Snowdrops Are For Hope
By: pnaixrose
Disclaimer: I don't own DNAngel or its characters.
Chapter 9: Meeting
"Risa, are you insane!"
Risa blinked innocently as she pointed at a simple bouquet of assorted red and white tulips placed in a glass vase…that was almost as tall as she was. "I think it's glamorous! And it goes with the tulip theme!"
Satoshi snorted. Was she crazy? "Too flashy. It's not them," he retorted simply. "Besides, look at the price! Everything here is overpriced!" He shoved the price tag in her face to get his point across.
Risa frowned and glared at him. The nerve of this guy! Telling her how to do her job…
But he was right, she had to admit. This fancy floral store surely knew how to get the most out of customers. And by "most" she meant the "most money."
The girl sighed. "Well what do you suggest, Mr. Know-it-all?" Risa teased, as she looked over some intricate candelabra centerpieces.
Satoshi stood for awhile as people milled around them. He pushed up his glasses in thought as his other arm was crossed in front of him. He sighed, almost in reluctance. "I guess there's only one place to go."
"The flea market!" Risa exclaimed in horror. They were in a field with crowds of people hurrying around them as vendors tried attracting people to their stands. It was…
…so tacky! How were they ever going to find the perfect centerpieces for Riku and Daisuke here?
Satoshi grunted. "Of course, the flea market! You'll be surprised at what you find here. You depend on your almighty, overpriced wedding planner sources too much."
The girl groaned as she looked around in defeat. "Satoshi, we're never going to find anything here!"
Silence.
She turned to him and found that he was already walking away to some direction.
Gah! Why'd he have to be so overly sure of himself and so stubborn! She sighed and grinned, then ran to catch up with him, her heels getting stuck in the grass.
"You jerk!" she yelled as she reached his side, panting. "Where are we going anyway–"
She was met with silence as they continued to walk across the field, passing by customers and vendor tables.
Risa sighed. "Satoshi, I really don't think–"
"We're here."
She stopped walking and realized where they were. All around her she was surrounded by colors, scents, and flowers of all kinds. They were in a makeshift greenhouse, with a clear tarp tent enveloping the entire place. As cheap as it sounds though, it was one of the most beautiful places she had ever stepped foot in. There was an air of...complete tranquility and calmness to the place.
"Oh Satoshi…It's beautiful!" she raved as she looked around the quiet tent. They must've had every single flower in here, no matter what season they usually grew in! She turned to him and grinned. "I bet you love coming in here, don't you?"
Satoshi stuttered in embarrassment. "N-Not at all." Growling at her giggles, he walked toward the corner of the tent and knelt down, reaching for something under a table.
Following him, Risa asked, "What on earth are you doing?"
After a minute, he emerged with some glass, oblong short bowls at hand. Each was a different oblong shape and was wide enough to carry a load of fruits.
"I ask again. What on earth are you doing?"
Satoshi rolled his eyes as he placed the bowls on a nearby empty table. "Patience is a virtue, Miss Harada."
Grabbing a nearby hose that must have been attached to a water source outside of the tent, he filled one of the bowls with water a little bit more than halfway. Risa watched as he put down the hose and left her momentarily. She wondered at what he was doing until he returned with a couple of red and white tulips in his hands. He submerged a couple of them into the water and they lay there prettily, their green stems wrapping themselves against the bowl's shape.
Risa came up next to him and breathed, "Oh Satoshi…It's beautiful!"
"Something's missing," he murmured.
"Hm…" Risa looked around and suddenly spotted a few tiny white flowers above her on a shelf. Her eyes lit up as she thought about the similar flower that she had kept all these years in her journal…the one that she hoped had been left to her by someone that cared about her…maybe even Dark.
She reached for one gently. "How about these?" she asked softly. Satoshi looked at her carefully as she showed him the droopy plant. She looked at the flower softly, remembering when the flower expert, Satoshi, had told her about the meaning behind the flower. "The snowdrop. You said it was for hope didn't you? Don't you think it's suitable for Riku and Daisuke?"
Satoshi was quiet for a while, looking at her gently. "I-I'd rather not use those for Daisuke and Riku's wedding…" He suddenly said, "I-I think it's all wrong anyway."
