Jason had calmed down considerably after his original angry outburst at Sanders. Instead of chewing him out like I suspected he would, he gave him a slap on the back as is typical of males, collapsed onto the couch, and asked me what was for dinner.

I rolled my eyes. "What do you want?"

"Whatever you make! Just get in the kitchen where you belong, woman!" Jason said. He was in a joking mood. Everyone in the house felt happier.

I fixed them all bowls of Frosted Flakes, including myself. Don't get me wrong, I can cook competently, but I didn't feel like making anything that night.

"You're a fucking gourmet chef, Leah," Jason told me, digging into his bowl. Sanders turned on the TV and we all sat around watching Community and chewing. There was a moment of peace, a moment where this screwed up family of sorts didn't seem so screwed up after all, like they was some sort of sense of order to everything that they did, dysfunctional or no.

"So Leah, how was losing your virginity to Jason?" Sanders said during a commercial.

"It was wonderfully none of your business," I informed him.

Then, somehow, that made Sanders shut up. Either that or the fact that the show had come back on. I finished my cereal and brought it to the sink. Jason followed me.

"Do I have to keep apologizing for him?"

"No, of course not," I said, putting my bowl in the sink and turning to face him, leaning against the counter.

Jason held my chin between his thumb and index finger, giving me an intense stare. He looked like he was about to say something important. My insides flipped over, what was this? Instead he said, "You're hot."

"Really cool Jason," I said, rolling my eyes as we headed back into the living room, Jason laughing behind me.

After a few more Thursday night shows I went upstairs to bed and crawled under the covers. I missed my old bed, which was contorted perfectly to my various sleeping positions. This bed felt stiffer and colder. Still though, I was drowsy enough to begin to nod off, and that's when Jason came into the room and slipped under the covers with me. He was silent as he moved towards me, beginning to gently spoon me and holding me against his chest protectively. I thought about how I'd never been this close with a boy before. Sure, I'd made out with guys in my bed before when my parents weren't home, even gone a little farther than that. But what Jason and I were doing felt so much more intimate, so much more meaningful.

I kept my eyes closed so he'd think I was asleep, but still he began to suck on my earlobe. I shuddered involuntarily when he blew on the saliva he'd left behind.

"I knew you were still awake," he whispered, his hands traveling up my shirt to squeeze my breasts. "You stayed up just so I would give it to you, just like you like it."

"I'm barely awake," I whispered back as he began to kiss my neck.

"Let me wake you up then," Jason offered, climbing on top of me and covering me with deep, meaningful kisses. I began to succumb to his silent, bodily commands, sinking into the mattress and wrapping my arms and legs around him, caging him to me. Luckily he enjoyed this sort of imprisonment and breathed deeply into me, giving me life, but a different life from the one that I had known. "Into your heart I'll beat again," he said in a breath tinted with lust. In my clouded mind I realized that those were song lyrics but I couldn't place the particular song. Mentally I etched a note to figure out what one it was.

Jason deepened our kiss, running his tongue along the inside of my mouth. He pushed me into the mattress so I couldn't squirm away, one hand tracing the outline of my ear, the other adeptly pulling my panties down. Once he'd dramatically thrown them across the room, he took off my shirt and I his. We looked at each other for a long moment. I wanted to live in his deep, brown eyes, which had never looked clearer before tonight. The moonlight cast a gentle shadow of him and he looked almost like an unearthly being, above and beyond all that inhabited this planet.

He found his way inside me, gently grinding his hips into mine, our heartbeats synced, making me think that he actually had given my heart his rhythm. I could feel something growing between the tiny space between us, a passion, a tension. The heat was scalding and yet perfect. He moved in faster and faster increments, the bed shaking beneath us. I moaned with each harder thrust, knowing that everyone else in the house could hear it, but I didn't care. I dug my nails into his back, marking him as my own. In reaction he gritted his teeth a little but kept thrusting into me, strong as ever.

Just before he climaxed, he shoved me down into the bed by my shoulders, getting in a few more desperate thrusts until he came inside me, his face to the ceiling. I wouldn't like it normally, I think, but I loved when he exerted all his control over me, taking over completely, his responsibility for our erotic pleasure.

He touched his forehead to mine in his ecstasy before rolling off me and holding me close to him. Gently running his hands over me, the wave of tired that had only temporarily subsided earlier hit me with full force.

"You exhaust me in every way possible," Jason whispered directly into my ear, nuzzling into my neck.

"Good, maybe it'll keep you off me for five seconds," I said, reaching back to tangle my hands in his hair. God, his hair. I couldn't get enough of that.

"How can I help it?" Jason asked innocently. "All I want to do is rip your clothes off. Is that such a bad thing?"

"Maybe not," I said, turning around and kissing him again. This time they were much slower, as if he was slowly easing me into my dream world.

He pulled me closer to him, my blue eyes separated from his brown ones by mere inches. All I could see were his eyes, alive and moving, his pupils growing larger to take me in. I wanted to stay like this forever, but I could feel that every time I blinked it was for longer and longer, slower and slower.

"Fall asleep babe, I'll be here when you wake up, I'll hold you all night if you want me to," Jason said.

"Do that," I said. Jason folded his arms around me and we laid there facing, sharing our warmth and our hearts.

And as I fell into unconsciousness I thought I heard him murmur something, ever so faintly.

"I love you."