The beginning of this has been on my jump drive for MONTHS. I was gonna do it as a long, long one-shot so it wouldn't be like the never-ending B's & D's story arc. But here it is.

Ladies and Gents, may I present

Why Rogue and Wade are not allowed in WolfChase Mall

"Why do I have to be here?" Wade whined from where he was slouched in a chair as fifteen year old Rogue tried on clothes in a store the Wolf Chase Mall in Memphis, Tennessee.

"Because you ruined my other clothes," she told him from the behind the changing room door.

"Not all of them," he whined.

"If I messed up any of your weapons, you'd make me come with you to get more."

"I wouldn't take you. You'd enjoy it. I don't enjoy this at all. You're just spiteful."

"And you're not?"

"Not the point. But hey, at least you come by it honest," he shrugged.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you get it from your mom. That's her in you. We need to beat her out."

"Try it and I'll beat you back," she walked out of the changing room to show him her top. "What do ya think?"

Wade's eye twitched.

"What. Are. You. Wearing?"

"It's called a bustier."

A black leather one with with scrolling white designs on the sides. It stopped just below mid-riff and tied in the back with some black ribbon.

"You can't wear that! You're fifteen. And my niece. Just what, young lady, are you trying to boost? A de-booster is what you need. Who are you boosting them for? Give me his name and social security number and he is out of here."

"Would you chill? I'm gonna have a shirt under it."

"It still boosts! You're completley missing the point."

"And you're overreacting."

"No, I'm not! Now get back in there and put some clothes on!"

Rogue sighed and rolled her eyes, retreating into the room.

"And don't you think I'm buying that!"

Rogue expelled a loud, long-suffering sigh before she re-emerged in her own clothes. She dumped the clothes in his lap and tol him,

"Come on. I'm gonna go look at the shoes."

"I didn't do anything to your freaking shoes!"

"Oh, well," she shrugged and walked off, expecting Wade to follow if for no other reason than to 'protect her from boys'. He noticed that the 'booster' was tucked in between the clothes, picked it out, and handed to a blond lady that was going into one of the changing rooms.

"Boost away," he said and was able to get away before it fully sunk in what he said and what he was referring to.

He moved the clothes in his arms to his left and sorted through the rest as he trailed behind Rogue. The more he looked, an idea formed in his mind, a thought that had to be verbally expressed.

"Who buys this JUNK anyway?"

After checking out, Rogue decided she didn't like most of the clothes she tried on and got a jacket that she just picked up, a pair of gloves and one shirt.

"Finally! We were in there for hours. Can we leave now?"

"Not yet. We only went to one store and I still need stuff."

"Aw, come on!" he threw his arms up in the air. "Why do I allow her to do these things to me?" he asked himself.

He crossed his arms and followed next to her pouting. Rogue glanced up at him and felt a little sorry for him.

"How 'bout we go get somethin' to eat?" she asked.

"Do they have chimichangas?" he asked hopefully.

"Yep. I checked their website before we came here."

"Well, let's go!" he grabbed Rogue's hand and pulled her with him as he ran through the crowded mall.

They made it to the food court in short order and Wade skidded to a stop in the line for the Mexican restaurant. It was so noisy Rogue practically had to yell in Wade's ear to tell him she was going to Starbuck's. Wade waved her away and started bouncing up and down on his feet.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon. Come ON!"

An older lady in line turned around and looked at him.

"Boo! Can I have my face back?" he snapped. "Rude."

Her eyes widened and she walked away out of the line. Wade quickly took her spot. And then at long last, he was at the front of the line. He ordered five chimichangas and large nachos, had the employee mix Mountain Dew with the fruit juice, and took his tray to the table Rogue had gotten right in front of the restaurant. She had a large coffee concoction and had eaten most of her obscenely large cinnamon roll.

"I have to go to the bathroom. Watch my bag," she told him as she stood up.

"Yeah, bag. Singular. One. Uno."

He quickly quit his grumbling and began stuffing his face like a man who hadn't eaten in days. He actually hadn't. He had been conducting a sort of experiment on himself in order to see if – well, that doesn't matter. Realizing on his fourth chimichanga that he was low on soda/juice, he went to go get a re-fill.

"What do you mean, no refills?"

"The sign says right there, sir," the employee pointed to said sign. "We can't give you a refill, but you can order another drink if you get in line."

"I don't want another drink; I want a refill of the drink I already paid for. What's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem, sir. We're not allowed to give re-fills."

"Yo no comprendo your stupid!" Wade left the cup on the counter and stomped back to his table.

"Stupid, conglomerate, big-company, high-minded, stingy jerk-wad people! Darn those businessmen and their accursed money-scrounging ways!" Wade shook his fist in the air and crossed his arms over his chest. "And then he died from dehydration."

As he considered the other restaurants and tried to think which one would give him re-fills, he noticed Rogue's drink that she'd left behind. He picked it up; it was still half-full.

"Or half-empty, depending on your personal view of life."

He didn't usually drink coffee. Natural (genetically engineered) high and all that. But it was liquidy and he was thirsty and that other place was all the way over there. So he drank it.

When Rogue came back to the table, Wade was sitting very still with a very creepy smile on his face.

"Wade, what are you –"

"I-had-coffee-!"

"You – what?"

"I…had…coffee! Ha!"

"What? Why? How much?"

"I-had-coffee! They-don't-give-refills! Five! I-had-five! Vente! Did-you-know-vente-means-twenty? Twenty ounces! Yeah, baby!"

"Oh, no. Wade, come on. We need to go."

"Go? Okay!"

He shot up, turned an about face, and broke out in a dead-run away from her. Within seconds, she'd lost sight of him. Rogue stared dumbly after him, still in shock. She sank into a chair.

"Oh. Crap."


/chainletters/101-fun-things-to-do-at-walmart/

A/N: The 'Why' will be seen next chapter. "Oh, when are you posting the next chapter?" 'What?' "When are you po-" 'WHAT?' "Whe-" 'WHATCHA SAY!' Do NOT ask me when. It is not summer and now I have stuff to do so just do NOT ask when. do NOT!

thank you.

I didn't want to use any actual store names because they aren't paying me to give them advertising. Plus, I don't really remember what they're called. Oh, I haven't been shopping so, so long. It's not fun to go if you have two dollars, y'know?

I don't know if Wade would actually act that way on coffee. It might not even affect him since he has a healing factor and the caffeine is a drug. For the sake of the story, though it does.

Man, I wish I could draw some of these. I picture them in my head, like with Wade running through the mall and Rogue chasing after him and he has a Tasmanian devil thing going on.