Okay, I'm thinking one more after this and this story will be done. Thanks for reading. And I always appreciate any reviews that come my way.
Usual disclaimer: I don't own G.I. Joe. Please don't sue.
"I have news for you, Princess!" Beach Head hollered, his face a mere inch away from Cricket's. "You are NOT a precious snowflake! You are NOT a unique gumdrop! You are not charming, you are not quirky, you are not adorable!"
"No, Sergeant!"
"You are the most useless sack of pigshit I have ever had the misfortune to come across in all my years in this man's Army! You are a fucking disgrace! This unit is the elite! This unit is the best of the best! And then there's you! One of these things is not like the other! Do you understand me?"
"Yes, Sergeant!"
"And you!" he spat, turning his attention to Footloose, who was in line next to Cricket. "I can't begin to imagine what the hemorrhaging fuck Hawk was thinking letting your hippie motherfucking ass in this place! If I had my way…" Beach Head continued to berate each and every Joe in turn, and Cricket, thankful her turn was over for now, let her thoughts drift. It was Friday. The fact that Duke was finally taking Shana out on their first official date had been overshadowed in her mind by the fact that she, too, was about to go out on a date.
Her first date.
Ever.
With a boy and everything.
She had spent virtually every night that week on the phone, sometimes with her brother Jack, but mostly with Liz, Jack's wife and her maternal figure. They had spent hours discussing what she was going to wear, what she should do in various scenarios, and just generally being very, very excited. Jack, on the other hand, only wanted to know who he was and how likely he was to get fresh. He was very unimpressed with the idea that Cricket didn't actually know Breaker's name, and wouldn't have been allowed to tell Jack what it was if she did know. Luckily, Liz took the phone away from him before he could really get his lecture on, for which Cricket was eternally grateful.
She was jolted from her reverie when a sharp kick to her ass sent her to the ground. "Wake up, Princess!" hollered Beach Head. "I said, MOVE! Hup hup hup hup hup!" He followed close behind her as she scrambled to her feet and rejoined the others, who were already running towards the obstacle course.
Scarlett watched this from the window in Duke's office. She couldn't argue with Beach Head's results, and she knew that the Joes who came out the other side of his brand of PT would be able to handle pretty much anything. It didn't stop her from positively loathing the man, though. "Why do we need two rangers?"
"Hmm?" asked Duke, not looking up from his morning report.
"We've already got Stalker. Why do we need Beach Head?"
"We have room for more than one ranger. Beach is an excellent drill sergeant. We're lucky to have him."
"Remember the first year? When there only used to be a handful of us? I kinda miss that."
Duke finally looked up and smiled at her. "To be honest, I kinda do, too. But Cobra's growing. We have to grow with them. In fact, don't spread this around, but Hawk tells me they've greenlighted a TON of new recruits. You're gonna have your hands full running background checks."
"How many constitutes a ton?"
"I don't have the number in front of me, but at least a dozen. Probably more than that."
"What's the timeframe?"
"September."
Scarlett went wide-eyed. "What? I'm supposed to compile a dozen background checks in a few months? Do you know how long those things take? When were you going to tell me?"
"Hey, I'm not supposed to be telling you now. Hawk's going to want you to work with other people with an Intelligence background to get rolling on this." He tapped tentatively at his keyboard. Scarlett suppressed a smile; Duke was very uncomfortable with computers and always looked somewhat simian when he used one. "Here we go. So, Jaye's primary MOS is in intelligence. She can help. Oh, and it looks like Cricket's secondary MOS is, too."
"Mae? Mae is barely up and running around here, and she has zero background in this kind of thing. And Allie's file may say her primary MOS is intelligence, but you and I both know her practical experience since she got here is in throwing javelins at things."
"Don't shoot the messenger. I'm only telling you what Hawk's going to say. Those are gonna be your resources. Besides, you know Jaye can handle it. She was a counterintelligence expert before she got here, she's done this kind of thing before. Cricket… well, I'm sure you can handle Cricket."
"Humph. Can I tell them?"
"I wasn't even supposed to tell you yet. Do what you need to do, just make sure it doesn't get around."
"I'm grumpy now. You've made me grumpy."
Duke grinned. "What can I do to ungrump you?"
Scarlett smiled back at him. "You can take me out to dinner tonight."
"What a coincidence! As it happens, I am taking you out tonight."
"You can also get me a list of who I need to look into as soon as humanly possible. But, you know, dinner! Yay!"
Later on, Courtney was walking back to her quarters after spending the morning visiting in the motor pool. She hated to admit it, but she really did miss those guys – yes, even Clutch, to some extent – and was anxious for the time when she was going to be able to get back to work. She had been shocked to see how dusty the Wolverine had gotten in her absence, and resolved that the very first thing she was going to do when she started up again next week was to take good and proper care of it.
She noticed a large number of Joes, led by Shipwreck, Alpine and Bazooka, sitting in folding chairs, tailgating, grilling burgers on a portable grill, and just generally looking for all the world like there was something going on that really shouldn't have been. Naturally, this piqued her interest, and she wandered over to the group to find out exactly what was going on.