Risa furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Really? I thought they would be perfect." She smiled up at him with a slight shrug. "Actually, I'm kind of hesitant about using them for Riku and Daisuke's wedding, too now that I think about it."
"Really? Why?"
She turned a bit red. "Well...honestly...it means too much to me. I don't think I could let anyone use it for such an important event." Risa looked up at him timidly. "I...I know that sounds selfish but..."
Satoshi slowly grabbed it from her and looked at it. "I...know what you mean, I think."
"So...you mean the flower means a lot to you, too Satoshi?"
He gave a slight shrug, still looking at the flower. "I guess you can say that..."
She smiled at him softly, noticing his serious tone. Deciding not to push the subject on, Risa looked up and saw some tiny yellow flowers that grew in bunches. "How bout these?"
"Forsythias," Satoshi mused quietly. "They're nice. They symbolize anticipation."
"Then we have our final touch!" She replied happily. "We'll just sprinkle a few in each bowl so they float on water. That would beautiful, no?"
Satoshi nodded.
Excitedly Risa did as she said, sprinkling s few forsythias here and there and picked up the bowl in satisfaction. "Let's go show the owner what we're planning."
The man next to her nodded, still holding the snowdrop in his hand.
"I wonder where the vendor is for all these flowers," Risa mused aloud with a very silent Satoshi standing next to her. They were both standing quite patiently at the counter. She glanced at him momentarily. He had been quiet for a long time, just looking down silently at the snowdrop flower. She frowned. Sure he was never the talkative type but…
…had she said something wrong?
Suddenly a beautiful, long haired maiden rushed into the tent from a back entrance and to the counter. She pushed her golden locks away from her face into a ponytail as she looked at them with apologetic hazel eyes.
"I-I'm so sorry," she explained bowing a bit, discreetly wiping her hands on her apron. "I had to help an elderly man carry some flowers to his–"
Suddenly she stopped mid-sentence and caught the blue-haired man's eye. Confused, Risa noticed a tension build up in the air and after awhile, Satoshi looked away gruffly.
"I-It's quite alright," Risa interjected suddenly, still wondering what that was all about, "We were just wondering about purchasing a couple of these glass bowls and tulips and…for…for…"
"Forsythias," Satoshi added quietly.
Risa smiled thankfully. "Yes. Forsythias. My male friend here knows a lot more about flowers than I do," she added with a laugh.
The vendor gave a small smile as she took the bowls. "Wow, that's impressive," she said quietly. "I'll…just ring these up for you and wrap up these flowers."
"Oh well, we'll probably need a bunch more of everything because it's for wedding centerpieces," Risa explained.
The vendor seemed to be surprised. "W-Wedding?"
Risa nodded. "It's my twin sister and her fiancé's wedding soon." The brown haired girl smiled. "I'm the wedding planner."
The hazel-eyed girl widened her eyes in fascination. "Harada Riku and Niwa Daisuke's?"
The other Harada laughed. "Yeah, I guess everyone knows about them here, huh? I'm Harada Risa. Nice to meet you," she said as she outstretched her hand.
The vendor smiled, taking the handshake. "I'm Kimura Misaki. Nice to meet you too, Harada-san."
Risa smiled. However, an uncomfortable silence ensued as she expected her escort to introduce himself as well. She looked at him expectantly and he looked away, somewhat in annoyance, his eyes glaring. Risa glared back at him, shocked at how insensitive he was being.
"W-Well," Misaki started uncomfortably, seeing the interaction between her two customers, "I'll wrap these up for you and you just call me with the exact number of flowers and bowls. Is that alright?"
"That would be great, thanks," the Harada replied with an apologetic smile.
After they exchanged numbers, Misaki gave a short smile as she left for the back with the flowers and bowls. After her disappearance, Risa turned to Satoshi and smacked his arm in irritation. He glared at her in reply.
"Why are you being so rude?" Risa demanded.
"I'm not being rude," Satoshi grunted.
She rolled her eyes. "You didn't even introduce yourself to her! And she's being so nice, too!"
"I just don't feel like it, okay?"
The girl sighed in annoyance, looked away sharply, and let silence envelope the air. What a guy! She couldn't believe that she had even thought about the possibility of having feelings for him! Stupid Riku and Daisuke, getting stupid thoughts stuck in her head. No way would she ever respect a guy who was as rude and self-centered as–
Suddenly she felt someone gently pull her face with tender fingers. She looked up in surprise and met with blue eyes staring down at her, feeling paralyzed. "Satoshi?"
