Kaichō wa Maid-sama!

18/03/2017

Really really grateful for the continued love and support for this fic. I will try harder, and hopefully my efforts will not be futile. I do not recognise a change in the way I write, but for some reason I can feel it. To avoid confusion, please refer to the layout on my profile.

Vijju123– Aw sweet. But come at me B| *initiates chopstick battle*

Takumisa17– Aww, thank you. :)

Stella Haha. Sorry for keeping your hopes high. I swear I'll try to update faster! And thanks by the way! :D

Padfoot Starfyre– Yes. Not sure if I mentioned it but Gerard wrote the letter on his own will (against his grandfather's, actually) to warn Misaki. I can actually imagine him being a hardcore TakuMisa shipper, with posters and merch. Heh, sorry for the cliffhanger. Here's the next chapter!

Rory Ah, thank you for the info. And for loving my cliffhanger. Really. Thank you.
It'd be nice if we could have some anatomy talk and such. I hope you're well.

Patricia Walker Thank you. :) I hope you won't stop reading despite my crappy updates. Much love! And haha, read on. I may or may not have diagnosed the guy with amnesia. Who knows? ;)

Minniemiss123 Thank you for the continued support! And don't worry, you can go as lengthy as you want. :D You're just too sweet!

BluBerry Rose– Ah, I really should've made things more intense. :DD Thank you for your thoughts and for pointing that out! I love you forever.

Afe Niel– Fuaaahh~ What if instead of him, she got hit by the truck in the process of trying to save him?! 0_0 RIP Ayuzawa Misaki lololol. :]]

THANK YOU TO ALL WHO REVIEWED! YOU ALL ARE MY MVBees. :D

To everyone: If you ever want to point something out or criticise my work, please please don't hesitate to do so. If I knew my weak points, that'll improve my writing and because of that, yoll can enjoy my stuff better. Well, good talk.


Chapter 8: Halcyon warmth


Halcyon

"denoting a period of time in the past that was idyllically happy and peaceful."

•••

If I get high enough, will I see you again?

•••


The room reeked of alcohol.

Not the alcohol that Usui Takumi liked to dip his little blond head in every now and then, but the alcohol that one can use to look for hidden paper cuts on his hand. Rubbing alcohol. Isopropyl alcohol.

It smelled so clean and sanitary.

It was an undeniable fact that his building was sterilised from every glass tile to the next and was probably the cleanest place in Japan, but this place had a different kind of scent.

As he opened his eyes, he found that he could not see anything but white. The blond tilted his head to the right to have a good view of where he was, but only espied eternal whiteness, and a bit of fuzzy lines here and there.

Right. He wasn't wearing his glasses. He hadn't worn his glasses for a good five years already. Wait―his contact lenses? Where were his contact lenses? But more importantly―

'Where in the shits am I?'

Trying to lift his left hand to scratch his cheek, he realised that it was immobile. Like something was keeping it in place.

A wave of nostalgia hit him as he lingered on the tranquil warmth that laid on his hand, before he was left with the thought that he felt this kind of warmth before. He knew that this was, and of course, could only be―(1)

'Warm. So warm.'

The blond felt defeated by his own body, and soon enough did he give in to his id.

Usui Takumi's last efforts before the white that surrounded him became black was squeezing the only thing that he found warm. Everything else was cold. This place―wherever it was, he didn't know and for some reason didn't care―was cold, his body was cold, and he felt ice in his chest. His heart ached, but this warmth―even if it was not much―overwhelmed the cold that had become his loyal companion ever since he came to be.

This feeling... It made him feel... Happy. It reminded him of a transient happiness. A happiness that he believe he couldn't relive again, yet here he was, feeling a peculiar joy that he could not describe.

He couldn't pinpoint what it was then, but he was sure that whatever the thing was―it reassured him that he was still alive, even if he wasn't really living.


Ayuzawa Misaki let the events replay in her head. She couldn't help it. Her brain was like a broken record going on and on, over and over again.

He was there.

He was there, and all she did was watch.

She managed to scream his name, but it was as if her body had a mind of its own after that.

She couldn't―didn't move. She watched him as the truck came, and she didn't even approach his almost lifeless body that lay on the icy road. Hinata had arrived at the scene broadcasting his son's name, and rushed into action when he saw the bloodied man. She witnessed all these things, and all she did was watch. Even Kyo had tried to help, but she?

She was just watching.

The raven-haired looked at the ceiling of the lift that she was in right now. She was shocked to see that she looked as calm as she could ever be. Not a drop of sweat was on her forehead, nor did she find tears brimming at her eyes. Her amber orbs had no story to tell, and one could not figure out what she was thinking.

Misaki was always told that unlike her sister Suzuna, she was an open book.

'But why', she asked herself, 'do I look so emotionless right now?
Shouldn't I be feeling sad?'

The mien on his face was embedded clearly on her memory.

The doors of the elevator opened, and suddenly, she ran to the room where she was told a certain Usui Takumi would be. She found this behaviour of hers rather strange because she had been so impassive earlier, and now she was running.

As she arrived at her destination, she took a gulp before resting her hand on the cold, metal doorknob. Despite her hand on it, she could feel it growing colder.

'Wait, what if he's already awake?'

Ayuzawa Misaki felt the hesitation impaling a huge hole in her heart. Her knees were threatening to cave in. The woman's blood drained as she remembered him saying her name. His voice was hoarse. Guttural. Like it had not been used for years. He sounded so hurt... so betrayed. The way he had said her name felt as if he regretted seeing her again.

