I have kept the same timeline in this story as I did in The Butterfly Effect. Based on dates that are actually mentioned in episodes we know that Proving Ground occurred on 6 Dec 2153, and Countdown on 13 Feb 2153. From dialogue we know that Azati Prime occurs either 2 or 3 day's before The Forgotten (there is some contradictions in dialogue), which occurs 3ish day's before the end of E Squared (Enterprise is early but there's no indication of how much), there is no indication of the timing leading up to The Council and Countdown but it appears to be a few days at most. This suggests that Azati Prime occurs about a week before Countdown which would make it the first week of February. If T'Pol started taking Trellium 3 months before this would coincide with the beginning of November. It's not too much of a stretch to conclude that Similitude, (which was 3 episodes before Proving Ground, 6 Dec 53), occurred about a month prior to Proving Ground.


Trip

When he opens his front door the first thing he notices is the smell of her candles. He feels a twisting in his stomach and he can't tell if it's anger or grief. He's not sure what to do now he's home. His mind keeps drifting back to the revelations of the day, as if there is some detail he's missing, some important clue that would reveal a hidden meaning so this could make some kind of sense to him.

Eventually he just sits down on the couch and stares at the cold fireplace. When the doorbell rings the hope flashes through him before he can tamp down on it, maybe it's her. It's not of course, why would it be her, why would he even want it to be. He's not quite sure what to think when he sees Phlox standing in his doorway asking if he can talk. He steps aside and indicates the Doctor should enter. He feels a twinge of guilt at his bad manners. He's having trouble accessing his charm at this point in time.

It's no surprise when Phlox tells him he wants to discuss T'Pol, he was pretty sure Phlox wasn't here for a local restaurant recommendation.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright Commander, you left Starfleet in something of a hurry."

Trip shrugs. What the hell is he supposed to say, he'd just remembered he left his oven on?

"I guess it was a bit of a shock, finding out all that stuff about T'Pol." He finally says after Phlox just stands there staring at him and waiting for a reply.

"I see, and how much of what you heard today do you think is accurate representation of T'Pol?"

Trip curls his lip and looks away. "I'm not sure how I'm supposed to make that assessment, after what heard today I'm not sure I really knew her at all. How do I even know if what she was feeling was real and not the result of a drug."

Phlox sighs. "The facts are, Commander, T'Pol has a terminal degenerative neurological illness. She also has some residual neurological damage as a result of exposure to trellium D, some of that exposure was deliberate. The neurological damage she has suffered makes it harder for her to suppress emotions. Everything else you heard today was conjecture by a person who does not know T'Pol very well at all."

"So how do we know when she's having real emotion and what's a result of the drugs and the damage?".

"I think you know better than that, Commander. They are all 'real emotions'. The trellium and the resulting damage do not produce false emotions, T'Pol is simply no longer able to effectively suppress all the emotions she already has."

Trip rubs his hand over his eyes. "So if she can't suppress all her emotions, does that mean she can't function, like the Vulcan psychiatrist claimed."

Phlox drops his head to the side and looks at him frankly. "Commander Tucker, you can't suppress all your emotions, can you still function."

Trip snorts. "Not according to Vulcans."

"Precisely, Mr Tucker."

He swallows, almost afraid to ask the next question. "What about the Captain?"

He flinches, he's pretty sure he just saw Phlox roll his eyes, which is not a common expression for the usually jovial Doctor. "Commander, I am certain T'Pol feels some affection for the Captain."

Trip feels a strange numbness come over him, as if he can't bear feeling anything if he has to bear the truth that she feels nothing for him.

"However, I also believe she feels some affection for me, and Ensign Sato, and Lieutenant Reed, and Chef, and even Porthos, for that matter."

Trip notices his name wasn't on that list, and he's pretty sure he rates above Porthos.

Phlox looks at him speculatively. "Commander, what do you know about Vulcan mating practices?"

Trip puts his tongue in his cheek and looks away. There's a loaded question if ever he heard one. The truth is: quite a bit and not a lot. "What do you mean by 'mating', Doc."

"I mean the cultural and biological mechanisms which influence the formation of pair bonds between Vulcan males and females with the ultimate goal of sexual reproduction."

