AN. Hi all! Thank you so very much for your patience and reviews. For reading, subscribing and adding to favs.
This update has taken me quite a while to write, not because I didn't know what I wanted to write, but because a certain wonderful someone has distracted me completely from writing, but who also gave me the name of the chapter. Thank you baby.
Alright, so as I've said earlier and as you probably have noticed, I do change things in my story so it doesn't always follow the game and how things play out in it. I mean, we've all already played it, I see no point in repeating it all in here. ;)
Oh, right, small tiny warning. Without saying too much there's a little bit of sauciness in this chapter.
Hope you like the update! Please Comment and review it is muchly appreciated!
Till next time.
~Elmjuniper
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Sometimes it felt as if Rue knew the battle raging on inside of me. I was well aware of the rules. Our missions before our feelings, but my feelings were so strong. Too strong. It was the way she looked at me without saying anything, yet her green eyes spoke more words than had ever been spoken to me. To this day I will always regret not asking her how she did that, not telling her that the first time she did it was the moment I fell in love with her.
SELF DECEPTION
LUST. MIRANDA LAWSON HAD FELT lust many times in her life, but the passion she felt rushing through her body where she lay on her back was unlike anything she had experienced before. Her body was on fire, Rue's lips locked with hers in a heated kiss, her arms pinned down above her head by the commander's strong but gentle hands. Breathing heavily, arching her body into Rue Miranda felt her need grow stronger as Rue let her hand slip between her thighs spreading them apart, granting her access. Her mind reeled as she felt herself being stroked into near madness and then Rue's fingers moved further down towards her heated core, slowly, slowly...
Miranda's eyes flew open as she awoke from her dream, her body sweating, her heart beating insanely fast. Oh my god... She tried breathing normal as she sat up and leaned her forehead into her hands.
"Oh. My. God!" She exclaimed, half smiling at her dream before she threw off her covers silently slipping out of bed her legs feeling slightly shaky.
"I need some damn chocolate." She muttered as she pulled on a pair of loose fitting cotton trousers. She frowned as she pulled her hair into a sloppy ponytail. If she was having dreams, and oh what pleasant dreams, about hot steaming fornication then she was in desperate need of some chocolate.
"You're making me fat, getting me addicted to sugar and you don't even know about it." She chided the commander as she turned the corner from her office walking into the kitchen.
"Of course." She said loudly as Rue popped her head up from behind the refrigerator's door.
"Well, well Lawson, what brings you out at this hour?" Rue said standing up, holding the milk cart in her hand.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Her heart was racing fast, the dream still burning in her mind. Could Rue tell?
"Actually...there's a lot of things I would like to...know." The commander said edging closer to her.
"Know or do?" Miranda challenged Rue who quirked her eyebrow smiling seductively putting the milk cart aside.
"You want me." Shepard said smiling in realization and surprise.
"What? No! That is completely inappropriate!" She spluttered.
"Not if it's true." The commander stated matter-of-factly.
"Well it's not." Miranda denied apprehensively.
"Then prove it. Kiss me."
"No! You're crazy!"
"Kiss me."
"I'm not going to..." Was all she had time to say before Shepard had grabbed her hips pulling her closer, her lips caressing Miranda's in a soft kiss. Shepard won, and Miranda let the commander deepen the kiss as she wrapped her arms around Rue's neck. Rue pushed her up against the kitchen sink her hands trailing Miranda's body on top of the thin fabric. She moaned quietly as Rue's hand slipped in underneath her top closing around her breast.
"Tell me you don't want me." Rue muttered as she lowered her mouth to where her hand was.
"I do." Miranda sighed in defeat anticipating what would come next.
Her eyes fluttered awake once again, leaving her breathless from her dream.
"AAARGH!" She threw her pillow across the room in frustration and it hit the computer screen which toppled over and fell to the floor with a loud crash. What was with her dreams lately? She groaned displeased rolling over hiding under her cover before remembering sleeping was what had gotten her this...annoyed to begin with.
It seemed that the more she tried to deny all these unfamiliar feelings she had for Rue, the more persistent they became. This desire she felt burning within her, not only to feel the commander's body next to hers, but to feel her...love?
