Virus Among Us
Cinching Obliqueness

A soft smile appeared within the dreams created by the deep sleep, reminding the black paladin of a time when a certain someone always smiled, their eyes filled with adoration and absolute admiration. The adoration and absolute admiration remained, but over time the person smiled less and less, time and life proving rather cruel. Now, along with that adoration and absolute admiration came a deluge of worry, the absolute admiration possibly no longer retaining the absolute nature.

Here though, the person smiled up at him, their real self shining through, something Shiro wished to see once again in the now. Still, the soft laughter floating through his sleep relaxed him, the nature of the dreams a far cry from the vicious nightmares which normally plagued his sleep, yet regardless, both ended up unremembered in the morning. For some reason the black paladin wished to remain there, in the calm dream, not having to wake up, but something at the back of his mind told him the need to wake up existed.

A breeze blew through the meadow, the grass kicking up around Shiro's legs, his young self-enjoying whatever game he and his younger brother played. Everything felt so real, as if happening then and now. Keith, or Akira as his younger brother was known back then, was happy, and safe. In some ways this dream helped him to keep going whenever he dreamed this dream back as a prisoner, as he remembered his younger brother was safe back on Earth. The dream however shifted to sleeping in his grandfather's house.

A fever raged his small body, but he could hear yet again the words tenshi himi associated with his mother, but instead of the dream flickering to the fire, he found himself in the prison cell, hearing the word mongrol. Shiro found himself jolting awake, a presence in his room making him look around, his entire chest feeling with panic. The dream hit him in the same manner, and yet he struggled to remember the details. He sat up, his eyes drifting over to see the blue paladin, one hand reaching up to scratch lightly at his skin, before stopping, remembering the conversation between him and the blue paladin later on. The young teen sat there, his mouth pressed into a frown, his arms crossed, almost as if waiting for Shiro to wake up.

A groan escaped Shiro's, his eyes snapping closed. "Lance…"

"Yeah…"

"I know that…" Shiro took a deep breath, his hands clutching the sheets so his knuckles turned white. The older paladin found himself unable to look Lance in the eye, the sickening feeling that the blue paladin was right, that he had purposefully hurt Keith in the past. The very thought sickened him, and the color drained from his face, a panic attack setting in. The one thing keeping him going as a prisoner of the Galra was knowing Keith was safe, but now that was taken away.

"Shiro…" Lance's voice strained as the black paladin's entire body trembled, in part due to the fever wracking his body.

The young man began to mutter under his breath, his eyes dilating. "I know you hate me Lance, because of that. I can't remember, yet hate myself for…"

A pillow hit him on the top of his head lightly, drawing Shiro back to reality thankfully rather than causing an episode. His dark eyes drifted over to Lance, who know stood, his lip trembling. "I'm sorry."

"For hitting me with the pillow?" The black paladin's dark eyes blinked a couple of times. A sigh escaped his lips, his hand reaching up to rub the back of his head as Shiro's lips pushed together, his eyes narrowing. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this. Better maybe you than Keith."

"Quiznack Shiro. I'm not sorry for hitting you with the pillow. Well, I am. That was pretty stupid." Lance put the pillow back on the bed behind the black paladin, before leaning up against the wall, his arms crossed. Shiro stared, his mind a vague fog, trying to think about what the blue paladin hinted at, his mind buzzing from the frustration at his own self. Lance looked him in the eye, something Keith struggled to do. "I'm sorry I misunderstood what Keith told me, and I'm sorry I falsely accused you of abusing him, particularly when I know that's out of character for you."

Relief washed over Shiro, a sob choking at his throat. The black paladin flopped back, covering his eyes with his arm, a few sobs escaping his chest as the hot tears poured out. The emotional breakdown didn't last long, but the emotional relief made his entire body relax, and his mind stopped going off into the dark thoughts.

"Shiro…"

The sound of concern in Lance's voice broke the black paladin out of his dark thoughts, allowing him to push himself up and look the teen in the eye, a smile spreading across his face. "I'm okay Lance. Really. I mean, besides the fact I caught this bug. Can you…" The smile faded from his face, remembering how Keith threw up all over him, not to mention seemed not doing as well in comparison. "Can you tell me how Akira's doing?"

