AN: I know. I know. I could have been a bit smoother with Veld's actions in the last chapter, but I really was having a lot of problems writing that scene. It had to be there, (you'll see why later) but I really didn't like doing it, so when I reread it, I realized that I tried to write the painful (at least for me) part as briefly as I could and it didn't flow right. I'll need to come back and fix it later to show just why Veld made that choice and why Vincent decided to take Tseng to safety.
Now a Monster
Chapter 9: Blame
Vincent
What had I done?
I left him.
I left my partner.
I should have stopped him.
I should have questioned that plan.
I should have noticed, realized…
What had I done?
I vaguely remembered getting through the forest, depositing Tseng into Davies' arms and trying to go back through the cavern. I didn't care that demons were howling at the far end. I didn't care that Hojo was yelling at me, hauling at my arm, pleading that I stop, listen. I didn't care that Yuffie was pulling on my other arm, shrieking something in my ear. I had to go back. I had to go to Veld.
You don't leave your partner.
The trees stopped me by the simple expedient of collapsing the tunnel. Their root systems had to be through every inch of the forest, including the tunnel walls. I supposed that Hojo's screaming in panic when I wrenched my arm away and headed for the cavern alerted them to my danger and they took action. Still, I tried. The sheer wall of rock between the forest and the village might stop others, but to me it was just another obstacle. An obstacle under the rule of the trees.
I failed miserably.
I was finally pulled through the forest, down the steps, and away from Veld, or what was left of Veld. I knew demons. The most I'd find would be some shattered bones, perhaps a few scraps of cloth or a shoe.
I left him and he'd died.
I barely noticed going through the city: the people clambering in groups through the blasted gardens, huddling against crumbling walls, weeping in the doors of shell houses. Hojo was still at my side, latched
on to my arm, tugging me forward. Davies carrying Tseng with a nearly hysterical Elena dithering at his side marched quickly ahead of me. When we got to a house, Davies carried the unconscious man upstairs and I sat numbly down on the floor, pulling my chick into my lap and hugging him to me like a doll.
What had I done?
I finally wandered back to myself. It was dawn and I was alone. I could hear Hojo's voice muttering softly just outside the door, but no one else stirred. I was in one of the smaller houses that swirled in a nautilus shape. The room was a half crescent shape with a stairway at the far, narrowing end. The walls were a soft, luminous cream, and set with the glowing spheres that lit many of the ancient's houses. The floor seemed to be made of some type of wood that had a soft gold grain to it. The only furniture in it was a small, tippsy bench that was presently doubling as a table. The only other thing was the tattered, blue blanket that was draped around my shoulders.
"Osmium. Cobalt. Titanium." Hojo was whispering to himself.
I got to my feet and walked out. He was sitting on a wall with a small plant in his fingers. He was plucking at its leaves and almost chanting to himself, wearing only a pair of briefs and an old, baggy grey sweater that looked like it had come from the dumpster behind a second hand shop. His long hair, usually tied back in a pony tail fell around his shoulders in long, tangled whips.
"Nitrogen. Carbon." He was pulling the small leaves off and dropping then on the ground at his feet.
"What are you doing?" I came over to him, eying the small pile of greens around his toes.
"Phosphorous. Oxygen." He never looked up, his eyes riveted to the dwindling plant.
"Hojo." I reached out and pulled the remains of the plant from his fingers. "Look at me."
He looked up, but didn't see me. His eyes were blank, unfocused.
"Hojo." I knelt trying to get him to see me. "Hojo."
He frowned, as if troubled by something then stood, trying to step around me. I also stood and caught him, pulling him back against me. He seemed puzzled, turning that blank look towards me, not quite understanding or connecting with the fact that he was being restrained by me. His gaze went back to the path outside the small shellhouse, and he tried to pull away. When he realized that he couldn't go forward, he tipped his head and looked confused.
I am a fool.
I lost Veld.
I lost my chick.
"Come inside. You shouldn't be out here"
I pulled him back in, sitting down again and holding him in my lap like I had before. He submitted without even a tiny protest, looking around, lost in his own world. That world was a strange place for him, his look said, and it kept doing odd things: plants disappeared, odd creatures showed up and did incomprehensible things, and nothing made sense. He just hoped things would get better soon.