She twisted a long strand of dark hair between her fingers, chewing her lip. Love? Is this...it couldn't be. How could it be, she hardly knew the commander. Now that's just an out right lie. You know everything about her. The small voice in her head whispered. She let her hair fall across her knees as she leant her forehead onto the top of her knees that she had pulled up towards her chest. Yes, she knew everything about Rue, physical facts, but not even through the Asari's memories of the commander had she been able to fathom how charismatic and charming Shepard had been. Not until now, and she found she couldn't resist these feelings she had whenever she was near the commander. The commander's touch from last night still burned on her hip. The rush of desire still rippling through her body. Shaking her head she growled in frustration.
"NO more dreams." She ordered her brain before getting up heading towards the shower. She had work to do, and her screen was now broken so she might as well just get up and sort it all out.
~•~
The Asari paced her office as she watched the latest feed her Intel had sent her from the Cerberus ship Rue was commanding. She balled her hands into two fists. She knew the Normandy was fighting the Collectors, which had made her thought Rue hadn't contacted her because she was busy with saving the galaxy. That was until she watched the monitoring footage of the ship her Intel had slipped to her.
She stared at the frozen screen behind her large desk. Rue was leaning into the Cerberus woman, the informant who had been her contact when she and Feron stole Rue's body from the Shadow broker. Rue had her hand on the raven haired beauty's hip and she wore that look on her face she used to wear before walking up to Liara kissing her, grabbing her behind, giving it a seductive squeeze. This was not saving the galaxy! This was…this was… She sighed hiding her face in her hands. This was all her fault, she couldn't blame Rue, but glaring at the Cerberus informant in her low cut jump-suit she wondered if it was she who had told Rue about her deception. That it was she, Liara, who had handed Shepard's body over to this pro-human organisation. Someone must have told Rue. Why else would she not have contacted her.
She closed her eyes, steadying her breath. She thought Rue had meant what she said after nearly getting herself killed during the battle at Citadel. She would have thought that even if their bond had been severed that day when the Normandy got blown up, Rue would have at least been told by Cerberus that Liara was still alive and come for her.
Watching the next clip she felt a slight ache in her chest. It was obvious why Rue had not contacted her. Even from where she stood she could see the sparks flying between the two of them, one could cut with a knife in the intense chemistry between them. It was evident by the way they moved, how they subconsciously moved their bodies in unison, and followed each other with watchful eyes. She frowned. She was of Asari race she was bound to experience the loss of the lover she chose to bond with. She had once told Rue that Asari had learnt to accept this and did not fret about eventually losing their lover, but cherished the many memories they would have from their partner. But she hadn't expected to lose her so soon. Not like this.
Turning her back towards the screen she switched it off tossing the remote on to a nearby armchair as she walked out her office. She needed to think, needed to focus on something else.
Nyxeris had put all her energy into helping her find clues as to whether Feron was still alive and where he could be and had left a dossier on her desk earlier that morning. She should see if the information on it was any useful. As she moved through the crowded streets of Illium, the sun caressing her face gently, she hardened her stare. All these emotions would get her nowhere. Sheer determination and will had helped her retrieve Rue's body, only this would help her find Feron.
She had learned to live without Rue, accepted her death, and the revenge she sought on the Shadow Broker could not be achieved by the young, naïve girl she once was. She straightened herself up, her steps falling more determined on the blank surface of Illium's streets.
~•~
The morning had been tiring if not a little crazy. One of the weapons upgrades had turned out to be faulty weakening the bearers shield instead of enhancing its strength. Jacob had been quick to discover the malfunction which could have cost them their lives if not discovered, but that also meant a slight delay in their already slim schedule to get everything ready for the final mission. The suicide mission, as she liked to refer to it as. Jacob had still avoided her attempts to have a decent conversation by stiffly replying that he wasn't a man of many words. It seemed the former Alliance soldier had become more reserved after Jack's little revelation of Miranda staying in Rue's room. She pondered the possibility that the soldier still held some kind of feelings for the informant. Either way she found the prospect of her explaining what Miranda was doing in her room slightly unnecessary, thinking it might undermine her authority if she seemed too eager to explain herself. She needed the crew's approval, but she needn't seem desperate, that would only gain her pity and nothing else.
