ShadowChild Of Death- I wanted to thank you for your review. But mostly I wanted to thank you for your bluntness. The utter demandedness of the review was like someone snapping their fingers in my face while I was in a trace. Not quite a slap in the face, but enough to wake me up. I've been neglecting Paint, but your review made me want to continue it. So, thanks again, and I'm sure my other readers are appreciative too.
P.S.- In case you haven't noticed, I did indeed officially delete those poems. They were crap anyways. But me deleting those doesn't mean I don't want you to read my other stuff. No, that would be a lie. Because the truth is…I love you guys. Lol. Naw, I just want you to read, enjoy, and review my sorry pieces of fiction. Lol.
P.S.S.- Okay. So I lied when I said I didn't love you guys. Of course I do. Just not it that creepy 'I don't know you but I loooooove you anyways' kinda way. Ew. Gross. Pedophile-ish. And I was lying again when I said my stories were sorry. They're not really. They're like this one. Crack Fics. Well not the Tamora Pierce one. Though that one will have funnies in it. Lol. Anyways…CONTINUE ON TO THE STORY!
With savage force, Alucard screwed the previously unused roller onto a broomstick. Glaring at the paint pan without seeing it, he rammed the pure whiteness of the roller into the all-consuming yellowness inhabiting it. Stripping the roller of its white innocence and deluding its color forever more, muttering Romanian curses all the while.
Looking around, he slammed his head into his palm, letting out a low growl. Earlier, he'd been so caught up in his idea he hadn't thought out his color scheme. Or rather, which wall he would color what. And out of the three colors he'd chosen, the dripping, wet yellowness on the deflowered roller before him was the only one that was a bit out of place. It reminded him of his usual outfit; red, black, red, black, red. And then, BAM! Yellow! From his shades.
The smirk that had form whilst he thought of his attire dropped back into a frown when he came back to his current problem. Picking his head up and looking at his surroundings once more, he let out a long, loud sigh, turning to his only left over resource for an opinion. He refused to ask Walter for his two cents on the matter. And always having others there to do it for her, he knew Integra would be useless in his predicament since she never had to do something like this in her whole life.
Damn. Why does everything have to be so fucking hard? Nothing can ever be easy for me, can it? No, of course not. That would just be making things too fucking easy!
Closing his eyes frustratedly and releasing yet another sigh, Alucard barley concentrated.
…Police Girl?
…Master?
Seras' reply was a bit delayed and had a sort of questioningness to it. Her master's 'voice' had sounded strange. Having an odd lilt to it.
Would it be terrible of your dear master to ask you for help on something?
Seras' eyes practically bugged out of her head. Making her look something akin to one of those cartoons with the wolf who sees what he would consider 'one hott mama', except her look was more one of shock instead. Pip, seeing her seemingly random reaction, sent her another questioning glance.
Y-You want m-me to h-help y- Shaking her head as if to clear it, Seras started over. What do you need my help with, Master?
Good. Well, you see, I'm at a little bit of a loss. If you had four black walls and three different colors, which would you paint yellow?
Furrowing her eyebrows in a questioning manner, Seras replied likewise.
…The ceiling?
Thank you, Police Girl. Your help is much appreciated.
…No problem, Master.
After receiving Seras' replay, her master shut the 'curtain' between them, leaving her still confused.
"-but I did your mom! Haha-ha. Ha. Ha? Humph. Tough crowd huh?"
Coming back to reality, Seras' ears were assaulted with the ending of Pip's latest pathetic excuse of a jive. He stood there looking awkward, openly biting the inside of his cheek with one eyebrow slightly cocked and lightly scratching the skin above the other, looking away from the group in front of them. Then noticing that Seras had come back from her own little world, he turned his head down and to the side as to look at her, raising both eyebrows now.
Looking up at him and then back out at the crowd, Seras noticed how quiet they'd gotten. Once again furrowing her eyebrows in a confused fashion. It was so quiet, it reminded her of those old cartoons she would watch when everything was so silent that all you would hear was a coyote wail in the background. Or, as in this case, crickets chirp.
Looking up at Pip in the same way he'd done, just in the opposite fashion, her head tilted up and to the side in his direction, Seras asked him very slowly and quietly, so as not to disturb the mob into a crazed frenzy, "What's been going on? What'd you do?"
"What'd I do? What ever do you mean? All I've been doing is telling jokes so as to distract these crazy asses," Pip said, his eye gone wide in an affronted expression.
"Well they sure as hell aren't laughing, Pip."
Glancing back at the assembled crowd, Pip sighed.
"I've noticed…"
"Humph."
Silence fell over the two as well. Pip trying to come up with other jokes to try on the swarm, and the swarm glaring menacingly back at the two. Seras was pondering her master's question when WHAM! It hit her.
"DAMNIT!"
Pip whipped his head around to stare at Seras, who was fuming and had face palmed herself, very much like her master had not five minutes before.
"We have to leave. Now."
"What happened? And y-you just cursed!"
"No shit I just bloody cursed! God! I am a fucking VAM-" Seras rant was interrupted by a woman's voice at the back of the mass of people.
