Acceptance
The black abyss that had carried Toph away from the battlefield hadn't left her alone. She recalled the lightning, Azula's awful laughter, and then helping Zuko take his sister down as her final move…she had proved herself, without having to ruin Zuko's chance at the throne, after all.
For a while, she'd been afraid she wouldn't be able to handle the wait. She had just been so close to just taking matters into her own hands, but these were rules that could not be broken that easily. Anything like that would dishonor Zuko's position on the throne. It was his destiny to win the match that he fought against his sister…who would she have been to ruin it for him?
She'd been incredibly still for three days, and on the third night, though Toph didn't stir from her position, she was a little more alert to what was going on than her consciousness had allowed her the previous few days.
Sokka's voice broke the silence. "Do you think she's gonna make it?"
"Of course she's gonna make it! She's still breathing, isn't she?" Katara broke in, her voice fussed and angry. Toph still hadn't done anything to show that she was awake, though her fingertips twitched toward the mattress beneath her. Unfortunately, that didn't mean anything, but that didn't stop Aang from jumping from his chair, to his feet, pointing to Toph's hand.
"Look, her hand moved!" Despite her urge to keep quiet, just a little longer, she lifted her knuckles to rub her eyes and sat up, lips parting as she winced in pain, reaching for her shoulder that had been badly burned.
"What did she do to me?" Toph asked, her eyes appearing rather hollow as her hair fell over them, head tilted towards her lap.
Regardless, she felt the weights hit her, one by one. Katara, Sokka, Aang, Suki…it was the entire gang—well, all but one, pulling Toph into a giant embrace. Toph cringed, her entire body tensing.
"Uh, a little wounded here!" She whimpered, and immediately, the rest of them moved back.
Sokka rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry…" He started, absently wearing a grin that lit up his entire face. "We're all pretty glad to see you're alright. It was pretty scary, you know!"
"Why? You all knew I'd be fine!" Toph backfired quickly, and Katara and Suki helped her sit up, resting her back against the headrest of the bed.
"No, we didn't." Zuko's voice made Toph's head tilt up, and instantly, while she wanted to furrow her brows in frustration, she found herself blushing, instead. He'd seen her get struck down, practically get torn apart by Azula's lightning, but soon after, he'd also witnessed her assisting him in an all-too-successful mission.
"Oh, yeah, Zuko here's been panicking the entire time!" Suki chimed in, a smile on her relieved expression. She hadn't worn her make up in quite some time; and while at one point it seemed strange to see her without it, the situation had almost completely reversed.
"What?" Toph arched a brow, a skeptic's look on her face.
Zuko, the guy who had easily become one of the most troublesome people she'd ever met, was worried? It was tough to even imagine such a thing when it'd been such a long time that they'd spent at each other's throats. Maybe it hadn't made sense before, but now that she thought about it, the pieces sort of came together in a wishy-washy way. Whatever it was that had drawn her to him had apparently drawn him to her, too.
It was just incredibly difficult for her to comprehend that Zuko even being remotely cautious for her safety, aside from in a platonic way. After all, that had been nearly impossible just a few weeks before then.
"She's right!" confirmed Katara, her arms folded neatly across her chest. Aang leaned against his staff, a goofy grin from cheek to cheek as he looked at Zuko. Though Zuko's look of fury stopped Aang in his tracks, Katara went on. "He probably would've called every doctor in the Fire Nation if you hadn't woken up in time!"
Oh.
That was where he'd been? He'd been away, looking for ways to make her wake up? She didn't think it'd been that big of a deal, as while the pain was incredible, it simply wasn't enough to bring her spirits down. Not yet, anyways—then again, she'd only been fully conscious for a few minutes. It was way too early to distinguish whether or not she would be mentally okay, after the burn on her shoulder had really settled in.
"What?" Zuko grumbled, glancing back towards the door in consideration before going on. "It was Azula, what was I supposed to think, that she'd be fine?" His lips formed into something of a pout of dissent. Toph cleared her throat.
"Um, I'm right here!" She waved her healthy hand in front of her, and Zuko's expression hardened before her. Though she couldn't see it, she could feel the way his feet pressed harder into the ground. While everyone else had been standing beside her bed, Zuko was still rather close to the door, his arms at his sides as if he was waiting for something.
Catching this, Sokka shot a quick glance over at Aang, who almost immediately bobbed his head.
"Well…I'd better go. Avatar duties!"
"What do you—?" Toph was confused by the quick disturbance; counting Aang's steps back as Sokka quickly jumped in, afterwards.
