Chapter 9, Into The Expanse.
After leaving Chi-Chi, he told Nimbus to come right back to the Tournament, since he couldn't think of where else to go. The only reason that he had left the Tournament, was so that he could catch up with Chi-Chi and talk to her. He'd had it planned in his head that she would listen to him, and then agree to marry him like he promised that he would do, but she didn't want to, so there would've been no point in staying with her for much longer. He would've liked to stay much longer with her, that's for sure, especially to learn about her fighting tricks, but she didn't want him to.
That's okay, though, he comforts himself as he enters through the familiar Tournament doors, he did hear her confess that she hopes to see him again, so it will only be a matter of time before he sees her again.
He walks through the groups of people who had come to watch the Tournament, still talking about the matches that happened, with the focus of only finding his friends. To be honest, he doesn't have a solid plan of what he will do from here, but maybe his friends have something that he can do with them. At the end of the previous Tournaments, they always went out for a big dinner, before they all went their separate ways, so maybe, they will do the same today as well. Once he sees one of his friends standing in one of the corners of the Tournament hall, he rushes over to him.
Reaching his friend, he slightly lifts his hand in a greeting, to get attention, 'Hey, Yamcha.'
'Goku?' Yamcha wonders, his expression giving his surprise away. 'You're back?'
Although Goku can understand why Yamcha would be surprised to see him back, he doesn't really think that it's that big of a deal that he is back. He didn't say that he wouldn't ever come back, and besides, he doesn't really want to talk about his being back. He would much rather know why Yamcha is standing here by himself, when he'd left his friends together. Where did the others go?
'Where are the others?' Goku asks Yamcha, blatantly ignoring the question that he was asked.
'I'm not sure,' Yamcha answers him, his head rotating around the hall, as if he is confirming his answer that way, 'but they're all around here somewhere.'
'You guys didn't leave?' he wants to know.
Bringing his attention back to Goku, and then shaking his head, Yamcha says, 'Nope. We're waiting for Bulma to get your money; she's giving us all a ride. It's just a lucky thing that they don't hold such a thing as a prize giving award ceremony, because we'd have to make another trip back here, you know.'
'I don't mind that,' Goku lightly confesses as he starts to look around the place for signs of his other friends.
He really wouldn't mind about returning here, if he had to. And even if he had to come back, he wouldn't expect that his friends could, or would come with him. Wholeheartedly, he appreciates his friends, and he likes them, but really, he is not interested in living in expectations of them. That's never been how he's lived his life; expecting things from anyone, and he wouldn't like to start doing that either.
'Don't worry about it,' Yamcha dismissively answers, using the chance to move closer to Goku, 'Bulma's getting everything for you, so you don't have to come back here.'
Goku noticed how much closer Yamcha moved to him, but he didn't think anything of it, until he takes a good look at Yamcha, and sees a specific look on his friend's face. He remembers and recognises this specific look on Yamcha's face, because it's the same curious one that he had given to Chi-Chi a while ago. Now, there's nothing wrong with Yamcha being curious, it's only that now, Goku had that look on Yamcha's face associated with Chi-Chi, which automatically takes his thoughts to Chi-Chi asking Yamcha if they would still get married, and that... He just doesn't like it.
To ignore Yamcha's curiosity, he turns his head the other way, so that he has no view of his friend's face, but then Yamcha moves to directly be in his view.
'So?' Yamcha curiously starts, 'Where's the girl?'
'Chi-Chi?' Goku wonders with his face pulled back, as he is seriously doubting that Yamcha forgot her name so soon.
Not only has it not been that long for Yamcha to have an excuse to forget her name, he also told her that he loved her once, so why would he forget her name? It doesn't make sense to him, why Yamcha is choosing to refer to Chi-Chi as 'the girl' instead of using her name.
'Yeah, Chi-Chi,' Yamcha eagerly nods. 'Where is she?'
