No. He had been guided expertly to Voldemort, to have his skill and knowledge and tumultuous emotions exploited by that group of monsters.
She should have pulled him out of school when she had wanted to. Send him to a normal school, not some festering boarding school filled with miscreants and sociopaths, run by a headmaster who didn't care if his students killed one another.
Maybe it was time to write another letter to Remus Lupin, probably the only person that could understand without judgment.
She had never told Severus, never had the chance to really, that she corresponded with Lupin. They had never got on, even though Lupin had tried to lay the groundwork of politeness, and she didn't think they ever would. Even though it was accepted that the horrific "joke" hadn't been any part of Lupin's doing, Severus still resented and disliked the man.
It was plainly obvious, seeing him, that it would take more than just a visit of a few days to help him. And she knew he would not accept help from anyone other than her.
"I'll see you again. Don't stay away forever, hiding behind the excuse that it's for my own safety."
"I'll try not to," Severus answered from within the circle of her arms.
"That's the best I can ask for. At the very least, owl me. I don't want to be left out of touch with you for that long again."
"Yes, ma'am."
He started to pull away, but Sonia gripped his arm tightly and saw him wince. On his Mark then. "Severus..."
"I'll write. I promise." He made the effort to smile.
It was something. "See that you do, Severus." With the release of his arm, his face relaxed. "I love you, silly boy. Don't do anything stupid."
His answer was quiet. "Not this time." And quieter still: "I love you."
Back-slapping. He hated having his back slapped, shoulder clapped, hair tousled, and the person that dared attempt to pat his arse was getting a mouth full of curse. Bloody athletes.
"Excellent work, Snape."
At least it was only one slap on the back, and it was Millner; he didn't make a habit of such displays. "I'm sure they'll be put to good use."
"As am I. So what do you think? Ready for field work?"
With his own cloak in his possession once again, Snape was only as ready as could be expected for something so dangerous. "Of course."
The pair retreated to Millner's office, and only when the door was locked did the director say more. "Usually I pair a new guy up until he's used to it all, but I get the feeling you don't want or need a partner."
"Correct." To be hampered by someone else when he had been playing a far more dangerous game would be an insult. "I believe it would be a detriment to all involved."
"Right. Now, I haven't discussed this with any of the others. The others are aware of this objective, but I think this might be specially suited for you." Millner sat back in his chair, but not with his normal air of smugness. "You are our best man on your intelligence alone. Combined with your experience, that you've associated with these people before, and your cloak... Those things make me nervous as hell, I'll admit, but I can't deny their usefulness." Not even amused. This was deadly serious.
"Where am I to go?"
"The Malfoys."
Lorenz looked stoic as ever, but the owl rarely showed anything else. And when you get yourself killed, what will I do?
"Celebrate." The bird was worried about him. Amazing. "You won't get the chance anyway. I'm coming back very much alive."
The owl's golden gaze was fixed on him as he left the house and melted into the night. I wish you luck.
His plan was stupidly simple, but at this point, he didn't trust anything else. Of course his familiarity with Malfoy Manor made him the ideal person for the job, but that was cold comfort.
Lucius was a fool. An arrogant one as well, and with just a bit of luck on his side, Snape made it through the haphazard layers of wards. Lucius, grand arrogant fool, had never changed any of his security measures, not even passwords.
The snake moved slowly through the decorative and sometimes dangerous bushes and plants that dotted the grounds. Once at the house, it was simple to follow the foundation until he located a heat signature. Several, in fact, in the basement, but he was not content with that.
He retreated some distance away from the manor and resumed his human form, taking care to remain crouched in a bush. If he remained a snake, his terrible hearing and lack of magic would prevent him from getting any information at all. For this much trouble, he was going to get something.
Several potions later. his eyesight, hearing, and reflexes were vastly enhanced, and he was invisible. If not literally, he felt figuratively like a black cat in a dark room. His movements were silent as he returned to the window and crouched next to it. Straight through the feeble privacy charms on the glass, he could see and hear the small gathering of Death Eaters. It appeared informal though, as none of them were in their robes or masks. At least that meant Voldemort wouldn't be dropping in then.
Shivering slightly, Snape pulled his cloak more tightly about his shoulders. There was very little that escaped Voldemort's attention, and though the cloak was powerful in its ability to hide, it still had a signature that one powerful enough could detect. Voldemort was definitely that.
But the Dark Lord was not there. Just Lucius, the elder Goyle (Crabbe had been a casualty), a pair of men he did not recognize (being in Azkaban had not helped his information network at all), Milton Allanson (the father of one of his young, very bright Slytherin girls--she would be a prefect now, in her fifth year), and standing in the corner was Draco.
Something akin to regret squeezed his chest at the sight of the young man. Not just for Draco, but for Lilith--Merlin, she liked to be called Lily--Allanson, the orphaned Vincent Crabbe, and all the other children that didn't have a choice. They weren't given one, and in many cases didn't even know choices existed outside what their parents were doing.