"Uh, me too! I'm… gonna go keep looking around for Space Sword. Come on, Suki." Sokka gestured to the door with a jerk of his head, and Suki blinked in response.
"Okay! I'll see you later, Toph! Feel better soon!" The Kyoshi warrior hurried after her boyfriend, and that was when Katara leaned forward, a gentle smile on her face.
Careful not to touch Toph's injured arm, she pulled the smaller girl into a hug, closing her eyes as she rested her chin on Toph's good shoulder. "I'm really glad you're okay."
Toph wrapped her good arm around Katara in return, closing her eyes and smiling. "Thanks, Sweetness." Softly nudging Katara away from her, Toph let her hand linger on Katara's arm until the waterbender took a step back. "But you don't have to worry so much, next time. I think Candlestick here has got me covered."
Zuko rolled his eyes at the nickname, shutting the door as Katara exited. They were pretty deep in the palace, all alone in a large, red room. Toph gulped. Somehow, they always wound up like this. Just like this…just the two of them.
Playing it cool would be far more difficult while her entire right shoulder, as well as her arm was throbbing beyond anything she could completely control. Zuko approached her sort of hesitantly, like he didn't want to look at her. Was her hair a mess? Was she covered in dirt from the battle? She could feel that she was wearing the same clothes she had been previously, but when she'd felt for her arm a few moments ago, the entire sleeve of her right arm had been ripped.
That was probably because of the lightning.
Toph reached over her stomach with one of her hands, blinking as she trailed the cloth until it stopped at the hem of the sleeve. No luck with that one, apparently.
Zuko watched her in a brief state of confusion as she felt around her shirt, his eyes thinning at the thought of what she'd done. She'd been hurt, and he hadn't done anything to stop Azula. Sure, he'd tried, but he hadn't timed his lunge correctly, and the lightning was too perfectly aimed. Toph was so badly hurt, yet still, she'd gotten back on her feet, trapping Azula right before his own sister did away with him.
"So…" Toph drawled, and Zuko's eyes dilated when he got close enough. Right at the side of the bed she'd been resting in, his palm pressed to the blanket as he leaned forward in unbearable regret.
"How could you be so stupid? To think you could take a hit like that and get up? What if she'd struck you again? What if you hadn't been fast enough? Then what?" His questions came one after another, his heart racing uncontrollably as the heat rose to his head. "To think you were in total control and that this would all be alright? It's like when you first challenged me—just thought everything would be totally fine! It wasn't just fire we were talking about this time! This was Azula, Toph! Lightning!"
Toph frowned, turning away from him, as he'd been uncomfortably close as he shouted at her. She would've crossed her arms, had one of them not been in so much pain. She was so sore, so exhausted, and she didn't want to deal with any of it. He could see it in her face—her exhaustion had worn dark bruises beneath her rather cold eyes.
"Could you just quit it…for once? I'm okay, so stop freaking out. You were the one that started crying." She complained, and immediately, Zuko's hands clenched tightly into fists. Of course she remembered that he'd cried. Spirits, he sure had the worst luck for an up and coming Fire Lord.
The wound up hand on the bed retreated back to his side, coming out from a fist as he relaxed, his expression softening. The burn on her shoulder was bandaged quite well—the work of a professional, as the makeshift bandages that Suki had brought along didn't hold for too long. The moment that they all returned to one safe place, Toph was given immediate care.
Zuko swallowed, hard. "Why did you even agree to fight alongside me in the first place? Look where it got you. And I'd been so stupid…" He trailed off, and he watched her expression go from confused to impatient.
"Why do you even care?" She interrogated, a brow raised firmly as if she wasn't about to budge on the question.
Zuko had thought it once, and he would wind up thinking it a thousand more times. Toph was the most difficult girl he'd ever met, and sustaining a calm temper around her was like asking him to cool down in a room filled with hot rocks.
"Because I was the one that saw you almost get yourself killed!"
Toph scowled. "Do I look dead to you?" Her feet tensed up, toes curling in as she glared the best she could in his direction. "Why. Do. You. Care?" She'd repeated her question with a little more emphasis that time, and he knew she wasn't about to stop at just any answer.
"Because!" The only one he could come up with was blatant, and indescribable. He didn't know why he was so angry about what she'd done when it'd saved his life. As a matter of fact, he was completely aware that he should have been grateful. However, for the life of him, he was angrier than anything.
Toph, as usual, didn't budge. "Because what?" She snapped back, her temper hardly seeming disturbed or even bothered in the slightest by her injury. Toph was still just like herself—unlike him, when he'd first gotten burned.