Where Chi-Chi is, Goku carefully looks at his friend, his eyes contracting just a little bit at the corners, that's what Yamcha wants to know? Why does it make him feel... He doesn't know... He feels a little like Yamcha is asking for so much more than that, like Yamcha knows that Chi-Chi turned him down. He wonders why it feels like that.
'What?' he presents a question back to Yamcha, hoping to make Yamcha repeat the same question again, for him to see if he will still feel the same way about it.
'I said, where's Chi-Chi?' Yamcha repeats, his voice raising a little.
There it is again, Goku recognises within himself, there's that same feeling from before. His feelings are really no different from the first time that Yamcha asked him that question, and that makes him wonder even more about it. Yamcha only wants to know where he left Chi-Chi, seeing as he had left the Tournament telling them, that he would go after her, but Goku feels like Yamcha's asking for more than that, and that makes him feel defensive about his answer.
'Why?' he suspiciously poses to Yamcha.
He's asking, because typically, he doesn't like to share with his friends, more than he needs to. From the time that he matured, he learned that there were things about himself, that he was better off, and safer not sharing with anyone else, and he always, since then, did that. Also, during his most recent training, Mr. Popo, often told him that sharing everything with everyone, made him extremely vulnerable before people. Being vulnerable before people, Mr. Popo had explained to him, meant that his weaknesses could easily be found out, and then used against him for the worst.
Yamcha is his friend, and he doesn't distrust Yamcha to try anything against him, that could harm him, at least, not on purpose. But, he, for a reason that he doesn't understand, feels like Yamcha is trying to make him vulnerable and open. As a result of that, he can't help himself from carefully eyeing at his friend, and stalling to answer, while he tries to figure out just why he feels this way. Really, Yamcha only wants to know where Chi-Chi is, he's not asking for the details of anything that could've happened between them, and yet...
'I'm just curious,' Yamcha answers him, giving him a suspicious look of his own. 'You left here for her, so I just want to know where she is. Did you find her, or not?'
'I found her,' he gives his friend.
He doesn't know, there's just something about Yamcha as a whole, he realises, that he can't feel comfortable with at the moment. It might have something to do with the curious look on his face, or a little to do with the closeness in physical space that he's occupying next to Goku, or maybe, it's just generally his questions that are making Goku uncomfortable to open up, but there is something there...
His answer apparently excites Yamcha so much, that he shifts even closer to him than before. It's only because they are friends, that Goku doesn't move away from being pushed into like that.
'Really?' Yamcha excitedly wonders. 'And? What happened?'
Only to consider whether, or not he made the right choice in telling Yamcha what he just did, Goku takes a small piece of silent time, to study his friend. Earlier with Chi-Chi, he hadn't liked that earlier look from Yamcha, neither does he like this new look from Yamcha now. To him, Yamcha's curiosity and excitement, are things that he can't feel comfortable with, because they feel too much like Yamcha's trying to open a door that he's not supposed to. But for the sake of them being friends, he'll simply tell it like it is, and then maybe Yamcha will stop with the questions, and his curiosity.
'Chi-Chi doesn't want to marry me,' he decides to truthfully answer.
'She doesn't?'
What's that quick and surprised excitement coming from Yamcha? Really, what is it? What is that expression on his face, like the possibility hadn't occurred to him? What does it mean? Because he doesn't appreciate it.
'Yamcha…' he slowly says the name like he is trying to find its taste on his tongue. 'You can't marry her.'
Immediately, Yamcha jumps back from him, and holds his hands out in front of him in a defending position, to deny that he wants something like that.
'Hey, what do you take me for, Goku?' a deep frown shows on his face as he asks that. 'I'd never move in on your girl, no matter how beautiful she is. I don't want my handsome face done in!'
Well, good, Goku hears himself think uncharacteristically. The last thing that he wants, is for Yamcha to marry Chi-Ch. That promise to marry Chi-Chi, belongs to him, and no, he will not let anyone take it away from him. Yes, it's true that he's not openly competitive like that with anyone, and yes, Yamcha met Chi-Chi first, but he still dislikes to lose what he's determined himself for.