Trip's relief is palpable, it's the 'not a lot' half of the answer. He leans against his kitchen counter and answers. "Not a lot, I know they get betrothed as children, that they often don't really know each other when they get married. But dating, falling in love, or whatever Vulcans do, not so much."

"Hmmm." Phlox's Look is somewhat unreadable. Trip has the uncomfortable feeling Phlox may know more about his relationship with T'Pol than he thought. "There is a strong telepathic component to Vulcan pair bonding which generally makes their bonds exclusive and permanent. Vulcans do not engage in casual relationships, they do not experiment with sex outside marriage, they don't cohabit with members of the opposite sex they do not feel a commitment to." As he says this he tips his head T'Pol's meditation cushion and candle sitting by the window.

Trip can't help himself. "You have to admit, Doc, she kind of went off the deep end when she thought the Captain had died."

"I believe you may find she was already "off the deep end" by the time we reached Azati Prime, Mr Tucker, by that time she had already been taking the trellium for three months and her emotional control was at its worst. What sort of reaction do you think she had when she thought you were going to die after your accident in the Expanse?"

"I can't answer that Doc, I was all but brain dead at the time."

"Think about what you know of the Sub-Commander, would she have taken such drastic action as chemically altering her emotional control without being prompted by a catastrophic event that she was struggling process in the usual way. Do the the math, Mr Tucker, what major event happened three months prior to Azati Prime?"

Trip bites his lip and nods his head, his accident, that's what. Then it dawns on him, the thought of his death was so terrible to her that she had to drug herself to cope. He folds his arms and looks at the floor for a minute, processing what he's just learned. He feels a rush of emotion, relief, that she did really care for him; guilt, that he was so quick to doubt her; frustration that she didn't even attempt to explain some of this herself. After a minute he looks back at Phlox "Thanks Doc, I think I needed to hear that."

"You're welcome Mr Tucker. Now, if you don't mind I should excuse myself."

Trip realises he hasn't been a particularly good host. He hasn't even offered Phlox a seat, let alone refreshments. His mother would tan his hide if she knew how bad his manners were. "Why don't you stay for a minute, Doc, have a drink?"

Phlox starts to walk towards the door "It's very kind of you Mr Tucker, but I have some personal matters to take care of." He turns and looks at Trip with one of his wide smiles. "As, I believe, do you. Goodbye Mr Tucker."

Had Trip known, he would have insisted Phlox stay.

He sits down on the sofa again, trying to match to match Fer'at's conclusions about T'Pol with what he knows of her and what Phlox has told him. She's definitely more emotional than she was, there's no doubting that. But even a more emotional T'Pol is still less emotional than any human he's ever met, even Malcolm.

She was pretty emotional at Azati Prime, even by human standards. But he can't really argue that the Captain was a pillar of logic, going off on a suicide mission. Nor can he say he held it together like a boss, both he and Malcolm were in favour of sending the whole ship in on a doomed for failure, suicide mission, she was able to function logically enough to point out the glaring errors in that plan. She pretty much pulled herself together after that. There were a few times she clearly got a bit emotional around him, but she still did her job and did it as well as could be expected under the circumstances.

That's when it hits him, she got emotional with him. When it was just the two of them, because she knew she could trust him. Except obviously she couldn't, because when she really needed him, when people were conspiring against her, he failed her and bought their lies hook line and sinker. A sense of urgency comes over him he has made a huge mistake and he needs to get in contact with her.

"I'm sorry Lady T'Pol checked out if the Vulcan Compound earlier today." The switch operator tell's him.

He is flooded with panic. She had already deduced this was coming yesterday. Because of who she is she would have planned for this outcome. "Did she leave any forwarding address or contact details?" He asks, already afraid to hear the answer.

"Our records indicate she has returned to Vulcan. Her transport departed at 1600 hrs today."

She's gone, he's already too late. It's 1645 hrs and Vulcan transports are never late, it's illogical. He sits down on the couch and puts his head in his hands. He is seriously considering booking a transport to Vulcan to chase her down when he hears the chime of his communicator. He gets a surge of irrational hope, perhaps she changed her mind. He tries to hide the disappointment when it turns out to be the Captain.

