It Sucks Being the Eldest: Jason Edition Part 2
Number 111: Bad Mood
Red thought today would be nice, that people would just get off his back and allow him to smoke and drink until the cows came home but his persistent older brother, a certain dick-faced Golden Boy Robin, just had to point out that Bruce ordered him home hours ago. Why wasn't he going home? Simple. It was result of a boy by the name of Damian Wayne, the cute little bugger.
Red heard a cuss word behind his back and sighed, scratching the side of his head with his Beretta 96, he knew he had missed one thug. He turned around and levelled the firearm in front of him, placed a hand over his eyes and fired; satisfied with the wet splat! that seemed to echo off the walls.
Now he was ready to go home.
Number 112: Name Calling
If Jason knew karma was such a bitch, perhaps he wouldn't have provoked Dick so many times in their past because now, he just felt stupid.
"Jason, you look like a red condom."
Number 113: Women
Are scarce in Wayne Manor because Bruce can't keep a girlfriend longer than six months or they die some horrible death.
Dick has Babs and even she can't handle the stress.
Tim keeps Stephanie all to himself.
Damian doesn't get girls.
Alfred…actually, no one knows about Alfred's love life…or any other part of his life.
Number 114: Damsel in Distress
"I am not."
"Face it, Dickie Bird, you've got enough DiD's to beat Princess Peach."
"I do not."
"Fine. Then Tim takes the cake of being most helpless."
"I am not helpless."
"Compared to Baby B over there, you're that princess locked in a great tower guarded by a dragon, pink dress and all."
"I'm going to have to agree with Todd on this one."
"Stay out of this, Damian."
Number 115: Hugs
Everyone Jason cares about has, at one time or another, given him a hug.
Well, all except Bruce.
Number 116: Needles
Jason couldn't stand the sight of them. He wasn't worried about the blood or the pain but that instrument of fear provoked such harsh memories of his mother writhing on the floor scratching at her arm and picking off skin, screaming for Jason to come and get the spiders off her. Jason couldn't see them, his eyes were focused on the blisters and dirty syringe, smoke rising from tin foil.
If you "chase the dragon" far enough, you'll be done the rabbit hole faster than you can say "heroin addict".
Number 117: Angel
It was the first thing that came out of his mouth when he saw her. She had dyed her hair black and her eyes were so blue and so bright that Jason nearly lost all the breath in his body. She was just so tiny, so young and vulnerable and she reminded him too much of his mother.
She said her name was Corpse, rather crude as Jason would point out, so he called her Angel but he wasn't sure what to call her now.
Strapped into a hospital bed, the girl was sleeping off the effects of several powerful hallucinogens. Jason had found her twitching in a dark alley, a tall man posed over her body and unbuckling his belt as she writhed and gasped.
Long story short: only two people left that alleyway.
And by all accounts, she should've died, she had taken several different drugs at once and Jason hadn't the chance to ask her why. Mixed with alcohol and the trauma of a near assault...
The girl opened her eyes, noticing that Jason was holding one of her hands in his. He smiled at her, red mask sitting on the floor in between his feet, only the black domino mask shielded his identity.
"You're here."
"Surprised?" Jason smiled when she nodded. "Don't worry, I'm here for you, Angel."
Number 118: Rules
Jason is not allowed to stay up past ten
Jason is not allowed in the kitchen
Jason is not allowed to use knives, you know why, you rascal
Jason should not answer the door when there are Mormons
Jason shouldn't open the door, period
Jason should not phone Superman to give Bruce a "good time"
Jason should not hang Tim on a tree by his underwear
Jason is banned from street fights
Jason shall not injure suspects or break their collar bones
Jason should not punch, kick, bite, scratch, or burn anyone
Jason is not allowed to pick Bruce's dates
No prostitutes in the manor
Jason should not kick Dick in the…well, dick
Jason isn't allowed to play with his guns
Jason will not use the dog for target practice regardless if the dog's name is Target
Number 119: Screw the Rules…
"…I'm Jason Todd, the fucking Red Hood, bitch!"
"Jason, you're not black."
Number 120: Don't Feed Jason…
Sugar, coffee, or ice cream…Or mixture of all three before a patrol. It proves to be more frightening than Batman in a bad mood, trust me.
Bonus! Headache
"Jason, get down here!"
"What?" the rebellious teenage peered over the staircase and stared at Dick as he gestured for his brother to come down. Jason rolled his eyes and jogged down the stairs, spinning around Damian as the boy chased after Target and Ace, Bruce's frightfully large Great Dane's. Tim was sitting beside Bruce with a expression that read "why this?". Jason raised an eyebrow and Dick smiled, locking an arm around Jason's neck and rubbing his fist into the former redhead's scalp.
"A present from Chaseha-Wing."
"Who the Hell is that?"
"Beats me but this suddenly appeared at our door adressed to you."
Dick released Jason and the green-eyed youth walked over to the package and poked it, he felt a distinct plate-shaped object and Jason immediately thought of a castle of plates just like the one he and Dick built when they were fifteen and nineteen respectfully, Tim had crashed into the castle and Alfred had to go out to replace about a hundred dishes along with bandages. Jason's arms were scared, Dick has a wicked gash across his face, and poor Tim was bleeding from the face, shoulders, back, and legs; Bruce thought the trio had killed someone.
Jason shrugged his shoulders and ripped the wrapping paper a part, a loug groan came from Bruce and then Jason shouted in glee-
"A drum set! Yes!" Jason turned around and gave Dick a high five. "Get your guitar, Dickie, it's time to rock!"
Tim pulled out a pair of earplugs, stuffed them into his ears, then passed a set to Bruce, Damian was safely locked in his room with the dogs as the pair began singing, Ace and Target started to whimper and Damian growled.
"Brillant idea."
