Knights Nerds Naps

Sam had come along for bro night, which was a good thing since they decided to play Halo in teams.

"I'm telling you, Batman is a tool," Santana grumbled as she sliced up Puck's avatar with a plasma sword. "The fact that you're arguing that Spiderman is a whiny pussy without mentioning Batman's mommy/daddy drama is incredible."

"Batman's parents are his motivation," Sam argued, running from Blaine onscreen. "Spiderman snivels over every little thing, and he only started fighting crime out of guilt."

"Not true!" Blaine said, accidently shooting Santana while trying to hit Sam. "He wanted to make sure it didn't happen to anyone else—that no other families were ripped apart. He's just like Batman in that respect, but the difference is he's not a psychopath."

"Preach, Warbz," Santana said.

"A psychopath?" Puck asked. "Where are you getting that?"

"He doesn't know when enough is enough. And he's kind of abusive to Robin in the comics."

"You're crazy."

Santana's phone buzzed before she could back Blaine up. "Uh…I'm going to take this," she said, pausing the game.

"Whipped!" Puck fake-coughed.

She kicked him in the shins. "Hey Rach. Having a good time with Q?"

The boys all started making kissing noises, so she went into the hall.

"It's been awesome, but I'm calling to talk about you. What's this about you joining the Dalton Warblers' Fight Club?"

"IS THAT WHAT QUINN TOLD YOU?" Santana yelped. Then she heard laughter in the background on Rachel's end. "She totally put you up to that, right?"

"Yeah," Rachel said. "Really though, how are you feeling?"

"Fine. Blaine took great care of me. You don't have to worry."

"Okay. I'm still coming over to take care of you tomorrow."

"Does that mean we get to play doctor? I do still have the candy stripper outfit." Santana said, using her "You know you want me" voice. She smirked when she heard a squeak from Rachel.

"I…uh…"

Santana laughed.

"S, what exactly did you say to her?" Quinn said, getting on the phone. "She just turned red as a fire hydrant and is staring off into space."

"Quinn, give me my phone back! I'm perfectly fine!" came Rachel's voice.

"You two had better not be having phone sex while I'm here," Quinn grumbled.

"Well could you go wander around your hotel for a bit?" Santana asked, grinning. "All I need is thirty minutes."

"SANTANA!"

She laughed. Tormenting Quinn was one of life's greatest pleasures. "Put my girlfriend back on the phone, Blondie."

"We are not having phone sex, so don't even think about it," Rachel said.

"Well I get you all to myself tomorrow, so I suppose I can wait."

"Goodnight, Santana…."

"Night Rach!"

Santana smiled as she hung up and walked back into Blaine's "Man Cave". The boys were currently arguing over a movie to watch.

"Santana, Iron Man or Green Lantern?"

"Green Lantern, Trouty Mouth."

"How come Blaine gets a new nickname and I don't?" the blonde whined.

"He didn't have one to begin with, that's why."

"How's Rachel?" Puck asked. "Panicking over you?"

"No, she was just calling to check in. Q put her up to asking if I'd joined the Dalton Fight Club…."

"First rule of Fight Club…no breaking out into song, since most of you are Warblers," Blaine said, laughing.

"Speaking of Rachel," Sam said. "Mercedes has been bugging me to ask you if we can go on a double date with you guys. I think she's still trying to wrap her head around it, and my fine chocolate goddess gets a headache when she doesn't have full details."

"I'll agree, if you promise to never call Wheezy that again…."


Santana went to her parents' house the next day. It was time to have a think. She was spinning—that much was clear. She sat on the couch, turned the TV on, set it to a jazz station, and thought about everything from the past few months.

She had a girlfriend. One she cared about, and it wasn't just a rebound from Brittany. And she was actually terrified of the coming year because she knew her awesome girlfriend would be leaving.

Said girlfriend had awesome parents who actually gave a shit about her. And who had more or less offered her a home.

She had Blaine. Weird as that was. And Blaine was serious about protecting her from her stalker.

She had a stalker. One who was still sending her threatening text messages. One more reason to hate Verizon—they were dragging their asses on getting her number changed.

This had been one fucking insane summer. "Can't imagine how this year's going to go."

The doorbell rang. For a second, she was worried it was Colby. But when she looked out of the living room window, she saw Quinn waving from her car. She smiled, going to open the door. "Hey there!"

"Santana!" Rachel yelped, throwing herself into the older girl's arms.

"I just saw you yesterday," Santana chuckled.

"But you weren't grievously injured at that point," Rachel pointed out. She turned around and waved to Quinn.

The blonde honked once and drove off with a wave.

"I'm still not. See?" Santana pushed her hair back as she and Rachel walked into the living room and sat on the couch. She turned so Rachel could see the cut. "Totes fine."

Rachel kissed her. "I got you something."

"What?"

Rachel opened her bag and took out a teddy bear. It had a tweed coat and a red bow tie. "Number Eleven," she said.

Santana's mouth dropped open as she took the bear. "You. Are. Perfect," she told Rachel.

"I've worked hard to become so."

Santana grinned and pulled Rachel on top of her. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"I also agreed to go on a double date with Guppy Lips and Wheezy."

"Wait…what? Sam and Mercedes are dating?"

"Yup."

"Oh goodness."

"Stay over here tonight," Santana said. "We'll watch cheesy horror movies and cuddle."

"Cuddle monster."

"Am not."

They stayed that way for a while, just holding each other and listening to the music Santana had on. Finally, Rachel propped herself up on her elbow and looked at the other girl. "Tana?"

"Tana?"

"Shortened version of Santana."

"Yeah, I got that, but why?"

"Because I don't have a pet name for you."

"Uh…"

"Could go with Ana. Or Santi."

"No."

"Sanny?"

"Now I know how Blaine felt."

"We could go with something other than your name…. Cupcake?"

"The fuck—"

"Cookie? Muffin? Pookie?"

"Rachel—"

"How about…caballero?"

Santana shut her mouth. Even though she'd only said one word in Spanish, Santana was still having to resist the urge to take Rachel right there on the couch.

"Is that acceptable?"

"Say it again."

"Caballero. Spanish for 'knight', I believe."

Santana just nodded. "How…how much Spanish do you know?"

"A fair bit."

"Okay…."

"Something you'd like to tell me?" Rachel asked with an evil smirk.

"You're only allowed to call me that when we're alone, got it?"

"Got it."