"Watch your language, young lady! There're children about and you should never use the Lord's name in vain!"
This just caused another uproar from the raging crowd. Igniting the already sparked anger into a wild fire. Seras, though, just rolled her eyes for all to see, showing that she'd stop caring in what He thought of her. She was a vampire after all. Doomed to Hell no matter how you looked at it, along with the rest of the people assembled there. Plus, she wasn't just any vampire, but a DRACULINA. A direct childe of fucking DRACULA! The devil incarnate.
Yeah. That really sows hope in the soul. Oh wait! She didn't have one of those either, now. If she was lucky she might end up in Purgatory. Maybe even Limbo. Maybe. But to get into Limbo she'd have to be like a direct descendent of JESUS! Now how was she supposed to get to Limbo? Yeah. From what she knew, she'd already committed one of the biggest sins you could do.
So, still seething from the anger that that one random woman had planted in her, Seras wondered why the world always had to find her sore spots and nit pick at them. She'd already beaten herself up about that topic and these people had to go and do it again. Why couldn't anything be easy for her?
"Pip. Lets. Go. Now."
"We can't just leave. If we did that they'd fucking attack us. And I'm sorry but…I'm not a vampire with superhuman reflexes and speed and shit."
"Use one of your stupid jokes to distract them," Seras said through clenched teeth, rolling her eyes.
"They're not stupid…" Pip replied back, pouting.
To this, all he got back was a direct look from Seras and a more penetrating glare from the mob.
"Alright, alright. So they are a little bland, but look. Here's one!"
Seras started to slightly turn, getting ready to make a dash for it as soon as Pip had completed his diversion.
"Why'd the tiny vampiress run from the angry mob?"
Pip's statement was followed by the sound of those crickets in the background, chirping again while the multitude just continued to glare at him.
"…To save her sorry ass master, who doesn't deserve such a good fledgling. Hehe-he-he. Look something shinny and distracting!"
With that Pip looked wild-wide-eyed out behind the crowd and pointed. Everyone in the throng quickly turned and looked. Pip, acting fast, grabbed Seras up in his arms and took off before she could process what he'd done. Once it got through her head, and his, they looked at each other and, Scooby Doo and Shaggy style, switched places. Running as fast as she could, Seras got them to Integra's car, threw herself and Pip in, and took off at top speed back to the Hellsing Manor.
While Seras and Pip were making their escape, one child had turned around to see them. Pointing at them, he yelled in the typical manner a small child would use when ratting out an older sibling or cousin, "Look Mommy! They're running away!"
Once again, a loud uproar exploded from the mob and many jumped quickly into their vans, trucks, and cars to follow after the exotically expensive speeding blue sports car.
--Paint--
Back in Alucard's cell…
After manually painting his ceiling and having paint fall on his face and into his eyes from looking up to see what he was doing, Alucard had given up and now had his shadows doing it for him while he lazed on his throne, picking yellow paint out of the bits of hair he could reach and see. Growling with the effort, he once again mumbled Romanian curses to himself, damning himself for not remembering how this same exact thing had happened during his paint fight with Seras. Falling back into his memories while picking at his hair, Alucard found himself remembering that same day. Except after the paint episode this time.
Alucard was seated on the floor, glaring at the wall while Seras, seated in a chair behind him, combed through his messy midnight hair with a brush and her fingers. His hair didn't even resemble hair anymore. After the paint fight and his apology incident, Alucard had retreated once more to his room while Seras took a long hot shower.
It had been easy for him to fix his clothes. All he had to do was form new ones, and anyways, it wasn't like he'd wore his whole outfit while 'painting'. No. His attire had consisted only of his white dress shirt, black trousers, and boots. Not to mention his ever-present gloves. But his hair was a totally different matter. You'd think it'd be easy to clean it of the paint, it being something akin to like controlled shadow atop his head that he rarely took the time to actually control. But no, it was more like regular hair when it came to the paint.
So, when Seras had returned to her room, free of all paint and fully dressed in short girl boxers and a t-shirt she slept in, Alucard reluctantly made his way to her room. He'd stood outside her door for a little while, slumped over and staring at the floor beneath him. Eventually though, he'd walked through it and into her room, to find her brushing her dripping hair.
"Police Girl."
Seras had jumped a little when he'd made his presence known to her. But when she turned around she had on her how-can-I-help-you-Master? smile. Not seductive or anything of the kind, just kind. Still dressed in his dress shirt, trousers, and boots (cleaned now), Alucard looked back down at his feet brattily.
"Do you need something, Master?"
"Yes…"
Seras' smile had somewhat fallen into a confused frown while an eyebrow had risen.
"…Wha-"
"-Could you help me…get the paint out of my…hair?"
Seras' smile quickly returned as she giggled a little before answering her seemingly all-knowing master's question.
"Sure, Master. Come over here."
And that's how he'd found himself on the floor in front of his fledgling while she combed through his hair. Everytime Seras encountered a tangle in his hair, which was often, he'd wince as his head was tugged at. And everytime this happened, Seras would quietly apologize profusely.
