my heart beating, if she realized just how warm her skin felt against mine. The closest bus stop was five minutes away. I waited two before looking down at the brunette and asking, "You okay?"

A shake of the head. An exasperated grin. Then she rolled her eyes. "I'm over it."


"Has anyone ever told you that you have a big ass?"

"W-what?"

"It's big."

"Stop looking!"

I just laughed, amused by the way Sora made to cover her bottom with both hands, like that would make it disappear. We had caught a bus a little further out of town than I usually went, to Oalden Corner which was basically a shopping center with a movie theater in the middle. No, a super theater, because that building was freakin' huge. You'd find small shops—retail, candy, ice cream, furniture, books, gifts and trinkets, whatever—and restaurants sprinkled about the streets. There was a large fountain in front of the theater with benches around it. Little children in bathing suits usually ran through the water when it was on, and their parents would sit on the benches and watch. Take pictures. But it was too cold. Maybe when spring rolled around.

Sora and I were walking by that fountain now, still trying to figure out where we wanted to go and what we wanted to do now that we were out here. And she still had her hands on her ass, shooting me a fake pout from over her shoulder before turning towards me and walking backwards. "Who says something like that anyway?"

I smirked, lifting my camera to snap a quick picture. "I'd think you'd be happy to have a big ass."

"Can we not talk about the size of my butt?"

"Wanna talk about mine?"

"It's flat."

"So you were looking."

She wrinkled her nose with a slight grin. "Shut up."

This was nice. Wandering around without a set location, peering into shop windows whenever we came across one. Walking by other people, other couples, without them shooting us weird looks. Because we were just a girl and a guy hanging out, and it felt real nice. We were talking so freely, much like yesterday. It was as if the near argument from before hadn't happened. As if the brief encounter with Roxas earlier hadn't happened.

It should stay like this.

It wasn't long before we were joking our way into a sushi shop. (They had these out in town? Or was it new? I hadn't been in this particular area in so long, I couldn't be sure.) We took a seat by the window—"What's with you and sitting by the window, Riku?"—after receiving our orders. Talked some more while we ate. And while we talked I kept thinking about how I wanted to get more pictures. I had taken some on the bus, some while we had strolled down the sidewalks, but I wanted more.

"Why do they call them California Rolls anyway? They don't taste anything like California," Sora muttered, snapping me out of my thoughts. She struggled with her chopsticks, gave up halfway through before switching over to a fork and stabbing into her sushi.

I smirked, stole one neat roll from her plate and popping it in my mouth. "And how should California taste?"

"I don't know." A shrug. Another bite. "Like sunshine."

"That's not a flavor."

"They should make it one."

"What did you want to do after this?"

"Dunno." She thought for a moment, popped another sushi roll into her mouth. Glanced at a noisy couple at another table before pointing her fork at the bag by my feet. "That woman in your pictures."

"Hm?"

"That pretty blonde lady."

"What about her," I asked, arching a brow.

"Is she a model or something?"

"So she says." Larxene… Still didn't know what to think about that woman. Wasn't sure if I should keep going to her place, either—but she paid good money. I shrugged at the thought of the blonde. "I don't really know too much about her, but she lets me take her pictures."

"They always come out really good."

"Yeah?"

And she poked at her food, a thoughtful expression on her round face. Opened her mouth to say something, paused, then said it anyway. "Could you…maybe, take pictures of me like that?"

"You mean like you actually posing."

"Yeah. Like a model or something, like her."

That wasn't a bad idea, actually. I mean, up until now, all the pictures I had snapped of Sora had been on a whim and when she hadn't expected it, when she was doing every day things. Well, working, usually. Very rarely did I take posed pictures. Larxene was an exception because, again, the woman paid well. But this wasn't a bad idea… "We could do a little every day. With you in different outfits each time."

Her face lit up. Cute. "Yeah?"

I nodded. "It could be like a series. We could make an album."

"With Kairi and Naminé too?"

