"I'm sorry, Bethany. I promised Isabela that I would protect the ship today… and if there are templars around, I really want to stay here and make sure they don't board the ship. Can't you bring someone else?" Aveline shrugged.
"Like who? Anders and Marian have to stay here. Varric is in town with Isabela. I could take Merill, but two apostates running around on their own while templars are about doesn't seem like a wise plan. Not to mention how easily we would get lost."
"Donnic still has a headache… I still can't believe that mess last night." Aveline sighed. She was obviously tired and still mortified that she had punched her own husband. She couldn't let Bethany go alone and she really did want to protect her. But the ship and the people there also needed to be protected. They were up on the deck and Aveline put her hands on the railing looking at the harbour. Merill was helping the mages that were planning on leaving the ship that evening, among them Laura, Keanan and her baby. Keanan and Laura were only friends, but it seemed like they were getting closer and wanted to try and find a house somewhere further inland. Fenris had crawled up to the crow's nest and was keeping a watchful eye.
" Why don't you bring Fenris?"
"Well… I… don't know. I guess I just don't know him that well. In Kirkwall I always avoided him because of is mages-are-evil-stare. But I suppose I won't have to worry about getting mugged, he could just glare them to death." Bethany giggled and Aveline smiled in responds as she called for Fenris. He nodded and began to crawl back down. When he came over Aveline started talking to him. Bethany was grateful that Aveline would ask on her behalf, she already dreaded the awkward silences and intense glances the afternoon would bring in his company. She pushed her worries away and realised that she had almost missed the entire conversation.
"...so I can't go with her. Would you mind going with her to the Bazaar instead, Fenris?"
"No. I'll go get my sword and we can leave immediately."
Despite the awkward silence Bethany was thankful for Fenris' company. Everything was so foreign to her and it had been years since she had gone to a market. And he did make her feel safe. How she had missed this, going from stall to stall admiring various items and actually being able to taste samples of fruits. Such small pleasures had been denied her for six years. The Bazaar was unlike anything she had seen. Strange talismans, colourful scarf's and a smell of spices. Everything was so alive, so colourful and beautiful. She looked at herself. Her white shirt and pale trousers seemed so boring. Isabela had given her a purple scarf she had tied around her waist. It helped a little as it gave her colour and showed of her waist, but compared to the beauty around her, she felt dull. They walked past a rag with some beautiful, if a bit revealing, dresses and as Bethany touched the fabric Fenris must have read her mind.
"You should get one of those dresses, Bethany."
She gave him a baffled look. His comment had taken her complete by surprise but even so quickly responded.
"Why? Because I am a girl? Because it's not obvious enough what I am and the templars might overlook me?"
Fenris looked at her surprised by her hostility, but he could understand why she was on edge. He felt no resentment towards her as he answered as plainly and apologetic as he could.
"Because you would look pretty in one."
Astonished... baffled... nothing could do the surprise she felt justice. Not to mention the embarrassment of lashing out at him like that.
"Oh... well... They are pretty aren't they, but imagine the snags I'd get when running from templars."
"Why does fashion not consider the needs of the woman on the go?"
Bethany looked at him and burst out laughing. When a tear fell down her cheek he couldn't help, but smile himself. It has been so long since she had laughed last and the fact that it was broody Fenris that made her, just made it more hilarious to her. They should be careful with their money, but Bethany couldn't resist and she decided to buy the cheapest, yet pretty dress she could find. It was dark blue and reminded her of her mother's eye colour... the same as her own. They walked from merchant to merchant, talking about ordinary things. How she had missed this. She was a little sad that Marian couldn't have come with her, but the tense apprehension she felt when being around Fenris started to dissipate. So in the end she started enjoying herself and the company. They went to a merchant were they could sell some spare armour and weapons. As their transaction was complete the merchant spoke to Bethany.
"What about that servant of yours? Surely you would want him to look more presentable."
Fenris was annoyed, but he was use to this treatment. In Kirkwall he had even been slightly amused by the merchants in Hightown. They were always watching him as if he was going to steal something. But Bethany felt the merchants' behaviour towards Fenris repulsive.