Lance's eyes widened, his eyes flickering with confusion. "Akira who?"

"Quiznack…" Shiro's eyes darted to the ground, his hands clutching the edge of the bed. "Sorry. Don't ever refer to Keith as that. I shouldn't of. Haven't since…" The black paladin's eyes closed. "Since Keith entered the academy."

The blue paladin remained silent, staring at his idol. After a few minutes he spoke up, his voice strained. "I know you say you're okay, but you're not. I mean, you cried in front of me."

Shiro's eyes snapped open, his mouth opening slightly in surprise. "Oh. Well, I was rather relieved. I'd thought I'd done something to Keith in the past. I'd never be able to forgive myself, honestly."

Lance continued to stare, observing him carefully, his mouth twisting into a frown. "Yeah. About that. That's what I mean by you not being okay. What else are you beating yourself up over?"

The words sunk in deep, making a frown spread across Shiro's face. "How's Keith doing?"

The blue paladin stared, his arms folded across his chest, his lips pushing together as he thought over the black paladin's reaction. "I saw how you reacted."

"When I woke up?" Shiro drew his breath in, not liking where Lance proceeded to take the conversation. Avoiding the questions, however, would lead to more problems.

"Um, no, although that's also a bit concerning. I'm talking about the way you reacted when you told me you've not called him Akira since he entered the garrison." Lance continued to look him in the eye, so the blue paladin very likely saw Shiro draw in his breath, his eyes darting to the ground.

"I didn't realize I reacted."

"You don't like calling him Keith, do you?"

"It's complicated Lance." Shiro's eyes darted to the ground. "It's about what Keith wants, not what I want."

A snorting sound escaped from Lance's nostrils. "Quiznack. He dotes on you a hundred times more than I ever did Shiro. If he knew it upsets you…"

"It's not that Lance!" The black paladin flinched when he finished speaking, realizing suddenly the rise in volume level for his voice. He cleared his throat. "Sorry. As I said Lance, it's complicated. In case you haven't noticed, neither one of us go by the names our parents gave us."

"You've not called him Akira since he entered the academy."

"No." Shiro let out a sigh. "It's my fault you misunderstand. I only call him that when it is just the two of us, and we're having a serious conversation. I'm not bothered by that. I mean, we called each other Keith and Shiro for a very long time."

The blue paladin frowned, shaking his head. "No. I saw that hurt look on your face Shiro. It does bother you. Plus, I prefer the name Akira."

Shiro let out a deep sigh. "Keith doesn't. I guess what hurts me isn't the fact I don't call him anything but Keith anymore, but more of with the fact I know why Keith doesn't want anyone to know what his real name is. There's a lot of hurt there. As I said. Complicated."

Lance's mouth twisted, his eyes darting around the room before speaking. "Okay. No calling him Akira, even though it's a whole lot cooler name." A silence fell between the two, as the blue paladin continued to look at the black paladin. "So…"

Where the conversation needed to go now, neither knew. Shiro, however, knew one thing remained at the back of his head. "How's Keith? You avoided telling me."

"Um…" The blue paladin's facial features twisted up. "He's upset that you're avoiding him, and thinks I made things worse."

Shiro's eyes dilated, before darting over to the wall. His mind drifted to when he sent his younger brother flying into the wall. The black paladin remained silent, not wanting to talk about the incident.

"Shiro…"

"It's not your fault Lance, nor did you make things worse." The black paladin let out a sigh. "Well, I guess you might have caused a problem if you'd gotten Keith believing I'd actually physically abused him in the past, as that would mean he'd be avoiding me, but then…" Shiro felt his shoulders tense up. "That might actually not be a bad thing, considering what happened a few days ago."

What Shiro wanted to avoid conversation wise now became a part of the conversation. Lance of course let his words. When he finally spoke, the blue paladin's words came out in a jumble. "So, you've kind of been avoiding Keith ever since you got back to Earth. I guess you could say it was more so since that incident in the training center, but really, avoiding him?"

"Keith doesn't want me to play favorites, and I wasn't avoiding him before the incident. After, yes, but not before."