Eventually though, she'd gotten his hair as untangled as it could be with paint in it. Once there she started to pull the pieces of paint out, which was still a bit painful to Alucard.
When this had Seras frustrated to the point of exploding, she stopped. Putting the brush down on the table and rubbing her eyes, Seras leaned back in her chair and sighed. Trying not to disturb her as much as possible, Alucard quietly asked her if she was done while turning his head to the side to look at her. Automatically she replied, "No."
"Why'd you stop then," Alucard had asked, while turning completely around.
"Because I'm tired and frustrated and this is just gonna keep hurting you unless…"
"Unless what," he'd asked skeptically, raising one of his eyebrows.
"If you took a hot shower. That would make everything so much easier. Or if we did this in the tub where I could sit on the toilet, you on the tub's floor, and I could use that shower-head-hose thingy."
Alucard had just sat there for a bit, starting at Seras unblinkingly while she sat in her chair rubbing her face and yawning. Rubbing her face with both hands and then sliding them down until her fingers only covered her mouth, Seras stared back at her master. A little perturbed, she cocked an eyebrow too and yawned again, closing her eyes until the yawn passed.
Alucard had just watched, and when her yawn had finished he'd answered.
"Fine. Lets do that then."
Nodding her head, Seras had stood up and headed toward the bathroom while Alucard followed. Seras opened the door to the bathroom and walked in, and then waited for Alucard to enter. Once inside, he'd looked at the tub and then sighed. Tugging his shirt and boots off, he climbed in and sat down again, staring at the tiled wall directly in front of his face.
Seras sat down on the toilet and moved her shampoo and conditioner closer to her. Leaning over her master's head, she reached for the water dial thing.
"It's sorta cold at first, Master."
Then the water turned on and splashed him with the freezing cold water that quickly turned warmer. Once it was hot enough that he could feel it comfortably, Seras moved the hose over his head while rubbing the shampoo through his hair.
He felt so relaxed that a low rumble was emitted from his chest. Seras barley took notice as she methodically washed his hair. When she was done she turned the water off and started to brush through his hair. As he wiped his face free of water, he noticed how the brush didn't snag and catch in his hair or pull at his sensitive scalp anymore. When his pampering came to a close, Seras took a towel and patted his hair as dry as she could before standing up.
Noticing the lack of movement on his head, Alucard looked over his white shoulder at Seras, who just nodded her head. Standing up and stretching, Alucard stepped out and accepted the other towel Seras handed him while once again rubbing her eyes.
Looking at her piteously, Alucard picked her up like he had the night he'd turned her. Seras yawned again and muttered a "Thank you, Master" and snuggled against him. Chuckling, Alucard had shadowed them back to her room. Laying her down on her coffin-bed Alucard had softly said, "We'll have to do this again sometime, Police Girl" before he left her room.
Catching himself smiling at the memory, Alucard quickly blocked the memory off. Spaquish! Narrowing his eyes, he looked up to see that his shadows had finished their job so well that some had fallen on his head. Again. Calling his shadows back in, he thought of what he was going to do with his two left over paints and four left over walls. Slowly, an idea started to form. And slowly his smirk widened, threatening to tear his face in two.
Standing up and grabbing one of the remaining paint cans he opened it with his superhuman claws. Putting that one down, he did the same to the second one. When he was finished, he dipped all his shadows into the two paint cans. Dramatically positioning all of them towards the walls, he waited until they were all covered in paint and completely still. Then, he released them, letting them throw themselves at the walls.
Next his familiars and hellhounds came out. They too were covered in paint and allowed to do as they pleased in the huge cell as long as the paint landed on the walls.
Laughing maniacally, he sat and observed all the chaos his shadows, familiars, and hellhounds caused. By the time they were all called back into him, the paint was all used up and successfully on his walls. Surprisingly, not a drop had hit the floor. Looking around, Alucard lazily smirked, completely and utterly pleased with his masterpiece.
The black and red paint covered every square inch of wall space in smacks and slashes. Black and red paw prints, body smacks, and teeth gnashes. From any angle you looked at it, it looked as if a bloody battle had taken place within the confines of his room. Which was almost true.
Standing up, Alucard shadowed his way to the kitchen where he got himself a well-disserved blood packet. Though he never really liked them, he thought he disserved something for his job-well-done and he already knew Seras and Pip had beat him to the always-pleasurable experience of pissing Integra off. So to the kitchen and fridge he went. Where he met up with Walter to whom he popped a blood pack in his face and snatched a few more and shadowed back to his room to enjoy the delightful mixture of blood and wine.
Hello everyone.
Okay, as I've explained at top, you and I have ShadowChild Of Death to thank for this new chapter.
I hope you enjoyed it. Please review.
Sorry 'bout the memory being all in italics.
I know this chapter is a bit…darker(?) and maybe more serious then it should be compared to the other chapters and the memory is a bit fluffy (that was…an opps) but that's how it came out. So…Whatever.
I also know that people might not be comfortable with the whole God thing with Seras but it called for an explanation. And so it got one.
And also, the whole memory thing wasn't supposed to sexual in anyway at all. It was just one of their relaxing and bonding moments.
