A Priest, A Rabbi, and Their Kids Walk Into A Bar…

Chapter 9: Far away

By: Seuss Fan

(Note: these characters are not mine. Please do not sue me. I do not accept or disagree with any of the subject matter described in this fanfic. I am merely a storyteller telling a story, so please; judge the artwork not the artist.)

Jon

" It's an affair of the heart…"

"Jon?"

"Yeah?"

"You sure you wanna do this?"

"Yeah, I'm the one who suggested it anyway."

"Well then why are you stalling?"

"Stalling? I'm not stalling!"

"You call making out with me for two hours not stalling?"

"We've made out plenty of times before."

"But not for two hours straight. Look, if you wanna back out its cool. It's a big step. We can wait."

"I don't wanna wait."

"Well, then can we go to my room, please?"

"Just five more minutes."

"Jon!"

"Ok, fine. Guess I'm just nervous."

"Nervous about what. We've taken the necessary precautions. Nothing's going to go wrong."

"I know I just can't stop worrying."

"Jon, listen to me. We are two responsible young adults. We've discussed this rationally and have taken all precautions needed to ensure that we don't have to go out and buy a crib. Everything's going to be fine. Now, before my parents get home, can we please go up to my luxurious attic bedroom and do what we intended to do?"

"Well, since you put it like that."

"I'll race ya."

"Hey, no head start! That's not fair!"

20 minutes later

"That was worth the two hour wait."

"You're welcome."

"You're so conceded."

"K, let's not fight now. It'll ruin the moment."

"Sounds like a good idea. So, Jon?"

"Yes?"

"Did you um ever… um…"

"Did I ever…?"

"Did you ever do what we did en seul?"

"En seul? OH! Um, yeah. Did you ever?"

"A few times."

"Karena Steinman, you are quite an intriguing person."

"You're pretty interesting yourself."

"I love you, K."

"I love you, Jon."

Life is sweet.

Rose

"A new life…what I wouldn't give to have a new life…"

It's been two months since Brian came back from his little road trip. Since his glorious return I haven't gotten to spend as much time with Isaac but such is life. My sister is dead set against coming back home. Her plan, according to Brian, is to show up on our mother's doorstep and live with her for the rest of her life. Brian hopes that my mom has the courtesy to send her straight back to New York but I know that that dream will never actually happen. Brianna will twist my mother's arm until it's about to pop off. She has a way of getting to you; of messing with you're mind till you can't recognize which thoughts are your own. According to Jon she'd make an excellent Jewish mother.

You're probably wondering why I'm acting so calm. I care about my sister. I'd like her to come to her senses and get the hell home. However, I'm not going to be waiting by the door on bated breath until she decides to mosey on back to the east coast. My sister is becoming a young woman. In two weeks she'll be turning fifteen. It's time that she start taking responsibility for her actions. Going to see my mother is a huge mistake. I miss her and wish that I could share in her new life with her. But the judge ruled against it. Even though when you're seven being torn away from your mother practically kills you when you look back on it ten years later it doesn't seem like such a bad idea. The judge had his reasons. I understand how hard it's been for my sister. After all I had two more years with mom and even though she wasn't there to help me through those awkward pre-teen years those extra 24 months helped out a lot. I understand how my sister's feeling but running away from your home and your friends and missing your first day of high school isn't going to solve anything. It's like the old saying goes: If you love someone, set them free. It's time Brianna set our mother free and start a brand new life.

Jeff

"Don't go breakin my heart…"

It's been two months since I've given my dissertation. Not to toot my own horn but I think it went pretty well. It felt good to get all that stuff off my chest. It made receiving therapy a whole lot easier to do. And to top it all of it got me the girl of my dreams. I bet you're confused so I'll let this convenient flashback do the talking.

(Flashback)

I can't believe I said all that. I've never been able to reveal that much about myself to anyone including my own friends and family. I think this place is really having an affect on me. Luckily, I was the last person to go. Now I get to go back to my room and console myself after spilling my guts all over the floor.

"That was really impressive."

Who said that?

"Turn around."

"Oh, um April. Uh, that's your name, right?"

"Yes, it is. That was a really impressive speech you just gave."

"Thanks, but I know for a fact that you're not in the class."

"Well, actually I was registered but I swapped it for a dance class."

"I didn't know you could do that."

"I claimed that physical activity would be better therapy than sitting and writing all day. But really it was because I like to dance."

"That's awesome."

"I know."

"That still doesn't explain how you heard my dissertation."

"I decided to skip dance today and wander around the halls."

"And you didn't get caught?"

"I ducked into the bathroom if I saw someone coming."

"Impressive."

"Thanks."

"So, you really like what I had to say?"

"Yeah, it was relatable."

"Thanks."