Archer is a man on a mission. He is going to fight this all the way, Forrest is on board as well and the Captain has an appointment to see Ambassador Soval the next day, he's taking Hoshi and Malcolm and wants Trip to come along. They are going to present a united front. The Captain sounds confident and driven. He's going to make this right. That confidence falters a little when Trip tells him T'Pol has already departed for Vulcan. Trip gets it, the whole thing seems more real, more final, knowing that she's gone. He agrees to attend the meeting even though he doubts they'll get much out of Soval, he's a company man after all. He will probably just toe the High Command line.

He terminates the call, sits on the couch and looks at his communicator. Willing her to ring him, to tell him she couldn't leave and needs him to collect her. But he knows that won't happen, it's not logical. The ringing doorbell gets his hopes up again only to be dashed again when he sees that it's just a courier.

Trip takes the package with some confusion, it seems to come from a framing company in town.

He opens the package and what he finds nearly stops his heart. Someone has taken the image of Shikahr and Enterprise, that Lizzy had sketched on her note to him, had blown it up slightly larger and arranged a collage of photos of Lizzy at all ages above it and framed it. With a lump in his throat he turns it over, there is a note on the back in unfamiliar writing.

Trip

After the death of a family member or acquaintance of significance, Vulcans make a Vokau[1, a kind of icon, to represent the memories of the lost loved one. I perceive that this image, drawn by your sister, and the photos, reminded you of all the attributes of Elizabeth that you admired and prompted many happy memories of her life. I trust this Vokau will help you find contentment in the memories of your sister.

T'Pol

He feels a tightening in chest as he comprehends the meaning of the gift, this is not the act of someone whose emotions are prompted by drugs or neural damage, this is an act of caring, of understanding, of love; and he just let her go.

He looks at Elizabeth's Vokau, and T'Pol's note and tries not to think about the fact that he has lost them both. He tries not to notice that it hurts to breathe.

Soval

He sits his desk at regards the group of humans gathered before him. He experiences a certain amazement at the different emotional expressions on each of their faces.

The female, Ensign Sato, looks saddened. There is a suspicious gleam in her eyes as if she is on the verge of tears. She is a fascinating creature, this human, there is no Vulcan equivalent for her talent for language, which seems to extend to an understanding of cultural norms and protocols. Humans are not routinely tested for psi abilities as the consensus is they do not possess them. But there has been some speculation that there is a telepathic component to her skill. Her fearfulness is also well known, although T'Pol had reported vast improvements over the course of Enterprise's deployment.

The shorter, dark haired male, Lieutenant Reed, is unreadable, almost Vulcan in his stoicism. Due his access to the V'Shar dossier on all Enterprise's crew, Soval probably knows more about the background of this human than any of his colleagues do. Lieutenant Reed's service in some of Earth's more covert organisations means he may be more well informed of the mechanism behind the action against T'Pol than any of his Enterprise brethren. Professionally confident, the Lieutenant demonstrates difficulty forming interpersonal relationships, perhaps as a result of his career in espionage.

Then there is the Engineer, Commander Tucker, intellectually brilliant, emotionally volatile, and perhaps the most lacking in self-confidence of all the officers on Enterprise. The Commander is showing signs of guilt. Not surprising it is very human to illogically assume responsibility for the questionable actions of others.

The Captain, however, looks determined and driven - confident. It is strange, this confidence, considering that the three humans who accompany him are probably more talented than him. He realises it is the confidence that makes Archer a good leader, he does not doubt himself. Perhaps amongst emotional species, leadership is a talent, like languages and engineering, and this confidence is part of it. It is actually more of a Vulcan attribute. Vulcans do not doubt themselves, humans, as individuals, are generally plagued by self doubt.

It is, he concludes, another difference between their two species. Vulcans are raised to believe in their own abilities, a Vulcan will assume another Vulcan is competent until proven otherwise. Conversely, humans will assume someone is incompetent until they demonstrate otherwise. Soval has noticed that humans constantly expect to have to prove themselves. It's something the Vulcan High Command has exploited to a certain extent over the years.

It is then he realises the most fundamental change to T'Pol. It is not her emotions, she was always more emotional than the average Vulcan. It is her loss of confidence. She no longer trusts her own judgement, her own logic. It is that aspect of humanity that has infected her the most.