"Hojo. It's all right." I bowed my head resting my forehead against his shoulder as he started tugging absently on my sleeve.
"Carbon. Helium." His voice was soft, almost rhythmic. "Calcium. "
We sat there for hours. When he finished with my sleeve, he started in on his sweater, listing chemicals mindlessly. I doubted the chemicals he listed were really a part of anything he touched, not unless his sweater had been pulled through a silver mine. I looked up as Davies came down with Bettina at his heels and saw us. The two looked worn and more than a bit rumpled.
"Good morn…" Davies trailed off as Hojo continued his litany of elements.
"He was like this when I woke up." I kept my arms around him as he reached down to the floor and picked up a shard of shell.
"Bromine. Silicon."
Bettina edged around her husband and whispered, "I'll go find the doctor."
"Better find sedatives." Davies sighed. "The doctor has other patients to deal with. A quiet, unbleeding one is going to be low on his priority list."
I had to agree, but Bettina looked stubborn and Davies shrugged as she left. Sometimes it is just better to let a headstrong partner go. With Hojo, I'd had to deal with his constant attempts to fatten me up, not really paying attention to the fact that I, like most other Turks, already ate a very high calorie diet. Even desk bound Turks spend a minimum of five hours a day running, lifting weights, drilling in martial arts, and other combat preparedness techniques. My hatchling, though, stubbornly clung to the belief that I spent my whole day eating candy bars and therefore had to have a good solid meal when I got home. Seeing that he had never learned to cook, those solid meals usually were solid, as in calcified or charred.
"I guess I'd better find something to eat." Davies gave Hojo a worried look and followed Bettina out of the house.
"Aluminum. Hydrogen. Boron."
Hojo seemed happy enough when left to his listing, so I just held him and laid my head back against his shoulder. I hadn't been there for Veld. I had left him behind, choosing to carry Tseng to safety, thinking I'd go back. I should have dumped Tseng into the nearest alley. I should have grabbed Veld and dragged him with us back to the cavern. I should have tied him up after I'd gotten my weapons and pitched him
into the forest and let him sweet talk the trees. I should have been suspicious. I should have tried harder.
I should have been there protecting his back.
With that fresh in mind, I would stay with my chick. If I had to sit here for weeks while he wandered lost in his own mind, I'd do it. If there was any part of him that still recognized what was happening around him, I wanted him to know that I was here, that he was safe. He once did the same for me.
I looked up as Elena came down the stairs, her short blond hair sticking up in jagged spikes that Cloud would have been proud of. Her face was pale and her eyes were puffy with a bruised look to them. She paused a moment, listening to the continuing review of the periodical chart, then shrugged. I guessed that having been around Hojo she might have gotten used to him.
"How is Tseng?" I felt I should at least take a minimal interest in the man I sacrificed so much for, but it was an effort. Part of me resented his presence upstairs.
"Better." She looked around, smothering a yawn. "He isn't awake yet, but they got a potion down him in time to stop the internal bleeding." She walked over to the door and blinked out at the morning. "Is there any water around?"
"Ask Davies. He's outside." I watched her leave then reached for the blanket. My chick had to be cold. While the city is much warmer than Bone Village, it wasn't warm enough for Hojo to be wearing nothing more than underwear and a ratty sweater. I wondered where his clothes were and if there was any possibility of getting him some pants. I'd have to ask Davies when he returned.
My chick latched onto the blanket when I pulled it over his legs. Holding it in both hands as if it was going to be ripped away, leaving him bereft and adrift in a strange land. "Chlorine, cadmium, argon, antimony." He sounded worried.
"I know. It will be all right." I kissed his ear and stroked his tangled hair. "I'm here. I'll take care of it."
I heard Yuffie rustle a round upstairs for a moment but she didn't appear. I wasn't surprised. She'd fought well yesterday and was probably still tired. I doubted I'd see her till late in the afternoon. When we had been hunting Sephiroth, she would often sleep in later than the others after a hard fight, her young body demanding sleep (1). She always tried to pass it off, making it a joke to hide the fact that she was exhausted. Cid would chime in about being a lazy ass teen, and she'd run with it until no one thought about it. Except me and probably Cid.
"Mendelevium, neon, astatine." Hojo had pulled the blanket up around his chin, hugging it to himself."Copper, hafnium, meitnerium."