"That's kinda random."

"They're really pretty, too. I wouldn't mind. We could just get together one day and you could photograph the three of us."

She sounded so excited about the whole thing that I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I'd rather just take pictures of her and her alone. Preferably with her dressed the way she was now. But it still sounded like a good idea. "Sounds like a plan."

She grinned to herself, ate a few more sushi rolls before setting her fork down. Then she leaned forward and grabbed my bag, plopped it in her lap. I just watched her curiously as she dug inside and pulled out my camera.

"What are you—?"

"Smile."

I caught it a split second before she snapped the photo. Instinctively my hands shot up and shielded my face, causing Sora to let out a sound of surprise. "You covered your face!"

"I don't like getting my picture taken," I mumbled through my palms, lowering my fingers just enough for me to glance at the brunette.

"No fair!" She bounced in her seat, still holding the camera up. Eyes sickeningly, adorably wide. "Just one."

Shook my head. "Nah."

"Please."

"No."

"Pwease."

"Hell. To the NO."

"It's not fair for you to take all these pictures of me and I can't get one of you."

"You'll survive."

"One day I'll get one."

"Try me."

I was partially joking in spite of the serious tone and expression I had on my face, which just made her laugh. Something light and musical. I shook my head again and smiled with her, moved my fingers so that I could steal the camera from her hands.

And I took another picture, determined to remember that smiling face.


"I see you got yourself a new girlfriend." Larxene was skimming the photos on my camera, a sly look distorting her features as she flipped through photo after photo of Sora. I had taken a lot yesterday… And, of course, I didn't tell her that my new girlfriend wasn't quite a girl. Physically, anyway. She smirked. "Taking pictures of another chick on the side. I'm hurt, Ri-Ri."

I frowned, tried to take my camera back from her but the woman just shifted on her couch so that I couldn't quite reach it. "You don't get to call me that."

"And she's hot, too. Lucky you."

"You jealous?"

"A little." Manicured fingers still flipped through the photos, giving light clicks as they pressed against the buttons. "But, on the other hand, I'm all woman."

"And?"

"And you'd rather be with an experienced woman than some little girl, right?"

"If by experienced you mean old, than no."

"Rude son of a bitch."

I was practically climbing on the woman's back now, probably crushing her thin little spine. But she wasn't giving it up, and that just annoyed me. Her arms were stretched out and away from me as she gave a chuckle at my behavior. "Give me my camera."

"Say please."

"I'm not joki—"

Then she did it. Caught me by surprise. Turned around so suddenly that I didn't anticipate it, pressed her lips to mine. She was… The hell! And she was kissing me, enjoying it, smirking against my lips. And it took my mind a couple of seconds to register just what the fuck was going on before I gave a startled yelp—not a squeal, a yelp—and shot away. I found myself far on the other end of the couch, both hands slapped over my mouth as I glared at the woman. And she just laughed, holding my camera up in front of her in order to snap a picture of me.

I shielded my face the moment she pressed the button. Had to delete that photo later…

"What the hell are you doing?"

And Marluxia was back. He had been in the apartment earlier when I had first come over, but he had left to pick up something from the convenience store. And he was back now, closing the front door behind him.

Larxene and I glanced back at him—me with my hands still pressed against my face and this crazy pedophile heathen woman still holding my camera with a wide grin. She made a kissy face at her pink haired partner. "Hey, baby."

"Why aren't you dressed? Your meeting's in an hour." I heard the rustle of shopping bags as he headed into the kitchen, as he rolled his eyes at the two of us.

"Yeah, yeah." Larxene let out a breath, rising from her seat. "I'm afraid I won't be able to grace you with my presence until tomorrow, Ri-Ri."

"Don't call me that."

"Oh, you'll miss me. Just admit it."

"Stop flirting and get dressed," Marluxia muttered, popping the fridge open. And when I leapt up and snatched my camera back from his fiancé, when she had gave one last amused chuckle and disappeared into her bedroom, the man shook his head. "Damn little head sore…"

You're telling me.

