Rob walked up the pathway to Janet's small house, a place that in a short time felt familiar to him. He stood on her porch, full of anticipation and nervous energy. He was looking forward to seeing her again, getting to spend some time with her, so he could know her better. There was so much about her that was a lingering question mark. He wanted to know where she grew up, how she came to live in the ridge, but he also needed to know about her and Eddie. He needed to ask the tough questions. He needed to know before he fell for her, more then he already had. It scared him, what he was feeling. It was so new and so strong, his first instinct was to run from it. But that is what he had been doing for the past year, running. Rob didn't want to live his life that way, he didn't want Annie to learn from his bad example.
It had been a long day for him already, Annie was in a mood and no matter how much he tried to snap her out of it she just wanted to be alone. There was an empty quality to his daughter now, and he knew there was nothing he could do to fill the void that Angela left. No way to make up for a loss so great. She used to laugh, and sing and talk about what she wanted to be and what she wanted to do. Now her time was spent, reading, writing, her Ipod never to far away getting lost in her music. He remembered what Janet said, that it doesn't get an better but it does get easier. It was a mild comfort, he just had to wait it out and hoped the easier would find its way.
He knocked at Janet's door tentatively, trying to decide if he should has the Eddie question right away or wait. It was something he dreaded asking , but knew he had to, ultimately deciding to get it out of the way. Not wanting it to mar the night, with his anticipation.
"Hey you." Janet answered the door with a broad smile on her face. He looked her up and down quickly, she looked perfect. Casual in jeans and a tee shirt, she wasn't trying to impress him. She was just being herself and he smiled that he could be himself too. Janet was excited to see him, she had looked forward to him all day. Despite her lack of sleep from the night before Janet was wide awake. She finally felt a bit of closure between her and Eddie, and with that a weight was lifted. A weight that had pressed her down for the last year, in everything she said or did. She said what she needed to say, she was clear with him. She was done waiting on him, she was moving on. Janet chose to ignore that fact that he wanted her back. Choosing to focus on her decisions not his.
"Well you are a sight for sore eyes Janet." They embraced and kissed, Janet was happy to still feel that feeling, that buzz, that hum when Rob was near her.
"Are you ready to go, I am starving?" She asked him grabbing her bag.
"Uh, actually. Could we talk for a minute?" His tone was pensive and Janet's stomach dropped and her feeling of hunger disappeared
"Rob... uh... ok." She lead him to the small round table in her living room. The sat opposite each other, no words passing between them. "Rob you are kinda freaking me out, are we breaking up?" Janet was shocked by the sadness she felt just saying those words, to feel so much so soon. Rob looked up in to her blue eyes and he could see her sadness as she spoke, he wanted so quickly to make that look go away.
"No! Janet no, its just… Last night I think I put a few puzzle pieces together about you... You mentioned an ex that knew Angela... is it Eddie?" Janet inhaled sharply, his name the last word she wanted to hear from Rob's lips. For a second, she wanted to deny it. To not have to deal with it and explain to Rob her past.
"Yes, Eddie and I dated." She finally said breathlessly, waiting to the inevitable questions that would follow.
"I take it didn't go well?" Rob asked her sheepishly, not sure how much he really wanted to know. He was relieved and slightly annoyed that his suspicions were correct. Janet dated Eddie Latekka.
"No, it ended badly, we both made a bunch of mistakes and feelings were… hurt. We were friends for years before so it made it so much harder, and all of our friends are friends." Janet knew she was rambling but couldn't stop herself. "So we have had a hard time adjusting to the fact we didn't work, despite the fact that we both wanted it to. But its getting better I think, we can stand to be in the same room and talk. It took a year before that could even happen." Rob relaxed hearing that they had been over for a year.
"Oh, so you have been broken up for a while then?"
"Yeah, we dated for like seven months and its been over for a year."
"Good, I was worried..." Rob admitted.
"Worried?" Janet was surprise that someone as together as Rob would be worried that a girl like her might not be interested in a guy like him.
"You two had this strange energy yesterday... Janet I like you... A lot... more then I should for the short time we have known each other, so I was worried that you and Eddie were still a lingering thing or whatever."
"Eddie and I will always have a... I don't even know what to call it... he was my first real relationship, my first real love so I guess it will always hurt when I think about him, but as far as a relationship. No, that part of my life is over..." Janet was trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to convince Rob.
"Eddie was your first relationship?" Rob started putting together the pieces, Janet was in her late twenties, she and Eddie only dated for months not years.
"Uh... yeah..." Blood rose in Janet's cheeks, embarrassment coursing through her body. Her inexperience was always going to come back and haunt her, she thought bitterly.
"Why, I mean...how..." Rob could not hide the surprise in his eyes. Why was a question that Janet had spent a year trying to figure out, She thought about her life over and over trying to figure out where it all went wrong. She thought so hard and for so long that her brain would hurt and slowly she started to put it all together. She inhaled softly, decided if she was going to tell Rob, did she trust him enough but then she realized that he may be the only person who would ever really understand because he had lived through it too.
"When my parents died, I kinda shut down, I was fifteen and my whole life just imploded. I was angry and sad and lost. So I built these huge insurmountable walls around myself, holding up in my own space. Not letting anyone or anything in. Keeping out the bad but the good too. And for a while it worked, I watched all my friends get their hearts broken… time and time again and I thought I was superior somehow, that I knew something they didn't. But I was wrong, so very wrong but I was also stubborn. I watched them find love, get married have babies and I realized I wanted the same thing but so many years had passed and it felt too late somehow and then when I had resided myself to what was…Eddie came along… Eddie kinda turned everything on its head. despite all my best efforts, my walls were busted and I got my heart shattered and so did he… but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Cause for the first time in my life I knew what living was really about. You know, its about the people you love, the people that love you, and even the loss. The bitter and the sweet." Rob looked at her knowingly, he knew exactly what she meant, he had out up wall of his own and he saw Annie doing the same thing. Janet reached out, taking his hand in hers before she spoke again "I like you too Rob, more then I should considering the short time I have known you..." They laughed as she repeated his exact sentence. "Let's just enjoy this Ok."
"Janet, I know this is going to sound crazy but I feel like I was suppose to meet you."
"I feel it too, so no it does not sound crazy at all." Rob leaned into her, wrapping his arms around her waist pulling her body to his. He smiled softly, whispering her name before his lips touched hers. Their kiss was filled with the promise of something new, something hopeful. Such a stark contrast to the kiss Janet had shared with Eddie on his porch the night before. Janet gave herself over to the possibility of a future with Rob as her heart finally let Eddie go.
"Still hungry?" Rob asked with a grin on his face, Janet nodded. He rose from the sofa a pulled her up. "Well lets go then, what are you in the mood for?" Janet scrunched up her face in thought.
"Do you like Chinese? There is a place off Jefferson."
"Chinese sounds good to me."