Davies came in with Elena at his heals and a steaming bowl in his hands. "I thought you might like something."
Oatmeal. I was definitely not giving up my hold on my chick for a bowl of oatmeal, no matter how hard it might have been to get it. I shook my head and nodded up the stairs. "Yuffie needs that more than me."
Davies glowered at me. "Eat it. I'll keep an eye on him." He nodded to Hojo who was muttering about gold and magnesium.
I glowered back refusing to let oatmeal come between me and my chick. Not understanding the epic struggle, and probably not caring if she did, Elena watched us a few moments then walked up the stairs, a chipped mug of water in her hands to keep an eye on Tseng. I might fault her on a number of other Turk skills, but today she was completely eclipsing me with her devotion to her partner. It had taken a direct order from Tseng, as her superior, to make her leave his side and help the people through to the city.
Davies knelt down. "Look. Your friends are here, and I may not live in Edge or Junon and get all the latest gossip, I do know they," he nodded behind himself toward the door, "don't like him." He nodded at my chick. "It would be better if you let me take him and go deal with them. I'll keep him safe."
I wanted to protest, but in the long run, it would keep Hojo safer if I detoured Avalanche away from him until I eased them into his presence. My abrupt change from rabidly despising him to being willing to kill all of them to keep him safe and happy would need time to sink in. Many in Avalanche had personal encounters with Hojo that had been less than pleasant, and the things I'd said in the past only solidified their hatred. I should go and meet them, deflect some of the damage, or failing that assess whether I should get my chick to safety.
But I didn't want to leave him. I left Veld and look what happened.
I should have stayed. I should have questioned that great plan of his. I should have realized that he was getting old, getting slow. Where was he going to find a blood trail in the middle of an evacuated city? Just luck onto one of those looters? Wouldn't that have been convenient? Wouldn't that have been neat? Just grab a looter and say listen here, I need someone to start bleeding, so let me shoot you and then you can run off and let the demons eat you, okay? and problem solved.
I'm a fool.
"Vincent. This is no time to brood." Davies sounded angry. "Bettina's keeping them busy, but they'll be here soon. Let me have him."
He tried to pull him out of my arms, but I held on, glaring at him. I didn't want to leave him, not when he was so helpless, so lost.
"Stop thinking of yourself, Vincent." His voice snarled at me, his words startling me out of my thoughts. "Go distract them. I'll take him to the small conch house across the street." He pulled again and I let go.
It felt as if he'd ripped my chest open and took a few vital organs with him as he scooped up Hojo and ducked out the door. I stumbled to my feet and followed after, watching as he disappeared into the
small house. Now I was lost. No Veld. No Hojo. Just me and a city of the dead inhabited by the frightened.
"Hey! Hey, Vince!"
I turned and saw Cid waving as he spotted me. Cloud, Tifa, and a tall black haired man were at his heels. I checked to see if there was any sign of Davies, but the shell house looked empty. Bettina was a few paces behind them looking irritated. I made a small soothing gesture to her and I went to greet my friends.
"Vincent!" Tifa hurried forward, reaching out a hand to touch my arm. "We were so worried. Are you all right?"
"I'm fine, Tifa." I winced as Cid came up and thumped me a few times on the back to show his approval of my good health.
Cloud was nice enough to keep his distance and content himself with giving me a nod. The dark haired man grinned at me, as if he somehow knew me and approved. While he looked somewhat familiar, I couldn't place him.
"We thought you were…" Tifa bit her lip. "Your demons…they were in Cosmo Canyon."
Cosmo Canyon? How? I thought they'd gone back to their own place in the lifestream. How could they be in Cosmo Canyon without me? Lucrecia. It had to be her. "You saw them?"
"I did." Cloud looked at me, troubled. "Death Gigas nearly crushed me and I know I saw the others too."
I bowed my head, missing my cloak at that moment. The high collar was perfect to hide behind for a moment of reflection. The fact that it was also rather comfortable and quite weather resilient was also a plus. I supposed I could find a tailor to make me another, but for the moment, I quietly missed it.
"We thought you'd fuckin' bought it Vince." Cid waved a hand. "Didn't expect you up here."
I got a bit of a surprise when Tifa turned to him and frowned.
"The diary said Hojo would bring him here." Tifa poked him in the chest with one slender finger. "We should have come up here and checked ourselves."