He hadn't seen… He hadn't seen, I was sure, but I still felt immensely uncomfortable in the same room with him. Couldn't keep my heart from jack hammering in my chest, couldn't calm myself enough. I didn't even feel comfortable sitting, so I rose from the couch as well, took a few steps forward. Watched Marluxia put groceries away.

The man was busy sticking some boxes of cereal into the kitchen cabinet as he shot me a sideways glance. "You can leave."

"Right. Sorry." And I didn't move right away. Continued to eyeball him. "Hey."

"What?"

"You're aware that your fiancé's a whore, right?"

"Fully." It was an immediate response, so quick that I actually let out a harsh laugh. He didn't smile—I didn't really think this guy knew how to—but an amused look entered his eyes and he just let out a sigh. "It's hard not to notice."

"Just wanted to make sure you knew."

"I can hear you," Larxene called from the bedroom, in sing-song.

"Don't get mad because it's true," Marluxia called back, closing the cabinet. He glanced at me again, nodded towards the front door. "Go."

"Right."

He didn't have to tell me twice. I grabbed my things and was gone before any other weird shit could happen.

The feel of that damn woman's lips were still burned onto my own.


We never said it out loud—I honestly didn't think it was necessary—but sometime after that we ended up as a couple. I couldn't pinpoint a specific time when I realized this, but I'd guesstimate somewhere between that day on the swings and the next two weeks after it. For two months we met pretty much every day we could. At Sonata when Sora had work, then after that when I rode home with her. Or, sometimes, she rode home with me and we'd sit and talk in the playground. (Never at the apartment, because Greg and Mom were always there. That ass really needed to leave…)

We would talk about all kinds of things. Not so simple things. I learned a lot, more than I had thought I would. Like how Sora's dad had died of cancer roughly four years ago, how she felt that that was the point where her family just stopped communicating effectively altogether. Like how she had known she was a girl ever since she was six, maybe five, but had never said anything because she had grown up in a rather religious household. How she had just thought she was weird and decided to let it go. How none of her friends knew because she didn't know how to tell them or how they'd react. Like how there was a time where she and Rox had gotten along but eventually stopped talking to each other. Or how she had lived with her grandmother until she was ten because her parents hadn't had the money to take care of twins when they had first started out; so her grandmother had just taken over. Only after her father died had she moved back in with her mom and Rox.

Then there were the simple things. Like how her favorite color was orange, which surprised me because I had pinned her for a blue kind of gal. Like how she had a thing for long hair and blue eyes—I figured me having one out of the two wasn't all that bad. Like how she had always wanted to travel Europe, maybe get a French poodle along the way and name it Jacques. ("Jacques, really?" To which the brunette countered, "It's a sexy name. Don't judge!") Like how she hated social networking sites with a passion and thought Facebook should die. Or how she had a monstrous sweet tooth that kicked in whenever she was at Sonata.

Simple things. And I noticed her quirks, too, came to adore them. Like how I could read every emotion in her eyes. Even if she tried to hide it, all I had to do was look in her eyes. Or how she wrinkled her nose in the cutest way whenever she thought something was really funny, or how small dimples would form on her cheeks when she smiled. Like how she always hid her hands when she was embarrassed or upset. And when she got really flustered she'd cover her mouth and try to hide behind her fingers.

One thing I loved most of all was how she was generally the same person, whether in girl mode or boy mode. Sure, she'd act less feminine while in the latter. But essentially she was the same, and I loved it.

Saturdays Sora would dress up and we'd go out, because Saturdays were always the days her mom was out until late evening. And as much as I told her that it shouldn't be an issue with her mom, she still didn't want the woman to see. She didn't want her to know… And that was fine with me, because this relationship was a little different than what I had had with Roxas. We weren't constantly trying to hide from everyone. We weren't stressed out or miserable about trying to see each other without others finding out.