He looked at her with a bit of sadness. Then suddenly, he lifted his other arm and gently placed the snowdrop flower behind her ear. "Look, I'm sorry okay? I just…it's a long story. But I know Kimura-san. We don't exactly get along," he mumbled quietly and in embarrassment.
Risa blinked in surprise. How could he easily and suddenly switch his personality on her like that? One minute he was the more arrogant jerk then the next she found herself looking up at his sincere face and melting under his blue gaze.
But he knew Kimura-san? Suddenly a fire of jealousy sprang up inside of her. She had thought he didn't associate with any other girls except Riku and now herself. After all, back at Riku's restaurant's party, Satoshi had tried to avoid women as if they were the plague. What had gone on between Satoshi and Kimura-san? What was their relationship?
Secretly, Risa hoped with all her heart that it wasn't anything more than a rude, angry customer and a fed up vendor relationship.
Suddenly, a quiet cough was heard from behind the counter. "Here you go, Harada-san," Misaki said quietly as she handed the items in three heavy bags. After giving her the price, Risa paid for them and smiled.
"Well, th-thank you very much, Kimura-san!"
Misaki nodded but stared at her, or more specifically, her ear.
"Oh," Risa said embarrassedly, realizing that Kimura-san was looking at the snowdrop. She reached up to touch the flower behind her ear, "Sorry I forgot about this. How much–"
"It's on the house," Misaki interrupted with a tight smile on her lips. She seemed to give a curt glare to the man standing next to Risa, as Satoshi simply pulled Risa away.
Risa muttered a quiet and nervous, "Th-Thank you," as the blue haired man pulled her away
"These things are so heavy!" Risa complained as they trudged through the flea market, the crowd of people brushing past them rudely. And she was only carrying one bag! To make it worse, Satoshi was carrying the other two with such ease!
Maybe she should hit the gym more often!
"Here, let me take it," Satoshi offered.
As much as she would like to simply hand the bag over, Risa wouldn't let this guy make her look weak! "N-No way!" she said stubbornly, frowning and panting at the same time. "Please...I-I can handle this."
Her companion simply shrugged as they trudged on toward the parking lot. After what had seemed like walking a mile up a mountain, Risa was extremely grateful when she finally saw the familiar black sports car in front of her. Loading the bags in the back, she climbed into the front seat and rubbed her aching arms after slamming the car door.
"Don't work out much, do you?" Satoshi said with a smirk, as he entered the driver's seat and slammed the door as well.
"Shut up!" She replied, grinning at him.
Suddenly she saw his gaze soften as he continued to look at her. Risa felt self-conscious…but at the same time wanted him to stare at her with such caring eyes. It was…strange. She couldn't explain it.
Satoshi felt his heart melt and beat faster at the same time once she gave him that million dollar smile of hers. How could she always do that to him? With just one simple smile she made him want to know everything about her life and spill everything about his own life to her. Never before had he felt such an urge to just…let everything go and be happy.
Suddenly she began giggling.
"What?" he asked.
"I-I'm sorry. It's not that funny. More like surprising!" she replied, still giggling a bit.
"What is?"
"You!" Risa exclaimed. "You're smiling!"
He suddenly felt embarrassed and turned red, quickly whipping his head from her to turn on the engine and drive from the parking space.
"And now you're blushing!"
"Risa," he growled, "you better shut up before I decide to just drop you off on the street!"
Risa laughed heartily, trying to quiet down a bit.
Unknown to her, Satoshi still had a tint of a smile on his lips.
"Thank god! Finally we're here!" Risa exclaimed as she set the bag from the flea market on the living room floor. Her companion followed behind her as he too set the other two bags on the floor. Now in Riku and Daisuke's house, Risa looked around momentarily into the kitchen and sitting room while calling out, "Anybody home?"
She shrugged and turned to Satoshi who was a few feet away from her. "I guess they're still not back yet. Hope everything at the catering company turned out all right."
"Yeah."
Suddenly Risa laughed in embarrassment. "Jeez, where are my manners? Would you like a drink or something before you leave?"
He shook his head. "No, no…I'm fine," he said looking at the floor quietly. Why didn't he want to leave? The last thing he wanted to do was go to work. In fact, doing anything without Risa next to his side was the last thing he wanted to do.