The diary? They'd read the diary? Cloud was nodding his head in agreement with Tifa. Even the dark haired man was looking as if he agreed. Did everyone know about the diary? The newest paperback best seller to hit the stands in Edge? Wonderful. The lowest point of my life had become reading fodder. When my chick woke up, we were going to have a small chat about his literary aspirations.
"Where is he?" Cloud looked around. "Is he here?"
I frowned and kept silent.
"Vincent, you are okay, aren't you? He didn't hurt you did he?" Tifa, still attached to my arm, looked at me more carefully.
The temptation to leap to my chick's defense was there, but it was overwritten by the knowledge that if they knew he was here, they might just do a door to door search for him. Still, Yuffie had to have seen him when they came through the forest. As soon as the teen was up, she'd tell them. I carefully weighed truth and convenient fiction. I might be able to buy some time with a distracting lie then get Hojo clear. However, with his present state of mind and the army of demons lurking to the south, it would be a problem. He wasn't up to a trip through the snow canyons, and leading him through the demons was also out. I decided on the truth. It was simpler, and I could still take measures to keep them away from Hojo. If the worst came, I could always retreat back into the forest and let the trees cover out escape.
"Vincent?" Tifa looked worried.
"The diary was true." I pulled my arm away. "He wouldn't hurt me."
"Are you sure?" Cid looked at me calmly.
It was an odd reaction. Tifa was looking startled at being so close to the world's most evil scientist. Cloud looked nervously around, as if Hojo was going to leap out at him and drag him back to a mako tank. The black haired man's grin was gone and he was watching Cloud carefully. Cid, however, seemed only curious, as if just checking a fact to make sure he knew something before making a decision.
"Yes." I kept my eye on him. "I remembered."
"Good." Cid pulled a cigarette out and lit it. "Never did like you runnin' about not knowin' what really happened to ya."
Not a shining endorsement, but it was better than nothing.
"But Vincent…" Tifa was now looking like she'd try that door to door search I'd been worried about. "He…he experimented on Cloud and he…"
"I know." I stepped back, giving myself more room to move in case it was needed. "He's not… well."
"Vincent." Cloud's voice was barely above a whisper. "Do you know if everything in that diary was true?"
He looked frightened. For a man who faced down Sephiroth at his insane worst, his fear was enough to make me pause for a second. What could frighten Cloud? I know he'd faced Hojo during the Sephiroth crisis and hadn't shown any fear, just confusion. What about my chick could frighten him? It wasn't as if Hojo was a great fighter. At best, he was passably competent with a small handgun at close range.
"I don't know." I noticed Cid looking at Cloud thoughtfully. "I only know the parts I was present for."
Cid puffed softly watching Cloud a second more. "I guess, you'll just have to ask him when you see him."
Tifa turned away frowning and waving her hand as if brushing something away. "It doesn't matter. It's probably just lies. We should find him and make sure he doesn't do anything like that again."
I didn't like the way that sounded. I took another step back and started gauging my options. I only had a few. Fight or flee. In a fight, I'd have a few problems. Cid was easy enough to deal with if he tried to attack, as would Tifa. Without his spear, which was notably absent, Cid, like Tifa, had to rely on his fists. I have yet to see a fight outside of the movies where fists won out over bullets. Cloud would be a problem, as would his friend who had all the markings of a Soldier with his well developed muscles and glowing mako eyes. I'd have to try for quick kill shots to the head. Or I could run.
"Tif, did you listen to anything Vince said?" Cid pulled his cigarette out of his mouth and dropped it, stomping it out with the heel of his boot. "He just told you that diary was true. Now, if that diary is true, how do you think Vince here feels about you sayin' things like that about the guy who tried to save his sorry ass?"
"I…I…" She looked at me then quickly shifted her gaze away. Tifa was a good woman, not always the brightest woman, but a good one. Her main problem, besides her abysmal taste in men, was her inability to really empathize with anyone in any meaningful way. In a way, she was a lot like Hojo was at the moment, lost in her own world. Anyone who would scold a man dying from a painful, incurable disease about being depressed has major, reality coping problems. Luckily for her, Cloud also lived in his own little world and probably missed all the implications.