On the bridge Joker and EDI had discovered the upgrades they got for the Normandy the other day might not suffice to withstand whatever waited behind the Omega-4 Relay and the rest of the crew darted back and forth between stations working like little ants. Rue had to settle an argument between Jack and Mordin and Garrus was having a slight set back in the Main Battery Room, nothing he couldn't handle, but a setback nonetheless. She smiled a little at the thought of Garrus' awestruck impression the first time he had seen the Normandy. He was right though that day. When the galaxy's different races worked together they really could accomplish great things. Looking around at her crew that awe inspired feeling was missing. It was perhaps time for a meeting with the whole crew boosting their confidence, giving them a little energy to keep working, reminding them what they all could accomplish.
She looked over at the informant who was discussing something with the navigator looking solemn and serious. Looking up from their conversation her eyes locked with Rue's for the briefest of moments before she turned her attention back to her conversation. Miranda had acted strangely earlier and then Rue had asked her why she'd gotten up so early, couldn't she sleep?
"I didn't dream anything." The informant answered shortly.
"Well, you know what they say, we only dream about things we've been experiencing or thinking about during the day. You should think about something before you go to sleep. That should help you dream." Rue had merely suggested,
"Shepard, just…be shush!" She had gesticulated wildly with her arms before storming off leaving a much confused commander to wonder what ever was wrong with this day.
Watching her omni-tool she shook her head. She had to call a meeting and then they would dock on a nearby fuel station before trying to find the Justicar. They had almost caught up with her on the Citadel, but she had slipped right through their fingers. The Justicar had flown from space station to space station and Rue found herself wondering what it was the Justicar was looking for. Evidently it was something important enough to chase half across the galaxy. She frowned. A Justicar. She knew very little of the Justicars. They were of Asari race and highly revered in Asari culture. From what little she had read they served as the righteous hand of the galaxy, righting what wrongs have been done. Apparently that sometimes, if not often meant standing above human or species created laws. Moving across the bridge her eyes caught the yeoman's and she nodded a greeting before moving on. Today was not the day for idle dalliances, there was to much work to be done.
~•~
Miranda gazed out across the wide open space small rocks orbiting through it, space ships whizzing past the fuel station soundlessly, some stopping to dock others merely bothering to slow down as the docking ships pulled up near the station. Niket had finally replied to her e-mail and her contact on Illium had returned her latest call just before Rue had ordered them to join her in the com room for an important meeting, and Cerberus had arranged for Oriana's flight to a new settlement. Embracing her self, she went through the plan in her head once more, staring absentmindedly out through the station's large panorama windows. It would all work out perfectly, and if they were quick enough her father wouldn't know Oriana had been moved before it was too late.
She threw a quick glance across her shoulder. The only thing left to do was to talk to the commander about it. She cringed slightly at the thought. She hadn't wanted to involve anyone else, least of all someone from the crew, and especially not Shepard. When Niket had suggested she ask the captain if they could make a quick stop at Illium she had resisted the idea first thinking she could come up with a good excuse to go there on her own, deal with the issue and then return to the Normandy. It was perhaps her stubbornness, perhaps her pride that resisted the idea of it even though she knew that just the thought of her walking up to Shepard saying she'd have to go away for a day or two was not only silly, but also ridiculously irresponsible. Even if she did come up with a good excuse she was Shepard's second in command and her taking a leave wouldn't look good. However telling Rue also meant revealing something of herself. How she fled from her father, why she had fled and why she had brought Oriana with her. One thing would lead to another. Rue would find out everything. It was even more daunting to tell Rue than having her read her journal.
She mulled over the possibility that she could just tell Shepard what she needed to know in order to help her settle this issue, but knowing the charismatic commander that would probably not be enough. Rue had this way of making people around her trust her with their problems and even their lives. Miranda sighed. She would have to include Rue whether she liked the idea or not.