Speaking of which, it didn't take long for Kairi and Naminé to pick up on it. They still didn't know about Sora's habit, but they knew something was going on between us. In fact, Kairi had come straight out and asked me the beginning of February.

"You and Sora are a thing, right?"

And I had said yes without a second thought, which just caused the red head and her partner to giggle like little school girls. Which was downright creepy. Then they'd bombarded me with questions about how it happened. How did I ask? Or had Sora asked? What did we usually do? Was Sora the reason I started spending less and less time with them? Did we get to first base yet? Second? Maybe third? (They looked innocent, but those two could be perverts sometimes. I swear.)

And I'd rolled my eyes at the two of them and calmly explained that we hadn't gotten to that point. Yet. And they'd giggled again.

Then Naminé asked me if Sora's school had a Ring Dance and if she was going to it. Which was a good question, because ours was coming up in late April, and if I planned on asking the brunette then I had better find out soon.

And it was with moments like those that I got to thinking how Sora felt about it. Us, I mean. You know? Because she wanted someone who liked her as a girl, not as a boy that dressed up as a girl. And I wondered if she ever felt a little…well, uncomfortable with me. If she ever wondered if I liked the boy aspect or the girl aspect. If she ever got to thinking about Axel sometimes… I'd think about all of this and entertain the thought of asking her up front—but then those moments would pass and I'd shove the thoughts in the back of my mind.

I still saw Roxas. And it was clear that him seeing me with Sora—still—was eating him up. But he never said anything to me. Tried not to look at me. In fact, he took care to adjust his school routine so that he wasn't at his locker at the same time as me. As far as I was concerned, I wasn't worth the time. And I was over him, really, much like Sora.

He could get the fuck over himself, for all I cared.

We did our own thing, Sora and I. The times I went to her house often lasted late into the night, late enough for her mother to come home and notice me hanging over more and more. It got to the point where she started asking me if I wanted to spend the night over, if my mother would mind. (And instead of saying that it didn't matter to the woman one way or another where I was, I just told her yes.)

It was one such night that I finally asked Sora to Ring Dance, and—

"What's a Ring Dance?"

And I stared, rolled over in her bed so that I could get a better look at her at her desk. "It's like a junior prom."

"Oh!"

"You wanna go?"

"As…a girl, or…"

"Whichever you want. I don't really care."

She adjusted herself so that she was sitting in her chair backwards. Crossed her arms and settled her chin on top. "When is it?"

"April twenty-third. Next month. You won't have to pay, either. I'll just get your ticket for you."

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

She fell silent for a moment, blue eyes thoughtful. Almost solemn. "I wanna wear a dress…"

"You should if you want to."

"I don't have that kind of money for one, though." And her voice dropped to a whisper, a sigh. "And Ma won't get me one…"

"You don't have a dress in your trunk?"

"Not prom-worthy."

Ah. Well, I had plenty of money saved up, so... "Is this a definite yes, Sora?"

"What?"

"Are you saying yes?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'll get you a dress."

And her eyes grew the size of walnuts, I swear. They widened and her mouth formed an O shape, and I couldn't help but laugh at the look she was giving me. Shocked, she shook her head. "Nuh-uh."

"Yeah-huh."

"Really?"

"For reals."

"Oh my God…" She got up from her desk, still shaking her head, before sitting down on the bed beside me. Peering into my eyes as if I was playing some sort of cruel joke. "You mean it?"

"God, Sora," I laughed. "Yes. Consider it a three month anniversary gift."

"Two and a half."

I rolled my eyes, grinning amusedly. "Whatever."

Then she told me thank you with a kiss. Lips soft. Eyes closed. Upside down, yes, but it felt good and slow and deep and intimate. And I didn't care that the bedroom door was cracked open a few inches and that there was a chance that her mom or maybe even Rox might walk by and see because Sora. Was. Kissing. Me.

And I slipped my eyes closed then, because everything felt right.