Cid turned away. "We got enough problems. We don't need bad blood between us." He stepped forward towards me, his blue eyes noting how I had shifted into a more defensive position. "Besides, we need his help, Vince. He's the only one that ever dealt with demons before."
I took his comment for what it was, a way to calm me down. Tifa was still shifting around caught between vague guilt for upsetting me and her learned hatred of Hojo. Cloud continued to look frightened and upset, even as his friend pulled him aside and started speaking to him in a soft whisper, telling him that everything was fine, they'd talk to Hojo and get it all straightened out, nothing had changed.
I eyed Cid carefully and shifted away again, keeping an eye on everyone. "He can't help. He was hurt in the attack."
"Serious?" Cid patted his pockets absently, looking for a cigarette. "I'm not kiddin' Vince. We need him."
I took a few steps back, motioning Cid to follow, getting away from Tifa. With Cloud acting odd, her only way to cope was to target the most likely thing that was troubling him, Hojo. Cid on the other hand was, behind his cursing and cigarette fumes, a thoughtful, intelligent man. I could feel the situation out with Cid and decide on a course of action.
"I don't know if it's serious." I kept my voice down. "But I won't put him in danger."
Cid glanced back over his shoulder to where Tifa was now standing with Cloud and the dark haired man. "She's a bit high strung right now. Cloud's got his head fucked up again and she's lookin' for something to unfuck it."
"Still…"
"Keep him away from them, and I'll keep them away from him." Cid found a cigarette and lit it with a practiced flip of his hand. "But, I want to speak with him. We got questions about those demons that need answering."
I weighed that. Cid was offering me a way to keep Hojo safe and the small concession that he requested was reasonable. I wouldn't let them take Hojo out of my care, but someone asking him questions about those demons wouldn't be threatening, at least as long as I was in control of the situation.
"Agreed. I'll let you know when he's able to talk to you." I accepted his offer and stepped away. I wanted to go back to my chick.
"Vince." Cid nodded. "I'll stop in later and talk. There's some things we gotta go over after I get these people all rounded up."
I looked around. The villagers had already settled into the city. I could see smoke from cook fires, people walking calmly between the shellhouses waving and calling, a few of the village children were clearing off a patch of land for a game, and some of the archaeologists were already inspecting their new surroundings with small shovels and intent expressions. "You might consider leaving them here. The forest won't let the demons in and a few charges in the back caverns would cover that entrance."
"Huh?" Cid looked confused for a second then started looking around. After a few moments, he nodded. "Maybe you're right. They do look right at home, don't they." He scratched his chin. "Ya know. That might work out really well. Junon's gettin' crowded and Edge is almost burstin' at the seams. I could get supplies up here and they'd be set."
He hummed to himself, a stream of smoke coiling around his head, as he walked over to the others. I stepped away, sliding towards the nautilus shellhouse. I'd have to wait a few minutes till the others disappeared, then I'd go collect my hatchling. I was almost at the door when Bettina caught up to me.
"They're off to the other part of the city. Looks like their heading for the main building." She frowned at their backs.
I nodded. "They mean well."
She huffed a second then looked around the city street. "I like that idea you had. We could stay here. Living in a shell is better than a skull, and the weather is nice."
"Cid will bring supplies." I glanced across the street to where my chick was still being kept hidden. I then looked to where the others were almost out of sight and gauged the chances that I could go to my chick
without giving away his location. When my friends disappeared around a turn heading towards the west side of the city, I went over.
"Neon, terbium, dysprosium. Ulp."
I stepped in to find Davies feeding Hojo the oatmeal I'd successfully avoided. He was managing it by the simple expedient of stuffing it in my hatchling's mouth as he continued his elemental monologue. This seemed to confuse him, but he swallowed the pasty stuff without complaint. Considering how many times he tried to shovel the stuff down my throat every time I got so much as a slight sniffle, I appreciated the irony.
"Are they gone yet?" Davies scraped the last of the oatmeal out of the bowl and as Hojo muttered lutecium, popped it into his mouth.
"They're headed for the main building." I sat down and pulled my chick back into my lap.
He blinked at me as if I'd done something astounding then continued his litany. He didn't look as worried as he had earlier, so, after a quick check to sooth myself that he was as okay as he could be, I relaxed a small bit. He settled himself against me and with an almost please look, mumbled a few more elements.
"They're thinking of leaving us here in the city." Bettina came in with a small pile of clothes that she set down next to me.