Ugh. He was being so pathetic…He never thought he would ever feel this way.
After a moment, he reluctantly turned towards the door, "Well I'll see you–"
A slim, small hand suddenly grabbed his arm. "Wait, Satoshi…"
Surprised, he looked at her slowly, trying to push his beating heart down from his throat.
It was silent for a moment, and Risa was surprised at her own actions. She wasn't sure why she had done that, had stopped him from leaving. The thought of him leaving her side suddenly saddened her and she had just acted without thinking.
Besides…she wanted to look at his eyes…just like last night.
"Satoshi…"
Shit Risa, don't say my name like that, he thought. Hearing her say his name so softly and seriously like that made him want to just…
Ugh. Since when did he think these perverted thoughts!
She smiled up at him, making him feel so weak in the knees. "Today was…fun. Thank you."
"I-I was forced into it," he said stubbornly, even though he knew it was entirely untrue. What a lie! I wanted to come! I wanted to be with you!
Risa laughed. "Well, whether or not you wanted to come with me…I'm glad you did." She smiled to herself. "It's been awhile since…I've felt that everything's been so right. From starting to be closer to Riku and Daisuke and then us…"
There she goes again…being so carelessly open to him. But at her last comment, Satoshi heart thudded in his ears. "Us?" Was there even a them?
She blushed in embarrassment. "W-Well, you know…just getting closer to you and everything! I wouldn't have found Riku's perfect centerpieces without you," she said quietly. She took a deep breath, thinking about last night at Riku's restaurant's party and wanting to talk about it. How right everything had felt. How amazing he had looked. The pleading, lonely look in his gorgeous eyes…How they had almost kissed in the moonlight…
"And last night…in the garden at the restaurant…" she started. But seeing those eyes looking down at her quizzically made her lose her nerve. She looked down quickly, staring at her high heeled shoes. "N-Never mind."
Slowly, a finger lifted her chin to make her look up at his blue orbs again. It was the second time that day that he had so gently touched her face and it again surprised her that he would be that gentle.
"Last night?" he said huskily, staring down at her in quiet anticipation.
There they were again. Only a few inches apart, close enough for Risa to smell a mixture of a hint of men's cologne and some type of flower scent. She gazed up at him weakly, getting lost in his captivating eyes once again. She saw the pleading in his eyes, the want, the need. It was still a strange feeling to have someone feel this way about her, to need her so much, when she had always been the one that needed help.
But she understood his feelings…she had felt this way about Dark for such a long time.
Suddenly she realized something. Dark…he hadn't been plaguing her mind like usual for a very long time. She didn't picture his long dark hair or his deep eyes. Instead, for the longest time, all she could picture was a blue-haired man with glasses covering his blue eyes. But it was all very confusing. She had never even thought about the idea that she wouldn't be thinking about Dark, much less think about another man.
Satoshi watched as her eyes deepened in confusion, her furrowed eyebrows accentuating her bewildered emotions. He watched as she fought with herself, trying to figure out a newfound feeling towards him while searching for that familiar feeling of lost love with Dark. Dark…he was on her mind again. Dark was always on her mind. Last night at Riku's restaurant garden she was thinking about him. He had pulled away then, feeling denied.
But…she had stopped him. She had made him face her again.
He suddenly felt very angry at her. Couldn't she make up her mind? Couldn't she see how much it killed him to know she was still thinking about Dark? Couldn't she see that he was willing to put his whole life and soul out there for her if she'd only promise not to hurt him or be so tied up with that son of a bitch?
His anger got the better of him when he suddenly and gently grabbed her, cupping her face with both of his hands and bringing her a tad bit closer to him. Risa was startled, and found herself so close to him that she could feel the warmth from his body.
"Risa," he said darkly, his voice insistent and desperate. "Listen to me…please. Dark is gone but I-"
He saw her eyes widen with hurt and immediately regretted his words. But when she tried to turn away from him, he realized that he needed to let her know. Needed to finally tell her.
He gently pulled her face back up and bravely leaned his forehead against hers, swallowing hard. It made him dizzy to be so close to her, that he almost forgot his purpose.