Of course, that was very different. While they may have been around the same age when they'd acquired the burns, as he'd gotten his own years ago, his had been from his father…hers had come from an enemy. Zuko hadn't seen it after Katara had tried working with the lightning wound, but his first glimpse of it had been rather awful.
Azula had gotten Toph to the best of her ability—his sister had certainly dealt enough damage to leave a scar on the earthbender's shoulder similar to that of the one on his face. While Toph was blind, and would never have to look at the memory, surely she would feel the difference in the skin, and anyone that her shoulder was revealed to would see.
She was damaged.
He was damaged, too.
"I can't explain it!" He started, lifting one hand to cover his scarred eye, looking down at the floor, but her head tilted as she felt his movements. He was no more than a foot away from her, to the left of her, right beside her functioning arm and shoulder.
Toph stifled the majority of the incoming smirk on her face—mimicking the same line he'd used on her the night that they'd watched the Ember Island Players. "Try."
The memory of the night on the pier made his eyes widen in astonishment. Quite frankly, they hadn't been the words, or well, word, he'd expected, but it definitely functioned as its own. She'd kissed his cheek that night—explained her feelings with an action rather than a few words. Putting one foot forward, he leaned closer to her—a good look at her face more than enough to make his breath catch in his throat.
This was Toph Beifong; the girl that he'd never thought of as someone that could be even anywhere near emotionally agreeable, so vulnerable. It was completely different than when they fought, even when she'd been hit with lightning. This was a different Toph; this was a Toph that Zuko felt that only he had seen. It was a girl that he wanted for his eyes only. If she'd put up a shield, it certainly was melting away…likely because he was a firebender, and that was exactly what firebenders did. Her defense mechanism hadn't shattered as it might have, had they done things different. He'd peeled it away with the smoldering heat. The moment Zuko took her chin in his thumb and his pointer finger and tilted it towards him, he found his eyes glued to her mouth as she wet it with her tongue.
It wasn't long before he did it…found her lips with his own.
It'd certainly caught her off of her guard, and her eyes snapped open as if she could catch sight of what happening, but she shut them as her lips found their place against his. They came together with plentiful feelings that mirrored relief, and frustration, all at the same time. Their long waits, entrusted by destiny and the devastation of bloodshed, had passed them by.
Toph's free hand moved slowly up to his chest, doing the most with what she could to keep him close, but the chaste kiss didn't last very long. He was the one to pull back first, and her cheeks were bright pink, much like his own.
Zuko thought he had the upper hand of hiding his blush, but Toph could feel his racing heart, and it made her smile rather generously.
"Looks like you've got a way with words." Remarked Toph, a snide turn to her voice as Zuko turned away from her.
"I was stupid to wait so long." He began, furrowing his brows as he sat beside her. "Something could've happened to you, but I was so concerned with everything around me that I didn't even think about…"
What was he doing? Hadn't this same girl just been screaming at him to tell him how he felt? For some time, all he could think about was saying whatever he could to get her off of his back. When he wasn't trying to escape her, though, he'd been trying to figure her out…but now he knew.
He knew how she felt, and now she knew how he felt, too.
Once he was close enough, she punched him lightly in the arm. "Would you quit whining about everything?" Toph spluttered, already having known that he would go off into the negative, even when something so good had finally happened. "It's giving me a headache."
Even though he'd been the blind one when it came to her feelings for quite some time, Zuko knew that his own had always been there…they were just hidden behind clouds of their clashing personalities, the stress surrounding them, all of the lives that were in danger by a conflict that was in the hands of a bunch of teenagers that had come into an age that should not have been their own.
"You're probably giving yourself a headache with this huge thing on your head. Why don't you take it off?"
Toph arched a brow, not looking very amused by his inquiry. "You sure you wanna see what's under there?"
It was then that he realized that he really hadn't seen all of her hair down—aside from the one time that he'd seen it, in a dream, and he gave her a look of disbelief.
"It can't be that bad. Besides, you haven't even seen it!"
Toph's expression matched that of a shrug of the face. "Katara's head just about rolled off back in Ba Sing Se. But don't say I didn't warn you." She declared briefly, reaching up for a clip near her bun, releasing the band so all her thick, dark hair fell down her shoulders and into her face.
It was much like the hair in his dream—but it was ratted, a mess from having fought, from tossing and turning in her sleep, much more of a mess, but it certainly wasn't awful. It was just so…Toph, so completely her that he composed a genuine smile.
Zuko considered a few words to describe it—but the one he finally landed on was probably 'cute'. That was pretty much the most precise he could get when it came down to Toph. Her looks, her temper the way she'd kissed him, and her messy hair, too. She was…cute, and it was a shame that she had no idea what it was that she looked like.