Davies nodded and stood up. "I think I'll go encourage that. Some of the boys have already set out survey lines." He went out, only pausing a second to peck a quick kiss on Bettina's cheek before disappearing.
"I'm going to go make sure the others are doing well. Your friend Yuffie will probably need some breakfast." She looked thoughtful for a second, making lists in her head of things to do.
"Yuffie will probably sleep. She fought hard." I watched her nod and cluck to herself a few more seconds then with a last decisive nod leave.
Hojo had already discovered the pile of clothing and was fingering a pair of drawstring pants. The blanket still clutched firmly in one hand. "Hassium? Indium? Dubnium?" He sounded curious.
I pulled the pile closer and he smiled as his fingers wandered through the worn cotton shirts, clean but stained socks, khaki colored pants with worn knees, and threadbare underwear.
"Holmium, Technetium. Palladium. Barium." He pulled a shirt out of the pile and started smoothing it against his knee. "Lithium. Ytterbium. Seaborgium."
"Are you cold?" I ran my fingers under his sweater, trying to feel if his skin felt chilled. It didn't and he ignored my question, so I leaned back against the shell wall and let my chick prattle.
I could see the nautilus shellhouse across the street and after an hour Elena emerged. She looked around then quickly raced off towards the west. I wondered if Tseng was doing well, but a few moments later Yuffie, stretching and yawning, appeared to look blearily around the street before shuffling back in, most likely heading back to bed. She didn't look particularly concerned, so I guessed Tseng was still recovering.
"Sulfur. Osmium. Bismuth." Hojo hummed to himself.
"Yes. Everything is fine." I stroked his cheek with my fingers. "You don't have to worry."
"Tantalum. Erbium." He agreed.
Elena came back with Cloud, Tifa, Cid, and the dark haired man in tow. I could faintly hear their raised voices as they greeted Yuffie, her protesting squawk as Cid did something to ruffle her feathers, and a sudden string of curses from Cid as Yuffie retaliated. Silence settled over the street again, but I kept my eyes on the other house.
"Tungsten?" Hojo pushed the pile of clothes aside and was reaching for the bowl Davies had left sitting on the floor. "Indium?"
I caught the bowl with my foot and pulled it over so he could reach it. "Yes. You can look at that."
He pulled the bowl onto his lap and touched the remnants of oatmeal that still clung to the inside. "Fermium."
I turned back to the house and found that Cid was now standing outside the nautilus, leaning against the wall, and smoking. I couldn't see the others, but with a bit of concentration, I could hear their voices from inside the shellhouse. I considered that for awhile, then got up, carefully cradling my chick, his blanket, and his bowl against me and headed up the stairs. If I could hear them, then it was more than possible that Cloud or his friend could hear Hojo. The more insulation between them and my chick the better I would feel.
Hojo seemed irritated about the move though and wiggled away from me when I set him down. "Tellurium." He gave me a small glare, got up, and went to sit over next to a wall with bowl and blanket held protectively close. "Cerium. Gadolinium. Bohrium."
I guessed I just got told off. I nodded back. "You are right. I should have asked first, but we needed to move."
"Holmium. Thulium." He muttered and refused to look at me.
"I'm sorry." I sat down on a bed that was next to the door. "I will ask next time."
He took a few deep shaky breaths and then returned to his contemplation of the bowl. I heard someone come in downstairs, but the tread was too heavy to be Cloud or Tifa. I would have liked to go down and check, but I wasn't going to leave Hojo. Instead, I pulled out the gun Veld had given me, checked to
make sure the few bullets I'd had left from yesterday were loaded, and got ready in case my chick needed some quick defense from an intruder.
"Hey, Vince? You in there?" I heard Cid call from downstairs. I glanced over to where my hatchling was still sulking on the floor grumbling elements to himself.
"Cid." I got up and stepped to the top of the stairs. "What are you doing here?"
"I guessed you'd be nearby." He came to stand at the foot of the stairs, looking up at me. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened down south without the others around." He looked around. "Is it okay to come up there?"
I considered a moment then nodded. Perhaps it would be better to use this opportunity. With Hojo acting as he was, Cid could see and perhaps understand that my chick was more in need of someone to care for him than to be punished.