'Just don't marry her,' Goku clearly states, making sure that he doesn't sound like he is joking.
He's being serious, he thinks as Yamcha stares, clearly stunned, at him, and he looks back at his friend. This is not one of those times where he is carefree and just saying things that will, or will not make a difference to him either way. This matter with Chi-Chi, he doesn't understand why yet, but he knows that he'd like to see her again. He'd like to see her again, maybe for a serious fight that next time, and he wouldn't like to find her married to someone else, when he's the one who had made that promise to her. On the whole, he'd like to be the one who keeps his promise to Chi-Chi, well, both of them, and he wouldn't be able to do that, if Yamcha marries her.
'Fine,' Yamcha finally grows tired of only staring at him, 'I won't marry her. But, what will you do now? You know, now that you're not getting married anymore?'
And again, Yamcha seems to be pushing against a door that he shouldn't be. Yamcha's new question seems like a design to make him vulnerable again, especially since he mentioned the fact that he will not be getting married to Chi-Chi anymore. He doesn't like it, Yamcha's question, just like he didn't like the other one. To cleverly avoid the question, he shrugs as though to say that he doesn't know what he'll do with his life, when he really just doesn't want Yamcha to keep asking him any more questions. Too bad for him, though, that his shrug doesn't do what it's supposed to, since Yamcha asks him something else.
'Will you still keep training?'
Yes, Goku answers in his head, he'll still keep training, because he needs to get some levels ahead of Piccolo. But no, he's not going to tell Yamcha that, he would rather look around, and find another thing to use as his escape from answering. Lucky for him, his moving eyes see one of his other friends coming from the little door on the opposite end of the hall, and that, just as instantly as gratefully becomes his greatest reason to escape.
'There's Krillin,' he gratefully blurts out, while a happily reflexive finger moves to point towards his other friend.
And Bulma! Right behind Krillin, he sees Bulma leaving through the same door, to catch up in step with Krillin. Goku can't contain how glad he is to see two more of his friends, not when they are the save that he's been secretly hoping for ever since Yamcha started getting curious looks on his face, and asking questions that didn't leave Goku feel comfortable enough to answer them.
'Yeah,' Yamcha replies, 'he's with Bulma, and it looks like they got your money.'
Who cares about his money? He cares more that he won't have to continue strangely feeling like Yamcha is intruding his private territory. Thank goodness for Krillin and Bulma, for choosing now to show up, but he can't just continue to stand here and wait for them to notice him. He'll go right over, to meet them in the middle. He doesn't notice if Yamcha follows after him, or not, all he wants to do, is get a change from that atmosphere with Yamcha.
'Krillin,' he waves over to his friend, before they fully meet.
'Goku?'
Krillin, is reacting almost like Yamcha had, which is not that much of a surprise. The surprise, is Bulma, who, even from where she is, coats her face in the brightest of red angry colours. Past situations with both Bulma and Launch, have taught Goku how to know when they furious about something, and there is no mistaking that Bulma is fuming for something that obviously happened.
The most likely that she is angry about, Goku quickly thinks, is something that either Master Roshi, or Yamcha did. If not that, then something must've happened in that room where they are coming from, and that's why she's showing her feelings of temper that way. His surprise is not really that she's like that, it's more that she suddenly just switched to being extremely angry, once her eyes fell on him.
'What's wrong Bulma?' he asks in concern.
If it has something to do with the people in the room from where she just came, he will not waste time in going to see them about it. That is, unless Bulma is just being herself, getting worked up over little things, when it's really not that big of a deal.
'What's this I hear about you getting married?' she screams at him in response.
'What?' comes out of his mouth without permission.
He doesn't care that Bulma screamed loud enough for everyone to hear her, he also doesn't care that Bulma's angry like, looking ready to hit him if he does something reckless like step closer to her, he cares –and this is surprising to himself- that Bulma made it sound like it's a stupid thing that he wants to do. His question to her, is his way of asking her to explain to him, what's wrong with wanting to get married.