"He is not my servant. He is my friend. And you can speak to him directly instead of referring to him as if he were a dog!"
She turned around on her heal and walked away. Fenris was almost as surprised as the merchant. No one but Hawke had ever defended him. Though Varric, Sebastian and Aveline seemed to like him well enough they had always kept silent in such situations, mostly to avoid a conflict. But Hawke had always defended him and for that reason he had always considered her his only friend. Apparently this need to defend others was a quality both Hawke sisters possessed. From what he remembered of Bethany, Hawke had always protected her and that made her come off as shy and apprehensive. It seemed that the years being isolated from her sister had given Bethany her own strength and determination. This reminded him of an episode about three years ago, before Hawke began a relationship with that mage. He still felt jealousy at the thought that an abomination could have her instead of him... all because of his own resentment and anger.
Leandra had decided to hold a party for the nobles to truly establish themselves in the high society. The reason for this was of cause to find a suitable husband for Hawke. Hawke had told him that she believed that her mother meant well and wanted her to be happy, even if Hawke did feel uneasy at the thought of an arranged marriage. Though this action had seemed invasive, Fenris never believed that Leandra would have forced Hawke to marry. Hawke had invited all off them to the party, but in the end only the mage, Sebastian, Varric and himself had attended. He had kept to the background talking to Varric, while the mage complained about the nobles' attitude. Sebastian had seemed much more at ease and blended in with the nobles. He was dancing with Hawke most of the night and Fenris had felt a sting of jealousy. Despite Sebastian's chaste vows he seemed very infatuated with Hawke. And Fenris would have sworn that he saw a hint of jealousy in Sebastian's eyes when he watched Anders with her. This had probably added to the man's rage when she had refused to kill the mage. The only true highlight of the evening was when a noble had walked over to Fenris and asked him to get some more wine. Fenris felt insulted, but instead of defending his own honour Hawke had stepped up behind the noble and told him off in a strict tone.
"He is not a servant. He is a trusted friend and an honoured guest. I would have you treat him with the same respect as any noble here."
The noble had been slightly offended, but just bowed and walked away. Fenris had given Hawke a small smile as he sarcastically remarked.
"Your reputation is now officially dented."
"Yes I know. You know I think it would be impossible to save if I were to dance with you."
The rest of that conversation was hard to recall as he had felt awkward and uneasy at the time. But somehow she had convinced him to dance with her. His love for her was imprisoned inside his heart, but for that moment at least she had been his.
Bethany and Fenris made the arrangement for the last of the supplies they needed. Luckily they could all be delivered the next day and they could leave Llomerynn.
She kissed him once more and got up from the bed. Anders groaned as Marian started to get dressed.
"Why are you getting up? We need to stay here anyway... we might as well be in bed."
"I didn't think you liked the idea of being trapped somewhere?"
"I don't, but with such lovely company how could I complain?"
He smiled at her and she had laugh. She had put on the trousers and was starting to button her shirt as she went towards him.
"What happened to "Sweetheart, I'm not letting anyone lock me up"?"
He shrugged and pulled her down on the bed for a kiss. He was about to unbutton her shirt as she gave him a gentle slap over his fingers.
"Oh no, you don't. I want to see what is going on and see how soon we can leave. You better get dressed."
"You're probably right. Where do we intend to go after this? I can't stay on this ship. I won't endanger more lives."
"You are right, we can't stay here... I was thinking of Ferelden."
"Ferelden? If anyone will recognize me it's there. Granted I have been gone for several years, but still. Are you sure that's a good idea, love?"
"I know, but we know the country. We have a better chance hiding there than we do in a foreign one. And I don't have to worry about people starring at Barkley like he doesn't belong. Besides, Aveline and Donnic need to go there. They intend to join King Alistair's army. According to Varric's information most of the templars in Ferelden has been send to other circles to keep order. Since we destroyed the one in Kirkwall things have been tensing up everywhere. Because of the circles autonomy and King Alistair's mage friendly attitude the templars are not as highly regarded there as they use to be."
