Trigger Alert; Contains Ideas of suicidal thoughts, may contain self harm, suicidal actions or notes, and more.
Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT, the characters, or the thumbnails, solely just the OC's like Jackie.
*EQ stands for Emotional Quotient, basically IQ but for people with high Emotional Intelligence
Chapter 9 - Unspoken
Mikey's eyes were wide as Leo finished telling Mikey how they lost their mother. Nearly all the boys were in tears as they remembered.
"She... She died because of me?"
His brothers' eyes widen as he said that. Mikey's eyes were wide and filled with stubborn and guilty tears. Raph decided he needed to send the message directly to Mikey.
Grabbing Mikey's shoulders roughly, he said to Mikey in a harsh tone, low and growling.
"Listen and listen good ya idiot! NO ONE blames ya! NO ONE! We love ya, Mom did too. It wasn't your fault; it was the asshole that ran the red light!" He finished with his slapping his younger brother in the back of his head.
"Ow..."
"Is that clear Mike? Raph's right ya know; no one blames you. In fact, even the court agreed that it was the jerk's fault." Don said softly.
Mikey attempted smiling, only for it to fall. Leo hugged Mikey close whispering something to him.
"Sure..." Without the twins knowing what the eldest and youngest were discussing, the two other brothers left, Mikey shuffling behind Leo nervously. The twins looked at each other before Raph gave Don a playful noogie.
"Somethin' bothering ya? Ya looked distant." He said looking at him concerned when Don's face fell after Mikey and Leo left.
"No."
"Don..."
"I'm fine, really."
Raph glared at Don; he knew this'd make Don confess.
"Alright.. I-um-I-uh..."
"Don!"
"I-I just hate seeing Mikey upset! He looked so down and he thought he cause Mom's death when it was my fault!"
Silence fell between the two brothers. Raph frowned as he studied Don's face. He had upset and frustrated tears on the corners of his eyes that were about to slip out, but Don being Don wouldn't let them.
Realizing he'd have to play older brother in this, he wrapped strong biceps around Don; which Don happily fell into, crying softly.
"It ain't yer fault now Don." He murmured so only his brother could hear.
"Yes, yes it is! I should've been watching him! If he didn't hurt himself, we could've never had to have gone to the hospital. Mom wouldn't have been in the car accident!"
Raph's eyes softened. His little brother could be so wrong sometimes.
"And we were supposed ta be watchin' ya, as well as Mikey. Heck, I'm the one who started the fight! It ain't yer fault. Alright?"
"Yeah."
Mikey walked oddly next to Leo who was leading him into the backyard, Leo carrying the old tattered football they've had since Leo was an only child. All the boys enjoyed football ever since Leo had been playing the sport starting back in grade school. Leo took home what he knew to his twin brothers; from there it was a monkey in the middle thing or just random football with the twins both taking on their big brother. Don was usually in the middle more times than not, but it'd always turn into tackling and play fighting and just goofing around period. When Mikey came along they begun to have real 2v2 games; which all the boys loved. It was something other than training and sparring that they made their own competitive challenges into. They loved just running and roughhousing together, that's what made football, sparring, and ninja training so fun for the four boys.
Another thing about football was it was a way the boys knew had to cheer up each other; as well as get information out about how the other is feeling. The great amount of nostalgia that would come with each throw and tackle brought back memories time and time again; causing all the boys to become more open and happy than usual.
"So," Leo began as he and Mikey made distance and Leo throw the ball in a perfect spiral. Mikey caught it with ease, jumping in the air in a way that almost seemed impossible. Ninja training – acrobatics specifically – made Mikey a pro at agility.
"Mind telling me why you're acting like everything is your fault? You know, it hurts me and The Things when you're upset."
The Things was what Leo and Mikey playfully dubbed Raph and Don. Thing One and Thing Two was an old childhood nickname.
"I know." He said softly and seemingly distantly as he threw the ball back to Leo, just as perfectly.
"So you're gonna stop making us feel bad, right? You know we'd never blame you?"
"Yeah..." Mikey caught the ball a third time. He slumped down on the grass and Leo walked over to him and plopped down next to him. Mikey had one knee to his chest and the other leg stretched forward, Leo wrapped an arm around Mikey's shoulders and pulled him in. Mikey was slightly leaning against Leo's chest and Leo had his arms around Mikey's shoulders from behind. Leo laid back taking his baby brother with him; Mikey laying on his chest and shifting a little to get comfy. They sat there for a minute, taking in one another's breathing.
"I'm sorry for being dramatic." He said sniffling.
"Well, you wouldn't be our Mikey if you weren't." He said smirking well naturally at the – now night – sky that seemed to glow just for the brothers.
Splinter was looking everywhere for his sons. He'd found his set of twins in the living room; Raphael was currently roughhousing with Donatello, obviously winning the fight due to the fact Raphael was a muscle pile driver compared to the younger twin's skinny and lengthy physique. He'd grown worried for his other two when he finally looked in the place he'd known deep in his heart they'd go if one was down.