~•~
Her office was the fancy one in the crew quarters, the one that had a spectacular view of the vast space. Being the Illusive Man's favourite must have its perks he thought to himself where he walked down the narrow corridors towards the elevator. Then again, sleeping with the Illusive Man was bound to get you special perks. He snorted. He had worked for the Illusive Man five more years than the director had. There could only be one reason as to why the Illusive Man had named her the director of the Lazarus Project. Miranda. He shook his head, twirling the plastic card between his fingers as he moved swiftly towards his destination. She wasn't all that, she wasn't even talented. She was made that way. Nothing about her was real. Anyone as cold as her couldn't possibly be, even Wilson had said the before the attack back on the station had killed him.
Stepping out from the elevator he glanced to his sides making sure no one could see him where he walked. It was late, and he didn't have much time to enter the director's office before she and their commander would return. Commander Shepard. Now that was a woman one should respect. He was in awe of her. She had saved humanity from that crazy alien Saren and his Reaper army. He wouldn't ever dare to question Commander Shepard to her face, but keeping aliens onboard? The turian and that mongrel Grunt unnerved him and he couldn't understand why the commander possibly couldn't do without those aliens. He knew Wilson would have felt the same way, but looking around him nowadays he only saw fools who didn't mind working along side the aliens. The Illusive Man's orders were clear though. Get the director's DNA. He frowned. It was an odd request. What could the Illusive Man want with that woman's DNA?
He pulled to a stop in front of her doors. Whatever the reason he didn't mind helping the Illusive Man in this matter. He placed the plastic card against the little metallic box next to the doors that slid open. Stepping into the office he let his eyes sweep across the room falling to rest on the bathroom door. He moved quickly across the room slipping in to the bathroom. It was big, much bigger than the one he and the others had to share and he found himself disliking the director even more. This office could have been his. Should have been his.
Walking up to the basin he grabbed the comb lying on top of it. He sneered. Miranda would hate the fact that the Illusive Man had asked for her DNA, and actually had someone sneak in behind her back and get it. This made him more than sure of that the director knew nothing of this and whatever it was she wouldn't like it one bit. He laughed to himself. And that was just why he liked it, and he wished dearly that the Illusive Man would use it for something good.
~•~
Miranda stood by the waiting area as always keeping her distance from the rest of the squad.
"What do you make of her?" Garrus asked as he studied the informant with scepticism.
Rue looked up from her omni-tool studying the informant. These past few days something had changed. She seemed nervous. Something was up, something had unsettled Miranda. Rue squinted. But besides that, Miranda's behaviour had changed around her. She no longer walked away or gave Rue that cold stare when she tried venturing outside the rules Miranda had set up the week before. Sometimes she even seemed at ease with Rue. She grinned. Miranda was playing along with her innocent attempts to flirt with her, and at times it puzzled the commander. It enticed her.
"I think she's very focused on her job. I guess."
Garrus chortled causing Rue to snort. "What?"
"Joker's right." He said shaking his head with a grin on his face.
"Joker's right about what?" Rue folded her arms across her chest glaring at the turian.
"Where are your weapons?" He narrowed his eyes at the absence of the captain's weapons.
"I figured I wouldn't need them right now. Why?"
"I just want to be sure I won't be getting a bullet in my head." He grinned at her,
"And why would you do that?" She asked.
"Because Skipper." He secured his gun at his waist. "Do you remember when you and Liara had that thing going last time we risked our lives to save the galaxy?"
Rue quirked her eyebrow folding her arms across her chest leaning backwards slightly as she studied the turian. "What about it?"
Garrus raised his head scrutinizing the informant with his meticulous eyes. "Can't say I trust her, but it's your call Skipper. You've always made reasonable decisions before."
"My call to what exactly?"
He grinned widely. "I think you already know what I'm talking about." And with that he turned his back on her walking away motioning for the fuel's station personnel to speed things up.