For Snape, it was an unenviable position, but it was better than what he had done before as a spy. Here he wasn't forced to play the Death Eater, participate, stand aside while he watched torture and rape and murder. And he would never be asked to participate, never have some quivering mass of Muggle flesh shoved into his hands and told to "have some fun with it while it's still warm."
Thank you, Lucius, for memories that I will never treasure.
And then the gathering got more interesting as the main attraction arrived. The door opened to reveal Reginald Duprees with a bound prisoner.
Interesting twist to have Narcissa's brother there. Did the rest of the Duprees family know what the siblings had gotten themselves mixed up in? That was a question that would never be asked though, as Snape watched the helpless Muggle be shoved to the floor at the feet of the gathering. One of the unnameds kicked it--No! Dammit, this was not an it. This was a woman who probably had a family, children, a grandmother...
Clenching his teeth, Snape drew his wand. Magic of the power he was about to use disrupted the effects of invisibility about half the time; he had to be ready. Other than the mental preparation, it was very easy to point his wand at the window and destroy it and much of the surrounding masonry.
And he was slithering away from the destruction into a bed of flowers as anger and fear filled the air. Though he could not hear them now, he knew they had felt the use of magic and would investigate, look for the perpetrator. The heat signatures of the wizards retreated quickly, and he had to simply wait impatiently. Adrenalin pushed him to act, but experience told him to wait until he knew where everyone was.
For all the victims he had been unable to save before, every person still weighing on his conscience, he would start making it up with this one.
The air was damp, and a cold dew was starting to form on the foliage around him. Delicate black scales were no protection at all against the wetness, and an unpleasant sluggishness was starting to set in. If Lucius and the others didn't appear soon, he would have to change back to warm up. Soon enough, what felt like a herd of elephants came straight at him though, and he tensed. Being stepped on wouldn't be an experience he would enjoy.
"Idiots! Don't trample the flowers!" Lucius barked, loud enough for even Snape to understand. Thank Merlin for Narcissa's flowers.
The thundering subsided, and he was safe as the men avoided his hiding spot. They had lights, but none were directed at the ground; keeping still, he was unseen. Now if they'd just run off recklessly into the darkness...
Footsteps and heat signatures moved away from him, away from the house and into the yard. Snape gave them a good minute before changing back into a person, but he waited on the ground until he couldn't even hear faint voices. He crawled to the opening, pointed his wand at the unmoving figure, and whispered, "Mobilicorpus."
This would be the difficult part: getting them both far enough away so he could apparate. A moment of critical thought and he shed his cloak. Snape tossed it over the woman floating in the air and fastened it, then downed his other potion of invisibility.
Lucius couldn't detect the cloak, had never been able to; they would remain undetected as long as they didn't pass too closely to the searching wizards. With the layout of the grounds firmly in his mind, he started walking to the nearest exit.
"There was no information to gather. It was just an informal meeting, to have some sport." Snape watched with a detached gaze as a pair of medi-wizards attended to the Muggle. Another official stood by to perform the necessary memory charm.
Millner nodded. "How do you think they'll react to this?" he asked, not giving away anything in regard to his own feelings.
"Anger." Snape shrugged. "This may have been surprisingly bold, but for them to think it would never happen is also incredibly foolish. I don't believe they'll do anything specific in retaliation."
Another nod. "Even though you didn't get any information, I still want it in a pensieve so we can identify the men you didn't recognize. And good work. I knew you were the one for the job."
Praise. Curious. He hadn't even done anything, certainly hadn't helped the effort against Voldemort.
Snape looked at Millner, re-appraising the wizard. He could probably respect this man. Certainly it would help the situation, if he had to be working for him for an unknown amount of time.
This experience was certainly going to be... different.
[5 YEARS LATER]
"Got a problem, Snape. Need you to do something special this time."
"Kill Voldemort with my bare hands?" Snape did not look up from his current task.
"Baby sitting duty."
His head came up. "Excuse me."
Millner smiled, something that never bode well. "Protective custody. You're the lucky contestant this week." He dropped a folder in front of Snape. "You're to pick up your new roommate today. All the details are in there."
He was gone before Snape had the chance to properly react. The only focus for his outrage was the plain folder in front of him, and that did not make a satisfying target at all. This was, without a doubt, the most personally infuriating thing the Ministry had forced upon him, but certainly not the worst. But personal inconvenience was something he simply couldn't deal with, and this... There was nothing he could do about it. He would just have to take this person into his home, and he didn't even know who it was.
If they hadn't been actively trying before, it was definite now: the Ministry was trying to ruin his life.
With a great sigh, one of the only expressions he let loose in the small room, he stood. Might as well see who it was now instead of delaying it.
As long as this person just stayed out of his way...
END