I walked over to my fledgling and gently urged him to his feet. "Come sit with me."
He looked uncertain but allowed me to pull him over to another bed and sit him down next to me as Cid came in the room.
"Now Vince, I know…" Cid paused looking at Hojo, who was still looking uncertain and mumbling about gold, beryllium, and radon. "Uhhh… Okay. Wanna tell me what the fuck is going on Vince?"
I gave him a sideways look. "I told you. He was hurt."
Hojo let the bowl fall to the floor with a thump and pulled his blanket closer. "Lanthanum?" He sounded frightened. "Erbium."
I slid an arm around him and settled him closer to me. "Don't worry. I'm right here."
"Curium." He pulled his feet off the floor and huddled under the blanket. "Florine."
Cid watched for awhile as I tried to sooth my chick. He seemed unsure. "Vince, this ain't hurt. This is fuckin' nuts."
I gave him a level stare. "He was fine until I…"
Until I upset him. Until I tried to go back through the cavern to Veld. My mistakes kept piling up around me. I left Veld and I lost him. I tried to go back and undo my mistake, too late, and I caused my already unstable chick to become even more unstable. Demons that were once trapped inside of me were terrorizing the world. The woman I had betrayed my chick for was leading them. My friends were looking at me doubtfully, and all I could do was watch everything fall through my fingers.
"Until you what?" Cid sat down on the bed I'd abandoned. "What did you do, Vince?"
I frowned, refusing to answer.
"You know, a lot of people think you were responsible for Costa del Sol." Cid leaned forward, his eyes intent.
"I was." I looked at Hojo who was still under his blanket watching both of us with wide uncertain eyes. "I was there." I realized I was avoiding looking at Cid and forced myself to face him. "I went to the cave to see Lucrecia and…"
"And?" Cid leaned back, giving me room.
I looked at Hojo sadly. "She stepped out of the crystal. I…" I looked guiltily away. "I was happy. After so long, we were together again. We went down to Costa del Sol." I glanced over to Cid, shaking my head. "I don't know why, but she wanted to, and I… I couldn't say no to her." I made a small gesture as if brushing something away, perhaps the memory of my idiocy. "When we got there, she… she did something and I lost control of the demons. They just rushed out and…"
"I don't suppose you remember what she did." Cid was tapping his finger against his knee thoughtfully.
I thought for a moment, trying to remember. "No. It's all blurred. Something smelled like burning herbs, and I remember her telling me to stand still, but I can't remember details."
Cid nodded. "Okay, she dragged your sorry ass down to Costa del Sol, burned some herbs, had you stand still, and the demons attacked the town. Then what?"
"She left and I followed her." I shifted over as Hojo scooted back to press against the wall next to the bed. "She went to another town, I think Gongaga, and did the same. When she said she wanted to return Chaos to me, the other demons fled. I fled, too and hid in the caves outside Junon. She tried to call me back, but I stayed hidden."
Cid bowed his head, thinking. "She was on the Eastern Contenent?"
I nodded. "I heard her there."
"Okay, keep going. What next?" He started searching his pockets for cigarette.
"Hojo came and got me. He brought me here." I motioned to out of the conch house. "We slept until, I believe, Tseng and the others woke him up. He panicked and tried to get them to chase him out of the city, pretending to be me. Barret shot him. I brought him to Bone Village and the demons attacked."
"Praseodymium?" Hojo's voice was a scared whisper.
I shifted back until I was next to him then pulled him over to sit on my lap. "Don't worry. I'm here."
"What happened during the attack?" Cid looked down the stairs towards the nautilus shellhouse. "Tseng is still out. Yuffie is barely awake, and Elena only knows about the evacuation."
I shrugged. "She came from the south. Little demons first then larger ones. Tseng got hit, and I had everyone retreat back." And I am a fool. I bowed my head. "One of the villagers…"
"Vince?" Cid wasn't stupid and I wasn't far enough away from the event yet to cover well. I could have probably closed my mouth and stonewalled one of the others, but Cid would sit, and like the engineer he was, tinker until he got the result he wanted. He could wait for hours.
"Veld. He was my partner when I was a Turk." I nodded towards where Tseng still slept. "Veld bought us time to get through the cavern to the forest. He didn't make it."
"Okay." Cid pause for a moment, letting me gather myself together again then glanced at Hojo. "And him?"
