Back to old habits.

One day, about a month after Spike had gone, he came back to town and asked if we could meet up.

We did, I met him at the nearest Starbucks, I dind;t know what was bothering him that he couldn't say it on the phone, but I was eager to find out.

"Hey." I said when he arrived.

"Waiting long?"

"No, only an hour."

"Really?" I laughed.

"Nah, it's cool." He laughed too, I loved the little lines he got near his mouth when he did.

He ordered a drink and we sat in silence for a few minutes.

"I love you Buffy. And, being away from you for so long, has made me realise I can't be without you."

He blurted out. I chocked on my drink.

"Spike, I've just gotten things back together with my dad."

"I know, and I hate to do this, but I just need to get it off my chest."

"I know, and you know I feel the same way."

"I don't get it Buffy, we're both adults and yet it's wrong for us to be together, why? Why the hell can't we."

He raised a good point. It was true; we were bother adults, so why couldn't we be together?

"We can, but not so my dad knows."

"Behind his back?"

I nodded and cried at that point.

I didn't know why the tears were running down my cheeks, they just were.

So, after that we tried it out behind everyone's back. We sneaked around like before. The funny thing about it is, dad knew Spike was back in town, but he didn't really notice me not around as much. I guess that's because he had Willow there. I didn't know why, but those two had become really good friends. I guess daddy needed it, after mom.

When mom was around, dad used to have his little flings with women. I knew he did, and so did mom, but none of us wanted to say anything. We didn't want it to be true I guess.

I thought once, that maybe he was with Willow, but that was stupid.

Wasn't it?

Well I was wrong. One day when I came home,

I found them. It broke my heart, I didn't know why thought, perhaps because she was my friend.

And not his own age. It sounds selfish thinking about it now, because I was with Spike.

He was Dad's friend, and not my own age.

I should've tried to be happy for them,

then maybe what happened wouldn't have.