Guest: Shelby discovers that Rachel's fathers were not good dads to her.
Guest: Maybe Rachel could talk about the problem of her dads with Shelby?
Guest: Shelby questions Rachel about her dads not coming to her Broadway debut & why she never talks about them.
Killing 3 birds with one stone with this one.
I've returned to you, my lovelies, and have missed you all so very much!
Tell me what you think, thank you so much for all of the wonderful prompts and reviews!
If you have any more, you know what to do! xD
With love always, hayleynymphadora
Strength and Parenting
Rachel and Shelby sat on Rachel's bed, cross legged and drinking hot cocoa and talking. It was a new favorite pastime of theirs, as mother and daughter. They were still getting to know each other and could always find something to talk about.
Tonight they were talking about inspirations.
"Do you remember us singing the song, "Loser Like Me"?" Rachel asked, taking another drink of cocoa.
"The one with the slushies and confetti?" Shelby grinned, recalling it. "I remember seeing you all sing it in the choir room, just for the hell of it."
Rachel nodded. "We wrote that song. It was about Sue bullying us and everyone telling us how badly we suck and that we weren't good enough to make it. As much as it hurt, I think all of the bullying was inspiring. It made us who we are, it made us stronger. It makes me sort of understand Ms. July's methods."
"She didn't deliberately bully you, did she?" Shelby asked worriedly. She knew that Cassie's teaching could sometimes get out of hand.
At his, Rachel shook her head, wrapping her hands around her mug. "At the time I thought she picked me out of everyone else just to torture me. But I realize now that at least what she did helped me—prepared me and taught me. She did it to teach; others just did it to be cruel."
Shelby looked at her daughter with sad, apologetic eyes. She felt horrible that she wasn't there for Rachel while she was bullied, and could've been. Shaking her head, she tried to focus on the future and on the now. She was at Rachel's apartment now. Now, she was there to listen and help anyway she could.
"How bad was it, Rachel?" she asked softly.
Rachel pressed her lips together and Shelby thought maybe she had gone too personal.
"You don't have to answer that," she said quickly.
Rach shook her head. "It's fine, I can answer." She moved a free strand of hair behind her ear. "Things could get pretty horrible," her eyes glazed over. "Almost everyone hated me. There wasn't a single person who never took the time out of their day to make my life hell. I was slushied at least twice a week—sometimes in the same day."
Shelby widened her eyes at the story. She couldn't imagine having to get dye out of your eyes and hair and clothes more than twice a week, or at all. Let alone the ice. Especially during school hours in between classes.
"I kept spare clothes in my locker…my dads never knew why I had to go shopping for new clothes so much but they didn't question it—they gave me money and let me go to the mall."
They didn't question it. Shelby's heart fell. Who did I give my daughter to?!
They had never talked about Rachel's dads. Rachel never talked about them, anyways. Shelby decided to bring them up a little more casually then the conversation they were currently in. Little did she know how touchy of a subject she was treading into.
"Why weren't your dads at your big Broadway debut?" She asked. "You almost never talk about them…"
Rachel bit her lip and Shelby wanted to take the question back but what's said is said.
"They were busy."
Too busy to go to their daughter's opening night on Broadway? Shelby had been busy too—she made time to go. There was a silence and Shelby finally said,
"Your dads never did anything about the bullying?" she was admittedly very furious with Hiram and LeRoy. They had promised to always love and protect her daughter and from what she was hearing that was not something they did.
Rachel shook her head. "They didn't know about the seriousness of it, or they would've done something I'm sure. They didn't know I was bullied at all."
Shelby blinked, incredulous. "They never noticed your pain? Your tears? Your slushy-stained sweaters?"
Again, Rachel pressed her lips together and cocked her head to one side. "Shelby, I'm an actress."
"Well yes, but—"
"They were never home enough to notice, either way." Rachel half-whispered. "They were always busy…"
Confused, Shelby said. "What do you mean, Rachel?"
Rachel shrugged. "They were always working or off doing something. They aren't people to just sit around the house and do nothing."
Shelby could feel her heart breaking. She was under the impression that Hiram and LeRoy had been amazing parents. In the past, Rachel had spoken so highly of them. For nine months, Shelby got help from them—they bought her prenatal vitamins and pregnancy book and doctors visits. They had seemed like amazing people.
"I mean, I love my dads," Rachel recovered. "And I know they love me, so much. I just don't talk to them or about them much. It's just that after I turned like 13, I sort of went independent, you know? I couldn't talk to them about girly things and puberty and bullying. Besides, they always seemed so busy, I didn't want to bother them for too long."
So they loved you, but gave you too much freedom, Shelby thought. You were just a young girl and they neglected you.
Tears formed in Shelby's eyes. She had unintentionally caused Rachel so much pain. She gave her to dads who failed to care for her as well as they should have. She broke Rachel's heart after Rachel "found" her. She couldn't even blame Hiram and LeRoy because she knew it was hypocritical. Shelby knew that she was never there either. Rachel had basically raised herself and Shelby knew that she was the only one to blame.
If she hadn't, if she weren't, if she didn't.
But she had and she did.
She had neglected Rachel even more than Hiram and LeRoy had.
"I am so sorry, Rachel," Shelby's voice broke. "I had no idea. If I had known how horrible your life was—"
"It wasn't horrible every day," Rachel amended.
"Yes, but still—" Shelby felt awful. Why had she subjected such a wonderful girl to such torture?
"It isn't your fault," Rachel said to her, her voice so sincere that Shelby forced herself to at least try to believe her. But she couldn't help but still feel like the "World's Worst Mother of the Year" award should have been given to her—for 19 years in a row.
"I love you, Rachel," Shelby reached out and took her daughter's hand. "I promise, things will be different from now on, okay? A great different. I'm here for you, now and forever."
Rachel's famous mega-watt grin appeared on her face and she squeezed her mother's hand.
"I can't wait," she smiled warmly.
Shelby looked at her daughter who had raised herself. Who had faced a life full of neglect and bullies and rough situations and was still living her Broadway dream. Her daughter who had stayed so strong. Whom she was so proud of.
"Neither can I," she replied.