Taking in the crisp air, he caught a simple and sweet moment; Michelangelo and Leonardo asleep in one another's arms. Both laying in the soft, green grass; Leonardo's arms were draped around the youngest son as if protecting the baby of their small family from the horrors in the world.
Sighing softly, he smiled. He didn't want to move them, but he didn't want them sick either. Going inside he told his set of twins and once the two were out there seeing the moment, they couldn't help but smile and take a few 'family' photos. Splinter knew Raphael wanted blackmail but couldn't help but let it happen. Maybe in time, they'd prove useful.
"Look Don!" Raphael said with a smug smirk, "Looks like Leo sorted the goofball out, huh?"
"Yeah Raph, they both look sorted." Donatello said softly as ever observant. He knew as well as Splinter that Leonardo needed less stress. And with Michelangelo needed more comfort after the events of the day, this was important and vital for the eldest and youngest Hamatos.
Slowly but swiftly, Leonardo was in Raphael's arms whilst Donatello had Michelangelo in his.
"You sure ya don't wanna switch or anythin'? I ain't complain', just pointin' out ya might like 'im betta. Ya know?"
"Sure Raph."
"Hey! Fearless is heavy as fu-"
"Raphael!"
"Sorry Sensei."
Both boys carried their brothers into their designated rooms. Leo was placed in his simple clean room whilst Mikey was placed in his crazy, disorganized room. Don briefly wondered how Mikey could navigate the place, even with lights on.
Raph slowly pulled the covers over his only big brother. Looking down at Leo's clean face and closed sapphire eyes, he felt a twang of care. This is one of the rare times his older brother didn't look so old. If Leo wasn't stressed or trying to grow up too fast, he was playing big brother; he never got rest, always got the cold water because all his little brothers used the hot water first, he ate less when they couldn't on occasion didn't have enough food and he saw one of his brothers hungry, he even took care of things that Splinter couldn't like calling places for repair services. Seeing his older brother who he secretively admired and respected looking so vulnerable and at ease made Raph bent down and hug his big brother in an awkward fashion. Raph embraced any moment in an embrace with his big brother but because of his tough persona and the fact he still held jealousy towards Leo, he never had got over his inflated ego to ask for hugs or reassurance. He quickly left but not before hearing the faintest, "Love you too."
"Love ya too bro." He said leaving quickly, his face flushed from embarrassment.
Don placed Mikey down and struggled momentarily with the covers and getting his only little brother under them. He tucked him in much like a child before kissing him on the forehead. He wasn't afraid to show he cared about his brothers. Mikey was his world. He loved his entire family equally; it was just that Mikey held a place. As his only little brother, it was evitable for him to be spoiled by Don no matter what. Then again, he held that place for everyone and Don meant everyone. He was the baby – everyone spoiled Mikey. At a certain thought that wondered into his mind, his calmness and bliss vanished.
He looked at his freckles and blonde hair. Sometimes he saw Raph; in the rare times Mikey got angry – which he can only recall a mere time of twice – He looked like Raph. With his blonde hair and how dangerous an angry Mikey was, his explosive and silent anger mixed with his features could swallow Raph's anger in a instant; maybe because it was such a rare thing to see him truly enraged. Sure he got annoyed or irked, irritated too, but enraged was something every eclipse. Mikey could be brave just like Leo too – With his blue eyes and ability to see only good – Mikey rarely saw danger in anything because of this innocence. It worried them that he was so carefree but because of that, Mikey was rarely scared. Sometimes he'd hide behind his brothers but when Mikey wanted to he was brave; just like his big brother Leo.
Don was sad because he could only see Mikey looking up to Leo and Raph; he wanted him and Mikey to have a trait Mikey picked up from him. For Mikey to look up to him. From Leo Mikey got bravery, from Raph Mikey got the ability to have a dangerous anger stronger than anyone else's in the house, and from Splinter he got the ability to be emotionally wise. Mikey was so empathic it was crazy. He understood everyone and his soul was pure. But from Don? Don couldn't say what Mikey picked up but the ability to be passive in every situation. Every then, it was something he could've picked up from Leo or Splinter.
Shaking his head, he got up and turned out the lights whilst turning on Mikey's nightlight. Mikey used to get frequent nightmares, and it came from his fear of darkness and being alone in it. For reasons Don didn't want to dwell on. He was about to leave until Mikey said something that got his attention.
"Thanks bro." He mumbled, "Could you sleep with me tonight? I don't feel well..."
Don was over at Mikey's side in a heartbeat. He felt Mikey's forehead only to find no more warmth than he should be feeling. He decided to do it anyway because on rare times like this where he would come to him and not Raph, he cherished these moments.
Climbing in next to Mikey, he wrapped his arms around Mikey's small form protectively.
"Night Donnie!"
"Good night Mikey." He said softly. Looking down at Mikey's cute form he realized with wide eyes what Mikey had done...
Especially with that smug grin on his face; there was no bad feeling, nor was he serious, again with Mikey's EQ* being so high he realized what Mikey had felt...
Mikey felt his need. His need of being a big brother.