Anders had put on his trousers and boots. He went towards her and wrapped his arms around her, feeling the warmth of her back against his chest. He gave a sigh and kissed her neck.
"I hope you're right. So where do we leave the ship? Just so you know if you say Denerim I'm going to pass out."
"We have to dock shortly in Denerim because of Aveline and Donnic, but I was thinking Gawren. It's close to the Kokari wilds and since the blight spread in the south I am hoping that there will be less people. It's going to be hard though and we need a lot of provisions."
"Sweetheart, I love you, but nothing involving you and me seems to be easy."
She gave a sigh but then giggled as she leaned her head back into his chest and lifted her chin in order to kiss him.
Fenris and Bethany were walking back to the ship. When Bethany saw a templar patrol she felt her pulse quicken and a chill running down her spine. In reflex she grabbed hold of Fenris' wrist. He first looked at her surprised, but then saw the templars. His eyes met hers and he placed a hand on her back leading her into an alley. The alley was dark even though it was early afternoon. It was filled with people, but they didn't seem truly alive. They were just sitting and standing without saying a word starring at them. Their small stalls filled with creepy ingredients and dead animals. The stench was unbearable. Fenris didn't say anything to Bethany, but it reminded him of the foundry where they had found Leandra all those years ago. He got the distinct feeling that at least some of these people were capable of bloodmagic. This had not been the best place to hide and they needed to get through this district fast. Bethany felt uneasy. An old dirty woman with one eye came up to her. She claimed to be a seer and took Bethany's hand. The first image that came to Bethany's mind was seeing Orsino as an abomination. She had tried not to think of it, but seeing her mentor going to such extremes had shaken her to her core. Bethany's other hand grabbed Fenris' wrist again as she closed her eyes. He could see that she was struggling and perhaps even a little afraid. Hardly surprising considering what she had been witness to in Kirkwall and the fact that templars could come upon them any moment. Fenris send the old woman away and as Bethany was holding his arm he led her through the neighbourhood. When they were finally back in "civilized" society, she took a deep breath and smiled at him as thanks. He simply nodded and they went back to the ship without any further trouble.
How Isabela was capable of getting an entire crew in one day was anyone's guess. Some already knew her, others new someone who knew her and others seemed interested in her... skills. Hawke figured that Isabela must have contacted some of them even before they left Kirkwall. If that was the case then they needed to get out of there quickly before anyone got wind of Isabela being in Rivain.
That evening the majority of the circle mages left their company. None of them were told where Hawke and her friends where travelling next. It would have been too great a risk. Anders gave Laura's son, Andrew, a final examination before they left. Anders took his time ensuring that the boy was healthy. In all honesty he also liked cuddling the boy. He had never imagined himself as a father until he fell in love with Marian. "We will fight for a world where our children can be born mages and free." Those were the last words he had said to her before the attack in the Gallows had begun. He had said to Sebastian once that his fight was a principal, but it was more than that. Justice fuelled him with determination and compassion for his fellow mages. It was a love for all of them in a sense. This had driven him this far and influenced his actions. Now he had started to realise something else. Since he had believed Marian would have killed him he didn't believe he had a future. He was fighting for the rights and freedom of all mages and had come to terms with the fact that there was no future for him. But she hadn't killed him and that meant he had a future. Not a normal one, but a future none the less and he felt a lot of personal desires starting to emerge. He was not just mourning the fact that Marian couldn't have a normal life, but it was the fact that they couldn't. He wanted a family with her. This was his own personal goal... his own selfish reason for fighting. But it wasn't likely to happen no matter how much he might wish for it. So he locked this wish inside his heart and would keep it there until, and if, he could ever permit himself to pursuit it.
The next day the supplies were delivered and loaded. There were also some mysterious crates, but Hawke figured that it was a smuggling job, Isabela had acquired for herself. Since she was already smuggling fugitives why not make some profit? Hawke thought it best not to ask what kind of cargo it was, but begged that Isabela at least have had the sense not to smuggle lyrium on this particular trip. Zevran said his farewells and that very evening they were again out at sea. Next stop Denerim.