"He was helping get people through the forest. When I came through with Tseng, I tried to go back to Veld." I pulled my hatchling closer, as if trying to protect him from my own thoughtless actions. "He fell apart, and when I woke up this morning, he was…"
"Reciting the periodic table." Cid finished.
"Gallium. Iodine. Tin." Hojo pulled the blanket up to cover his face, hiding. "Sodium. Polonium. Molybdenum."
"Okay. Got it." Cid finally found his cigarette pack and glowered at it unhappily. "Thanks, Vince. I know that was a fuckin' speech for you."
I nodded, not meeting his eyes. He sat and smoked for a few minutes, watching me. I could feel his gaze, but this time I couldn't look up to meet it. My sins started with pure stupidity and ended in mass murder. I could only wonder what his judgment was going to be.
"Ya know. Reeve collapsed." Cid startled me, and I reflexively looked up. He was staring at the tip of his cigarette. "He left me in charge for some dumb ass reason."
I could name a few dozen without trying hard. I quietly applauded Reeve's choice.
"Anyway. That means 'til he gets back on his feet, I gotta make all the fuckin' annoyin' decisions for WRO." Cid puffed a few times on his cigarette, looking peeved. "An as the person makin' the fuckin' decisions, I'm deciding that you may be the most sorry assed fucker on the Planet, but ya ain't responsible for what happened down south." He puffed a few more times as I wondered if Cid had taken any odd medication recently since I certainly was responsible for what happened down south. "I'm also declaring that he," Cid pointed to the blanket draped, mumbling bundle in my arms, "is off limits. It's bad enough that we've got Sephiroth in custody, we don't need a complete set."
"Sephiroth?" My son? I looked down at my chick. Our son.
"Yep. That guy hanging around Cloud is that guy Zack the kid was always going on about." Cid paused to blow a rather nice smoke ring. "He says that Lucrecia dragged them out of the lifestream and I think he," he again motioned to Hojo, "might be the only one that can figure out this mess."
I agreed. It didn't mean I was going to trust them with my fledgling, but I agreed with his assessment of Hojo's knowledge. I was sure Lucrecia feared it. Someplace in Hojo's broken mind, he knew about demons. He'd been there when they'd been fused with me. In his struggle to undo Lucrecia's madness, he'd even inadvertently created three of them. He also knew a lot about Jenova and mako. In many ways, my hatchling was more of a threat to her than myself, Avalanche, WRO, and Shinra together. We had weapons and fighting skill, but he knew how to use them.
What had an instructor once told me? An un-aimed gun is not just useless but dangerous as well.
Cid sat an enjoyed his cigarette a few more moments watching dust motes float slowly through the room. My hatchling finally calmed down and peeked out from his blanket with a few mumbled elements. When nothing happened to upset him, he started tugging gently on the bedding while softly murmuring about vanadium.
"I don't suppose you'd come back with us?" Cid kept his voice down, watching Hojo.
"No." I loosened my hold on my chick to allow him to pull the pillow over to be inspected. "Not until he is better."
"Hmm." Cid went back to his smoking for a moment then paused again. "Can I send some files up about what's going on? If he gets his head back together, he could look at them."
"Yes. I will look them over, too."
"Good." He got up and walked down the stairs, leaving me and Hojo. "I'm heading out. I'll keep the others away, but either Shera or I'll be back in a day or two with the supplies." His footsteps clomped through the lower level of the house then faded as he reached the street.
"Arsnic. Promethium. Mercury." Hojo pulled the pillow to him and hugged it.
"Yes. It is going to be fine." I sat back, resting. I had a feeling it was going to be a long time until my chick came back to me.
Please review! I've loved hearing from all of you, and even if I can't respond personally to the people who aren't signed on, I want to say I appreciate your comments both here and in Once a Man! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
(1) Only after I got out of my teen years did I find out that teens need more sleep than adults. Where adults need about eight hours of sleep a night, teens need twelve because of all the growth and hormonal changes their bodies go through. No wonder I was always dragging myself home and flopping on the couch. I wasn't, as I was often accused of, being lazy. I was exhausted. I believed the eight hour rule and was four hours of sleep short every night for years. No wonder I was hazy in my morning classes, barely functional after four, and was an emotional train wreck. Continuous sleep deprivation does that.