'How can you do that?' Bulma aggressively screams at him again. 'How can you marry without telling me? What are you thinking? What do you know about that Chi-Chi? Remember how scary her father was when we were younger? What if he tries to kill you, huh?'
He knows and sees that Bulma is upset, but what is she talking about? All that because of his promise to marry Chi-Chi?
Ox King, Chi-Chi's father, had been mean to them in the beginning, but he soon changed when he realised that they didn't want to steal his treasure. Anyway, Ox King had only been trying to protect what was his, just like Goku himself, had tried to protect his Dragon Ball when she first showed up, and tried to take it without his permission.
Bulma shouldn't judge people like that, he thinks. So many of the people that are their friends now, had been unfriendly to them when they first met, but here they all are. Why should she think that Ox King can't have changed, even if he had been scary back then? And besides, Ox King couldn't ever kill him, because Ox King would have to be stronger than him to do that.
'You moron, Goku,' Bulma cries in something that's like a sob, her tone coming down by a lot, 'this isn't the time to be your careless self! Marriage is a big thing, and you can't just... You can't just...'
He noticed that she seemed to develop a stutter towards the end of whatever point she was trying to make, until the stutter silently broke off, and he begins to wonder what made her do that. Wondering, he waits for her to say something else, to pick up where she left off, but she only looks at him pleadingly during that time. Not long after that, she suddenly breaks out into a big cry, just before crossing the space that had been between them, to dramatically fall into him.
Huh? What?
Apart from being confused, he's still in that place where he's waiting for Bulma to complete the sentence that she never did. Here Bulma is, forcefully resting against him, with him unable to give her any type of response, and he still just wants to hear her say what she didn't get to say. Granted that by now, he's used to Bulma making doing the funniest things for reactions, when she doesn't get what she either wanted or expected to happen, but this has no explanation to him.
'Uh...' he begins to bring his hands up, to at least keep her steady against him, and then only turns his head towards Krillin. 'Is something wrong?'
As he stands, all he knows, is that he saw Krillin and Bulma, thought to himself that he would be getting a break from Yamcha's curiosity if he went over to them, only to be surprised with screaming from Bulma. And now this, Bulma crying in his arms, and he absolutely doesn't understand why.
'She's upset,' Krillin provides for him, and just then, Bulma pulls away from Goku.
It's funny to him, how as suddenly as Bulma flung into him, she gathers herself away from contact with him just as Krillin answered that she is upset. The way that he knows her, she must not want that to be the answer that Goku hears, so she quickly moved to change it. He finds it funny too, how upon pulling away from him, she loses her crying face, twisted expressions and all, as if none of it was ever there to begin with. Further making it seem like she has nothing to do with the hysterical person that just was, she slowly turns her head, to face Krillin.
'I'm not upset, Krillin,' she calmly says, and although Goku can't see her face, he gets a very look at the facial response from Krillin.
That response from Krillin doesn't convince him that Bulma meant her reply as calmly as she said it, but rather that she made a specifically scary face to accompany her words. He can't confirm that, though, because he's not the one looking at Bulma, and she also turns back to him, but looking hurt than anything else. If he hadn't been here the whole time with them, he would easily believe that Krillin did something to hurt her feelings.
'But...' she starts, her eyes beginning to water. 'You can't get married Goku! You just can't.'
So, that's what she wanted to say from before? Well, he guesses that he doesn't like that, then. Not even a little bit.
He feels funny even just thinking this, because he usually isn't like this, and he usually doesn't take his friends too seriously when they tell him things, but there's something about this whole Chi-Chi subject, that is different. First, Chi-Chi didn't remember him, and then she didn't want to accept his promise. Second, Kami, the great Kami, told him to let her go, and to not go after her. Third, he went after Chi-Chi determined to get her, but not only did she reject him, she also won their small battle competition. When he combines all those things together, all they add up to in his head, are losses.
He hates losing. Very much. And he's never had that many consecutive losses in his life before, so, it's only normal, he guesses, that he feels extremely sensitive and reacting unlike himself around his friends, and them talking about Chi-Chi to him.
