Asuka quickly ducked into her cabin to get her jacket and cap, pausing to look at a dent in the wall. Her insides crawled as she remembered how it got there.
"Feeling better?" Mari stood in the doorway, regarding Asuka with sympathy. "As if you care, four eyes," Asuka muttered. "Everything's fine for you as long as you get to make stupid jokes." Mari sighed. "Asuka, I know we don't really get along that much, but at the end of the day, we're a team, and we should look out for each other." Asuka was silent for a moment. "Thanks," she mumbled, pushing past Mari.
Misato looked up as Asuka barged into the briefing room. The girl's eye seemed... hollow. As if all the life had been drained out of it. "I wonder if that's how I look?" Misato wondered.
Asuka looked around at the faces in the briefing room. All the combat vessel commanders were there. "So, what the hell's going on?" she sneered. "Nothing good, I take it?" She was met with dozens of glares. "Don't act as if you aren't as scared as the rest of us, assholes," she thought bitterly. Misato sighed. "Pretty much. Hyuga?" Hyuga stepped forwards reluctantly, as if announcing the facts would make them a reality.
"Last night, we detected a large Nerv force approaching the fleet. It's the largest we've ever seen. Numbers are unclear, but they seem to be in the high hundreds, possibly in the thousands. We expect they'll attack tomorrow." Asuka swore. The captain of the Missouri raised his hand. "Any idea of their composition? Is the Nemesis Series involved?" "All we have so far are rough numbers. They're in a very tight formation, so active sonar can't make them out well enough."
"And the Evangelions?" the captain of the Adelaide looked to Ritsuko. "Are they ready?" Ritsuko nodded. "02 and 08 are combat capable. However, we can't restore them to 100% operational capacity until the new parts and plugsuits are completed, which they won't be for another few weeks." "And we only had to wait five years," Asuka whispered to Mari, eliciting a grin.
"And I take it that we're no closer to getting the Wunder airborne?" Misato shook her head. "No, we need an Evangelion to power it, and two to defend the fleet. We need to capture one of Nerv's Evas." The room was silent. "Alright, you know what to do, get ready," Misato said, and left. Asuka followed her, pushing past the somber faces of the captains.
She found Misato's cabin door closed, and simply burst in. Misato was lying on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. Her jacket and cap were dumped on the floor. She was silent. "So, do we have a chance?" Asuka muttered. "You know as well as I do that we don't," Misato whispered. "If we had a chance of winning this, it died a long time ago." "So why do we even bother, then?" Misato was again silent for a moment. "Because part of me still has hope, I guess."
Asuka stared down at her, holding back tears. "So this is where it ends, is it? We all just die, with no-one to remember us?" Misato turned her head and opened her mouth, but no words came out. Asuka turned and stormed out, making sure to slam the door.
Misato opened her bedside drawers, and took out a faded photograph of herself in her college years, in the arms of a smiling man with unkempt hair. She stared at it for a few moments, then dropped it as she began to sob.
Mari found Asuka sitting on the deck a short distance from Misato's cabin, hunched over, her face gaunt. She sat down next to her, sighing. "We're all going to die tomorrow," Asuka mumbled. Mari shook her head. "No, I'm sure we'll pull something out of our ass. We always do." "Not this time." Asuka stared at the floor. "There are thousands of them. We're screwed." She wiped her eye, determined not to cry. "I don't want to die. I'm not ready yet. I haven't even had the chance to live properly for the last fourteen years. It's not fucking fair!" Her breathing became fast and shallow. "I just want to live!" Mari looked at her panic-ridden face. "So do I," she whispered, placing her hand on Asuka's.
But Asuka had already gotten up, and was walking down the corridor. "Ah," Mari grimaced. "Of course not."
Wren let out a large sigh as he heard the news. "Thousands?! How the hell are we going to get through this?" He looked back up at the chief, who continued the briefing, his voice deflated. "As usual, we'll... we'll be on standby behind the outer circle of ships, and respond to... situations as they come up. And we'll be co-operating with the medical teams, as usual, obviously. Any... are there any questions?"
The room was silent. No-one wanted to know any more details.
Wren, Bob, and David walked back to their cabins, silent. "Nice place for it, I guess," Bob said, his voice somewhat strangled. "The icebergs look pretty good." Wren grunted an affirmative. They reached his cabin. "Well, see you guys tomorrow, then," he mumbled. "Yeah, see you," Bob mumbled back. Wren looked at David. "David, you... uh, you should.. talk to Daisy." David looked up. "Hmm? Oh... yeah... I guess... I'll think about it..."
There was an awakward silence. "Well, take care of yourselves, guys," Wren said, and entered his cabin.
"I've been waiting for you," Asuka said as she sat on his bed. "You heard too, huh?" Wren looked down at the deck. "Yeah, I heard. Thousands... I just... fuck." He looked up at her. "What are our chances?" "None. We're all going to die tomorrow." Wren felt like his stomach was trying to crawl up his throat as her words struck home. "Oh god..." Asuka looked away from him. "It's the hope that's the worst part, isn't it? That one, tiny, stupid part of you that won't let you accept your fate, and tortures you with the possibility of a future." She sneered. "What a fucking joke." After a few moments, Wren nodded. "Should've stayed in the fucking box, he mumbled.
There was a long silence, then Asuka took off her hat and jacket. "Wren, remember what we were talking about this morning? About surviving and living?" "Yeah, I remember." She stood up and walked towards him, and looked at his face for a few moments.
Then she wrapped her arms around him, and started kissing him.
Wren froze in surprise, then started kissing back, gripping her tightly. After a few moments, she broke away. "I want to live one more time," she whispered, and pressed a button on her wrist. Her plugsuit fell to the ground.
"What the hell am I doing?"