"And I only tell you that, Risa, because I…" He swallowed again, trying to get rid of that dry feeling in his throat. "…I…"
His eyes bore into hers as he willed himself to tell her. To finally tell her, after keeping it so locked up inside of him for so many endless nights, would surely relieve him of the feeling of the world sitting on his shoulders, right? Surely she might feel the same after all the emotions that had passed between them? Surely he might be able to finally wrap her in his arms and kiss her until they both couldn't breathe?
But that word. Might. It was a scary word that left so many other possibilities open. Although it included happiness, love, and completeness as possibilities…
…It also included rejection and loneliness as well.
And although he was lonely now, being rejected by Risa would far exceed that feeling.
He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell her. Especially if that bastard Dark was still on her mind.
Risa saw his struggle, his doubt. She wanted him to tell her, open up to her. "It's okay, Satoshi," she whispered, her face still being cradled by his rough, calloused hands. She wrapped hers around his wrists and gently asked him with her eyes to go on. "Tell me. I want you to…"
He swallowed yet again, feeling the warmth of her hands. Oh how he wanted to, too.
Finally, he sighed and broke away from her, suddenly feeling cold. She, too, sighed in disappointment. An uncomfortable silence settled between them.
"Look, Risa," Satoshi finally said, looking at her seriously and almost angrily both at himself and her. "Dark is gone."
She glared at him. "Stop it, Satoshi."
He continued relentlessly. "You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it."
"Please…stop it."
"And he isn't coming back."
"Stop it!" she exploded, tears coming to her eyes. How could he say these things to her? He knew how confused her feelings were! He knew that for the past how many years the only thing that had been on her mind was Dark, and the hope that he was somewhere, waiting for her, loving her! For the longest time, just that thought alone had kept her going! It was everything that the simple snowdrop in her journal stood for! Surely he understood that! "H-How could you be telling me this! Why are you telling me this!" she shouted angrily as she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes.
Satoshi felt a sharp pain in his stomach as he watched her cry at the words he had said. His words. He had made her cry.
Suddenly he enveloped her in his arms, feeling relaxed after bringing her close to him once again. She tried pushing him away, hiding her face, and even whipping her arms at him, but he only brought her closer. Finally, she stopped struggling and simply cried into his shirt as she held on to him weakly.
"I-I'm sorry," Satoshi said, apologizing for one of the very few times in his life. He cradled her, feeling so relaxed with her in his arms, and brushed his cheek across the top of her head, her honey brown hair tickling his nose. "It's just that…how could you be thinking of him? When I'm right here…trying to…to…"
Risa's tears started to subside as they stood there in the main room of Daisuke and Riku's house. Only Risa's soft sniffles were heard as Satoshi simply continued to hold her, never wanting to let go.
The twin, her wet face buried against his chest and her hands grasping to the front of his shirt, took in his words carefully. Yes, she knew that everything he had said was true. No matter how angry she got, no matter how much it hurt, everything was true. It had just needed someone to simply say it to her to make her realize that it was. And Satoshi…he was trying to…love her. Open up to her. And here she was pining after some guy that basically disappeared from the face of the earth while developing feelings for Satoshi at the same time. It wasn't fair. She realized his feelings for her. And yet…
…she simply couldn't bring herself to let Dark go. Even though Satoshi was right. He was here. Dark was not. It was simple common sense.
Furthermore, Satoshi loved her. Needed her. Wanted her. Dark never even gave her the light of day once he was done playing with her. Once he had gotten his fill of her.
After all, the only person Dark had ever loved was Risa's grandmother. And the only reason why he had even bothered with Risa in the first place was because she had reminded him of her grandmother. He never had loved Risa. Or even liked her for that matter. Yet why did she still have feelings for him back then amidst all that? And why was she still so hesitant about Satoshi when clearly he had feelings for her?
Suddenly Satoshi pulled away, as if sensing her thoughts. He turned to her and gave her a sad smile. It was a smile completely opposite than what she had seen in the car today when they had been about to drive home. That one had been so pleasantly happy…while this one…was so empty.
"Goodbye Risa."
Suddenly she was alone with her thoughts as Satoshi shut the front door behind him. Everything was coming at her way too fast. Her feelings were overwhelming her. She was confused, infatuated, angry, and happy all at the same time…and she didn't know what to do.
All she knew was that she wanted to be with Satoshi all the time…and she didn't know why.