'I can, if I want to,' he replies to Bulma, feeling a deep frown on his face.
It's not that he's irritated with Bulma, to be frowning at her, it's that he doesn't like Bulma telling him what he can't do. He doesn't like Bulma sounding like that, he doesn't like that Bulma is making him feel like he needs her permission in his life, when he's never needed it before, and he just doesn't like that she, just like Yamcha, is trying to push through a door that she is not supposed to. As far as he knows, his marrying Chi-Chi has nothing to do with them, so they really shouldn't be involving themselves into it.
'But you can't,' Bulma insists in what sounds like a pleading cry. 'What if we never see you again? You have a bad habit of disappearing, Goku. If you get married, I'll never see you again!'
He's tired of this now, he sighs aloud, but silently looks at Bulma.
He doesn't fully understand why, but he's really just tired of this with Bulma, and he doesn't want to keep feeling like this towards his friends. Not only that, he also doesn't want to keep feeling like he's not being himself anymore. He's just tired of feeling inside. He'd rather feel something physically, than feel where he can't touch the effect of those feelings. It's time that he stops this here.
'You'll see me,' he tells her, looking away from all of them then, to finish with, 'I'm not getting married anyway.'
'You're not?' both Bulma and Krillin's voices ask at once, causing him to turn their way again.
'Why not?' Krillin wants to know more.
Unlike Bulma and Yamcha, to Goku, it seems like Krillin is genuinely only asking, because he thought that Goku was determined to get married to Chi-Chi. It's a comforting change, Goku thinks, to know that someone who hasn't made love declarations to Chi-Chi in the past, and someone who doesn't have a biased opinion of Chi-Chi, is on his side. Worried about him, not curious to find out more.
Considering that, he could easily confess the truth about how he couldn't convince Chi-Chi to agree to him keeping his promise, but then, he'd be telling a small lie, because he clearly heard when Chi-Chi whispered that she hopes to see him again. Although there's still that opening of an opportunity for him to reason with Chi-Chi, he doesn't want anyone else to know about it yet. Not even Krillin.
'It's okay,' is what he chooses to answer his friend with, shrugging too.
'Well...' Krillin starts, nervously scratching the back of his head. 'Goku, the thing is... I know that you will do the right thing here. I mean, if you don't want to marry her anymore, then you have your reasons, right?'
'Sure,' he automatically answers, so as not to get deeper into the conversation.
As a way of showing his support, Krillin smiles at him, saying, 'Okay, then. Whatever you do, Goku, I'll still be your friend.'
'Thanks, Krillin.'
He appreciates that. He really does, because his friends are important to him and he never wants to lose them. Thinking that, he moves his head to look at Bulma, silently hoping that she will accept to leave it here, and not rejoice at the fact that he is not get married anymore.
'Goku...' is all that comes from Bulma's mouth, though.
He can't say if she is sorry that he is not getting married, or she's just something else, that's not overjoyed. It doesn't matter anyway, he tells himself, he likes her just as she is. She gets carried away sometimes, but she's truly a good person, and he really likes her. He doesn't want to leave while she's angry with him, not when he doesn't know when he'll see her next.
'You're leaving again, aren't you?' she suddenly asks.
'I'll be back,' he answers, automatically feeling that there's no use in wondering how she put it together that he wants to go now.
'But where are you going?' it's Krillin who asks him this time.
Really, his friends should be used to his leaving by now. They know that he's not one to stay in one place for too long. He goes after the things that he feels he wants, and his friends are supposed to remember that about him.
'I'll see you all later,' he promises with a smile as a deflecting answer to the asked question.
That's all that they need to know for now, because even he isn't sure where he is going from here exactly. All he knows, is that he will leave the Tournament, go out into the expanse, and see where that leads him to. Hopefully, he'll bump into Chi-Chi somewhere along the way. He'd definitely like it, if that happened.
Chapter 10, Journey Of Wonders.