"I totally got what you were saying about feeling left out amongst your friends. My gal pals do the exact same thing. Like, just before I arrived here they were going to bake a cake for one of our friends who was going out of town. I thought I made it clear that I would be interested in attending but apparently my communication skills really suck. Next week I see pictures on Facebook of their little get together."

"That sucks."

"I know. And then, I swear one of my friends has started treating me differently."

"Why? Just because you have depression?"

"I think so. She used to act the same way around me that she did our other friends. But now it's like she keeps me at arms length."

"I feel bad for you."

"Thanks. Us lunatics gotta stick together, right?"

"Exactly."

"Wanna sit with me at dinner?"

"Sure."

(End of flashback)

Ever since then we've been spending every day together. And tonight we're having our first date. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Dating isn't allowed at this hospital. But we've found a way to get around that. Every other month you're allowed to get a pass for recreational time. This means that you can hop a bus to the movies, hang out around the grounds, play basketball, whatever your little, crazy heart desires. So, April and I both signed up. Now, you're going to ask why April chose me. The specifics I'm not quite sure of but during one of our daily talks she mentioned that ever since I arrived she's been keeping her eye on me. Then I proceeded to tell her that the feeling was mutual. I really couldn't be happier right now. I'm going on my first date with the hottest girl I've ever seen and to top it all off she's as crazy as I am!

"Love in a mental hospital. I swear it's like a twisted version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."

"Thanks for your support, Dave."

"In all seriousness, I'm happy f or you."

"Thanks, man."

"Now, go out there and don't come home until you get yourself a goodnight kiss!"

"Aye, aye, sir."

First, I have to go to the front desk and pick up my pass. April went first because if they find out that two patients of opposite genders are spending time alone together disciplinary action will be taken. Once you've signed for your pass you could throw that thing in a trash can, turn it into confetti, flush it down the toilet, it doesn't matter. As long as they have it on record that you signed for your pass, that's all that matters. Now, that that major bridge has been crossed let the date commence!

Oh, God. She got dressed up. Her outfit isn't formal but it's certainly nicer than what I'm wearing. She's gonna think I'm a slob and change her mind. Crap. The only time a girl wanted to go out with me and I'm gonna ruin it cause I look like some hobo off the street.

"Hey, Jeff."

"Good evening, April. You look nice."

"Thanks. You don't look too bad yourself."

Whew. Dodged a bullet there.

"So, what do you wanna do tonight?"

"How about we just take a walk around the grounds?"

"Sounds like a good idea. Shall we proceed?"

"You're such a dork. But that's what I like about you."

A girl who likes dorks; I definitely hit the jackpot! Well, I'm gonna go enjoy my date. Catch ya later!

Erica

"I'm here without you, baby, but you're still on my lonely mind…"

Stupid seventh grade homework. Stupid bat mitzvah prep. Stupid big brother in a stupid mental institution. Stupid other big brother and his stupid pretty girlfriend. Stupid best friend and her boyfriend. Stupid parents pretending everything's fine. Stupid cancellation of our monthly movie trip. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I hate my life. Grr.

Brianna

" You'll be in my heart, no matter what they say…you'll be here in my heart always…"

I did it. I saved enough money to buy a new wardrobe and pay for bus fair to Phoenix, Arizona. I'm going not only to see my mother again but also to live with her. I can't believe this day's really here. As I board the bus in my hot new pants I can't believe I'm actually doing this. And Brian, the little do-gooder that he is didn't stop me. I was able to work around his feeble attempt to discourage me. And don't pretend that you're supportive. I know you have the same mindset that he has. I know you don't think that she'll take me in. Well, I got news for you Internet audience she's my mother, she loves me, and she will take me in! Still in disbelief? Then why don't you join me on my journey? C'mon don't be shy it'll be fun. Better buckle up, it's gonna be a long ride.

Two days on the road. How you holdin up? Good? Yeah, that's what I thought. I had a feeling Greyhound would be a good choice. I could've taken a plane but that would've meant that I would have been a stripper for at least two more months. I know that most people think that strippers make a lot of money. That might be true in most circles but in the customers in Paris, Texas are a little on the cheap side. Yes! We're here! We're pulling into the bus depot. I made it! I mean, uh, we made it. I'm one step closer to living with my mother. And I couldn't be happier.

105 Pine Lane Road. This is it. You can get lost now. I wanna enjoy every bit of this moment.

"Brianna? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"I didn't go back to school in September. I've been spending all my time trying to get to you."

"Does Brian know?"

"Yeah, but I don't care. I wanna live with you."

"Please, come inside and unpack your things."

"Thanks, Mom."

"I'm so glad to have you home."

"So, you're not gonna send me back to New York?"

"I've waited years for this moment. So, the answer to that question would be, no."

Told ya so.