Rue followed him with her eyes. Letting his words sink in as they returned to the informant where she stood. She did like Miranda. The informant made her bang her head on her desk in frustration sometimes, one minute she was the cold, stoned-faced ice queen, the next she was like one of the colonist girls they had met on Feros. Rue hated how she was all business-like and determined even when discussing what was on the lunch menu, and at the same time that made her smile. So focused and concentrated, a tiny wrinkle forming between her eyebrows. And when the informant was in a good mood she would banter sweetly with Rue until she remembered the rules she had set, then she returned to ignoring her, but Rue could still sometimes feel her gaze burn at her from afar. It was infuriating how Miranda sometimes still saw Rue as her subject she was to study, but then Rue could see the concern grow behind those blue eyes the closer they got to flying off into the Omega-4 Relay. Miranda made her feel things she hadn't felt in a while. Looking at the informant she scratched her neck. Regardless of how Miranda made her feel, this wasn't quite the right time for something like this. Besides…Miranda was just playing with her. All this small banter and sweet flirting didn't actually mean anything. Or did it? Sometimes she wasn't quite sure what the answer to that question was. She shrugged where she stood turning to leave for the rest of the squad when she saw the informant turn around and walk towards her. Oh boy…now what?
"Commander." Miranda's voice sounded nervous yet a little softer than usual.
"Yes Lawson?"
"I…I'm afraid I'll have to ask you for a favour…" Miranda squirmed as Rue tilted her head. The informant had been unsettled by something, the biggest hint the fact that she was asking Rue for a favour. Miranda didn't ask for favours for she didn't need them. She either handled it herself or delegated the task to someone competent enough to handle it.
"What is it?" She asked softly.
"I wouldn't ask you if I really didn't have to…but I need your help with moving my sister." The informant said her arms crossed defensively across her chest. Rue suspected the arms also worked as a support, making Miranda feel less vulnerable.
"Sister? I didn't know you had a sister. Why does she have to be moved?"
Miranda sighed. "Have I told you about my father?"
"Other than he was a bit of an absentee and controlling one, no." Rue said letting her arms fall to her side.
"Well." Miranda walked past her walking them further away from the crew. "Like I told you, he was a rich and influential man who created me."
Rue walked up behind her stopping an arm's length away. "He created you?"
"My father used a modified copy of his own genome. With it he…engineered me genetically."
"So…" Rue said slowly refusing to admit she understood less than half of what the informant had just said.
"He created me to be a perfect specimen of a human being. He bought me the best genes, best education…that is why I can do all of this." She said her hand suddenly glowing with her biotics.
"I would have said that that can't have been too bad, but I know from what you've told me that…you didn't really see eye to eye with your father."
"I thought I was the only one." She said quietly. "But…I wasn't…I wasn't even the first. There had been others before me."
"That's why you left?"
"I knew what he was going to do to me…he created my sister, Oriana, when he created me. I had to leave, and I couldn't leave her behind." The informant lowered her head. "Cerberus has helped me stay off his radar. He stopped searching for me a long time ago, but Oriana…he's never stopped looking for her and…" She fell silent before her voice grew angry. "He has found her, and I need to stop him. Cerberus has arranged for her to be moved, but I don't trust that everything will go smoothly…I want to be there myself to make sure everything goes as planned."
"Ok. When do we leave?" Rue said in a determined voice.
Turning towards her Miranda's eyes searched hers. "Thank you Shepard."
Rue found herself smiling, placing her hand on Miranda's shoulder resisting the urge to pull her into an embrace. "It'll be fine. We'll get her out."
~•~
Turning the corner without paying attention Liara found herself crashing into the tall man standing in front of her. He wore a grey handsome suit, the sun bouncing off the cufflinks graciously.
"I'm so sorry." She apologised to him.
"Oh, please Miss." He laughed unarming pulling his hand through his way hair.
"I wasn't paying attention I should have…" She laughed straightening her clothes.
"I was practically stepping right in to your path. It was my fault." He smiled before holding out his hand. "I'm Larkin."
She stared at it before gently grabbing it in a greeting. "Dr Liara T'Soni."
"Dr T'Soni?" He said looking a little shocked.
"Yes, have we…met?" She asked feeling an uneasy feeling creep up on her.
"No, but I have been looking for you." He said.
It was the last thing she remembered before someone shot her with the tranquilizer and her vision became blurry before she fell into the bottomless darkness.
TO BE CONTINUED…