"Bull. Keith does want some big brother time. How can he not? I mean, I miss having my big brother time! He can be a jerk, you know, and tells me I'm obnoxious and all, and I pretend I don't care, 'cause, you know, it makes it hurt a lot less that he thinks I'm an annoying bug, but I still want to spend time with him. You get what I'm saying."

Shiro looked Lance in the eye, watching the teen sit down on the end of his bed, the frustration clearly there on his face. "Are you sure you're not transferring your feelings onto Keith? I'm not sure if you quite understand…"

"He's your brother. I can't for the life of me believe that Keith doesn't want to spend time with you, and it's very much obvious you want to spend time with him. I've noticed, but for some reason you two are being major idiots about this. So why to avoid him?"

The black paladin took a deep breath. "Why? You know well what happened the other day. I can't let that happen again. I don't want to be another person to hurt him, not after everything that's happened."

Lance glared at him. "Okay. So I don't understand you. I think you're plain nutters." The word 'nutters' made Shiro visibly flinch. "Yeah, you're nutters for avoiding him over something like that, particularly when…" The blue paladin paused, as if something came to his mind. "Actually, why did you attack Keith. That's not like you. I mean…"

The older paladin swallowed, not pleased with the fact Lance was starting to pick up on the issue.

"Shiro, the color just drained from your face. What's wrong?"

A deep breath escaped Shiro's lips. "Could this conversation not leave the room?"

Lance's eyes blinked a couple of times, his head sinking, before getting up to leave. "Sorry. My sis tells me I've got a habit of prying into things too much, so I'll…"

The black paladin gently grabbed the blue paladin' arm. "No. I'm saying not to say anything to anyone else about what I'm going to tell you. Even Keith, despite the fact he already knows."

The teen sat down, his facial features twisting into confusion. Shiro twisted around so he could face the teen, and listen to what he had to say. "Why? If it's something private that you're not telling everyone else, why me?"

"Because I think you're already starting to figure it out, and I think it's going to bother you until you know. The reason I've not said anything is because I don't want the others to worry, particularly since Keith already is. I'm trusting you to take care of him, if things should get worse. I also can't talk to him about this, but maybe you can. I trust you with this."

"Worse?" Lance let out a half-hearted laugh. "Shiro, what's wrong."

"I don't know how to put this, but have you heard of what sometimes happens when someone in the military returns from active service in a military zone?" The black paladin took a deep breath, hoping the younger paladin would get the implications.

"Quiznack. PTSD?"

"Yeah. And I hurt Keith because of it."

"That doesn't mean you should stay away from him." Lance looked at the ground. "You also lied to me about being okay Shiro, because now I know you're obviously not."

"Sorry." The black paladin felt ashamed, having admitted out loud the PTSD issue, although the still didn't verbally say his issue. "How is Keith doing?"

The blue paladin audibly swallowed. "Keith's not doing to good. He's a whole lot sicker than…"

Shiro started to move from the bed, only to find himself tackled by Lance, who pinned him down. The older paladin could move the younger off, but he also didn't want to hurt the blue paladin. "Lance…"

"Nope. You said…"

The door slid open, making both paladin's turn their head towards the door to see Pidge standing there. "Shiro…" Whatever the green paladin wished to say went out the window, her cheeks blushing up as she looked at the two males. Her vocal cords tightened, making her voice squeak. "Sorry! I'm so sorry!"

The two stared at the closing door. Lance continued to stare, while Shiro lets out a groan. "What just happened."

"I think Pidge misunderstood." One hand reached up to cover his eyes, feeling the fever wrack through his body. "I don't need this now, particularly since I've got to see to Keith.

"No."

Shiro uncovered his eyes, seeing the look of determination in Lance's eyes. "What do you mean, no?"

"No, as in you're not going to go and see Keith." The blue paladin seemed to miss the irritation that the black paladin felt. In fact, Shiro thought the feelings were evident. "You're job is to get better first. You said you trusted me to take care of Keith, so I'm going to do that. I already promised him that I was going to do that, so now I'm going to promise you. I can't guarantee I won't mess up on the way, but I keep my promises Shiro."

Lance pushed himself up, leaving the room while Shiro stared at the ceiling, his mind utterly confused as to what just transpired.