"Well?" Toph budged, uncomfortably. "Why aren't you laughing? Isn't it a mess?" She lifted her free hand up to her head, doing her best to smooth some of it out. It wasn't until after she'd mentioned it that he chuckled smoothly.
"It's…kind of cute." The words were strange coming out of his mouth, and Toph punched him again, her cheeks flushing pink. Her eyes lowered, her long dark lashes exposed to him as she faced her lap.
"Don't push your luck." She mumbled a little, wishing she could fiddle with both of her hands instead of sitting there and looking stupid.
Zuko quickly apologized, scratching the back of his neck. "Right, sorry."
It was a slow, creeping feeling: affection. It was hitting Zuko like a haze that came beneath an unseen current, and the more he thought about it, the more it made his heart race. He was an idiot for not seeing it coming.
He'd had a dream about her, for crying out loud. How had he not known that she'd been important? Naturally, the world spinning around them had been enough to blind him with thoughts of everything but the right opportunities.
She'd been quiet until she thought about what would happen the day after the one they were currently living in, her eyes widening as she tilted her head up, again. "Oh, no." Toph bit her lip, and Zuko tilted his head.
"What is it?"
"My parents."
Oh, Spirits. How had he not thought of her parents before? The first time they'd met, she'd explained the whole situation—running away with the Avatar, escaping the fate that had been promised to her ever since she was a child now definitely stood in the way of what had happened between them.
"What are you going to do?" His question was quiet, as he hardly wanted to push anything on her, especially not in this condition. The last thing Zuko wanted to do was sound desperate—when not even he was sure what he wanted. He liked her, yes. He liked Toph more than a friend…he thought Toph was pretty, and she made him feel like he was something to be saved.
In a way, Toph made him feel more important than he'd ever known how to feel. That was strange all on it's own, and Zuko wasn't sure how he would take losing that feeling. He was going to be Fire Lord, though...without that 'earthly' reassurance, what would he do?
"I can't go back to them with this." She gestured toward her damaged shoulder with her head, her eyes drooping sadly. Toph was at a loss—asking Zuko if she could stay there for a bit longer would've been impossible had this been a week or so ago.
But he looked at her differently…and he hadn't laughed at her hair.
Toph wasn't quite sure if all of that made it easier, or harder for her to ask. She went for it, anyways. "I just can't…but where else do I go? What do I do?" She mused aloud, the questions more to herself than to Zuko.
"You could always just… stay here for a little while longer." Toph immediately glanced up at him, her lips curling up to Zuko's suggestion.
"Really?"
Her excitement had rubbed off on him. Maybe he wouldn't have such a lonely first year of ruling the Fire Nation—maybe this wouldn't be as bad as he thought it would. "I don't see why not. I am Fire Lord." He crossed his arms, a grin on his enticing lips.
"Oh yeah, you gonna challenge any other little earthbenders that try to take you on?" Toph teased, and Zuko shrugged absentmindedly.
He chuckled soon after. "I might pin a few of them to a tree or two."
"Oh, now look who thinks he's funny!" She jabbed at him again, and he groaned. Zuko was beginning to think that a permanent bruise would form there. "Better get used to those."
"Why? I didn't do anything," He started, but she closed her eyes in her own assurance.
"Oh, sure you didn't, Candlestick. Remember?" She opened, and closed her fist. His eyes were cautious as he took a quick glance to her hand, then her face again.
"Remember what?"
His honest curiosity was enough to make Toph's cheeks blush slightly pink. "That's how I show affection."
It was then that Zuko briefly realized that he would need to find a signature way to show his own affections. Maybe it was going to take some time, but so long as Toph was around, maybe he could get around the difficult parts and find his own.
Of course, when his silence was enough for her to throw another jab at him with her free hand, he caught his hand in her palm, and she complied, opening her hand and holding it up to his.
Perhaps, earth and fire weren't so different after all.
For some reason, the moon always gave Suki the chills. Even while she knew that things had been constant between her and Sokka the moment that he'd found her at the Boiling Rock, but there was always something that made her uneasy. It'd been solid for some time, but as she leaned over the balcony, the light of the darkened sky hollowing her insides and causing her stomach to flip.
It was the uneasy voice of her boyfriend that made her hop to the tips of her toes; turning around rather nervously to face him, folding her hands behind her back. While maybe it wasn't something she didn't need to worry about, it was sort of strange to think that Sokka's old girlfriend…well, probably Sokka's first girlfriend, had become the moon spirit.
If she had, really, then what did that make Suki?