"Cover Girl!" Shipwreck called out. "C'mere! Pull up a chair! The show's starting!"
"What show? What's going on?"
Torpedo answered with a mouth full of burger, "Ace is taking Cricket on her first Skystriker lesson."
Courtney eagerly found a chair and dragged it up front. The Skystrikers were remarkably easy to fly compared to most fighter jets, and every Joe had to learn how to pilot one. No one did terribly well their first time out, however, and it was usually great fun to watch. Besides, more than anything else, it was a beautiful day, and any excuse to spend time outside was a good one.
And, as always, there was a pool going. This time, everyone was betting on how long the plane would stay in the air. Bets tended to be running rather on the short side; this was, after all, the new kid.
After a while, to much acclaim, the Skystriker could be seen. It handled smoothly and gracefully; clearly Ace was still behind the controls at this point. After a few minutes, it wobbled and flew erratically, meaning that Cricket was obviously now steering her and the timing could begin. Almost before it began, it spun wildly, and the ejector seats were deployed an instant before the jet crashed spectacularly into a mountain. Much cheering ensued.
Rock 'n' Roll collected his winnings, and the tailgating continued for the rest of the afternoon. Joes came and went all day, but mostly stayed; Roadblock and Blowtorch took turns behind the grill, as more and more food came from the kitchens to accommodate everyone. Even Hawk stopped by for a little while, and when Ace and Cricket (barely visible under her enormous flight helmet) finally made their way there after hiking all the way back, Hawk handed them both a burger and said, "Don't let Duke chew you out too much."
"I flew a plane today!" Cricket said cheerfully, munching on her burger.
"Barely. Don't worry," said Ace, "We'll get you there."
"Hey kiddo," said Courtney, carrying a six pack of YoJoe and throwing one to Ace. "You done broke that plane good."
"That was fun! And so was parachuting! The ten mile walk back, not so much. Am I in trouble?"
"I wouldn't worry too much," said Ace. "You crashed a very expensive jet, but it was an older model we use for training and it's not like we don't have a hundred more in the back."
"Yeah," said Courtney. "Duke'll give you a little grief, but nothing serious."
"Let's get it over with now," said Duke from out of nowhere. "Corporal, you crashed a $100 million jet."
Cricket stood ramrod straight, her mouth full. "Yef, fergean'."
"Are you going to do it again?"
She swallowed. "Not intentionally."
"Good enough. I hear you have a big night tonight."
She smiled. "I hear you do too."
"I'm sure you'll compare notes later. This turned into some party," Duke said, changing the subject. "Somewhere Beach Head is having a fit. Where's the music?"
"You think an appearance by the Average Joe Band is in order?" asked Courtney playfully.
Duke stiffened. "The Average Joe Band," he gritted, "is not something of which we speak. God, that was humiliating." He looked at Cricket. "You know, you don't need to be wearing that flight helmet."
Ace sighed. "She won't take it off."
"I flew a plane today!" Cricket repeated, beaming.
Courtney and Mae entered their apartment and saw the message light was flashing on the phone. "Hi girls! It's Liz! Honey, have a great time tonight and be sure to call me when you're home. Courtney, please make sure she showers. Also, don't let her wear a white shirt; she'll spill food on it. Love you! Talk to you soon! Bye!" Beep.
"You heard her, kiddo. Go hose off."
"I showered this morning!"
"I'm pretty sure you didn't, but even so, you had an unscheduled ten mile hike and you smell like butt. Go."
"You smell like butt," Mae muttered under her breath as she stormed off to the bathroom. Courtney could only shake her head. As per usual, the door swung upon without a knock and Allie walked in with Shana following behind her. "Hey, Courtney. Can we borrow some makeup? I'm running low and Shana doesn't have any."
"I don't need makeup," groused Shana. "I never wear it and he's seen me a thousand times without it and –"
"Okay. You asked me to let you know when you were being stupid?"
Big sigh. "I did."
"You're being stupid. Courtney, tell her."
"No one's going to make you look like a clown, Shan," said Courtney. "Just a little bit to bring out your eyes. You'll barely notice it's there. Hey!" she suddenly called out. "I don't hear the water running!" This was followed by the sound of the shower being turned on. "That kid is hopeless. Anyway, Shan, leave it to me. I'm an expert, remember? What are you wearing?"
"Allie's green dress. I wanted to wear my old blue one."
"Your old blue one has to be at least ten years old and is ugly as shit," said Allie, "and, like most of your wardrobe, needs desperately to be burned. The green will look good with your hair and actually has a neckline dating from this millennium."
"The neckline's really low," said Shana doubtfully.
"Good. Give him a look. He's earned it."
Mae, soaking wet and wrapped in an oversized towel, came out to find Courtney carefully applying makeup to Shana. "Oh! Will you do me next?"
"Course I will. Brush your hair first. Did you use the conditioner I left out?"
"Yes."
"Are you lying?"
"… yes."
Courtney smirked. "I'm gonna turn you into a girl if it kills me."