'Of course he would.'

Slowly, she backed away from the door, dubious with her decision.

It would only make things worse if she would visit him now; it had been five years after all, and she disappeared without even telling him the reason why she had left. She left Seika High and Maid Latté, and her family moved to a new city. Everything had changed since then.

Everything else did, but her feelings for him.

Even if Usui Takumi did not care about her anymore, and even if he has someone else in his heart now, she knew that somewhere in the past, she still hurt him. He loved her too much then, and she knew that.

What would and should she do when she sees him again? How would and could she explain herself? How would he react if he saw her again? What should she say? That she came to check on him to see if he was doing well?

How could and should she tell him that she came because she was worried?

He would probably laugh if he heard her say that she still cared.

Shaking all thoughts free, Misaki sucked in a sharp breath as she walked back to where she had been earlier, clutched the knob and turned it without thinking twice.

She didn't care anymore. She was sick of pretending that she was alright without him. She didn't care if he'd push her away. She found that whatever she did, it would always, always be associated with him.

Ayuzawa Misaki couldn't lie to herself.

Usui Takumi had beautifully ruined all things good and bad for her. She found that their paths would always cross, and his existence would never fail to overlap hers. No matter where she looked, there was never a moment in her life in which she failed to think of him. Her choice or not, he had become a part of her.

Screw the letter―the Walkers―screw everything.

She had to see him.


He could feel the pull of reality trying to free him. Somewhere deep within him was begging his body to wake up, but he was paralysed. Free-falling into a dark abyss, he was helpless and unable to move.

The blond could see her face ever so clearly in his mind. He could see her laughing, and then she had an angry expression donned on her face. A smile was tugging at the corner of her lips, and then he could see her crying like a child. Images of Ayuzawa Misaki from the time they met were appearing here and there, but he couldn't do anything except watch her almost palpable figure coming closer, and then growing distant whenever he tried to extend his hands out to her.

Takumi could feel his arms struggling to move, but all his efforts were vain. His stubborn body rendered them nugatory. He was stuck; a prisoner of himself.

'"Please understand, if I see you again, don't even say hello."'

Her walking away from him was the last thing he saw before his eyes opened. He reached out to her, but all he could see was her back and her dark hair growing distant and distant―growing out of reach.

Her scream reverberated in his ears, echoing in his mind.

'"USUI!"'

He woke up gasping. He was drenched in his own sweat. His body felt hot, but he was freezing.

'"Oji-san―WATCH OUT!"'

That scream―he was sure that it was the little boy in his building. In fact, he had seen him somewhere―in his dream. He had dreamt that they were in front of Maid Latté; the boy was even talking fondly of his mother as he warned the man about being safe around roads.

Why did he see the little boy in his dream?

But the strangest thing of all was that he had seen her. Ayuzawa Misaki was there with the little boy.

Was it actually real?

His temples throbbed in pain, but it didn't matter.

'It has to be the alcohol', the man told himself as he let out a chuckle, 'This has happened before. You fucked up badly this time though.'

The blond shut his eyes tight, letting the tears flow. He spent all his nights dreaming of her, but this time felt nothing but real.

The world really can be shitty, but finding that out the hard way is shittier than anything it can hurl at you.

'How long will I have to endure before I can see you again?
I know that you will only be alive in the whiskey that I drink,
through my dreams when I am asleep,
and when it's all over, you'll be gone as you always were.

What should and can I do to make you stay, even if I won't be able to hold you?

Tell me, Ayuzawa Misaki.

If we were to see each other again,
can you tell I haven't slept very well since the last time that we spoke?'

He was probably just hallucinating, and the warmth that he felt earlier was his body trying to comfort him.

'The warmth?'

Laughs ceased and tears dried, Usui Takumi swiftly swished his head to his left, ignoring the acute pain that followed right after. As bloodshot as his eyes were and as blurry his vision could get, what he saw―he was certain―was no hallucination.

The same woman that was in his dream was by his side―sitting on a chair, asleep and gripping his left hand as if her very own life depended on it.


(1) Takumi was really exhausted and pretty much deadass here, so he couldn't think about why the warmth was really familiar. He was actually getting to it, but he was interrupted with the whole warmth thing.

Yoll are probably confused, but if you read closely, you'll understand that Takumi does not remember getting hit by a truck. He thinks that seeing Kyo in front of the café was a dream, as well as seeing the boy with Misaki. So he blames the alcohol for that haha.

A/n: I don't know if it happens to you guys but it does (quite often, actually) to me. It's horrifying really―seeing gory images and such whilst you know you're asleep yet you can't wake up no matter how hard you try. You can't breathe, and you're stuck in another dimension with all your fears and anxieties. You're screaming at yourself to wake up, but you can't hear anything. There's the deafening silence haunting you. You're just stuck there, and you're afraid that if you don't try to get up, you won't ever get to.

Then (finally aND THANKFULLY lol) you just jolt up sweating and you're scared to go back to sleep because you know―you know that you'll see them again if you do.

I figured that seeing Misaki from 5 years ago (as well as remembering Kyo screaming) would trigger his senses and force him to wake up. Something like that.

I don't actually like this chapter. I kinda feel like I could've done better, and at the same time I know I can't. Please let me know your thoughts. I'd really love to know them. :D