"What're you doing…" Sokka rubbed one of his eyes with his knuckles, blinking sleepily as he yawned soon after. "Up so late? Zuko's coronation is in just a few hours. You ought to be getting some rest." He insisted, and Suki shot him a look of unintentional concern.
In a short attempt to relax her body, the Kyoshi warrior sighed. Quite frankly, she didn't enjoy feeling like her competition was the unbelievable beauty of the moon when she was nothing more than a girl. Who's to say that Sokka's first girlfriend hadn't been some kind of princess, anyways?
Suki quickly realized that even while Sokka talked a whole lot more than he should have—Suki didn't know much about him, at all.
"Sokka?" Her voice was rather soft as she turned away from him, her eyes carefully pressed to the stars, instead of the moon. The worry would probably overwhelm her, if she let it.
Resting his hand down at his side, Sokka tilted his head in honest confusion. "Huh? What is it, Suki?"
It wasn't exactly like they were completely official. Were they? It wasn't like Sokka had made it obvious that he was in love with her, or anything. He'd seemed pretty anxious when they'd been jumping from airship to airship on the day of Sozin's Comet, but that didn't mean that he was in love with her. They'd known each other for a long time…the majority of his journey, actually.
Kyoshi Island had been one of the first places the Avatar, and Sokka, too, had visited. Suki's home had come to be a place of remembrance for the two of them. While even she knew there was no point in being worried, or concerned for their relationship, she couldn't help the troubling feeling in her stomach.
Folding her arms on the balcony's railing, she pointed her toes to the ground, the back of one foot leaning forward. "Oh, it's nothing!" She did her best to reassure him, the light smooth on her face.
"Come on, Suki. I know that look." He nudged her verbally, their arms grazing when he leaned against her, pressing his weight to the balcony as well. It wasn't until a few moments of silence had struck him that his eyes widened, finding the moon and his look of confusion disassembled.
"Oh."
Sokka sighed, his eyes falling on Suki's hand as he took it in his own. "She was beautiful," He began, earning a slightly piqued look. "But Yue would've wanted me to be happy."
Blinking, and glancing up to the moon, Suki's face soothed. "Yue, huh? She must've been beautiful if she turned into the spirit of the moon." Giving Sokka's hand a light squeeze, Suki finally gave way to a tiny smile. "I bet she was strong, too. For her people." Glancing over to him rather than the sky, Suki's eyes held the gleam of the moonlit night—as though this realization had bonded her with the moon itself. "I can relate."
"She was," Sokka nodded, planting a quick kiss on her lips. "And so are you."
They embraced for a moment before she looked down at their hands; her cheeks turning slightly pink. "Thank you…" She trailed off before she looked back to the palace doors. "Maybe we both ought to get some more sleep. Crowning of the new Fire Lord and all…"
Sokka scratched the back of his head, nodding soon after. "Right, right! Big deal, Fire Lord, Zuko stuff…kind of still hard to believe. But yeah, let's get back inside."
While nothing had really changed between the two of them aside from a small assurance and a brief acknowledgment—there was certainly a pacified glow that emitted from the moon's harsh light. Of course, the light of the moon had never been bitter…only distinct, and it had just taken the two of them a while to realize it.
AN: Whoa, that's a whole lotta fluff for someone like me to be writing.
Originally the Suki/Sokka part wasn't even going to be a part of this chapter. But I got the idea for a oneshot but I got lazy so I was like hahahaha oh wait I'm writing a fic lemme put this shit here.
Anyway! Some hectic things happened last night, but evidently my priorities are right in my fic because I wrote the beginning of chapter 10 with no internet when I was in miserable heat. In any case, I'd like to thank everyone's reviews and subscriptions, all of this has really encouraged me and I've finally come to terms with a full plot for Hazy!
And the ending, too. Whoa. Didn't think that would happen any time soon.
Anyhow, hopefully it'll be very long, very worth the read, and I hope you go on to enjoy, read, review, do whatever!
There's nothing I appreciate more than some good ol' feedback. :)
I'm starting to get ... just, really like.. I DON'T KNOW. I love Toko way too much than I should. I can't wait to get them more accustomed to one another. :( Again, though, it'll take lots of time! I like making things as realistic as possible. Well, you know. Keeping characters ... in character. The like.
Thanks so much for everything, you guys! Your encouragement means the world to me! :)
Chapter 10 is next! I might do something special for our anniversary. Is 10 even worth documenting?
Too bad, I'll do it anyways. Kisses for everyone still enjoying the read! And lots of creys for beautiful Princess Yue, whom my heart goes out to.
