Chapter 9 Test results

Laughter and good times were had for about a week and then I decided I should probably get back to my own house. I had to see if the doctor had called the house plus I needed to figure out where I was gonna stay. I had thought about maybe calling one of my siblings, although I wasn't really close to any of them at the moment.

Dean had come over to Bobby's for dinner so he said he would drop me off on his way home. We both hugged Bobby and Garth goodbye.

About 20 minutes later Dean and I were pulling up to my house. Seeing the darkness inside made me want to just stay in the car. I knew as soon as I walked into that house I was gonna be alone.

I sighed as I leaned to open the door, to my surprise I felt a hand on my shoulder holding me back.

"Cas, do you want me to stay with you tonight?" Dean asked with worry in his eyes.

It took me a minute to comprehend the question.

"Oh Dean I appreciate it I really do, but I think I need some time to think. Maybe you can come over tomorrow?" Cas replied.

Dean smiled as he said, "Ya know I understand and lets hangout tomorrow. Maybe you can meet Sammy."

"Sounds good." I said as I exited the car.

I waved goodbye as Dean pulled out my driveway.

As I turned around I felt chills grace my skin. The house looked menacing and evil. I sighed and headed to the door, turning the key to hear it's usual click.

I walked into the house, first noticing that the couch was missing. As I took a sweep of the house I noticed mostly everything was gone except the stuff in my bedroom and to my surprise the home phone. I thought that was quite odd, knowing full well that my mother had left then rather deal with her faggot son.

I saw the answering machine blink three times indicating three messages. I sat down indian style on the floor and braced myself.

I hit the play button for the first message:

"Hey Castiel…this is Nurse Anna from Doctor Bathy's office. Just wanted to let you know your test results were in and that you could pick them up anytime. Thank you so much, Bubye."

Ok test results were in, I let a breath out and listened for the next message:

"Hey Castiel…this is Nurse Anna again just wanted to know if you wanted to set up a follow up appointment to talk to the doctor. Your mother didn't make one when she came to get your test results. She said she would tell you to call us and make one when you had time. So just checking up on you. Thank you."

Shit my mother got the test results, but before I gone completely nuts I wait to here the next message.

"Hey faggot son. I got your test results. I can't believe you were fucking that boy you are such a disgrace to this family. I won't spoil anything for you…but I wish I could see the look on your face when you read those results. They are on the top of the fridge. Also as you probably can tell I fucking left. I am getting as much distance between you as possible. Don't ever try to contact me. Have a fucking nice life and just so you know your punishment for your sins starts after you hear this message."

There was a loud beep and then nothing. Silence crept in and all I could do was sit there trying to breath. I felt like I was having a panic attack…everything crashing down on me. What did the results say? How can my mom be this way? She said she would always love me?

Tears were welling up in my eyes as I walked to the fridge.

They began to fall as I opened the already opened envelope.

I skimmed through all the doctor lingo and got to the bottom where I read the results.

Positive for genital herpes.

Now at first I wasn't sure how to react, I just stood there stupidly rereading the results.

I thought this can't be happening to me, after so much shit and now this. I closed my eyes and tried to take calming breaths.

Don't break yet, just read everything first I told myself.

Luckily the doctor made it easy for me because inside the envelope was all kinds of information for me.

Basically to sum it up…genital herpes is an sexually transmitted disease. There is no cure, it sits inside your nerve cells dormant and whenever it decides to show up it does. Most outbreaks are stress related and outbreaks tend to lessen as time goes on so they say. It can be very painful at times, blisters form in your genital area and last for a good two weeks creating a crater like wound that takes forever to heal. No matter the time you can always pass it to someone else.

Yes, I wasn't dying, but it sure gave me a mental fuck.

I sat with my back against the fridge for a good two hours just crying.

I was now living with a mistake that someone else made and it would be with me forever.

I had never felt so alone.