Author's Note: I deliberately played hooky from my stories so that I could read 'A Dance with Dragons' by George R.R. Martin. Now that I'm done…it's back to work, I suppose. Maybe I'll stop at fourteen chapters, maybe I'll do more…but anyways, here's chapter 9!

9

Within what seemed like fractions of a second, I'd gone from feeling safe in my own little world to becoming the center of my guests' attentions. No sooner had Georgina spoken up than Greg and John came over for a closer look, and Matthew remained standing in one place even though I could see him scanning the title of my book over for curiosity's sake. There was no doubt in my mind now that I had answered one of my own questions—I had been by myself for far too long.

"So today we have an artist," Greg observed, smiling down at me.

"Nearly," I mumbled, staring down at my blankets on purpose. "I haven't tried anything new in months."

"Why not…?"

"Because I didn't have the strength or the concentration, that's all. You'd be the same way if you starved yourself, wouldn't you?"

"Of course." He looked away for a moment, almost looking apologetic if my eyes were working correctly. "You'll have plenty of time to get all that back, though, I hope. This room should be restful enough, I don't think—"

"—'Restful'?" I laughed coldly. "These blankets itch and this mattress feels like stone. How is that supposed to be restful?"

"They itch because you kicked your sheet off, silly," Georgina laughed, pointing down at the floor. "Why don't you put that one back on and see what happens?"

I wished that I could have laughed along with her, but I felt myself blushing too hard for that. It wasn't fair to her for me to be so rotten. It wasn't fair to any of them, especially Em, for me to be acting like this. A part of me wanted to hide under those blankets and somehow make myself disappear until I could be sure that I was alone again. There would be no walking out on me, though, not with this 'good Doctor' as this group's obvious leader. Instead, I just stared down at the floor and reached for my fallen sheet, which Georgina handed back to me without hesitation.

"Sorry…"

Having my sheet back made a big difference, because after I put it back in the proper place, I felt a bit more comfortable and barely noticed the itch of the wool blanket at all.

"That's okay. It's going to take a lot of adjusting for you, I'm sure?"

I felt my tongue start to knot up, so I just nodded and mumbled, "Maybe." That seemed good enough for Georgina, because I noticed a bit too well how she smiled and pulled the blankets up closer around me, almost as though she were tucking me in or something. What on earth was with this devotchka? Did she have a thing for sick weirdoes, or what?

"There you go. How does that feel?"

"Better." I thought about trying to go back to sleep, and maybe also sending the others safely back to their homes, but soon I found out that I needed to do something slightly more important first. Roughly speaking, I had some business to take care of.

"Um…I think I have to go."

"Go? What do you mean by—"

I quickly jerked my head towards the restroom's door, and then it was Georgina's turn to blush.

"Oh-h-h…all right then. Er…do you need any help to the door?"

All I had to do was glance over at the three men behind her, and John came right away to help me leave my bed without fainting or falling.

"This won't take us more than a few minutes," he promised Greg and the others, slowly pulling me to my feet. "Don't worry, I haven't forgotten our other plans."

How strange it was that I could not easily do what I must have done a million times over. I was still so very weak that John had to hold me up by one arm just to get me inside. It was nothing short of embarrassing to have to do such things, but I knew it would be all the worse for me if I didn't go about my usual business without any help from my new companions. At least I was rewarded with some privacy once he got me to the door, for he politely waited outside until the time came for me to come out again. I had to admit that I feared I might see blood once I was done, but thankfully that nightmare didn't happen to me in the slightest. In the meantime, though…what did happen was a load of talking between the two of us.

"Still feeling grievous?" John asked me, talking through the cracked door so that no one would eavesdrop on us.

"Grievous about what?" I muttered, holding onto the rim of the toilet just in case.

"You know bloody well what, silly. We both do. How long has it been since you lost them all?"

"Lost…?" Leave it to him to reopen old wounds at a time like this. "Six months, maybe…why do you ask? What's that got to do with you?"

"A lot." I heard him go silent for a moment, then: "It's been almost two years to the day for me. I was the only one who made it to Greg's door, and I lived to tell the tale later on as well."

The only one.

I hadn't expected to hear that sort of thing from John, at least not until I heard him speak Nadsat to me. Now it made a bit more sense…but not without me getting a sinking feeling in my stomach over it. Would he behave like a lewdie from my old shaika, or would he act a lot more savage to me later on just like another of them was famous for…?

"So then…the rest of yours snuffed it?" I heard him let out a low, mirthless laugh.

"Yeah. They did."

Our conversation paused long enough for me to pull the lever; then I used the rim of the toilet to steady myself until I reached the sink.

"How did you get through those two years without losing your head?"

"Rather easily, once I found all sorts of help."

Help. Right. He made it sound so easy, like you could just go outside and pick a psychologist off of the nearest tree, or get in touch with the nearest therapist just by hitting 'Zero' on the cell phone. Would I find the right person for that after a small search online, or if I skimmed through the right sort of phone book? And if not there…then could I count on these newcomers to stand in for that psychologist or therapist instead?

"I think I'm ready to get back into bed," I told him, once I'd finished washing my hands and using a few paper towels to dry them. By then I was feeling a bit more sluggish, and maybe also slightly drowsy as I leaned on John's arm. My bed seemed so far away from where I stood; yet after several little steps and a few deep breaths, I managed to get there without falling.

If I make it out of here, I'm sending them homemade thank-you cards, I promised myself, slipping back beneath the blankets and bundling myself up as much as I could. By then everyone except Em had gathered up their books and coats, a sure sign that the foursome was heading home. Words couldn't describe how much I wished Em and I could have joined them.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I rasped weakly, my head sinking into the pillows behind me.

"Probably the day after," Greg said, pulling a stocking cap onto his head.

"Why…?"

"Work for us, and time alone with your Em for you. No doubt you'll have plenty to talk about, I'm sure?"

I felt a little confused after hearing that, but I blocked it quickly out of my mind. It was just a mere coincidence. After all, it wasn't as though someone could eavesdrop on sign language, now, could they?

"You look after yourself now," Georgina giggled, poking me in the side. "You'll be on the mend when I get back, won't you?"

"I'll do my best," I promised, allowing her to give me one last hug before she followed Greg into the hallway.

"Remember what we talked about," John said in a whisper, glancing between me and Matthew. "I've got a feeling Greg's going to want to help you out any day now. You'll know the right answer to give him when the time comes, I hope?"

"I hope so, too," I answered. Let him think on that whatever he wanted. As for me, I was close to giving up on the idea of four-man groups, or even four men and a woman as long as she was safe around the others. Maybe Matthew was starting to think twice about the idea, too. I saw as much on his face right before he left, and I could have sworn he even snortedat me. How's that for a goodbye?

They seemed nice, Em observed, going about the room and turning the lights off until it was just one corner lamp glowing by my bedside. Do you really think they'll come back…?

I don't want to think much of anything right now, Em, I confessed with a small sigh. I just want to sleep and stay asleep for once.

Then go to sleep, she teased, pulling the covers close around me and then gently stroking my hair. I fell straight into Dreamland before fifteen minutes had passed.