Allie said to Mae, "C'mere. Back to me." Mae sat in front on Allie, who grabbed a brush from the endtable and started combing the tangles out of Mae's hair. "So where's Breaker taking you tonight?"
"I guess we're going someplace called Mad Maggie's and then seeing what's playing at the theater."
"I've been to Maggie's," said Courtney. "Games, pool, pizza. You should have a good time."
"I hope so." She tried not to wince too much as Allie did her best to unsnarl things. "We've been talking a lot this week. I still don't know if I like him that way, but I have fun with him."
"Okay, Shana," Courtney said, "I think we have it. Show the girls."
Shana turned to face Allie and Mae. Courtney had done a spectacular job of highlighting what was already there. "Well?"
"Wow," said Allie. "You look amazing." Mae could only smile and nod happily. Courtney gave Shana a hand mirror out of her bag. "Oh my God," said Shana. "I didn't think that – thank you." She hugged Courtney, then took another look. "Okay. You were right."
"Again?" said Allie.
Shana smiled. "You were right."
An hour later, everyone was in Shana and Allie's apartment, arguing good-naturedly about which shoes Shana should be wearing while they tried to convince her that no, she most definitely should not sport the ponytail that evening.
"It gets in the way of everything!" said Shana, struggling with the dress.
"You're not going into combat, Shana," said Courtney. "You're going out to eat. Leave the hair down."
Almost on cue, there was a knock at the door. "Just a minute!" said Shana. "Shit! I need a minute! Stall!" She pulled Mae, who was still in a towel, into the other room.
Allie opened the door and gasped. There stood Duke, in his best dress greens, hat tucked under his arm. "Good evening, Allie."
"Oh, Duke. You look wonderful." Her voice breaking, Allie fussed with his tie a little. Courtney stood at the far end of the room, her hands over her mouth, trying not to squee, and failing miserably at it.
In the bedroom, Mae was helping Shana get herself together. They had finally adjusted the dress in a way that both were happy with, and Shana was letting Mae fluff her hair a little. "Mae?"
"Yes?"
"I'm going to want to hear all about tonight, okay? Are you nervous?"
"A little. Are you?"
"I don't know. I'm excited. But this feels right. But that's okay. It's your turn now. Thank you for helping me. Promise me you'll have a good time."
"I promise." Mae stepped back. "You look beautiful." She really did.
Shana smiled. She held Mae's head with both hands and kissed her on the forehead, the way her dad had always done with her. Mae hugged Shana tight, then said, "C'mon. Let's go get you sent off."
They walked into the living room. Mae was every bit as stunned by the sight of Duke as the others had been, and said, "Oh my God." Shana appeared to be in imminent danger of bursting into tears. "Oh, Conrad."
Duke couldn't take his eyes off of Shana. "You're absolutely beautiful."
"But… but you hate wearing your greens."
"I wanted to look my best for you."
Shana walked up to him and held a hand to his face. She kissed him softly, then deeply, and it was only the very slight embarrassed cough that Mae gave that made her reluctantly break away.
"All right, you two," barked Allie, "Out with you. Not too late, now. Have a great time."
Duke smirked. "I'll bring her home safe."
"See that you do. Go on, out."
After Duke and Shana left, Courtney broke the silence by saying, "Well, I, for one, am deeply jealous. Who knew he cleaned up that well?"
Allie looked at her sadly. Courtney was being flippant, but… "Remember last Christmas? You had your chance."
"No. I never had a chance with him. From the day he got here he's had his eyes on her. That's okay. They belong together. I'm happy for her."
"Courtney…"
"I am. I promise."
Mae was confused. "What happened last Christmas?"
Sitting down, Courtney admitted, "I kissed Duke. It was friendly. Nothing to it. Certainly not what other people have made it out to be."
"Oh." Mae wasn't sure what to say. "Does Shana know?"
"Yeah. We hashed it out. This was back when she was still mooning over him but hadn't done anything about it. I promised her it was friendly and not to listen to what everyone was saying. I swear, there are a bunch of gossiping old hens around here. It was Christmas, we had just finished fighting Cobra, there was a giant parrot flying around, and I was just feeling really warm towards him because I was glad to see him safe."
Allie leaned over and put her hand over Courtney's. "Shana's very, very lucky. In a lot of ways. You've been a really good friend to her during this whole thing. Not everyone in your position would be."
"What? Allie, seriously, I'm fine. I'm happy for her. They d-deserve each other and she can make him h-h-happy." Courtney was crying now. "That's all I want for him."
"I know, honey." Allie held Courtney as Mae looked on. She'd had no idea. She could only watch helplessly as Courtney sobbed into Allie's shoulder.
"No," Courtney said suddenly. "No. This is a good thing. I love Shana and this is a very, very good thing." She wiped her eyes and turned to Mae. "Not a word to Shana. Promise me."
"I won't say anything."
"Promise me."
"I promise."
"Because all this would do is ruin things for them." She waved her hands at her eyes to dry them out. "Oh, and I was doing so well, too." She sniffed. "C'mon. It's your turn. Let's go get you ready."