The meeting proceeds largely as he expects, Captain Archer blusters and accuses and emotes, while Soval sits expressionlessly and tries to determine if there is any logic being communicated in the stream of words. Eventually the Captain comes to the end of his tirade. Soval has sorted the logic from the emotion and determined that the Captain has accurately identified the deliberate actions of High Command to have T'Pol return to Vulcan in disgrace.

He decides to show his hand somewhat to these humans. If the High Command pushes its unknown agenda too far, and risks the integrity of Vulcan in a way he is not prepared to tolerate, it may be useful to have more allies amongst the humans, particularly on their flagship. He can see that Archer is shocked by his candour, it is not congruent with the Captain's previous experience of Vulcans, they will rarely disclose dissent amongst their own ranks.

"So you're saying the High Command is corrupt?" The Commander is clearly struggling to grasp the subtleties of what Soval has revealed. He notices the slight twist in the Captain's mouth, clearly he is not so confused.

"That is not what I am saying at all, Commander. The actions of the High Command do not seem congruent with the good of Vulcan, which is illogical. It has become clear they are pursuing an agenda which is obscured. Until that agenda becomes transparent it behoves me to maintain the outward appearance of allegiance in order to maintain my position within the power structure."

"So that's why they got rid of T'Pol, because she bucked the system?" The Commander asks.

Soval takes a moment to process the meaning of the Commander's idiom. Even after so many years he is still often confused by humans' idiosyncratic use of language. "T'Pol followed her conscience, which would have seemed logical in the circumstances. She lacked the experience to see that highlighting the seemingly illogical behaviour of the High Command would make her a target of them. The High Command do not want to draw the attention of all Vulcans to their questionable rationale."

Archer gives Soval a thoughtful look, "So in theory, if we can convince Starfleet Command that the High Command persecuted T'Pol because of internal politics, we could get her reinstated?"

Soval suppresses a sigh, they still haven't made the final leap. "Captain, it is illogical to assume the High Command acted alone in this matter. It is clear Doctors Fe'rat and Soltan had full access to T'Pol's Starfleet medical records, that would not have been possible without the cooperation of Starfleet. I believe if we are to hope for a satisfactory outcome for T'Pol, baring a catastrophic change in Vulcan's political structure, you must pursue this from the Earth perspective."

"So you think Starfleet is also responsible?" The Lieutenant does not seem as outraged as Soval would have anticipated, more resigned in fact. Given his previous assignments he probably has less illusions about the innocence of Starfleet and Earth organisations in general.

"Not necessarily, I am suggesting that someone, or some organisation, with influence on Earth has derived some benefit from this situation. Unless you can determine what that is, our ability to assist T'Pol is limited." Soval can see awareness dawning on the Captain's face.

"So you're saying we can't get her back." The Commander persists.

Soval can't help but admire their loyalty to T'Pol, their reluctance to admit defeat, even against logic. "It is unlikely that T'Pol will return to Earth even if this matter is resolved satisfactorily, arrangements are being made for her to proceed with marrying her betrothed once she arrives on Vulcan."

"Koss!" The Commander's outrage is clear. "But she hates that guy." Even his crew mates seem surprised by the Commander's outburst.

Soval's eyebrow goes up. "Emotional attachments are not generally a factor in Vulcan marriages. Given T'Pol's altered personal situation, a satisfactory marriage may go some way towards re-establishing her status in Vulcan society."

Soval watches the Commander twist his mouth and look away with what Soval assumes is disgust. Humans typically have trouble reconciling the logical way in which Vulcans approach marriage, with their own emotional ideals. He's surprised T'Pol has even told the Commander about her betrothal.

The Captain rubs his hands over his eyes, and looks up at Soval, resigned to this outcome. "So we have to accept that we're unlikely to get T'Pol back, but for her sake, I think we should still try to clear her name."

This is the outcome Soval has anticipated as well. "I believe that is the logical conclusion, Captain."

The meeting concludes and Soval makes his farewells and watches the humans depart. He has taken a risk, revealing so much to them. He hopes his logic does not prove to be flawed. He realises how much tension he has been holding in his body and sits at his desk to take a moment to clear his mind of emotion, to relax and to breathe.


[1] Vokau - triangle shaped plate used to remember loved ones. I borrowed this idea directly from The Captives, by Panyasan.

XXX