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Chapter 9
I heard the gentle click of the door to my room being closed and slowly opened my eyes. I felt terrible and uncomfortable and extremely sore.
I also missed my baby, I had no idea how long I had been asleep or how long she has been gone from my arms. But I want her back desperately.
I looked over to the door and saw Amelia standing, frozen in place.
"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"
"No its okay, I need to get used to waking up frequently," I tried to grin at her as I readjusted myself but I'm sure it looked more like a grimace. "How long have I been asleep anyways? When are they bringing my baby back?"
"About an hour and a half I think, I'm not sure. I dozed off for a while as well. The nurse said they will be bringing her round soon for you to feed again."
"I want her to stay in here with me; I don't like them taking her away."
"Well I'm sure you can ask them to leave her in here sweetie," she sat on the side of my bed and took me hand.
I looked up at her and realised just how tired she looked. She looked awful which was pretty hard for her to do since she always looked so made up. She had big dark bags under her eyes, her hair was sagging and there was something about her eyes that just didn't look right.
"Listen Sookie..." her voice instantly made me panic, I knew this tone and it always meant that I wasn't going to like what she was about to tell me. "I went outside the room before to have a bit of a walk around and I bumped into someone."
I just stared at her to go on. She took a deep breath before continuing.
"Eric was outside. He wants to see you and the baby."
I felt my mouth drop open in a very un-lady like manor. Eric was here. I'm guessing she took care of it and sent him on his way. How dare he! Who the fuck does he think he is? After all this time he finally decides he wants to see me and the baby!
"I know what you're thinking right now and I let him have it, I told him it was too late and that he has a right nerve coming here now. But I also told him I would ask you first, he wanted to see the baby but I said no. He has gone to lunch with Tray and I said I would ring Tray and let him know what you said about letting him see you and her. It's up to you Sook."
"No."
"No?"
"He can go fuck himself!" Amelia looks shocked; I don't think she has seen me this angry before.
"Who the fuck does he think he is? He has wanted nothing to do with me and MY baby and made it perfectly clear that's how he wanted it to be! I don't want anything to do with him and he is defiantly not going to see her!" I can feel hot tears streaming down my flushed cheeks. I am so angry. I feel hot with rage and feel like I'm seeing red!
"Okay Sookie that is fine, he deserves that completely after what he's done. You're right, he made that decision for himself all those months ago so he has to live with that now," she leans and wipes my tears away.
A sob escapes my throat and her own eyes fill up as well. She shuffles forwards and wraps her arms around me. I let myself really have a good cry, I feel like I deserve it. A cry for not being believed and being judged in such an offending way, a cry for going through the pregnancy without the father (I can't say I was alone since I had more than enough help from Amelia and Tray), a cry for my beautiful, unnamed daughter who has a father who doesn't believe she is his and will have to live with that, a cry for me having to raise a baby on poor wages, a cry for after everything I've been through this is the way my life has turned out.
Not that I regret my baby, she is the best thing to come out of this whole mess. I loved her as soon as I knew she existed and loved her more than I ever thought possible as soon as I laid eyes on her. I just always thought I would be married to the love of my life and we would be sharing this happy time of our lives together. I thought I was owed that. I deserve some happiness and some ease in life.
I'm just going to have to suck it up. We will be more than happy just the two of us. Me and my baby girl.
"Is Tray still going to pick some stuff up from my house? I want to look at baby names again," I manage to choke out between hiccups. Amelia sits up again and wipes the tears from her cheeks.
"Sure Sook, shall I go ring him now?"
"Yes please," I whisper. I wonder if Tray will be mad at me for not giving Eric a chance...fuck no. I don't care if he does. The bastard never gave me a chance so I don't even want to waste my breath worrying about him. Tray knows how much of an ass he has been so I'm not going to worry about him either, if he wants to side with fuck nuts then I will let him do just that!
"So I say no to Eric? Tell him you want nothing to do with him?"
"Tell him that he was nothing but a sperm donor and thank you for giving me the most beautiful baby girl in the world, but that is all he will ever be useful for and now both me and the baby don't want anything to do with him. He is not allowed to see her, he made his choice 6 months ago and now he has to live with it."
"Word for word babes," Amelia smiles and gives me a wink. I know I can count on her to pass along the message exactly, maybe even add a few extras in.
As she is leaving a nurse wheels in a little bed with my baby in. I'm so excited to hold her again. She smiles kindly at me.
"Alright mommy, your baby is hungry," she says as she lifts her up and lays her in my arms.
I feel whole again now she is here. I forget about him and forget about my heartache.
All that matters is the baby in my arms.
